Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 03:53:57 AM

Title: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 03:53:57 AM
Alty:  Brawls too much.

Richter:  Sharpens too much.

Leln:  Not saying.  DO I LOOK STUPID?

Nigel:  She's too many.

Garbo:  Smarter than me.

ECH:  Meaner than me.

Payne:  Dead.

Pixie:  Killed Payne.

Vex:  Phoenix.

Net:  Better with shoop than me.

EOC:  Posts too much.

Kai:  Because FUCK YOU, THAT's WHY.

Freaky:  Can cook.  I burned the kitchen down making grilled cheese.  HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN?

TGG:  Is young.

LMNO:  Can sing.  I can't carry a tune in a bucket.  For real.  I can't hear the tone of my own voice.

Cain:  Also smarter than me.  Also younger than me.

Signor & Signora Paesior:  Upside down.  Just to show off.

Dingo:  Also upside down.

I'll get to the rest of you fuckers later.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Juana on August 22, 2012, 04:13:06 AM
:lulz:
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:14:54 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 22, 2012, 04:13:06 AM
:lulz:

Fact:  I burned the fucking kitchen down not once but TWICE making grilled cheese.  Ask Freaky. 

They should make better instructions.  It's not my fault.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Juana on August 22, 2012, 04:18:20 AM
USE THE TOASTER!

Or the oven. Legit, man.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Richter on August 22, 2012, 04:19:57 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 22, 2012, 04:18:20 AM
USE THE TOASTER!

Or the oven. Legit, man.

Careful, I just sharpened those.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:20:38 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 22, 2012, 04:18:20 AM
USE THE TOASTER!

Or the oven. Legit, man.

Look, I'm a Holy ManTM and a maintenance geek, not Chef Boy Ardee.

When you are told to put some oil or butter in the pan, it says PUT SOME OIL OR BUTTER IN THE PAN.  When you put some oil in a gearbox, do you put some microscopic drop in?  No.  You put some fucking oil in.  Like a quart or so.

If they were more clear about this shit, we wouldn't have these little incidents.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:21:18 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 04:19:57 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 22, 2012, 04:18:20 AM
USE THE TOASTER!

Or the oven. Legit, man.

Careful, I just sharpened those.

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

TGRR,
Just peed all over the seat in his hotel room.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on August 22, 2012, 04:26:33 AM
:lulz:
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Suu on August 22, 2012, 04:30:52 AM
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Luna on August 22, 2012, 04:33:17 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 04:19:57 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 22, 2012, 04:18:20 AM
USE THE TOASTER!

Or the oven. Legit, man.

Careful, I just sharpened those.

DNT.  I left him unsupervised in my place once, just long enough to hit the can, and he sharpened my cat. 
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Freeky on August 22, 2012, 04:38:23 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 04:19:57 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 22, 2012, 04:18:20 AM
USE THE TOASTER!

Or the oven. Legit, man.

Careful, I just sharpened those.

:lulz:

Also, I am still giggling over jenne's reaction to you stepping into the kitchen looking yo make something to eat. Luckily, you opted for sammiches, otherwise the damage might have been permanent.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Suu on August 22, 2012, 04:38:42 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 22, 2012, 04:33:17 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 04:19:57 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 22, 2012, 04:18:20 AM
USE THE TOASTER!

Or the oven. Legit, man.

Careful, I just sharpened those.

DNT.  I left him unsupervised in my place once, just long enough to hit the can, and he sharpened my cat.

True story. I was there.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:39:30 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 04:38:23 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 04:19:57 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 22, 2012, 04:18:20 AM
USE THE TOASTER!

Or the oven. Legit, man.

Careful, I just sharpened those.

:lulz:

Also, I am still giggling over jenne's reaction to you stepping into the kitchen looking yo make something to eat. Luckily, you opted for sammiches, otherwise the damage might have been permanent.

THAT WAS UNWARRANTED ESCALATION!

Roger in the kitchen does not call for a kidney punch.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Luna on August 22, 2012, 04:40:47 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:39:30 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 04:38:23 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 04:19:57 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 22, 2012, 04:18:20 AM
USE THE TOASTER!

Or the oven. Legit, man.

Careful, I just sharpened those.

:lulz:

Also, I am still giggling over jenne's reaction to you stepping into the kitchen looking yo make something to eat. Luckily, you opted for sammiches, otherwise the damage might have been permanent.

THAT WAS UNWARRANTED ESCALATION!

Roger in the kitchen does not call for a kidney punch.

Just Roger reaching for the stove?
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:41:58 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 22, 2012, 04:40:47 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:39:30 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 04:38:23 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 04:19:57 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 22, 2012, 04:18:20 AM
USE THE TOASTER!

Or the oven. Legit, man.

Careful, I just sharpened those.

:lulz:

Also, I am still giggling over jenne's reaction to you stepping into the kitchen looking yo make something to eat. Luckily, you opted for sammiches, otherwise the damage might have been permanent.

THAT WAS UNWARRANTED ESCALATION!

Roger in the kitchen does not call for a kidney punch.

Just Roger reaching for the stove?

Look, this is why they invented "warning shots". 

I mean, come on...What are the odds I'd do it THREE times?
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Salty on August 22, 2012, 04:48:05 AM
I take offense. I am as peaceful as a lamb. Staunch pacifist, I am.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Freeky on August 22, 2012, 04:48:36 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:41:58 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 22, 2012, 04:40:47 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:39:30 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 04:38:23 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 04:19:57 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 22, 2012, 04:18:20 AM
USE THE TOASTER!

Or the oven. Legit, man.

Careful, I just sharpened those.

:lulz:
Also, I am still giggling over jenne's reaction to you stepping into the kitchen looking yo make something to eat. Luckily, you opted for sammiches, otherwise the damage might have been permanent.

THAT WAS UNWARRANTED ESCALATION!

Roger in the kitchen does not call for a kidney punch.

Just Roger reaching for the stove?

Look, this is why they invented "warning shots". 

I mean, come on...What are the odds I'd do it THREE times?

Well, you do have an unfortunate streak of bad luck. Standing next to the thing might be dangerous in itself.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Luna on August 22, 2012, 04:57:45 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:41:58 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 22, 2012, 04:40:47 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:39:30 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 04:38:23 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 04:19:57 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 22, 2012, 04:18:20 AM
USE THE TOASTER!

Or the oven. Legit, man.

Careful, I just sharpened those.

:lulz:

Also, I am still giggling over jenne's reaction to you stepping into the kitchen looking yo make something to eat. Luckily, you opted for sammiches, otherwise the damage might have been permanent.

THAT WAS UNWARRANTED ESCALATION!

Roger in the kitchen does not call for a kidney punch.

Just Roger reaching for the stove?

Look, this is why they invented "warning shots". 

I mean, come on...What are the odds I'd do it THREE times?

Unsupervised, and without the threat of severe punishment should it happen again?  About the same odds of you doing it twice.   :wink:
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:03:05 AM
Quote from: Alty on August 22, 2012, 04:48:05 AM
I take offense. I am as peaceful as a lamb. Staunch pacifist, I am.

You're an angry little bastard, you are.  You're like one of those Rottweiler dogs that eats babies.  You aren't BAD, you're just what you are.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:06:54 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 22, 2012, 04:57:45 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:41:58 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 22, 2012, 04:40:47 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:39:30 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 04:38:23 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 04:19:57 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 22, 2012, 04:18:20 AM
USE THE TOASTER!

Or the oven. Legit, man.

Careful, I just sharpened those.

:lulz:

Also, I am still giggling over jenne's reaction to you stepping into the kitchen looking yo make something to eat. Luckily, you opted for sammiches, otherwise the damage might have been permanent.

THAT WAS UNWARRANTED ESCALATION!

Roger in the kitchen does not call for a kidney punch.

Just Roger reaching for the stove?

Look, this is why they invented "warning shots". 

I mean, come on...What are the odds I'd do it THREE times?

Unsupervised, and without the threat of severe punishment should it happen again?  About the same odds of you doing it twice.   :wink:

Balls.  I just need time to learn.

So, less than a pint, then.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Luna on August 22, 2012, 05:11:04 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:06:54 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 22, 2012, 04:57:45 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:41:58 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 22, 2012, 04:40:47 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:39:30 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 04:38:23 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 04:19:57 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 22, 2012, 04:18:20 AM
USE THE TOASTER!

Or the oven. Legit, man.

Careful, I just sharpened those.

:lulz:

Also, I am still giggling over jenne's reaction to you stepping into the kitchen looking yo make something to eat. Luckily, you opted for sammiches, otherwise the damage might have been permanent.

THAT WAS UNWARRANTED ESCALATION!

Roger in the kitchen does not call for a kidney punch.

Just Roger reaching for the stove?

Look, this is why they invented "warning shots". 

I mean, come on...What are the odds I'd do it THREE times?

Unsupervised, and without the threat of severe punishment should it happen again?  About the same odds of you doing it twice.   :wink:

Balls.  I just need time to learn.

So, less than a pint, then.

Yes.  Less than a pint.

Here's a hint.  If you want to make grilled cheese (and I suggest you have one or two capable cooks on standby to supervise this), instead of putting oil in the pan, butter the bread on the sandwich.  On the OUTSIDE, not the inside.  That's plenty.  Toss the sandwich on a hot frying pan, and STAND OVER THE FUCKER.  Watch it every second, they're treacherous little bastards who just WANT to burst unto flame if left unsupervised.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:14:22 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 22, 2012, 05:11:04 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:06:54 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 22, 2012, 04:57:45 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:41:58 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 22, 2012, 04:40:47 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:39:30 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 04:38:23 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 04:19:57 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 22, 2012, 04:18:20 AM
USE THE TOASTER!

Or the oven. Legit, man.

Careful, I just sharpened those.

:lulz:

Also, I am still giggling over jenne's reaction to you stepping into the kitchen looking yo make something to eat. Luckily, you opted for sammiches, otherwise the damage might have been permanent.

THAT WAS UNWARRANTED ESCALATION!

Roger in the kitchen does not call for a kidney punch.

Just Roger reaching for the stove?

Look, this is why they invented "warning shots". 

I mean, come on...What are the odds I'd do it THREE times?

Unsupervised, and without the threat of severe punishment should it happen again?  About the same odds of you doing it twice.   :wink:

Balls.  I just need time to learn.

So, less than a pint, then.

Yes.  Less than a pint.

Here's a hint.  If you want to make grilled cheese (and I suggest you have one or two capable cooks on standby to supervise this), instead of putting oil in the pan, butter the bread on the sandwich.  On the OUTSIDE, not the inside.  That's plenty.  Toss the sandwich on a hot frying pan, and STAND OVER THE FUCKER.  Watch it every second, they're treacherous little bastards who just WANT to burst unto flame if left unsupervised.

Tell me about it.  I just wanted some lunch and BAM!  I pissed off some Aztec fire god or something.  They should put a warning on the cheese package or something...DANGER!  MAY EXPLODE IF HEATED. 

This is one of those "lack of communication" things they tell us about in Hazmat training, is what it is.



Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 22, 2012, 05:17:52 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 22, 2012, 05:11:04 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:06:54 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 22, 2012, 04:57:45 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:41:58 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 22, 2012, 04:40:47 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:39:30 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 04:38:23 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 04:19:57 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 22, 2012, 04:18:20 AM
USE THE TOASTER!

Or the oven. Legit, man.

Careful, I just sharpened those.

:lulz:

Also, I am still giggling over jenne's reaction to you stepping into the kitchen looking yo make something to eat. Luckily, you opted for sammiches, otherwise the damage might have been permanent.

THAT WAS UNWARRANTED ESCALATION!

Roger in the kitchen does not call for a kidney punch.

Just Roger reaching for the stove?

Look, this is why they invented "warning shots". 

I mean, come on...What are the odds I'd do it THREE times?

Unsupervised, and without the threat of severe punishment should it happen again?  About the same odds of you doing it twice.   :wink:

Balls.  I just need time to learn.

So, less than a pint, then.

Yes.  Less than a pint.

Here's a hint.  If you want to make grilled cheese (and I suggest you have one or two capable cooks on standby to supervise this), instead of putting oil in the pan, butter the bread on the sandwich.  On the OUTSIDE, not the inside.  That's plenty.  Toss the sandwich on a hot frying pan, and STAND OVER THE FUCKER.  Watch it every second, they're treacherous little bastards who just WANT to burst unto flame if left unsupervised.

Cast iron pan, not those thin scorchy things. Fire set kind of medium low, let the pan get hot. Then what Luna said.

And a bigass box of baking soda, in case something fucks up.  :lol:
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:19:44 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 22, 2012, 05:17:52 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 22, 2012, 05:11:04 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:06:54 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 22, 2012, 04:57:45 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:41:58 AM
Quote from: Luna on August 22, 2012, 04:40:47 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:39:30 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 04:38:23 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 04:19:57 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 22, 2012, 04:18:20 AM
USE THE TOASTER!

Or the oven. Legit, man.

Careful, I just sharpened those.

:lulz:

Also, I am still giggling over jenne's reaction to you stepping into the kitchen looking yo make something to eat. Luckily, you opted for sammiches, otherwise the damage might have been permanent.

THAT WAS UNWARRANTED ESCALATION!

Roger in the kitchen does not call for a kidney punch.

Just Roger reaching for the stove?

Look, this is why they invented "warning shots". 

I mean, come on...What are the odds I'd do it THREE times?

Unsupervised, and without the threat of severe punishment should it happen again?  About the same odds of you doing it twice.   :wink:

Balls.  I just need time to learn.

So, less than a pint, then.

Yes.  Less than a pint.

Here's a hint.  If you want to make grilled cheese (and I suggest you have one or two capable cooks on standby to supervise this), instead of putting oil in the pan, butter the bread on the sandwich.  On the OUTSIDE, not the inside.  That's plenty.  Toss the sandwich on a hot frying pan, and STAND OVER THE FUCKER.  Watch it every second, they're treacherous little bastards who just WANT to burst unto flame if left unsupervised.

Cast iron pan, not those thin scorchy things. Fire set kind of medium low, let the pan get hot. Then what Luna said.

And a bigass box of baking soda, in case something fucks up.  :lol:

I know how to put the fire OUT.  It's just keeping the fucking things from STARTING.

It's like spontaneous combustion.  TOTALLY INEXPLICABLE.  Like that Nostradumbass dude.

Stayed tuned for more mysteries on The History Channel.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Freeky on August 22, 2012, 05:25:08 AM
Thin coat of butter = yes. There's a can of spray oil next to the stove, you use that, not the bottle of oil. Just get the pan damp. Very thinly on. Heat on 6 so the bread doesn't burn and the oil doesn't scald.

Don't tell Jenne I told you that though.shedoesnt want you getting any funny ideas.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:26:00 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 05:25:08 AM
Thin coat of butter = yes. There's a can of spray oil next to the stove, you use that, not the bottle of oil. Just get the pan damp. Very thinly on. Heat on 6 so the bread doesn't burn and the oil doesn't scald.

Don't tell Jenne I told you that though.shedoesnt want you getting any funny ideas.

Look, none of this shit will help.  The stove HATES ME. 

THIS SHIT DOESN'T HAPPEN TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 22, 2012, 05:32:54 AM
You can put something like a teaspoon of any kind of oil into a pan and it'll spread out and cover the whole pan when it gets hot.
Shouldn't make a very big fire, either.

If that fails: Make toast. Put cheese on toast. Melt the cheese in the microwave.  :lol:
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Freeky on August 22, 2012, 05:33:59 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:26:00 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 05:25:08 AM
Thin coat of butter = yes. There's a can of spray oil next to the stove, you use that, not the bottle of oil. Just get the pan damp. Very thinly on. Heat on 6 so the bread doesn't burn and the oil doesn't scald.

Don't tell Jenne I told you that though.shedoesnt want you getting any funny ideas.
Look, none of this shit will help.  The stove HATES ME. 

THIS SHIT DOESN'T HAPPEN TO OTHER PEOPLE.

It could be worse. You might be eartha.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:34:34 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 22, 2012, 05:32:54 AM
You can put something like a teaspoon of any kind of oil into a pan and it'll spread out and cover the whole pan when it gets hot.
Shouldn't make a very big fire, either.

If that fails: Make toast. Put cheese on toast. Melt the cheese in the microwave.  :lol:

NOT THE POINT I JUST WANT THE UNIVERSE TO TREAT ME LIKE IT TREATS EVERYONE ELSE.



Um, except for how it treats people in Africa.  Because that would SUCK.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:34:54 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 05:33:59 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:26:00 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 05:25:08 AM
Thin coat of butter = yes. There's a can of spray oil next to the stove, you use that, not the bottle of oil. Just get the pan damp. Very thinly on. Heat on 6 so the bread doesn't burn and the oil doesn't scald.

Don't tell Jenne I told you that though.shedoesnt want you getting any funny ideas.
Look, none of this shit will help.  The stove HATES ME. 

THIS SHIT DOESN'T HAPPEN TO OTHER PEOPLE.

It could be worse. You might be eartha.

I don't drink enough.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Don Coyote on August 22, 2012, 05:35:51 AM
You need to make several blood offerings to the STOVE because you have obviously offended it. I can make grilled cheese on the burners without setting anything on fire.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Signora Pæsior on August 22, 2012, 05:36:23 AM
You're just jealous, Roger.

It's fine, though. Find a tree and hook your legs over it. Basically what being a New Zealander entails.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Freeky on August 22, 2012, 05:36:47 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:34:34 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 22, 2012, 05:32:54 AM
You can put something like a teaspoon of any kind of oil into a pan and it'll spread out and cover the whole pan when it gets hot.
Shouldn't make a very big fire, either.

If that fails: Make toast. Put cheese on toast. Melt the cheese in the microwave.  :lol:
NOT THE POINT I JUST WANT THE UNIVERSE TO TREAT ME LIKE IT TREATS EVERYONE ELSE.

Um, except for how it treats people in Africa.  Because that would SUCK.

:lulz:
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:37:02 AM
Quote from: Guru Qu1x073 on August 22, 2012, 05:35:51 AM
You need to make several blood offerings to the STOVE because you have obviously offended it. I can make grilled cheese on the burners without setting anything on fire.

HOW DO I KNOW HOW NOT TO OFFEND IT?

It only came with a warranty card.  There weren't any commandments or anything.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Freeky on August 22, 2012, 05:37:24 AM
Quote from: Guru Qu1x073 on August 22, 2012, 05:35:51 AM
You need to make several blood offerings to the STOVE because you have obviously offended it. I can make grilled cheese on the burners without setting anything on fire.

HAM?!
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Don Coyote on August 22, 2012, 05:38:36 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:37:02 AM
Quote from: Guru Qu1x073 on August 22, 2012, 05:35:51 AM
You need to make several blood offerings to the STOVE because you have obviously offended it. I can make grilled cheese on the burners without setting anything on fire.

HOW DO I KNOW HOW NOT TO OFFEND IT?

It only came with a warranty card.  There weren't any commandments or anything.

Guess?
Took over a year for the this same stove to let me cook bacon.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on August 22, 2012, 05:38:39 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 04:39:30 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 04:38:23 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 22, 2012, 04:19:57 AM
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on August 22, 2012, 04:18:20 AM
USE THE TOASTER!

Or the oven. Legit, man.

Careful, I just sharpened those.

:lulz:

Also, I am still giggling over jenne's reaction to you stepping into the kitchen looking yo make something to eat. Luckily, you opted for sammiches, otherwise the damage might have been permanent.

THAT WAS UNWARRANTED ESCALATION!

Roger in the kitchen does not call for a kidney punch.

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:38:54 AM
Quote from: Signora Paesior on August 22, 2012, 05:36:23 AM
You're just jealous, Roger.

It's fine, though. Find a tree and hook your legs over it. Basically what being a New Zealander entails.

"Arizona".

All of our trees are covered in horrible spiky things which are more often than not covered in something horrible and toxic.

Also, palo verde beetles.  Bastards will strip you right to the bone if they catch you in a tree.  Like piranha with exoskeletons.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Freeky on August 22, 2012, 05:39:38 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:34:54 AM

I don't drink enough.
And you're educated too well.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Don Coyote on August 22, 2012, 05:40:08 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:38:54 AM
Quote from: Signora Paesior on August 22, 2012, 05:36:23 AM
You're just jealous, Roger.

It's fine, though. Find a tree and hook your legs over it. Basically what being a New Zealander entails.

"Arizona".

All of our trees are covered in horrible spiky things which are more often than not covered in something horrible and toxic.

Also, palo verde beetles.  Bastards will strip you right to the bone if they catch you in a tree.  Like piranha with exoskeletons.

If only I had a DnD group still. :lulz:
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:41:19 AM
Quote from: Guru Qu1x073 on August 22, 2012, 05:40:08 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:38:54 AM
Quote from: Signora Paesior on August 22, 2012, 05:36:23 AM
You're just jealous, Roger.

It's fine, though. Find a tree and hook your legs over it. Basically what being a New Zealander entails.

"Arizona".

All of our trees are covered in horrible spiky things which are more often than not covered in something horrible and toxic.

Also, palo verde beetles.  Bastards will strip you right to the bone if they catch you in a tree.  Like piranha with exoskeletons.

If only I had a DnD group still. :lulz:

Arizona is like a great big Goddamn LARP.  Only you play for REAL HIT POINTS.

Oh, and the clerics are all nuts and can't heal you anyway.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Freeky on August 22, 2012, 05:43:19 AM
And no one thought to take the desert child trait because nobody is from here originally.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:45:51 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 05:43:19 AM
And no one thought to take the desert child trait because nobody is from here originally.

Except for all those pissed off Apaches, of course. 
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Freeky on August 22, 2012, 05:49:12 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:45:51 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 05:43:19 AM
And no one thought to take the desert child trait because nobody is from here originally.

Except for all those pissed off Apaches, of course.

Oh yeah. And the Hopi, and that other nation who went extinct(?) here. And tohono oodom.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:50:41 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 05:49:12 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:45:51 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 05:43:19 AM
And no one thought to take the desert child trait because nobody is from here originally.

Except for all those pissed off Apaches, of course.

Oh yeah. And the Hopi, and that other nation who went extinct(?) here.

The Hohokum.  Poor bastards didn't even wait for the White dudes to come along, got wiped out before we even showed up to elevate them and shit.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Freeky on August 22, 2012, 05:58:14 AM
Yeah, them. The ones who basically just up and vanished at the height of their era thing.

Or so I heard about it, anyway. (I think Tucson ate them.)
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on August 22, 2012, 07:40:50 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:45:51 AM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on August 22, 2012, 05:43:19 AM
And no one thought to take the desert child trait because nobody is from here originally.

Except for all those pissed off Apaches, of course.

:lulz:
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: LMNO on August 22, 2012, 02:27:35 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 03:53:57 AM
LMNO:  Can sing.  I can't carry a tune in a bucket.  For real.  I can't hear the tone of my own voice.



AUTOTUNE.


LMNO
-dirty, dirty secrets.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Luna on August 22, 2012, 02:43:59 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:34:34 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 22, 2012, 05:32:54 AM
You can put something like a teaspoon of any kind of oil into a pan and it'll spread out and cover the whole pan when it gets hot.
Shouldn't make a very big fire, either.

If that fails: Make toast. Put cheese on toast. Melt the cheese in the microwave.  :lol:

NOT THE POINT I JUST WANT THE UNIVERSE TO TREAT ME LIKE IT TREATS EVERYONE ELSE.



Um, except for how it treats people in Africa.  Because that would SUCK.

WARNING:  My idiot NYEX damn near burned down the house with the toaster.  Do not trust the little chrome bastards.

And when the Pop-Tart package says watch them when they're in the toaster, they are not fucking around.  Three foot tall flames, I swear.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Suu on August 22, 2012, 03:06:24 PM
Quote from: Luna on August 22, 2012, 02:43:59 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:34:34 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 22, 2012, 05:32:54 AM
You can put something like a teaspoon of any kind of oil into a pan and it'll spread out and cover the whole pan when it gets hot.
Shouldn't make a very big fire, either.

If that fails: Make toast. Put cheese on toast. Melt the cheese in the microwave.  :lol:

NOT THE POINT I JUST WANT THE UNIVERSE TO TREAT ME LIKE IT TREATS EVERYONE ELSE.



Um, except for how it treats people in Africa.  Because that would SUCK.

WARNING:  My idiot NYEX damn near burned down the house with the toaster.  Do not trust the little chrome bastards.

And when the Pop-Tart package says watch them when they're in the toaster, they are not fucking around.  Three foot tall flames, I swear.

Is that flammable food? Flammable apparatus? Or flaming asshole?

CHOOSE WISELY
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Eater of Clowns on August 22, 2012, 04:26:10 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 03:53:57 AM

EOC:  Posts too much.


Hey that's not fair, I barely post at al-

Oh.


:argh!:
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on August 22, 2012, 05:24:09 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:34:34 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 22, 2012, 05:32:54 AM
You can put something like a teaspoon of any kind of oil into a pan and it'll spread out and cover the whole pan when it gets hot.
Shouldn't make a very big fire, either.

If that fails: Make toast. Put cheese on toast. Melt the cheese in the microwave.  :lol:

NOT THE POINT I JUST WANT THE UNIVERSE TO TREAT ME LIKE IT TREATS EVERYONE ELSE.



Um, except for how it treats people in Africa.  Because that would SUCK.

UNIVERSE DOES NOT WANT YOU COOKING.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Dark Monk on August 22, 2012, 08:54:27 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 22, 2012, 05:24:09 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:34:34 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on August 22, 2012, 05:32:54 AM
You can put something like a teaspoon of any kind of oil into a pan and it'll spread out and cover the whole pan when it gets hot.
Shouldn't make a very big fire, either.

If that fails: Make toast. Put cheese on toast. Melt the cheese in the microwave.  :lol:

NOT THE POINT I JUST WANT THE UNIVERSE TO TREAT ME LIKE IT TREATS EVERYONE ELSE.



Um, except for how it treats people in Africa.  Because that would SUCK.

UNIVERSE DOES NOT WANT YOU COOKING.
The universe is scared of the possibilities of Roger's cooking potential.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Johnny on August 22, 2012, 11:42:31 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJ3Lkq104HM&feature=fvst (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJ3Lkq104HM&feature=fvst)

FOR ALL THE SQUARES WHO WONT BE MISSED
YOU MAKE MY-
SHIT LIST

SHIIIIAAAAAAEEEEET LIST
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: leln on August 23, 2012, 12:10:33 AM
This thread... :lulz:

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 03:53:57 AM
Leln:  Not saying.  DO I LOOK STUPID?

But you still implied I'm on your shit list, so some manner of retaliation is required. So Roger, have I ever told you about Cutter numbers? If you ask nicely enough, I can make it so they're not just for library-types and emo kids. And for the record, the emo kids only latched onto the term because they thought it sounded cool. Please don't blame librarians for their juvenalia.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 23, 2012, 01:01:10 AM
Quote from: leln on August 23, 2012, 12:10:33 AM
Please don't blame librarians for their juvenalia.

THEN STOP RUNNING RON PAUL FOR PRESIDENT.

Damn Librarian Party. 
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Richter on August 23, 2012, 01:41:34 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 23, 2012, 01:01:10 AM
Quote from: leln on August 23, 2012, 12:10:33 AM
Please don't blame librarians for their juvenalia.

THEN STOP RUNNING RON PAUL FOR PRESIDENT.

Damn Librarian Party.

:popcorn:

This is going to be better than her punching the furry...
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 23, 2012, 01:42:52 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 23, 2012, 01:41:34 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 23, 2012, 01:01:10 AM
Quote from: leln on August 23, 2012, 12:10:33 AM
Please don't blame librarians for their juvenalia.

THEN STOP RUNNING RON PAUL FOR PRESIDENT.

Damn Librarian Party.

:popcorn:

This is going to be better than her punching the furry...

Why do people giive the Librarian Party such a hard time?  I mean, they're always shooshing you, but you're supposed to be quiet in a library.  But everyone calls them sociopaths and shit.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Richter on August 23, 2012, 02:19:16 AM
Please do not exclude that they ALWAYS use silencers.  They don't take kindly to having their professionalism overlooked.  I saw them double-tap a geek about to finish the "Dragonlance" series for such an offense.  (last book in hand, and about to give the checker his library card.  Sad, I tell ya, sad.)

Anyways.  Like you said about me, not evil, just focused.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 23, 2012, 02:24:34 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 23, 2012, 02:19:16 AM
Please do not exclude that they ALWAYS use silencers.  They don't take kindly to having their professionalism overlooked.  I saw them double-tap a geek about to finish the "Dragonlance" series for such an offense.  (last book in hand, and about to give the checker his library card.  Sad, I tell ya, sad.)

Anyways.  Like you said about me, not evil, just focused.

ibrarians aren't evil, they're utterly amoral.  Sort of like a tsunami.  A very, very quiet tsunami.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Richter on August 23, 2012, 02:37:59 AM
Ask leln how to clear a room with a single felt book pad some day. 
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on August 23, 2012, 02:39:56 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 23, 2012, 02:37:59 AM
Ask leln how to clear a room with a single felt book pad some day.

Do you take me for a FOOL, sir?   After this thread, I'm not crossing the Mississippi.
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Salty on August 23, 2012, 04:31:47 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 22, 2012, 05:03:05 AM
Quote from: Alty on August 22, 2012, 04:48:05 AM
I take offense. I am as peaceful as a lamb. Staunch pacifist, I am.

You're an angry little bastard, you are.  You're like one of those Rottweiler dogs that eats babies.  You aren't BAD, you're just what you are.

Then how come they let me in this apartment building without a muzzle? They're very strict about that kind of thing. As for babies, sir, maybe if they weren't such babies...
Title: Re: Why you are all on my shit list, 2012
Post by: Luna on August 23, 2012, 12:21:04 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on August 23, 2012, 02:39:56 AM
Quote from: Richter, Baron von on August 23, 2012, 02:37:59 AM
Ask leln how to clear a room with a single felt book pad some day.

Do you take me for a FOOL, sir?   After this thread, I'm not crossing the Mississippi.

I still can't look at one of those date stamper thingies without shuddering...