Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 14, 2012, 07:42:20 PM

Title: The Noob Checklist
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 14, 2012, 07:42:20 PM
We've talked about doing this before, and I figured we may as well do it now.  Please post anything I've forgotten.

1.  You guys aren't REAL Discordians.
2.  Mind lazors.
3.  Hive mind.
4.  Cool Kids Club.
5.  Roger is the DEVIL.
6.  Check out my music site.
7.  I'm leaving FOREVER.
8.  Nigel is EVIL and BAD and should be more RESPECTFUL towards men.
9.  Let me tell you about this Discordianism thing I just read about.
10.  Any use of the word "fnord".
11.  RAW is a GOD, and if you contradict him, YOU'RE NOT A DISCORDIAN.
12.  I WORK WITH ODIN AND BAST!  LET ME SING TO YOU OF MY POWERS!


I know I'm forgetting something.
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: Freeky on October 14, 2012, 07:44:49 PM
Internet psychologist.
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 14, 2012, 07:46:29 PM
Valiant Resistance Fighter Here To Save You All From The POWER!
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 14, 2012, 07:47:09 PM
Oh, yeah:

EVERYONE ON PD LIVES IN FEAR OF ROGER/NIGEL/ECH/Whomever.
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: Freeky on October 14, 2012, 07:50:59 PM
Enraged, drunken posting, explaining in what is probably great detail why we are WRONG and they are RIGHT (north coast of India, poor people bell curve, etc.) only they are too incoherent, so we just laugh and jeer.

Or is that a regular member thing?
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: Cain on October 14, 2012, 07:52:59 PM
Inability to use quote/italics/bolding tags correctly.
Excessive use of smilies.
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 14, 2012, 07:59:19 PM
How did you forget word salad?
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 14, 2012, 08:00:05 PM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on October 14, 2012, 07:59:19 PM
How did you forget word salad?

My mind is still recoiling in horror from the whole Zara thing.
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 14, 2012, 08:02:52 PM
I just got a chance to skim through some of that. I have no idea what the history is there but goddamn that guy is permanent newspag.
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 14, 2012, 08:04:22 PM
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on October 14, 2012, 08:02:52 PM
I just got a chance to skim through some of that. I have no idea what the history is there but goddamn that guy is permanent newspag.

He's still technically a noob.  He was here 7 years ago, and HASN'T CHANGED.  How the FUCK do you NOT CHANGE IN 7 YEARS?

I mean, other than myself.  I was clever and sexy to begin with.
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: Freeky on October 14, 2012, 08:05:04 PM
Story of petty malice they committed, then catastrophic stern damage when it isn't applauded as perfectly discordian.
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 14, 2012, 08:08:15 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on October 14, 2012, 08:05:04 PM
Story of petty malice they committed, then catastrophic stern damage when it isn't applauded as perfectly discordian.

Oh, good one.   :lulz:

Are we talking about Fafalel or Halal or whatever her name was?
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: Freeky on October 14, 2012, 08:09:01 PM
Following an all out, knock down drag out heel digging screech fest, they will assert that they are not now, and never were, angry. It was the person they were fighting with (who usually are filled with lulz as they mock and poke) who was angry.
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: Freeky on October 14, 2012, 08:10:26 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 14, 2012, 08:08:15 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on October 14, 2012, 08:05:04 PM
Story of petty malice they committed, then catastrophic stern damage when it isn't applauded as perfectly discordian.

Oh, good one.   :lulz:

Are we talking about Fafalel or Halal or whatever her name was?

Her and that guy with the Taco Bell story. Dude's name started with an "H". Not holist, I think.
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: Freeky on October 14, 2012, 08:20:30 PM
Oh, also a new pattern is showing up: after a fight and a flounce, the noon comes back, apologizes, and tries to start anew. Alas, they didn't actually learn anything, despite what they say, and more heel digging and screeching begins again with pages of the noob 's return. Repeat as necessary.
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on October 14, 2012, 08:22:12 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on October 14, 2012, 08:20:30 PM
Oh, also a new pattern is showing up: after a fight and a flounce, the noon comes back, apologizes, and tries to start anew. Alas, they didn't actually learn anything, despite what they say, and more heel digging and screeching begins again with pages of the noob 's return. Repeat as necessary.

That's only happened once or twice though, right?
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: Freeky on October 14, 2012, 08:26:34 PM
Oh, oh!  "I thought this board would be different because you're discordians, but you're just as greyface as the rest of the internet." This follows mockery, complaints, or even helpful comments on how the board members in general prefer to communicate without word salad or gibberish. May sometimes have been preceded by outright denial of conforming to generally accepted grammar and language rules, probably in their introduction posts.
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on October 14, 2012, 08:30:32 PM
A. LOL TL;DR
B. Gosh you guys should EXPLAIN WHAT YOU MEAN before hitting people!
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: Freeky on October 14, 2012, 08:31:23 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 14, 2012, 08:22:12 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on October 14, 2012, 08:20:30 PM
Oh, also a new pattern is showing up: after a fight and a flounce, the noon comes back, apologizes, and tries to start anew. Alas, they didn't actually learn anything, despite what they say, and more heel digging and screeching begins again with pages of the noob 's return. Repeat as necessary.

That's only happened once or twice though, right?

There was holist, and DP, and wizard Joseph had a rocky start in this vein, but he finally snapped out of the loop at the right spot, and there was that one guy I can't remember the name of, who had an old driver's liscence photo for his avatar.  Its a really newish trait, but I think it could end up being a staple of noobosity down the road a bit.
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: Freeky on October 14, 2012, 08:38:31 PM
His could we have forgotten THIS one?!

"I am so crazy! Look how insane I am! Isn't that just so crazy? I went crazy of my own accord, because something something sleepy sheeple something something rationalization for dickish behavior something complete."
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on October 14, 2012, 08:39:35 PM
"BECAUSE THE JEWS!

I MEAN BECAUSE SOCIO-ECONOMIC STATUS AND OTHER THIN JUSTIFICATION"
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on October 14, 2012, 08:40:58 PM
REDASS BUTTHURT
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 14, 2012, 10:40:49 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 14, 2012, 07:42:20 PM
We've talked about doing this before, and I figured we may as well do it now.  Please post anything I've forgotten.

1.  You guys aren't REAL Discordians.
2.  Mind lazors.
3.  Hive mind.
4.  Cool Kids Club.
5.  Roger is the DEVIL.
6.  Check out my music site.
7.  I'm leaving FOREVER.
8.  Nigel is EVIL and BAD and should be more RESPECTFUL towards men.
9.  Let me tell you about this Discordianism thing I just read about.
10.  Any use of the word "fnord".
11.  RAW is a GOD, and if you contradict him, YOU'RE NOT A DISCORDIAN.
12.  I WORK WITH ODIN AND BAST!  LET ME SING TO YOU OF MY POWERS!


I know I'm forgetting something.

Sociological experiment, AKA I planned this all along, AKA LOL I TROLL U.

Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 14, 2012, 10:44:14 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on October 14, 2012, 08:10:26 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 14, 2012, 08:08:15 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on October 14, 2012, 08:05:04 PM
Story of petty malice they committed, then catastrophic stern damage when it isn't applauded as perfectly discordian.

Oh, good one.   :lulz:

Are we talking about Fafalel or Halal or whatever her name was?

Her and that guy with the Taco Bell story. Dude's name started with an "H". Not holist, I think.

:lulz: Can't forget "I'm so badass I fuck with drive-thru coffee girls", either.
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 14, 2012, 10:46:15 PM
Quote from: Freeky Queen of DERP on October 14, 2012, 08:20:30 PM
Oh, also a new pattern is showing up: after a fight and a flounce, the noon comes back, apologizes, and tries to start anew. Alas, they didn't actually learn anything, despite what they say, and more heel digging and screeching begins again with pages of the noob 's return. Repeat as necessary.

That's so classic it has its own name; "Daruko".

The original Daruko, surprisingly, eventually underwent a genuine reformation. His legend, however, lives on.
Title: Re: The Noob Checklist
Post by: Epimetheus on October 14, 2012, 11:07:41 PM
Principia fundamentalist? Usually a mix of #1 and pinealism.