Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: Sir Squid Diddimus on August 09, 2012, 12:46:57 AM

Title: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on August 09, 2012, 12:46:57 AM
In light of this recent news about your state's crime against humanity in the form of advertising Keystone as "BEER" I hereby declare war on your pathetic dust storm of a state.
If anyone there actually considers that watery hippo puss to be anything resembling a beer, be it pilsner, lager or otherwise, than they deserve ... TO HAVE TO DRINK IT.

Yup, that's it. Your cactus infested shit plate of a state is hereby CUT OFF of all beer. And I don't mean that rice corn and preservative piss water you melted brained wind heads call beer I mean REAL beer. Made of water, barley, hops and yeast. The way beer fucking SHOULD be made.

As for the guy on the billboards with the mullet.. well, his punishment is obviously to never get laid so long as that unfortunate event exists upon his maggot chewed cereal bowl of a "skull".

What have you got to say for yourselves, you puke!
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Eater of Clowns on August 09, 2012, 01:30:09 AM
Squiddy, where nightmares are born vs. Arizona, where dreams go to die.

TAKING BETS.  TAKING YOUR BETS.
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on August 09, 2012, 03:09:06 AM
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on August 09, 2012, 12:46:57 AM
In light of this recent news about your state's crime against humanity in the form of advertising Keystone as "BEER" I hereby declare war on your pathetic dust storm of a state.
If anyone there actually considers that watery hippo puss to be anything resembling a beer, be it pilsner, lager or otherwise, than they deserve ... TO HAVE TO DRINK IT.

Yup, that's it. Your cactus infested shit plate of a state is hereby CUT OFF of all beer. And I don't mean that rice corn and preservative piss water you melted brained wind heads call beer I mean REAL beer. Made of water, barley, hops and yeast. The way beer fucking SHOULD be made.

As for the guy on the billboards with the mullet.. well, his punishment is obviously to never get laid so long as that unfortunate event exists upon his maggot chewed cereal bowl of a "skull".

What have you got to say for yourselves, you puke!

I know the bolded, above, must be a typo, but it created a whole new mental image that resulted in

(http://photo01.getmerated.com/7/7f/7f5ee4d2bff75d4c/6a8856a827ace1bb/6a8856a827ace1bb.jpg)
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on August 09, 2012, 03:22:16 AM
That was not a typo madam.  :p
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 09, 2012, 04:27:31 AM
Watery hippo puss has NOTHING on Keystone.

All the people I've seen drink that shit drank it hot, BTW. Because they were the kind to hide beers in the laundry pile.
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on August 09, 2012, 04:40:45 AM
aaaaaaaaaand they must be destroyed.
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Freeky on August 09, 2012, 04:51:10 AM
Why are they hiding beer in the laundry pile? :?
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 09, 2012, 04:54:24 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 09, 2012, 04:51:10 AM
Why are they hiding beer in the laundry pile? :?

So their alkie spouses don't take them.
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Freeky on August 09, 2012, 07:16:49 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 09, 2012, 04:54:24 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 09, 2012, 04:51:10 AM
Why are they hiding beer in the laundry pile? :?

So their alkie spouses don't take them.

Huh.  That makes sense, I guess.
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 09, 2012, 07:38:44 AM
If I was hiding Keystones because I thought my family was going to steal them, I'd just hand Squid an axe and lay my neck across a stump.
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Freeky on August 09, 2012, 07:46:36 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 09, 2012, 07:38:44 AM
If I was hiding Keystones because I thought my family was going to steal them, I'd just hand Squid an axe and lay my neck across a stump.

I think if you were hiding beer and knew Squiddy, you'd know better than to get Keystone, because you don't come across as suicidal.
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 09, 2012, 08:13:09 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 09, 2012, 07:46:36 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 09, 2012, 07:38:44 AM
If I was hiding Keystones because I thought my family was going to steal them, I'd just hand Squid an axe and lay my neck across a stump.

I think if you were hiding beer and knew Squiddy, you'd know better than to get Keystone, because you don't come across as suicidal.

Keystone is probably almost as bad as death-by-Squiddy, anyway.
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Freeky on August 09, 2012, 09:00:21 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 09, 2012, 08:13:09 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 09, 2012, 07:46:36 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 09, 2012, 07:38:44 AM
If I was hiding Keystones because I thought my family was going to steal them, I'd just hand Squid an axe and lay my neck across a stump.
I think if you were hiding beer and knew Squiddy, you'd know better than to get Keystone, because you don't come across as suicidal.
Keystone is probably almost as bad as death-by-Squiddy, anyway.

:lulz: not even close, my friend. Squidday is from Florida.
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Juana on August 09, 2012, 10:11:10 AM
And Florida, like Ohio, has something fundamentally fucked up about it.
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 10, 2012, 02:47:29 AM
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on August 09, 2012, 12:46:57 AM
In light of this recent news about your state's crime against humanity in the form of advertising Keystone as "BEER" I hereby declare war on your pathetic dust storm of a state.
If anyone there actually considers that watery hippo puss to be anything resembling a beer, be it pilsner, lager or otherwise, than they deserve ... TO HAVE TO DRINK IT.

Yup, that's it. Your cactus infested shit plate of a state is hereby CUT OFF of all beer. And I don't mean that rice corn and preservative piss water you melted brained wind heads call beer I mean REAL beer. Made of water, barley, hops and yeast. The way beer fucking SHOULD be made.

As for the guy on the billboards with the mullet.. well, his punishment is obviously to never get laid so long as that unfortunate event exists upon his maggot chewed cereal bowl of a "skull".

What have you got to say for yourselves, you puke!

We await our Floridian liberators.
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on August 10, 2012, 03:31:22 AM
Even the finest of Florida rednecks such as this fucking broad-
(http://media.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/299969/856460.jpg)
wouldn't be caught dead with a Keystone.

It's Miller time in the dick state, bitches.

Even as I type this and read through this shit my cat can sense the anger welling up in my gut and has now pissed the floor in fright.
Good job, Roger.
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 10, 2012, 02:00:12 PM
IT WASN'T MY FAULT!

And they had a guy wearing a mullet on the billboard.

IT WASN'T MY FAULT!
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Freeky on August 10, 2012, 02:08:27 PM
I think we're doomed.
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 10, 2012, 02:09:09 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 10, 2012, 02:08:27 PM
I think we're doomed.

pleasepleaseplease let us be doomed
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Freeky on August 10, 2012, 02:12:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 10, 2012, 02:09:09 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 10, 2012, 02:08:27 PM
I think we're doomed.

pleasepleaseplease let us be doomed

Depends on what the doom is.

Are you going to killeveryone, squiddy? Can I request a painless death? I don't even like drinking. Period.
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 10, 2012, 02:15:26 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 10, 2012, 02:12:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 10, 2012, 02:09:09 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 10, 2012, 02:08:27 PM
I think we're doomed.

pleasepleaseplease let us be doomed

Depends on what the doom is.

Are you going to killeveryone, squiddy? Can I request a painless death? I don't even like drinking. Period.

There's nothing to actually worry about.  Floridians have to breathe.
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Freeky on August 10, 2012, 02:17:56 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 10, 2012, 02:15:26 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 10, 2012, 02:12:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 10, 2012, 02:09:09 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 10, 2012, 02:08:27 PM
I think we're doomed.
pleasepleaseplease let us be doomed
Depends on what the doom is.

Are you going to killeveryone, squiddy? Can I request a painless death? I don't even like drinking. Period.
There's nothing to actually worry about.  Floridians have to breathe.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot there's no air up here.

Hmm. It is still squiddy though...
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 10, 2012, 02:18:53 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 10, 2012, 02:17:56 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 10, 2012, 02:15:26 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 10, 2012, 02:12:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on August 10, 2012, 02:09:09 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 10, 2012, 02:08:27 PM
I think we're doomed.
pleasepleaseplease let us be doomed
Depends on what the doom is.

Are you going to killeveryone, squiddy? Can I request a painless death? I don't even like drinking. Period.
There's nothing to actually worry about.  Floridians have to breathe.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot there's no air up here.

Hmm. It is still squiddy though...


She's too skinny to have the extra lung mutation that many Floridians have.
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Freeky on August 10, 2012, 02:30:22 PM
Yes, but she is LT. SQUIDDAY, and killed everyone who outranked her, and now she awaits orders to lead cthulu's arimes into our universe.
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Sir Squid Diddimus on August 15, 2012, 02:50:22 AM
I will show no mercy.

I've learned to master the power of water bottle cat piss bag piping.



You do NOT want to know what that is.
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Freeky on August 16, 2012, 07:12:43 AM
Quote from: Sir Squid Diddimus on August 15, 2012, 02:50:22 AM
I will show no mercy.

I've learned to master the power of water bottle cat piss bag piping.



You do NOT want to know what that is.

I think we can mostly guess.  :horrormirth:
Title: Re: Dearest Roger- this means WAR
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 19, 2012, 05:04:03 AM
THE HAND THAT HOLDS THE CAT PISS IS THE HAND THAT RULES THE WORLD