On the twelfth day of Nigel my true hate gave to me,
Twelve empty sacks of weed,
Eleven cops arresting,
Ten Occupiers stinking,
Nine Bryan Adams CD'S,
Eight noobies howlin,
Seven pinks a shopping,
Six boybands singing,
FIVE GOLDEN SHOWERS,
Four missing teeth,
Three tarot cards of death,
Two pails of turds,
A subpoena and a bucket of pee.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2012, 09:32:07 PM
On the twelfth day of Nigel my true hate gave to me,
Twelve empty sacks of weed,
Eleven cops arresting,
Ten Occupiers stinking,
Nine Bryan Adams CD'S,
Eight noobies howlin,
Seven pinks a shopping,
Six boybands singing,
FIVE GOLDEN SHOWERS,
Four missing teeth,
Three tarot cards of death,
Two pails of turds,
A subpoena and a bucket of pee.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
This is so
evocative. It makes me want to record it.
Quote from: hølist on December 10, 2012, 09:43:19 PM
This is so evocative. It makes me want to record it.
I'M FEELING ALL CHRISTMAS-Y.
Also, I'm done with my part of the project, I think. I'll zap it to you this evening.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2012, 09:45:03 PM
Quote from: hølist on December 10, 2012, 09:43:19 PM
This is so evocative. It makes me want to record it.
I'M FEELING ALL CHRISTMAS-Y.
Also, I'm done with my part of the project, I think. I'll zap it to you this evening.
SQUEEEEEE!!!!
Good King Weltbürger looked out,
On the plains of Belgium,
Twisted bodies all about,
Those intact seen seldom,
Swiftly struck her blade that night,
Mercilessly flensing,
Blood so red and snow so white,
Nigelmas commencing.
Quote from: Pæs on December 10, 2012, 10:04:36 PM
Good King Weltbürger looked out,
On the plains of Belgium,
Twisted bodies all about,
Those intact seen seldom,
Swiftly struck her blade that night,
Mercilessly flensing,
Blood so red and snow so white,
Nigelmas commencing.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
We three spags are fleeing in fear,
Shit our pants when Nigel is near,
Cannot run or dig or jump,
Far enough from here.
This really makes me want to record an album. A whole one.
I'm suddenly filled with the spirit of Nigelmas!
Bitter and pungent and makes your tongue go numb, like biting into a clove.
Ever been to a charity hospital We used to sing this at Ben's Knob in Houston:
On my fifth day at Ben Taub the good nurse said to me
"We looooost your tessst resulllts
Have a cup of coffee
Please have a seat
There went the doctor
It'll just be a little bit more".
Look to the sky, way up on high
There in the night stars are now right.
Eons have passed: now then at last
Prison walls break, Nigel's awake!
She will rise tall: mankind will learn
New kinds of fear when she is here.
She will reclaim all in her name;
Hopes turn to black when she says hi
Ignorant fools, mankind now rules
Where they ruled then: it's hers again
Stars brightly burning, boiling and churning
Bode a returning season of doom
Scary scary scary scary Nigel
Very very very scary Nigel
Up from the Bridge, from Portland town
Down from the sky, She's everywhere
She will return: mankind will learn
New kinds of fear when she is here
Look to the sky, way up on high
There in the night stars are now right.
Eons have passed: now then at last
Prison walls break, Nigel's awake!
Madness will reign, terror and pain
Woes without end where she extends.
Ignorant fools, mankind now rules
Where they ruled then: it's hers again
Stars brightly burning, boiling and churning
Bode a returning season of doom
Scary scary scary scary Nigel
Very very very scary Nigel
Up from the Bridge, from Portland town
Down from the sky, She's everywhere
Fear
(Look to the sky, way up on high
There in the night stars now are right)
Nigel is here.
Born an Empress on Portland's plain
Gold I bring to crown Her again
Empress forever, ceasing never
Over us all to reign
O Nigel of wonder, Nigel of night
Nigel with royal flensing knife bright
Nor'westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light
Satya Sai Baba* to offer have I
Incense owns a Deity nigh
Prayer and praising, all men raising
Worship Her, Empress most high
O Nigel of wonder, Nigel of night
Nigel with royal flensing knife bright
Nor'westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light
Booze is mine, its bitter perfume
Breathes of life of gathering gloom
Suffering, sighing, bleeding, dying
Sealed in the stone-cold tomb
O Nigel of wonder, Nigel of night
Nigel with royal flensing knife bright
Nor'westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light
Glorious now behold Her arise
Queen, Dark Empress and Sacrifice
Alleluia, O SHI-
Earth to heav'n replies
O Nigel of wonder, Nigel of night
Nigel with royal flensing knife bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light
*The Nag Champa in the blue box from the convenience store, it's all I can find here.
Yeah. We're doomed.
Oh Sweet and Sour Christchex, I think I need a album full of Nigelmas music.
So do I. These are amazing! :lulz:
I would save it for next year when I am forced to go a Unit holiday party, so I can ask that they play music that part of my faith's holiday tradition.
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 12:41:05 AM
I would save it for next year when I am forced to go a Unit holiday party, so I can ask that they play music that part of my faith's holiday tradition.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: hølist on December 11, 2012, 01:19:15 AM
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 12:41:05 AM
I would save it for next year when I am forced to go a Unit holiday party, so I can ask that they play music that part of my faith's holiday tradition.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
I think I will also bring a bucket of entrails and declare them to the traditional holiday decorations when my Unit asks for donations of decorations.
Coyote, not happy that he got volunteered to decorate a Christmas party.
Jingle Bells
Santa smells
Snow lays on the grass
Nigel took the Christmas Tree
and shoved it up your ass!
:lulz:
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 01:36:38 AM
Quote from: hølist on December 11, 2012, 01:19:15 AM
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 12:41:05 AM
I would save it for next year when I am forced to go a Unit holiday party, so I can ask that they play music that part of my faith's holiday tradition.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
I think I will also bring a bucket of entrails and declare them to the traditional holiday decorations when my Unit asks for donations of decorations.
Coyote, not happy that he got volunteered to decorate a Christmas party.
You could decorate with the traditional NW fishing nets and plastic crabs.
Quote from: hølist on December 11, 2012, 03:35:35 AM
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 01:36:38 AM
Quote from: hølist on December 11, 2012, 01:19:15 AM
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 12:41:05 AM
I would save it for next year when I am forced to go a Unit holiday party, so I can ask that they play music that part of my faith's holiday tradition.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
I think I will also bring a bucket of entrails and declare them to the traditional holiday decorations when my Unit asks for donations of decorations.
Coyote, not happy that he got volunteered to decorate a Christmas party.
You could decorate with the traditional NW fishing nets and plastic crabs.
"Those aren't traditional decorations..."
"THE DARK EMPRESS COMMANDED ME TO DECORATE THUSLY!!!!! I DO NOT WANT TO DECORATE THE THRONE OF SKULLS!!!!!"
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 03:43:06 AM
Quote from: hølist on December 11, 2012, 03:35:35 AM
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 01:36:38 AM
Quote from: hølist on December 11, 2012, 01:19:15 AM
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 12:41:05 AM
I would save it for next year when I am forced to go a Unit holiday party, so I can ask that they play music that part of my faith's holiday tradition.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
I think I will also bring a bucket of entrails and declare them to the traditional holiday decorations when my Unit asks for donations of decorations.
Coyote, not happy that he got volunteered to decorate a Christmas party.
You could decorate with the traditional NW fishing nets and plastic crabs.
"Those aren't traditional decorations..."
"THE DARK EMPRESS COMMANDED ME TO DECORATE THUSLY!!!!! I DO NOT WANT TO DECORATE THE THRONE OF SKULLS!!!!!"
:lulz:
Quote from: hølist on December 11, 2012, 04:21:10 AM
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 03:43:06 AM
Quote from: hølist on December 11, 2012, 03:35:35 AM
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 01:36:38 AM
Quote from: hølist on December 11, 2012, 01:19:15 AM
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 12:41:05 AM
I would save it for next year when I am forced to go a Unit holiday party, so I can ask that they play music that part of my faith's holiday tradition.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
I think I will also bring a bucket of entrails and declare them to the traditional holiday decorations when my Unit asks for donations of decorations.
Coyote, not happy that he got volunteered to decorate a Christmas party.
You could decorate with the traditional NW fishing nets and plastic crabs.
"Those aren't traditional decorations..."
"THE DARK EMPRESS COMMANDED ME TO DECORATE THUSLY!!!!! I DO NOT WANT TO DECORATE THE THRONE OF SKULLS!!!!!"
:lulz:
'Why am I recieving this counseling statement?" 'For your behavior at the holiday party." "So I'm being persecuted for my beliefs?" 'Says here you are a Wiccan, so no?" "I'm afraid to say master sergeant, but my religion isn't listed, and I sure as hell didn't want to be listed as Christian-non denomination. So, no, I'm not a Wiccan, which by the way has a multitude of sects, circles and covens, all with their own different beliefs, rituals, and manner of celebrating yearly festivals. Furthermore, I find being ordered to engage in holiday festivities under the guise of a series of mandatory briefings to be highly offensive, especially with all the Christian holiday music and bastardized icons of pagan faiths."
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 04:42:40 AM
Quote from: hølist on December 11, 2012, 04:21:10 AM
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 03:43:06 AM
Quote from: hølist on December 11, 2012, 03:35:35 AM
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 01:36:38 AM
Quote from: hølist on December 11, 2012, 01:19:15 AM
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 12:41:05 AM
I would save it for next year when I am forced to go a Unit holiday party, so I can ask that they play music that part of my faith's holiday tradition.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
I think I will also bring a bucket of entrails and declare them to the traditional holiday decorations when my Unit asks for donations of decorations.
Coyote, not happy that he got volunteered to decorate a Christmas party.
You could decorate with the traditional NW fishing nets and plastic crabs.
"Those aren't traditional decorations..."
"THE DARK EMPRESS COMMANDED ME TO DECORATE THUSLY!!!!! I DO NOT WANT TO DECORATE THE THRONE OF SKULLS!!!!!"
:lulz:
'Why am I recieving this counseling statement?" 'For your behavior at the holiday party." "So I'm being persecuted for my beliefs?" 'Says here you are a Wiccan, so no?" "I'm afraid to say master sergeant, but my religion isn't listed, and I sure as hell didn't want to be listed as Christian-non denomination. So, no, I'm not a Wiccan, which by the way has a multitude of sects, circles and covens, all with their own different beliefs, rituals, and manner of celebrating yearly festivals. Furthermore, I find being ordered to engage in holiday festivities under the guise of a series of mandatory briefings to be highly offensive, especially with all the Christian holiday music and bastardized icons of pagan faiths."
DO IT! :lol:
Quote from: hølist on December 11, 2012, 05:03:32 AM
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 04:42:40 AM
Quote from: hølist on December 11, 2012, 04:21:10 AM
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 03:43:06 AM
Quote from: hølist on December 11, 2012, 03:35:35 AM
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 01:36:38 AM
Quote from: hølist on December 11, 2012, 01:19:15 AM
Quote from: H0list on December 11, 2012, 12:41:05 AM
I would save it for next year when I am forced to go a Unit holiday party, so I can ask that they play music that part of my faith's holiday tradition.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
I think I will also bring a bucket of entrails and declare them to the traditional holiday decorations when my Unit asks for donations of decorations.
Coyote, not happy that he got volunteered to decorate a Christmas party.
You could decorate with the traditional NW fishing nets and plastic crabs.
"Those aren't traditional decorations..."
"THE DARK EMPRESS COMMANDED ME TO DECORATE THUSLY!!!!! I DO NOT WANT TO DECORATE THE THRONE OF SKULLS!!!!!"
:lulz:
'Why am I recieving this counseling statement?" 'For your behavior at the holiday party." "So I'm being persecuted for my beliefs?" 'Says here you are a Wiccan, so no?" "I'm afraid to say master sergeant, but my religion isn't listed, and I sure as hell didn't want to be listed as Christian-non denomination. So, no, I'm not a Wiccan, which by the way has a multitude of sects, circles and covens, all with their own different beliefs, rituals, and manner of celebrating yearly festivals. Furthermore, I find being ordered to engage in holiday festivities under the guise of a series of mandatory briefings to be highly offensive, especially with all the Christian holiday music and bastardized icons of pagan faiths."
DO IT! :lol:
Sadly I have to wait until next year. :sad:
Outstanding! I'm almost afraid to go to sleep tonight.
I saw three drunks come stumbling in
On Nigel day, on Nigel day
And one went home without his skin
On Nigel's day in the morning.
And what to do with the remaining two?
On Nigel day, on Nigel day
They scream until their faces are blue
On Nigel's day in the morning.
The bridges sing their lonely song
On Nigel day, on Nigel day
They have no sense of right and wrong
On Nigel's day in the morning.
It echoes all around the world
On Nigel day, on Nigel day
And summons back the Grabby Girls
On Nigel's day in the morning.
Meet Mr. Scratch and Mr. Chop
On Nigel day, on Nigel day
There is no way that it will stop
On Nigel's day in the morning.
Off to the city which we are drawn
On Nigel day, on Nigel day
For there is naught, save Tucson
On Nigel's day in the mooooooooorning!
:lulz:
LMNO wins the thread.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 11, 2012, 01:13:32 PM
I saw three drunks come stumbling in
On Nigel day, on Nigel day
And one went home without his skin
On Nigel's day in the morning.
And what to do with the remaining two?
On Nigel day, on Nigel day
They scream until their faces are blue
On Nigel's day in the morning.
The bridges sing their lonely song
On Nigel day, on Nigel day
They have no sense of right and wrong
On Nigel's day in the morning.
It echoes all around the world
On Nigel day, on Nigel day
And summons back the Grabby Girls
On Nigel's day in the morning.
Meet Mr. Scratch and Mr. Chop
On Nigel day, on Nigel day
There is no way that it will stop
On Nigel's day in the morning.
Off to the city which we are drawn
On Nigel day, on Nigel day
For there is naught, save Tucson
On Nigel's day in the mooooooooorning!
Oh, WOW. :eek:
This is AMAZING! :lol:
Occasionally, I am inspired.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 11, 2012, 01:50:29 PM
:lulz:
LMNO wins the thread.
LMNO has been winning the
internets lately. He's on a roll!
You know, this stuff really, really needs to be recorded. Because I want to burn a Christmas cd.
Sirens sing, and there's screaming,
Torches blaze, bodies bleeding
A terrible sight,
We're running tonight.
Running for our motherfucking lives.
Gone insane are her legions,
feed on brains, mate with pigeons
They charge into war
We're foot to the floor,
Running for our motherfucking lives.
In the meadow sacrifice some humans,
Then pretend it isn't raining flames
They'll say: Are you serious?
We'll say: sure man,
But to Nigel this is all just fun and games
:mittens:
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
You guys, I seriously think there's about an album's worth, here.
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on December 12, 2012, 06:48:28 PM
Sirens sing, and there's screaming,
Torches blaze, bodies bleeding
A terrible sight,
We're running tonight.
Running for our motherfucking lives.
Gone insane are her legions,
feed on brains, mate with pigeons
They charge into war
We're foot to the floor,
Running for our motherfucking lives.
In the meadow sacrifice some humans,
Then pretend it isn't raining flames
They'll say: Are you serious?
We'll say: sure man,
But to Nigel this is all just fun and games
:lulz:
Somebody help me with this one:
Dark Empress Nigel looked out
On the street of Burnside
When the snow lay round about
Deep and crisp and freeze-fried
Brightly shone the moon that night
Like a fake inferno
When a wino came in sight
Straining winter Sterno...
Re-writing the tinny Christmas carols playing in my store to fit a more Nigelmas theme helped me get through work today. Hooray! I've narrowed it down to three that I really liked. My question is : Can we get a children's choir for the album? Because my current favorite just wouldn't be the same without the wailing of children on the final high note.
Versions Verry 1: i sure wish the drop WiFi carrier trick would GO AWAY
{nebber Mind My QUestion is dose she OR does she not cross the river
about shooting ?
THERE WAS A maid in OREGON /FOR PRIME TIME tv {LOCAL/NATIONAL/in seg
TainT NO "snow round about
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on December 12, 2012, 11:06:33 PM
Somebody help me with this one:
Dark Empress Nigel looked out
On the street of Burnside
When the
Deep and crisp and freeze-fried
Brightly shone the moon that night
Like a fake inferno
When a wino came in sight
Straining winter Sterno...
Quote from: hirley0 on December 13, 2012, 09:00:00 AM
Versions Verry 1: i sure wish the drop WiFi carrier trick would GO AWAY
{nebber Mind My QUestion is dose she OR does she not cross the river
about shooting ?
THERE WAS A maid in OREGON /FOR PRIME TIME tv {LOCAL/NATIONAL/in seg
TainT NO "snow round about
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on December 12, 2012, 11:06:33 PM
Somebody help me with this one:
Dark Empress Nigel looked out
On the street of Burnside
When the
Deep and crisp and freeze-fried
Brightly shone the moon that night
Like a fake inferno
When a wino came in sight
Straining winter Sterno...
Thanks! :) Fixed:
Dark Empress Nigel looked out
On the street of Burnside
Where the bums lay round about
Burned out, broke and red-eyed
Brightly shone the moon that night
Like a fake inferno
When a wino came in sight
Straining winter Sterno...
Needs more verses.
Quote from: hirley0 on December 13, 2012, 09:00:00 AM
Versions Verry 1: i sure wish the drop WiFi carrier trick would GO AWAY
{nebber Mind My QUestion is dose she OR does she not cross the river
about shooting ?
THERE WAS A maid in OREGON /FOR PRIME TIME tv {LOCAL/NATIONAL/in seg
TainT NO "snow round about
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on December 12, 2012, 11:06:33 PM
Somebody help me with this one:
Dark Empress Nigel looked out
On the street of Burnside
When the
Deep and crisp and freeze-fried
Brightly shone the moon that night
Like a fake inferno
When a wino came in sight
Straining winter Sterno...
I like where this one's going!
Yes, I do cross the river, about two or three times a week if need be.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 13, 2012, 05:14:04 AM
Re-writing the tinny Christmas carols playing in my store to fit a more Nigelmas theme helped me get through work today. Hooray! I've narrowed it down to three that I really liked. My question is : Can we get a children's choir for the album? Because my current favorite just wouldn't be the same without the wailing of children on the final high note.
Hmmm, it's unfortunate that all my children have rather deep voices.
Maybe I can borrow a few? We don't need many for the desired effect. In fact, just one singing along with herself could work well. I know one who might do.
Hot Cowboy says I can borrow his recording equipment...
Quote from: hølist on December 15, 2012, 10:49:13 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 13, 2012, 05:14:04 AM
Re-writing the tinny Christmas carols playing in my store to fit a more Nigelmas theme helped me get through work today. Hooray! I've narrowed it down to three that I really liked. My question is : Can we get a children's choir for the album? Because my current favorite just wouldn't be the same without the wailing of children on the final high note.
Hmmm, it's unfortunate that all my children have rather deep voices.
Maybe I can borrow a few? We don't need many for the desired effect. In fact, just one singing along with herself could work well. I know one who might do.
Hot Cowboy says I can borrow his recording equipment...
This could so easily be a real thing. I am excited. I gotta find the song again.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 16, 2012, 05:26:11 AM
Quote from: hølist on December 15, 2012, 10:49:13 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 13, 2012, 05:14:04 AM
Re-writing the tinny Christmas carols playing in my store to fit a more Nigelmas theme helped me get through work today. Hooray! I've narrowed it down to three that I really liked. My question is : Can we get a children's choir for the album? Because my current favorite just wouldn't be the same without the wailing of children on the final high note.
Hmmm, it's unfortunate that all my children have rather deep voices.
Maybe I can borrow a few? We don't need many for the desired effect. In fact, just one singing along with herself could work well. I know one who might do.
Hot Cowboy says I can borrow his recording equipment...
This could so easily be a real thing. I am excited. I gotta find the song again.
Yeah, I think it might happen. I gotta talk to the guy again.
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2012, 09:32:07 PM
On the twelfth day of Nigel my true hate gave to me,
Twelve empty sacks of weed,
Eleven cops arresting,
Ten Occupiers stinking,
Nine Bryan Adams CD'S,
Eight noobies howlin,
Seven pinks a shopping,
Six boybands singing,
FIVE GOLDEN SHOWERS,
Four missing teeth,
Three tarot cards of death,
Two pails of turds,
A subpoena and a bucket of pee.
Bump, 'cause it's CHRISTMAS.
Oh wow, I forgot about this!