I am an expert on interpersonal relationships, conflict resolution, and SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
Post your questions here, and I will do my best to answer them, or at least make fun of you. And isn't that what we all want?
Dear TGRR:
I live in Kansas.
Sincerely,
CW.
Dear TGRR,
I'm dating again for the first time in 9 months. What do?
Yours,
Suu
TGRR,
It's 1:10 PM on a Friday, and there's nothing to do at work. I'm till too new here to go posting inane signs in the women's bathroom. How do I burn the next 4 hours?
Dear TGRR,
I don't actually have any interpersonal relationship issues, but BELGIUM. Wat do.
Love and huggles,
Son of Pancake Skillet.
TGRR:
Got more pounds on me than I want. Fixing this by reduced calorie intake, FIBER, exercise, and "Richter can't have no fuggin' beer :crankey:"
Is the health and collateral damage worth it?
MAIMKILLBURN
-R
Quote from: CarvedWood on June 29, 2012, 08:42:16 PM
Dear TGRR:
I live in Kansas.
Sincerely,
CW.
Dear CW,
Move.
Yours,
TGRR
Quote from: Suu on June 29, 2012, 09:04:07 PM
Dear TGRR,
I'm dating again for the first time in 9 months. What do?
Yours,
Suu
Dear Suu,
Drink bourbon and listen to tracks 7 & 8 of the Evita soundtrack (Madonna version) before your next date. Tell the cops you don't remember a thing. Hire the best lawyer you can afford. Or just run for Mexico. They accept assault rifles as currency there.
Quote from: v3x on June 29, 2012, 09:07:31 PM
TGRR,
It's 1:10 PM on a Friday, and there's nothing to do at work. I'm till too new here to go posting inane signs in the women's bathroom. How do I burn the next 4 hours?
Dear Vex,
You're never too new for that. The women at your workplace need to know you care.
Yours,
TGRR
Dear TGRR,
How can I improve my social station in life? I'm sick of being a peon, I want to crush humans with an iron fist. Or at least crush them. Also, now that I'm a small business owner, should I also become a libertarian?
Thanks,
John Galty
Quote from: Waffles, The Iron on June 29, 2012, 10:15:28 PM
Dear TGRR,
I don't actually have any interpersonal relationship issues, but BELGIUM. Wat do.
Love and huggles,
Son of Pancake Skillet.
Dear Kitchen Utensil,
Take Eurorail to New York. Transfer to Amtrak, and come West. We'll give you something to whine about. You hippies don't know how good you have it, and we aim to demonstrate the difference, you fucking wookie.
Love & Kisses,
TGRR
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on June 29, 2012, 10:17:07 PM
TGRR:
Got more pounds on me than I want. Fixing this by reduced calorie intake, FIBER, exercise, and "Richter can't have no fuggin' beer :crankey:"
Is the health and collateral damage worth it?
MAIMKILLBURN
-R
Dear Red Baron,
Yes, it is. I am in a similar situation. You should cut calories, stop drinking beer & mead for a while, and resume hitting people with rattan, whether you are at an SCA practice, or merely on the subway.
Yours in perpetual perpetuity,
TGRR
Quote from: Alty on June 29, 2012, 10:24:17 PM
Dear TGRR,
How can I improve my social station in life? I'm sick of being a peon, I want to crush humans with an iron fist. Or at least crush them. Also, now that I'm a small business owner, should I also become a libertarian?
Thanks,
John Galty
Dear 2-dimensional sermon-spouting hellspawn,
By all means, you should become a libertarian, as we all know that an unregulated market favors small enterprise. You should also take up Russian Roulette, and make fun of ECH's Stigmatic Clog Dancing beliefs/practices when he's drunk. Then tug on Superman's cape, spit into the wind, pull the mask off the ole Lone Ranger, and cap the night off by messing with Jim.
Yours,
Susan
:hammer:
Fucking Jim, I hate that guy.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 29, 2012, 10:24:54 PM
Quote from: Waffles, The Iron on June 29, 2012, 10:15:28 PM
Dear TGRR,
I don't actually have any interpersonal relationship issues, but BELGIUM. Wat do.
Love and huggles,
Son of Pancake Skillet.
Dear Kitchen Utensil,
Take Eurorail to New York. Transfer to Amtrak, and come West. We'll give you something to whine about. You hippies don't know how good you have it, and we aim to demonstrate the difference, you fucking wookie.
Love & Kisses,
TGRR
I shall do my best to follow your advice O Agony Rev.
Quote from: Waffles, The Iron on June 29, 2012, 10:15:28 PMI don't actually have any interpersonal relationship issues, but BELGIUM. Wat do.
Do like me. Use as a place to keep all your stuff.
Also, in case of sudden superpowerz, please
do not destroy, because it is where I keep all my stuff. Thanksalot.
greetings,
(http://i.imgur.com/1VkY1.jpg)
And now for question. It's probably not as horrible as most horrible stories about work I sometimes read here, but at the Young Researchers' they question and/or fail to acknowledge my INFINITE KNOWLEDGE OF PROMOTING STUFF. "Infinite" mostly relative to their lack of knowledge (divide by zero etc), as these are people that seem to think it's sufficient to promote new Friday night opening hours on the website with "starting 8th june we're open from 19-22h" without mentioning it's a weekly thing on fridays. And that when you print 1,000 (expensive) full colour glossy flyers (that at least contained the crucial information, but did have creepy stockphoto toothpaste-smile kids on it) then send nearly all of them to a bunch of schools with exactly zero result, THAT IT IS IMPERATIVE TO TAKE EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO STATE THAT NOTHIGN WENT WRONG WHEN CALLED ON THIS BULLSHIT AND ANY SUGGESTION LIKE "maybe the schools didn't actually do anything with the flyers or we'd have seen at least one or two new kids instead of just 3 regulars per night? so maybe you should check if they actually did before thinking "ok well that's done, GOOD."? and maybe you should leave about half of the flyers for volunteers and parents to take with them because they're REALLY motivated to spend effort on promo" IS TO BE MET WITH "That's how we always did it!!" EXCEPT THIS FUCKING TIME AS YOU JUST WASTED SOME STUPID AMOUNT OF CASH BY DUMPING A BUNCH OF FLYERS ONTO SOME SCHOOLS THAT DID EXACTLY ZILCH WITH THEM and and and oh god there's more but I'm saving that for a very clear and well-thought-out email to the chief/manager person (who I
thought was a pretty bright guy--but then I also mistakenly thought that the coordinator responsible for promo and a bunch of other failed stuff was a pretty bright woman)--unlike the previous email that sort of went "OMG seriously?! I got a question from a confused kid today whether we were open every night now because the front page of our website says 'starting 8th june we're open from 19-22h' without mentioning it's weekly on Fridays and it's been saying that for the past three weeks?!" which might have been a bad idea but for all I care it should have said AND YOU FUCKING WONDER WHY WE'VE ONLY HAD 3 KIDS PER EVENING SINCE WE STARTED AND YOU SRSLY THINK THIS IS GOING TO SOLVE ITSELF BY SITTING ON YOUR ASS but I didn't say that. I'd have been right to say that, except a more toned down version of that question caused the woman responsible for promo to respond (incomprehensibly) with "but what you're suggesting is how we've always done it!"--srsly, I don't even understand what she meant by that, and when I asked if that's so how come that you just basically threw 1,000 flyers into the paper-disposal because there's been exactly ZERO response (the regular kids that came were simply told we were open,I doubt they even saw a flyer), I was told to apologize by the manager dude. Which I did, later (I prefer to apologize when I've calmed down and actually mean it) and she threw it back in my face with a "good, because we're going to have to work together in the future too" instead of a fucking "that's okay, what I said didn't actually make any fucking sense whatsoever" ETC ETC ETC I can probably go on for a bit. I will. But in a private textfile because you all get the point but there's a whole fuckton of more steam I need to blow off.
Anyway, the above makes me go UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG
What do?
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 29, 2012, 11:44:03 PM
Quote from: Waffles, The Iron on June 29, 2012, 10:15:28 PMI don't actually have any interpersonal relationship issues, but BELGIUM. Wat do.
Do like me. Use as a place to keep all your stuff.
Also, in case of sudden superpowerz, please do not destroy, because it is where I keep all my stuff. Thanksalot.
greetings,
(http://i.imgur.com/1VkY1.jpg)
And now for question. It's probably not as horrible as most horrible stories about work I sometimes read here, but at the Young Researchers' they question and/or fail to acknowledge my INFINITE KNOWLEDGE OF PROMOTING STUFF. "Infinite" mostly relative to their lack of knowledge (divide by zero etc), as these are people that seem to think it's sufficient to promote new Friday night opening hours on the website with "starting 8th june we're open from 19-22h" without mentioning it's a weekly thing on fridays. And that when you print 1,000 (expensive) full colour glossy flyers (that at least contained the crucial information, but did have creepy stockphoto toothpaste-smile kids on it) then send nearly all of them to a bunch of schools with exactly zero result, THAT IT IS IMPERATIVE TO TAKE EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO STATE THAT NOTHIGN WENT WRONG WHEN CALLED ON THIS BULLSHIT AND ANY SUGGESTION LIKE "maybe the schools didn't actually do anything with the flyers or we'd have seen at least one or two new kids instead of just 3 regulars per night? so maybe you should check if they actually did before thinking "ok well that's done, GOOD."? and maybe you should leave about half of the flyers for volunteers and parents to take with them because they're REALLY motivated to spend effort on promo" IS TO BE MET WITH "That's how we always did it!!" EXCEPT THIS FUCKING TIME AS YOU JUST WASTED SOME STUPID AMOUNT OF CASH BY DUMPING A BUNCH OF FLYERS ONTO SOME SCHOOLS THAT DID EXACTLY ZILCH WITH THEM and and and oh god there's more but I'm saving that for a very clear and well-thought-out email to the chief/manager person (who I thought was a pretty bright guy--but then I also mistakenly thought that the coordinator responsible for promo and a bunch of other failed stuff was a pretty bright woman)--unlike the previous email that sort of went "OMG seriously?! I got a question from a confused kid today whether we were open every night now because the front page of our website says 'starting 8th june we're open from 19-22h' without mentioning it's weekly on Fridays and it's been saying that for the past three weeks?!" which might have been a bad idea but for all I care it should have said AND YOU FUCKING WONDER WHY WE'VE ONLY HAD 3 KIDS PER EVENING SINCE WE STARTED AND YOU SRSLY THINK THIS IS GOING TO SOLVE ITSELF BY SITTING ON YOUR ASS but I didn't say that. I'd have been right to say that, except a more toned down version of that question caused the woman responsible for promo to respond (incomprehensibly) with "but what you're suggesting is how we've always done it!"--srsly, I don't even understand what she meant by that, and when I asked if that's so how come that you just basically threw 1,000 flyers into the paper-disposal because there's been exactly ZERO response (the regular kids that came were simply told we were open,I doubt they even saw a flyer), I was told to apologize by the manager dude. Which I did, later (I prefer to apologize when I've calmed down and actually mean it) and she threw it back in my face with a "good, because we're going to have to work together in the future too" instead of a fucking "that's okay, what I said didn't actually make any fucking sense whatsoever" ETC ETC ETC I can probably go on for a bit. I will. But in a private textfile because you all get the point but there's a whole fuckton of more steam I need to blow off.
Anyway, the above makes me go UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG
What do?
Mmm...There's a lot of hate there, of which I approve. But this question will take some mulling-over.
My dear Aunt Agony,
I apologize for not calling as often as you would like, but I do have a lot of aunts and uncles as you know, but you are my favorite aunt and that's why I've decided to write you. It's more personal than a phone call. It shows that you've put effort into the communication.
So, how have you been?
On a completely unrelated note, how may I maximize my successfulness? I'm a few rungs above unsuccessful in a variety of endeavors, and while it doesn't bother me too much, I realize that I'm fucking old for a teenager and Villager will probably want me to be at least a little more successful so she doesn't feel like she's with someone who probably won't be very helpful with the bills, especially if we stupidly think that reproducing will bring us a totally cute and well behaved bundle of joy. We both have siblings that are... of an interesting temperment... so it's really a 50/50 shot. But I digress.
What to do?
Your favorite Nephew,
Twiddleton
To whom it may concern:
Hello, this is a personal correspondence from Doktor D. Jennifer Phox. Thios is not a poorly worder form letter, nor am I actiually a vaguely humanoid android impersonating Doktor D. Jennifer Phox. That would be redundant. In any event, this is a letter for the express purpose of making an inquiry re: interpersonal relationships, etc. To this end I propose to put forth such an inquiry. The following is said inquiry. July 1st is anniversary. Is it better to celebrate then, or wait a few days and celebrate by firing m-80s strapped to bottle rockets over the fence while the neighbors are having their 4th of July BBQ? OR CAN I DO BOTH?
Mutual affection and firm hand shakes,
Senator John F. Doktor D. Jennifer Phox
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 29, 2012, 11:58:00 PMMmm...There's a lot of hate there, of which I approve. But this question will take some mulling-over.
Yes. It appears there is. OMG :lol: what a wall of text!
Anyway that's my current approach. Busy writing similar angryness into a textfile. It really helps because when I write it down, my head doesn't need to keep mulling over that bit anymore. And that saves me unnecessary stress, you know the kind you feel in your throat when you think about it, like a nausea except a bit more burning. Then, when I got it all down, I'll look at it and rewrite it two times (at least) until it's all calm and reasonable and mail it to the manager dude in question. Preferably before next wednesday. I still believe he's an okay guy. The coordinator woman, however, is not, it depends, I can't blame anyone for failing, because I do that too, a lot. I can, however, blame people for denial in the face of failure, because that pisses me off to no end. Anyway, when* that all fails, it's time for creative and disproportionate fun. Although care should be taken as this is mostly volunteer efforts** and very useful teaching kids technology which is in fact more important than no matter how aggravating things might get.
* sorry I mean "if" ;-)
** manager and coordinator do get paid tho (the idea being they carry
responsibility), just the people coaching the kids are volunteers. (actually we get EUR 2,50/h I dunno why, I'd have done it for free, still need to declare my hours in fact)
Additionally, in all fairness, remember the lack of sleep I was complaining about earlier this week, definitely contributed to a certain lack of measuredness in communicating during that meeting, might have gone better from my side too, but that doesn't excuse some of the things.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 29, 2012, 10:22:30 PM
Quote from: Suu on June 29, 2012, 09:04:07 PM
Dear TGRR,
I'm dating again for the first time in 9 months. What do?
Yours,
Suu
Dear Suu,
Drink bourbon and listen to tracks 7 & 8 of the Evita soundtrack (Madonna version) before your next date. Tell the cops you don't remember a thing. Hire the best lawyer you can afford. Or just run for Mexico. They accept assault rifles as currency there.
Thanks to TGRR,
My date was 62% better than expected! And my bail was relatively low.
Thanks TGRR!
Dear Agony,
When is it appropriate to stop talking reason and just "choke-a-bitch?"
OK Fucker,
How do you know when a long-term relationship needs to be over? And is it appropriate to go shack up with a large-breasted savage in a foreign land you can't REALLY see yourself living in, or should somebody cut back on the bilge water?
WHY AM I AWAKE RIGHT NOW
WHY
WHY
WHY
WHERE IS MY CONCUBINE???
Quote from: CarvedWood on June 29, 2012, 08:42:16 PM
Dear TGRR:
I live in Kansas.
Sincerely,
CW.
I don't know exactly why, but this made me laugh and laugh and laugh!
Quote from: Triple Zero on June 29, 2012, 11:44:03 PM
Quote from: Waffles, The Iron on June 29, 2012, 10:15:28 PMI don't actually have any interpersonal relationship issues, but BELGIUM. Wat do.
Do like me. Use as a place to keep all your stuff.
Also, in case of sudden superpowerz, please do not destroy, because it is where I keep all my stuff. Thanksalot.
greetings,
(http://i.imgur.com/1VkY1.jpg)
And now for question. It's probably not as horrible as most horrible stories about work I sometimes read here, but at the Young Researchers' they question and/or fail to acknowledge my INFINITE KNOWLEDGE OF PROMOTING STUFF. "Infinite" mostly relative to their lack of knowledge (divide by zero etc), as these are people that seem to think it's sufficient to promote new Friday night opening hours on the website with "starting 8th june we're open from 19-22h" without mentioning it's a weekly thing on fridays. And that when you print 1,000 (expensive) full colour glossy flyers (that at least contained the crucial information, but did have creepy stockphoto toothpaste-smile kids on it) then send nearly all of them to a bunch of schools with exactly zero result, THAT IT IS IMPERATIVE TO TAKE EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO STATE THAT NOTHIGN WENT WRONG WHEN CALLED ON THIS BULLSHIT AND ANY SUGGESTION LIKE "maybe the schools didn't actually do anything with the flyers or we'd have seen at least one or two new kids instead of just 3 regulars per night? so maybe you should check if they actually did before thinking "ok well that's done, GOOD."? and maybe you should leave about half of the flyers for volunteers and parents to take with them because they're REALLY motivated to spend effort on promo" IS TO BE MET WITH "That's how we always did it!!" EXCEPT THIS FUCKING TIME AS YOU JUST WASTED SOME STUPID AMOUNT OF CASH BY DUMPING A BUNCH OF FLYERS ONTO SOME SCHOOLS THAT DID EXACTLY ZILCH WITH THEM and and and oh god there's more but I'm saving that for a very clear and well-thought-out email to the chief/manager person (who I thought was a pretty bright guy--but then I also mistakenly thought that the coordinator responsible for promo and a bunch of other failed stuff was a pretty bright woman)--unlike the previous email that sort of went "OMG seriously?! I got a question from a confused kid today whether we were open every night now because the front page of our website says 'starting 8th june we're open from 19-22h' without mentioning it's weekly on Fridays and it's been saying that for the past three weeks?!" which might have been a bad idea but for all I care it should have said AND YOU FUCKING WONDER WHY WE'VE ONLY HAD 3 KIDS PER EVENING SINCE WE STARTED AND YOU SRSLY THINK THIS IS GOING TO SOLVE ITSELF BY SITTING ON YOUR ASS but I didn't say that. I'd have been right to say that, except a more toned down version of that question caused the woman responsible for promo to respond (incomprehensibly) with "but what you're suggesting is how we've always done it!"--srsly, I don't even understand what she meant by that, and when I asked if that's so how come that you just basically threw 1,000 flyers into the paper-disposal because there's been exactly ZERO response (the regular kids that came were simply told we were open,I doubt they even saw a flyer), I was told to apologize by the manager dude. Which I did, later (I prefer to apologize when I've calmed down and actually mean it) and she threw it back in my face with a "good, because we're going to have to work together in the future too" instead of a fucking "that's okay, what I said didn't actually make any fucking sense whatsoever" ETC ETC ETC I can probably go on for a bit. I will. But in a private textfile because you all get the point but there's a whole fuckton of more steam I need to blow off.
Anyway, the above makes me go UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG
What do?
I like it when this happens, wherein by "this" I mean "000 is on fire with the HAAAAAAATE"
Oh, my question was supposed to be about intrapersonal relationships. Well, it kind of was.
WHAT DO??? MORE BOURBON????
Should I keep on arguing for prosecuting people who buy sex rather than hookers when drunk?
It's the ONLY time these conversations come up, and it never goes very well. However it does keep my rage gland well oiled.
Quote from: Echo Chamber Music on July 02, 2012, 12:50:45 AM
OK Fucker,
How do you know when a long-term relationship needs to be over?
You know when you don't love her anymore.
Make sure that you distinguish "I don't love her anymore" from "I'm a little bored".
Quote from: Pixie on July 02, 2012, 06:33:05 AM
Should I keep on arguing for prosecuting people who buy sex rather than hookers when drunk?
It's the ONLY time these conversations come up, and it never goes very well. However it does keep my rage gland well oiled.
Yes.
Quote from: PROFOUNDLY RETARDED CHARLIE MANSON on July 02, 2012, 04:25:19 AM
Oh, my question was supposed to be about intrapersonal relationships. Well, it kind of was.
WHAT DO??? MORE BOURBON????
More SCIENCE. Specifically, sociology.
Quote from: Bruce Twiddleton on June 30, 2012, 12:20:31 AM
On a completely unrelated note, how may I maximize my successfulness?
Do what makes you happy.
Dear Roger,
What do I do when the well runs dry?
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 03, 2012, 02:38:55 PM
Dear Roger,
What do I do when the well runs dry?
YOU GO DOWN TO THE RIVER AND DROWN YOUR SORROWS. And then you search for a savior.
I suggest Beyonce.