Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2012, 04:57:32 PM

Title: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2012, 04:57:32 PM
http://m.apnews.com/ap/db_268802/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=sVsaSMBM

Title: Re: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: Elder Iptuous on December 10, 2012, 05:50:34 PM
i'm  guessing a marketing guy was given a dare. "make 'this coffee tastes like elephant shit' into a compliment".
now someone owes him five bucks.

Title: Re: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: AFK on December 10, 2012, 06:08:17 PM
DO NOT WANT!
Title: Re: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 11, 2012, 12:27:12 AM
First weasel shit coffee, then elephant shit coffee.

People are fucking weird.
Title: Re: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: Suu on December 11, 2012, 01:53:10 AM
but...but...but...

WHY
Title: Re: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: AFK on December 11, 2012, 02:54:22 AM
They should call it Junk from the Trunk, though, since it is an elephant, that might be confusing.
Title: Re: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: Juana on December 11, 2012, 02:56:53 AM
I have totally eaten things for the purposes of having a funny story to tell later, but WHAT. NO. That is not food!
Title: Re: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: Pæs on December 11, 2012, 03:02:45 AM
THEY HAD ME AT "Think of the elephant as the animal kingdom's equivalent of a slow cooker" BUT REALLY SOLD IT WITH "As far as we can tell there is definitely no harm to the elephants."
Title: Re: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: Elder Iptuous on December 11, 2012, 03:10:16 AM
their urine could be sold as Elephant Bull Energy Drink.
Title: Re: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 11, 2012, 05:32:28 AM
I was reassured that this is a great product and a wonderful idea for those poor elephants on that nature reserve because they tested it on zoo elephants first. That shows they really care about the animals and want to work with them, not just take shameless advantage of the creatures.
Title: Re: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: Sita on December 11, 2012, 11:29:55 AM
I wonder who the hell was the first to think "Fuck, that elephant ate all our coffee beans. Guess I should follow it around and see if there's any salvageable in it's poop"
And then who was the first poor soul to drink it.
Title: Re: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: AFK on December 11, 2012, 11:46:50 AM
Someone who ran out of Jenkem?
Title: Re: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 11, 2012, 04:39:56 PM
Quote from: Sita on December 11, 2012, 11:29:55 AM
I wonder who the hell was the first to think "Fuck, that elephant ate all our coffee beans. Guess I should follow it around and see if there's any salvageable in it's poop"
And then who was the first poor soul to drink it.

Well... coffee IS pretty addictive.
Title: Re: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: LMNO on December 12, 2012, 06:35:04 PM
Aaaaaaand I'm done.  Warning:  Poe's Law ahead.


I'm a home roaster and I'm noticing in the newpapers that animal poop coffee is really popular and expensive. I've been growing yellow bourbon arabica in my greenhouse for a couple of years and it's finally starting to produce quality cherry. I will personally ingest this cherry and mimic the "kopi luwak" process. I will roast this coffee so that it's ready to brew, in time for the holidays. I will be able to harvest only a couple of pounds of this special kind of coffee so act now before it's too late.

I'm 47, healthy, and will guarantee you'll like my kopi luwak style coffees. Fecal specimens available for inspection upon request. (http://jezebel.com/5967769/someone-from-portland-wants-to-sell-you-shit-from-their-butt-and-then-you-can-drink-it)
Title: Re: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 12, 2012, 07:00:51 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 12, 2012, 06:35:04 PM
Aaaaaaand I'm done.  Warning:  Poe's Law ahead.


I'm a home roaster and I'm noticing in the newpapers that animal poop coffee is really popular and expensive. I've been growing yellow bourbon arabica in my greenhouse for a couple of years and it's finally starting to produce quality cherry. I will personally ingest this cherry and mimic the "kopi luwak" process. I will roast this coffee so that it's ready to brew, in time for the holidays. I will be able to harvest only a couple of pounds of this special kind of coffee so act now before it's too late.

I'm 47, healthy, and will guarantee you'll like my kopi luwak style coffees. Fecal specimens available for inspection upon request. (http://jezebel.com/5967769/someone-from-portland-wants-to-sell-you-shit-from-their-butt-and-then-you-can-drink-it)


:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: Thank you, Portland!
Title: Re: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: Elder Iptuous on December 12, 2012, 07:08:02 PM
"As far as we can tell there is definitely no harm to the Portlandians."
Title: Re: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 12, 2012, 07:09:58 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 12, 2012, 06:35:04 PM
Aaaaaaand I'm done.  Warning:  Poe's Law ahead.


I'm a home roaster and I'm noticing in the newpapers that animal poop coffee is really popular and expensive. I've been growing yellow bourbon arabica in my greenhouse for a couple of years and it's finally starting to produce quality cherry. I will personally ingest this cherry and mimic the "kopi luwak" process. I will roast this coffee so that it's ready to brew, in time for the holidays. I will be able to harvest only a couple of pounds of this special kind of coffee so act now before it's too late.

I'm 47, healthy, and will guarantee you'll like my kopi luwak style coffees. Fecal specimens available for inspection upon request. (http://jezebel.com/5967769/someone-from-portland-wants-to-sell-you-shit-from-their-butt-and-then-you-can-drink-it)

:crackhead: :vom:
Title: Re: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 12, 2012, 07:17:49 PM

QuoteOh man, I thought Jezebel was finally doing a piece on the fecal transplant market in Portland. Yes, it is a real thing.

:horrormirth:
Title: Re: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: Anna Mae Bollocks on December 13, 2012, 12:00:48 AM
Quote from: hølist on December 12, 2012, 07:00:51 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 12, 2012, 06:35:04 PM
Aaaaaaand I'm done.  Warning:  Poe's Law ahead.


I'm a home roaster and I'm noticing in the newpapers that animal poop coffee is really popular and expensive. I've been growing yellow bourbon arabica in my greenhouse for a couple of years and it's finally starting to produce quality cherry. I will personally ingest this cherry and mimic the "kopi luwak" process. I will roast this coffee so that it's ready to brew, in time for the holidays. I will be able to harvest only a couple of pounds of this special kind of coffee so act now before it's too late.

I'm 47, healthy, and will guarantee you'll like my kopi luwak style coffees. Fecal specimens available for inspection upon request. (http://jezebel.com/5967769/someone-from-portland-wants-to-sell-you-shit-from-their-butt-and-then-you-can-drink-it)


:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: Thank you, Portland!


Huff Post. Also with pic. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/12/human-poop-coffee-kopi-luwak_n_2285038.html?utm_hp_ref=food&ir=Food
Title: Re: Here's your morning coffee, you filthy animals.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 16, 2012, 09:55:16 PM
The price is the best part.