I have an ASS CANNON, and it's pointed DIRECTLY AT YOU, you Goddamn crap-covered bonobo reject monkey-problems! Why, I'd rather SUCK VACUUM ON THE MOON than share real estate with your tick-infested hides, but GOD didn't GIVE ME A CHOICE! You make the fucking HAIR in my EARS itch, with your running around and hollering about shit that both DOESN'T MATTER and MAKES ME PUKE! And not just NORMAL puke, but that yellow stuff that looks like someone melted a LEMON MIRENGUE PIE! Yeah, I know I spelled that wrong, but it's that sort of NIT-PICKY BULLSHIT that proves that there's an EXPRESS LANE IN HELL, and it's NUT-TO-BUTT with people like YOU!
I could go on and on in this vein, but WHAT'S THE POINT? You'll still be Goddamn PRIMATES when I'm done, and all that will be accomplished is that the HATE AND LOATHING in my brain will make my blood pressure go up 20 points! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
TELL ME NOW, BEFORE I STOMP ON KITTENS!
NOT KIDDING, HERE.
FESS UP, OR MR BIGGLESWORTH BUYS THE BIG ONE.
look here. stomping all the kittens t you want. I'll be laughing while they cart you away for unamerican activities. Not that it matters. I have unlimited data, and so can you. With my unlimited data I can download all the kittens I want with my choice of fries or slaw and 20 different dipping sauces guaranteed free trade and low carb.
also Mr bigglesworrh is a know communist sect leader. stomping away.
Quote from: American Jackal on November 19, 2012, 08:48:25 PM
look here. stomping all the kittens t you want. I'll be laughing while they cart you away for unamerican activities. Not that it matters. I have unlimited data, and so can you. With my unlimited data I can download all the kittens I want with my choice of fries or slaw and 20 different dipping sauces guaranteed free trade and low carb.
AND YOU'LL NEED THAT SHIT NOW THAT THANKSGIVING IS COMING, SO YOU CAN STUFF YOUR UGLY FAT FACE WITH CRAPPY BUCKETS OF CRAP LIKE A GODDAMN FEEDBAG STAPLED TO YOUR HEAD. IT'S GOING TO BE HARD TO ENJOY THAT
UNLIMITED DATA IN THE CARDIAC WARD, YOU FRY-SALTING BASTARD.
we fry salt now. It's more docent. terrorist
go back to corn land.
Look all I have to do is download the newest plans and bam I can printout a new heart along with all thos kitens yoi ant to sromp you fascist.
And unlimited data is so unlimited I get it in my sleep. The heart Ward is no barrier to unlimited data.
unlimited data lets me watch all the news at once while tweeting about my newest multiscorecombodance in world oelder dragon effect 11 revolution.
Quote from: American Jackal on November 19, 2012, 09:00:01 PM
we fry salt now. It's more docent. terrorist
go back to corn land.
Look all I have to do is download the newest plans and bam I can printout a new heart along with all thos kitens yoi ant to sromp you fascist.
And unlimited data is so unlimited I get it in my sleep. The heart Ward is no barrier to unlimited data.
unlimited data lets me watch all the news at once while tweeting about my newest multiscorecombodance in world oelder dragon effect 11 revolution.
JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION, YOU SKIRT-WEARING WELSH PIGFUCKER! :crankey:
OH, WAIT.
You did.
UNLIMITED DATA TRAVELING AT FASTER THAN A RUN.
ARE YOU JELOUSOUS YET?
Quote from: American Jackal on November 19, 2012, 09:03:48 PM
UNLIMITED DATA TRAVELING AT FASTER THAN A RUN.
ARE YOU JELOUSOUS YET?
BLACK FRIDAY IS COMING, JACKASS.
You'll be TRAMPLED to DEATH at WalMart, and they'll haul you out in a BUCKET, with the only recognizable bit left being your HAND, still clutching the SNUGGY you bought to go with that dress you wear. NOT SO PRETTY
NOW, EH, PRINCESS?
Now I have to go SHIT A WILDEBEAST.
I blame you fuckers. :argh!:
THE HAIR IN YOUR EARS ITCHES BECAUSE IT FEELS LONELY. GROW A BEARD, ROGER.
Quote from: The Waffler on November 19, 2012, 09:31:05 PM
THE HAIR IN YOUR EARS ITCHES BECAUSE IT FEELS LONELY. GROW A BEARD, ROGER.
Well, that's not actually a bad idea, except that I sort of WORK IN AN ACID ENVIRONMENT, AND PROTECTIVE MASKS DON'T SEAL ON HAIR. Which is the number one reason YOU LOST WORLD WAR I. I'd LIKE to grow a beard like NORMAL PEOPLE, but unfortunately my options are A) Shave and B) CHOKE TO DEATH ON HYDROCHLORIC ACID FUMES. Needless to say, this fills me with seasonal cheer, and I was thinking I could be SECRET SANTA, with the SECRET being that I look like Santa with RADIATION POISONING. And I will give out chunks of Hiroshimite to all the deserving boys and girls, because THEY WOULDN'T SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS.
You know WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with me? TOO MUCH GODDAMN INFORMATION. Never time to rest, never time to analyze, ever fucking time to think. On the go go go go! Swimming, drowning in information, 99.99999999999% of it totally motherfucking useless. If I stop to try to figure out what's what and who's who, the world goes on without me, spinning faster and faster and faster and I can never ever catch up. So I go on the bits I pick up and that's the best I can do unless I want to drown.
Did I save the kittens? Because LOLCATS could use some more Stuff on Cats and I have, like, a stack of dishes to put on Mr. Bigglesworth, if you don't mind. And I'll never get any hits if I'm stacking dishes on catburger.
Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on November 19, 2012, 09:49:31 PM
You know WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with me? TOO MUCH GODDAMN INFORMATION. Never time to rest, never time to analyze, ever fucking time to think. On the go go go go! Swimming, drowning in information, 99.99999999999% of it totally motherfucking useless. If I stop to try to figure out what's what and who's who, the world goes on without me, spinning faster and faster and faster and I can never ever catch up. So I go on the bits I pick up and that's the best I can do unless I want to drown.
Did I save the kittens? Because LOLCATS could use some more Stuff on Cats and I have, like, a stack of dishes to put on Mr. Bigglesworth, if you don't mind. And I'll never get any hits if I'm stacking dishes on catburger.
LET the bastard spin, and when it REALLY gets going, smack it with a hammer like putting some "English" on a billiard ball. Then let the fucker spin off into space, where it will COLLIDE with JUPITER, thus FINALLY answering all of my PRAYERS. And in the meantime, tell everyone to SHUT UP with their USELESS INFORMATION, because it really IS useless 99.99999% of the time and maybe kick them until they DO shut up.
But do it somewhere where I CAN'T HEAR IT, because there's ENOUGH jabbering monkeys RIGHT FUCKING HERE.
And yes. You saved one (1) kitten. Things aren't looking good for the rest of the litter, though.
Basically the delay in response is due to you asking the wrong question, Reverend. The real question to be asking me is "what's right with me." And well, Rog-o, I was gonna wait till we sent out the Miel family Holiday newsletter to update you on the exciting new developments around the old homestead, but, boy-howdy it seems you're forcing me to spill the beans early.
Now Judith is probably gonna kill me for letting you in on this juicy little morsel, Rogerino, but guess who's going to be spending a full week in Branson. That's right Big Rog, Aunt Lulu. Oh man, I don't think that little town's ready for her wild jokes and crazy dance moves. Can you imagine??? HAH!
Oh, and speaking of Branson, it seems Trevor met fine young lady and if our Pastor approves they may be tying the knot next Spring. We're all a bit concerned because her family's Presbytarian, and well, you know how that goes, doncha Revster, you big prowler! But she's a great cook and they're both huge fans of the NBC Thursday night line-up, so I'm pretty sure they've got enough in common to get the Lord's Blessing.
Oh, and speaking of the Lord's Blessing, Roggy, you know that eye-sore of a barn the neighbor's down the cul-de-sac insist on housing their chickens in? Yeah, seems the home-owner's association finally got serious about matters and got a court order to form a mob and torch it. Judith thinks I'm awful for saying so, but I think we're all kind of hoping that malcontent son-of-a-you-know-what makes good on his promise to chain himself to the door of that barn so we have to burn him alive.
So hey, I know you're dying to hear more there Roger-Dodger, but if I don't quit all this gushing about the fabulous things we've got going on here, people might think I'm a bit full of myself.
Anyways, good catching up. We'll have to do it again sometime.
SHUT THE FUCK UP, JUDITH!
Talk to you soon.
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on November 19, 2012, 09:55:28 PM
Basically the delay in response is due to you asking the wrong question, Reverend. The real question to be asking me is "what's right with me."
List is TOO FUCKING SHORT.
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on November 19, 2012, 09:55:28 PM
And well, Rog-o,
You'll die for that.
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on November 19, 2012, 09:55:28 PM
I was gonna wait till we sent out the Miel family Holiday newsletter to update you on the exciting new developments around the old homestead, but, boy-howdy it seems you're forcing me to spill the beans early.
Now Judith is probably gonna kill me for letting you in on this juicy little morsel, Rogerino, but guess who's going to be spending a full week in Branso. That's right Big Rog, Aunt Lulu. Oh man, I don't think that little town's ready for her wild jokes and crazy dance moves. HAH!
Branson, MO? Is she MAD? What am I saying? OBVIOUSLY she's mad.
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on November 19, 2012, 09:55:28 PM
Oh, and speaking of Branson, it seems Trevor met fine young lady and if our Pastor approves they may be tying the knot next Spring. We're all a bit concerned because her family's Presbytarian, and well, you know how that goes, doncha Revster. Boy Howdy! But she's a great cook and they're both huge fans of the NBC Thursday night line-up, so I'm pretty sure they've got enough in common to get the Lord's Blessing.
The Lord only wants HIS CUT. The preacher is lying to you.
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on November 19, 2012, 09:55:28 PM
Oh, and speaking of the Lord's Blessing, Roggy, you know that eye-sore of a barn the neighbor's down the cul-de-sac insist on housing their chickens in? Yeah, seems the home-owner's association finally got serious about matters and got a court order to form a mob and torch it. Judith thinks I'm awful for saying so, but I think we're all kind of hoping that malcontent son-of-a-you-know-what makes good on his promise to chain himself to the door of that barn so we have to burn him alive.
Your neighbors sound like my kind of people.
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on November 19, 2012, 09:55:28 PM
So hey, I know you're dying to hear more there Roger-Dodger,
Yeah, that death threat above? Now it's gone to "mayhem". The OLD definition.
Quote from: NoLeDeMiel on November 19, 2012, 09:55:28 PM
but if I don't quit all this gushing about the fabulous things we've got going on here, people might think I'm a bit full of myself.
Anyways, good catching up. We'll have to do it again sometime.
SHUT THE FUCK UP, JUDITH!
Talk to you soon.
WHO THE FUCK IS JUDITH? Is she one of those great big fat spinster aunts that traumatizes every underage relative by wanting a GREAT BIG KISS with her HIDEOUSLY OVER-LIPSTICKED LIPS and smells like MOTHBALLS?
NOW YOU LISTEN, HERE GUV'NOR!
GROW A MUSTACHE AND DRINK SOME MOTHERFLIPPIN' EARL GREY
"HERESEY!" I will not hear it out!"
"I acknowledge that, Brother Captain. Humor me for a moment though, I was only making serious reply to our Brother Tech Marine's question."
"What possible explaination could justify such an assertion? All of us DAMNED? Our faith in the rightness of our course is so basic the Codex Astartes does not even see need to mention it. It is, indeed, the heart and sould of our founding as the Empire."
"Brother Howl, however he darkened the import of his words with blasts from that.... THING he has bolted to his backplate, made a valid point though. For all our valorous work, the Empire of man still wallows in base urges. The Eldar are consumed either be their perversion for purity or, well everything ELSE. The Ork have admirable spirit, but it is undirected and haphazard. The traitor Legions are getting over the repression we ourselves hold sacred, and the Necrons have NO idea what to do once they have fulfilled their purpose."
"So tell me, Brother Librarian, why do you seek to justify the words of a man who bolts a plasma blaster to his hindquarters to punctuate his logic?"
"Because there IS hope for us all, Brother Captain..."
"So you refute him?"
"In a way. It is just the amount of correction, to ourselves, to others, is so vast and fundamental, that I despair ever seeing it achieved."
"..."
"Indeed, the very pondering of it makes me agree with him. Why NOT annihilate the ignorant with searing bolts from my arse? They will hardly bring themselves round to the proper course. I may as well enjoy the ones who will, and laugh at the expense of the others."
"Go then. LEave me to my thoughts.
"Brother Captain"
The Librarian turned and left. Clad in his ornate armor, bedecked with the valors of a hundred campaigns (that meant.... what exactly?), the Captain stood and pondered.
As realization dawned he turned and howled to the battle-barge's now empty cooridor.
"FUNDAMENTAL? ASS CANNONS? YOU CHAOS SPAWNED PUNNER GET BACK HERE NOW!"
I'll tell you what's wrong with me.
I've been exposed to Richter's puns, at close range, for YEARS, now.
Do you really need more?
I wish my phone had been tagging my posts with "Sent from my smartphone"
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 19, 2012, 08:36:00 PM
I have an ASS CANNON, and it's pointed DIRECTLY AT YOU, you Goddamn crap-covered bonobo reject monkey-problems! Why, I'd rather SUCK VACUUM ON THE MOON than share real estate with your tick-infested hides, but GOD didn't GIVE ME A CHOICE! You make the fucking HAIR in my EARS itch, with your running around and hollering about shit that both DOESN'T MATTER and MAKES ME PUKE! And not just NORMAL puke, but that yellow stuff that looks like someone melted a LEMON MIRENGUE PIE! Yeah, I know I spelled that wrong, but it's that sort of NIT-PICKY BULLSHIT that proves that there's an EXPRESS LANE IN HELL, and it's NUT-TO-BUTT with people like YOU!
I could go on and on in this vein, but WHAT'S THE POINT? You'll still be Goddamn PRIMATES when I'm done, and all that will be accomplished is that the HATE AND LOATHING in my brain will make my blood pressure go up 20 points! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
TELL ME NOW, BEFORE I STOMP ON KITTENS!
Most promising thing I've seen out of humanity, really, since the domestication of celery.
Wat's rong? Ill tel u. My f4gg0t parents dint buy me an Amzn Kindl & a Nu iPhon. It cased soo much anxeity & depresed me. I trid 2 comit suic1de. They dont luv me at allllllllllllllllllllllll. I bet I dont get nuthin kewl this year eiter. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 19, 2012, 08:36:00 PM
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
If you mean 'us people' as in humans, nothing. I mean, right now we seem to be heading for extinction soon rather than in a long time, but there's nothing wrong with that.
If you mean me personally, it's a long story and you wouldn't believe me anyway. Also, I think you've said you don't care to hear it.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on November 20, 2012, 08:34:51 AM
Wat's rong? Ill tel u. My f4gg0t parents dint buy me an Amzn Kindl & a Nu iPhon. It cased soo much anxeity & depresed me. I trid 2 comit suic1de. They dont luv me at allllllllllllllllllllllll. I bet I dont get nuthin kewl this year eiter. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!
:lulz:
beautiful.
Quote from: The Waffler on November 19, 2012, 10:18:55 PM
NOW YOU LISTEN, HERE GUV'NOR!
GROW A MUSTACHE AND DRINK SOME MOTHERFLIPPIN' EARL GREY
I AM NOT HAVING THAT! First, TEA is for people that can't handle a little acid reflux from COFFEE. I hear them whining all the time "I puke up stomach acid all night, wahh!" SACK UP, ASSHOLES! Vomiting acid is a SMALL PRICE TO PAY for COFFEE GOODNESS and increased productivity. I've been drinking coffee since I was 8 years old and LOOK AT ME! I'M FINE!
Also, I can't grow a mustache or I look like a MALL COP. A FRENCH mall cop. So shut up.
Quote from: Luna on November 19, 2012, 11:45:10 PM
I'll tell you what's wrong with me.
I've been exposed to Richter's puns, at close range, for YEARS, now.
Do you really need more?
You get a pass. Richter will have to be dealt with.
Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on November 20, 2012, 07:52:13 AM
Most promising thing I've seen out of humanity, really, since the domestication of celery.
WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR
THAT? CELERY IS NOT FOOD. IT IS WHAT YOU FEED TO FOOD.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on November 20, 2012, 08:34:51 AM
Wat's rong? Ill tel u. My f4gg0t parents dint buy me an Amzn Kindl & a Nu iPhon. It cased soo much anxeity & depresed me. I trid 2 comit suic1de. They dont luv me at allllllllllllllllllllllll. I bet I dont get nuthin kewl this year eiter. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!
:crankey:
Quote from: holist on November 20, 2012, 03:12:06 PM
If you mean me personally, it's a long story and you wouldn't believe me anyway. Also, I think you've said you don't care to hear it.
That's the first correct thing you've said since you came to PD. Congratulations. Let's try to keep that up, shall we?
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on November 20, 2012, 08:34:51 AM
Wat's rong? Ill tel u. My f4gg0t parents dint buy me an Amzn Kindl & a Nu iPhon. It cased soo much anxeity & depresed me. I trid 2 comit suic1de. They dont luv me at allllllllllllllllllllllll. I bet I dont get nuthin kewl this year eiter. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!
That's good, except no whiny teen would bitch about not receiving an electronic device which would cause them to READ. These bloody kids want Twilight read TO them, for which they should be fed, toes-first, to packs of rabid, starved weasels.
Quote from: Luna on November 20, 2012, 04:29:53 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on November 20, 2012, 08:34:51 AM
Wat's rong? Ill tel u. My f4gg0t parents dint buy me an Amzn Kindl & a Nu iPhon. It cased soo much anxeity & depresed me. I trid 2 comit suic1de. They dont luv me at allllllllllllllllllllllll. I bet I dont get nuthin kewl this year eiter. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!
That's good, except no whiny teen would bitch about not receiving an electronic device which would cause them to READ. These bloody kids want Twilight read TO them, for which they should be fed, toes-first, to packs of rabid, starved weasels.
What?
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 20, 2012, 03:30:06 PM
Quote from: holist on November 20, 2012, 03:12:06 PM
If you mean me personally, it's a long story and you wouldn't believe me anyway. Also, I think you've said you don't care to hear it.
That's the first correct thing you've said since you came to PD. Congratulations. Let's try to keep that up, shall we?
TL; DR
:lulz:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 20, 2012, 04:30:26 PM
Quote from: Luna on November 20, 2012, 04:29:53 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on November 20, 2012, 08:34:51 AM
Wat's rong? Ill tel u. My f4gg0t parents dint buy me an Amzn Kindl & a Nu iPhon. It cased soo much anxeity & depresed me. I trid 2 comit suic1de. They dont luv me at allllllllllllllllllllllll. I bet I dont get nuthin kewl this year eiter. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!
That's good, except no whiny teen would bitch about not receiving an electronic device which would cause them to READ. These bloody kids want Twilight read TO them, for which they should be fed, toes-first, to packs of rabid, starved weasels.
What?
Truth. Overheard while shopping a few weeks ago. Girl wanted Mommy to buy her the Twilight books on her iPod so she could listen to them instead of having to read them, because reading "takes too long."
It occurs to me that people like Holist are the reason they invented Ritalin.
Quote from: Luna on November 20, 2012, 04:37:10 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 20, 2012, 04:30:26 PM
Quote from: Luna on November 20, 2012, 04:29:53 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on November 20, 2012, 08:34:51 AM
Wat's rong? Ill tel u. My f4gg0t parents dint buy me an Amzn Kindl & a Nu iPhon. It cased soo much anxeity & depresed me. I trid 2 comit suic1de. They dont luv me at allllllllllllllllllllllll. I bet I dont get nuthin kewl this year eiter. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!
That's good, except no whiny teen would bitch about not receiving an electronic device which would cause them to READ. These bloody kids want Twilight read TO them, for which they should be fed, toes-first, to packs of rabid, starved weasels.
What?
Truth. Overheard while shopping a few weeks ago. Girl wanted Mommy to buy her the Twilight books on her iPod so she could listen to them instead of having to read them, because reading "takes too long."
:tgrr:
Kick 'em back up into mommy and take mommy around to the clinic.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 20, 2012, 03:27:07 PM
SACK UP, ASSHOLES! Vomiting acid is a GODDAMN SUPER POWER!
Fixed that.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on November 20, 2012, 04:44:29 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 20, 2012, 03:27:07 PM
SACK UP, ASSHOLES! Vomiting acid is a GODDAMN SUPER POWER!
Fixed that.
Shit yeah.
TGRR,
Can etch his initials on the sidewalk after eating a donut.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 20, 2012, 04:37:52 PM
Quote from: Luna on November 20, 2012, 04:37:10 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 20, 2012, 04:30:26 PM
Quote from: Luna on November 20, 2012, 04:29:53 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on November 20, 2012, 08:34:51 AM
Wat's rong? Ill tel u. My f4gg0t parents dint buy me an Amzn Kindl & a Nu iPhon. It cased soo much anxeity & depresed me. I trid 2 comit suic1de. They dont luv me at allllllllllllllllllllllll. I bet I dont get nuthin kewl this year eiter. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!
That's good, except no whiny teen would bitch about not receiving an electronic device which would cause them to READ. These bloody kids want Twilight read TO them, for which they should be fed, toes-first, to packs of rabid, starved weasels.
What?
Truth. Overheard while shopping a few weeks ago. Girl wanted Mommy to buy her the Twilight books on her iPod so she could listen to them instead of having to read them, because reading "takes too long."
:tgrr:
Kick 'em back up into mommy and take mommy around to the clinic.
She bred and raised the little shit, it's HER problem.
Quote from: Luna on November 20, 2012, 04:59:19 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 20, 2012, 04:37:52 PM
Quote from: Luna on November 20, 2012, 04:37:10 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 20, 2012, 04:30:26 PM
Quote from: Luna on November 20, 2012, 04:29:53 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on November 20, 2012, 08:34:51 AM
Wat's rong? Ill tel u. My f4gg0t parents dint buy me an Amzn Kindl & a Nu iPhon. It cased soo much anxeity & depresed me. I trid 2 comit suic1de. They dont luv me at allllllllllllllllllllllll. I bet I dont get nuthin kewl this year eiter. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!
That's good, except no whiny teen would bitch about not receiving an electronic device which would cause them to READ. These bloody kids want Twilight read TO them, for which they should be fed, toes-first, to packs of rabid, starved weasels.
What?
Truth. Overheard while shopping a few weeks ago. Girl wanted Mommy to buy her the Twilight books on her iPod so she could listen to them instead of having to read them, because reading "takes too long."
:tgrr:
Kick 'em back up into mommy and take mommy around to the clinic.
She bred and raised the little shit, it's HER problem.
If you have to listen to shit like that at random, it's YOUR problem.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 20, 2012, 05:01:09 PM
Quote from: Luna on November 20, 2012, 04:59:19 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 20, 2012, 04:37:52 PM
Quote from: Luna on November 20, 2012, 04:37:10 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 20, 2012, 04:30:26 PM
Quote from: Luna on November 20, 2012, 04:29:53 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on November 20, 2012, 08:34:51 AM
Wat's rong? Ill tel u. My f4gg0t parents dint buy me an Amzn Kindl & a Nu iPhon. It cased soo much anxeity & depresed me. I trid 2 comit suic1de. They dont luv me at allllllllllllllllllllllll. I bet I dont get nuthin kewl this year eiter. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!
That's good, except no whiny teen would bitch about not receiving an electronic device which would cause them to READ. These bloody kids want Twilight read TO them, for which they should be fed, toes-first, to packs of rabid, starved weasels.
What?
Truth. Overheard while shopping a few weeks ago. Girl wanted Mommy to buy her the Twilight books on her iPod so she could listen to them instead of having to read them, because reading "takes too long."
:tgrr:
Kick 'em back up into mommy and take mommy around to the clinic.
She bred and raised the little shit, it's HER problem.
If you have to listen to shit like that at random, it's YOUR problem.
True, that.
I used to LIKE kids, I swear.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 20, 2012, 04:37:20 PM
It occurs to me that people like Holist are the reason they invented Ritalin.
Quote from: Wikipedia
Methylphenidate was first synthesized in 1944, and was identified as a stimulant in 1954.
Methylphenidate was synthesized by Ciba (now Novartis) chemist Leandro Panizzon. His wife, Marguerite, had low blood pressure and would take the drug as a stimulant before playing tennis. He named the substance Ritaline, after his wife's nickname, Rita.
I don't even play tennis. Table-tennis, yes, but my blood pressure is plenty high enough for that.
It seems I'll eventually get the entire DSM IV thrown at me... what are you, a psychologist? :lulz:
What's wrong!?!?!? What's wrong is that I'm sitting here at work like a jackass when I should be at home planning the most efficient routes between the stores with the biggest sales on Friday, triangulating where I can find the highest concentration of savings. I should be working on my cardio and learning store layouts so I can weave in and out of all those other assholes, scooping up every item on my list - I'll figure out who they're for later, just look at the savings!
What's wrong is that my boss won't advance my pay for the next several weeks and hasn't he ever heard of a Thanksgiving bonus? Doesn't he KNOW I have shopping to do in a few days? If I don't get that 60" 3D TV Friday, I'll have to pay an extra $10 when they go back to...pfft..normal prices. I don't have time for this *work* stuff now, it's the holidays! Geez. What's wrong?!?! I can only find FIVE stations playing Christmas music now. What a bunch of Debbie Downers everyone else is. What's wrong is that they keep interrupting TBS's special showing of The Santa Clause 5 with commercials showing pictures of starving children in Africa and others asking me to donate to local homeless shelters. How depressing! I can't look at that stuff while I'm watching a movie celebrating the joys of presents.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go practice my "flu" voice. I simply don't have enough time to join my family for Thanksgiving dinner if I'm going to be the first person camped out at Best Buy on Friday.
WHAT'S WRONG
MY SUPPERATING WOUND IS CLOSING UP, HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO SCARE CHILDREN IN LINE AT THE GROCERY STORE NOW?
Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on November 21, 2012, 03:44:35 AM
WHAT'S WRONG
MY SUPPERATING WOUND IS CLOSING UP, HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO SCARE CHILDREN IN LINE AT THE GROCERY STORE NOW?
:lulz:
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 20, 2012, 03:28:34 PM
Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on November 20, 2012, 07:52:13 AM
Most promising thing I've seen out of humanity, really, since the domestication of celery.
WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT? CELERY IS NOT FOOD. IT IS WHAT YOU FEED TO FOOD.
I have 5 words for you:
ANTS ON A LOG, MOTHERFUCKER!
Quote from: Net on November 21, 2012, 04:10:10 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on November 20, 2012, 03:28:34 PM
Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on November 20, 2012, 07:52:13 AM
Most promising thing I've seen out of humanity, really, since the domestication of celery.
WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT? CELERY IS NOT FOOD. IT IS WHAT YOU FEED TO FOOD.
I have 5 words for you:
ANTS ON A LOG, MOTHERFUCKER!
HAVE YOU BEEN LOOKING IN MY TOILET?
Quote from: The All-Seeing Waffle on November 19, 2012, 09:31:05 PM
THE HAIR IN YOUR EARS ITCHES BECAUSE IT FEELS LONELY. GROW A BEARD, ROGER.
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/t31.0-8/12747540_1054787004572955_802576668911532416_o.jpg)
So has the itching stopped?