LMNO has himself assassinated once a year, just to stay in practice.
Cain once strangled Manchester. This is NOT an obscure sports analogy.
ECH's hair took over in a violent coup in 2008.
Nigel has a bullet with a name on it. That name is "Portland". This is similar to the bullet that hit JFK and seemingly everyone else in Dallas, but is bigger, and has hooks and barbs all over it.
Twid HAS finished the webcomic, but it's fatally funny, so he's sparing us.
I am currently drinking the Worst Cup of Coffee in the World.
Freeky has a poison stinger on each elbow, which makes her version of "nudge nudge" MUCH more interesting.
RWHN's toten animal is a Sleestak.
Hoopla has a part-time job making counterfit merkins.
Pixie keeps several types of poisonous insects in her jacket, for when people crowd her. She saves the tarantula hawk for the handsey ones.
Triple Zero is 96.37% zinc. The rest is made up of pork rinds and sawdust.
Trying to think of how to make it less funny. I cant have you all dying on me.
Lenin McCarthy only has one organ and is the legitimate offspring of both the revolutionary and the senator.
Sita is the world's only concert pugilist.
Aucoq can speak to chickens but only on the harvest moon, when they whisper the knowledge of worms and grubs.
Coyote was born in Pangea.
Ratatosk's teeth are made entirely from asbestos.
Net crochets blankets for homeless children, from his excess chest hair.
Aini really is female.
Garbo once painted an entire house using only brains. She claims this is because the store was out of "purple".
ECH once drank an entire bottle of Sunny D. He claims this is because the store was out of "purple".
Hoops once destroyed every fake'n'bake tannery in the country. The loss to the industry was immense, totaling $40 million dollars.
Roger attracts all that crazy with cat pheremones. He rubs them on his neck and ears every day before he leaves for work.
Phox is the reason Latin went extinct. She also wrote the Polybius Square and the Voynich Manuscript.
Net and Waffles really do capture the soul of their subjects with their cameras. And there's no getting it back. Sorry.
Suu once decorated the inside of her home with the piked skulls of her neighbors.
Richter made a batch of booze so strong, it melted the container, the floor, and his downstairs neighbors' cat.
LMNO solved Fermat's Equation. ECH one-upped him by solving Tourette's Equation.
Leln once stopped an Illuminati sex orgy with a disdainful stare. They have yet to reconvene.
Roger has never worna t shirt in his life. Let that sink in, and review the pics archives again.
RWHN once played a riff so brutal on the slidewhistle that the govenor of maine became incontinent.
Garbo once made a fully functional gundam model. In 1 100th scale. It got jostled and shot a molasses tank across the country.
GARBO can measure any distance to the 14th decimal place just by looking, but only in units of "leagues."
Nigel would have you believe that she cans "fruit preserves." You would be a fool to accept this at face value.
Cain has direct personal control over the stock market, but only by playing a harmonica. The results are... imprecise.
Roger is actually the normal one.
Richter has the periodic table of the elements tattooed on his scrotum, "for reference."
Suu uses shrunken heads as pincushions. Who's heads they were is considered a state secret.
Burns vibrates at exactly 60 Hz under the light of a full moon.
Payne once excommunicated himself on a technicality, but it got sorted out. Still hasn't apologized though.
TGRR is secretly a master kazooist.
Doktor Blight beat up the state of Ohio to steal all of their letter "A"s to replace the ones that his fellow Bostonians indiscriminately used up with their funny accents.
Cainad once conducted the philharmonic pops orchestra with his clavicles alone. Seven women in the audience divorced their husbands on the spot to elope with him.
P3ntagr4m has been mastering his Kayaking for the purposes of permanent colonization of the north pacific gyre. the recent rash of beached whales are refugees fleeing the army of paddlers at his disposal.
Waffle once used to be an adventurer like you until he took an Iron in the knee.
Under the influences of a properly constructed disco ball, LMNO falls into a dance much like a honey bee, which Scientists have discovered leads to the buried lake "Vodkavostok" where his people emerged all those years ago.
Nigel once ran a conflict resolution agency that won the industry's highest award for her innovative use of pithing needles.
Roger has in his sleeping quarters a bust of Clemens whose head may be tilted back to reveal a large red button. it is reported by one of our agents that when depressed, the ear canals of 17 congressmen prolapsed. the only commonality that investigators have discovered is that these were the only members of our legislature that voted yes to increasing tariffs on anal depilatory creams.
We all know that Kai studies insects... what most people don't know is that Kai is actually the Queen.
Sita used to get out more but after her unique method of locomotion decimated the local population base she decided to spend more time at home... at least, until it rebounds.
The real reason LMNO visits Montana every year is so he can regurgitate the meaty remains of office drones into the waiting crops of his growing litter of shark-bears.
Nephew Twiddleson claims to be a musician, but actually he's a rogue genetic engineer using highly illegal experimental radiation therapy to try to keep the rapidly mutating DNA of Bostonians under check.
It's not working.
LMNO was not born, but hatched after his cocoon landed on Earth. The nest has been preserved as an historic site, known as Chicxulub Crater.
Iptuous's teeth are as hard as diamonds, and the world's greatest treasure is hidden in one of his molars.
ECH once built himself a houseboat, The Atlantis. Then one night, the party got a little out of control, and the rest is history.
P3nT4gR4m's liver produces a unique extract that has been refined for commercial use. This is the reason fast-food hamburgers can be left out seemingly indefinitely without rotting.
Waffle Iron is actually the one who decides what colors are "in" this season, and no one has been able to change this.
Kai never touches the ground: he always floats exactly one millimeter above whatever he's standing on.
Phox is the one who stole the colors from the dead pixels on your screen. What they are used for, nobody knows.
Mangrove's customer base has exploded since he has figured out how to do Shiatsu with his nose, and ONLY his nose.
LMNO is never that which hides the truth.
LMNO is the truth that hides the fact that there is none.
LMNO is true.
Quote from: Curdlefish on December 04, 2012, 02:08:33 PM
LMNO is never that which hides the truth.
LMNO is the truth that hides the fact that there is none.
LMNO is true.
LMNO is NOT the Truth. He is the cough before the fib, the "tell" in the other player's behavior, and that horrible and cool feeling you get when
you got away with it.
Dimo is your grandmother's disapproving eye.
Quote from: Doktor D. Jennifer Phox on December 04, 2012, 12:47:20 AM
Doktor Blight beat up the state of Ohio to steal all of their letter "A"s to replace the ones that his fellow Bostonians indiscriminately used up with their funny accents.
:lulz:
Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on December 04, 2012, 02:12:58 AM
Nephew Twiddleson claims to be a musician, but actually he's a rogue genetic engineer using highly illegal experimental radiation therapy to try to keep the rapidly mutating DNA of Bostonians under check.
It's not working.
I've narrowed down some of the problem. The sunlight is all wrong here.
Dimo is actually a vigilante. A very effective and subtle one. That's why you never hear anything about West Warwick.
Regret is keeping Triple Zero in a state of suspended animation, for reasons we can only guess. This is why we haven't heard from him.
Way back when, Twid stole Mjöllnir and made a guitar out of it.
Valhall is now populated by Jotni and deceased boy band members.
Quote from: The Waffler on December 04, 2012, 04:07:22 PM
Way back when, Twid stole Mjöllnir and made a guitar out of it.
Valhall is now populated by Jotni and deceased boy band members.
And if you don't die in a rap battle, you don't get to go.
Quote from: The Waffler on December 04, 2012, 04:07:22 PM
Way back when, Twid stole Mjöllnir and made a guitar out of it.
Valhall is now populated by Jotni and deceased boy band members.
I accept this compliment.
Waffle Iron doesn't even like waffles. They don't contain enough whale meat.
Waffle Iron's not actually Norwegian. He's the last survivor of a lost civilization from the Arctic ice cap. Due to melting, he's thawed out. He wandered until he found a land of attractive women with names like Heidi.
WHO WON? WHOSE NEXT?
No one will enter battle raps with Dimo anymore, not since he demolished the ceiling at one event, causing the building to collapse.
Squiddy will cause the boa constrictor population to drop, the moment she gets around to it. How, we don't know. It's probably best not *to* know.
Nigel will cause the erotica singularity.
Vex is the reason why Superstition highway runs through a pentagram of Outback Steakhouses. He giggles when he drives through it.
Cain is just waiting for the right time.
The reason Cramulus doesn't post here anymore is because he had to return to the ocean soon after he buried his eggs.
Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on December 04, 2012, 04:25:16 PM
The reason Cramulus doesn't post here anymore is because he had to return to the ocean soon after he buried his eggs.
:spittake:
It was eight years ago that Cain did a dance that ended in a crotch grab toe spin that is estimated to finally end on the December solstice coming up.
Nephew Twiddleton lives in a house constructed entirely of precious moments porcelain figures, yet not a single precious moment has ever transpired within those confines.
Eater of Clowns eats by regurgitating his stomach much like a star fish, with the significant difference that it is fully ambulatory... and it's standing right behind you.
Ippie's choice of facial hair is no fashion statement. A mad scientist from the 19th century, he was able to gain immortality- at a cost. He is unable to regrow hair or even pull off mitosis.
Telarus gave up virtual world building in favor of real world building, drawing upon the unique reality scripting language developed and used by hirley0. The pair daily rewrite your life with such seamlessness that you never notice. You can call them gods, and many have, but Telarus doesn't like the comparison, stating "gods are too obvious."
Stellz is the reason for Amarillo.
Freeky is why there's no law west of Pecos.
The MGT often jokes about PMing hirley0, but never would for fear of a reply.
Rumor has it that if you merged all of Hirley0's threads by date instead of subject, the entire "history" of the next 50 years would be displayed.
Cainad once won a staring contest with the sphinx. This caused a ripple in the space-time continuum, which in turn caused a drunk driver to drive his car into, and destroy, the world's most isolated tree in the sahara in 1973