Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 29, 2013, 08:18:59 PM

Title: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 29, 2013, 08:18:59 PM
Get her a Chia-TGRR.  Everyone loves Chia-TGRR.  It shows up as an oversized, vaguely humanoid lump.  Water it daily, and watch the hair grow out of places you didn't know you had places!  Hours of fun for the whole family and Pix will forgive your various and sundry transgressions.

Warning:  England is the absolute perfect climate for Chia-TGRR, so do NOT leave outside, on account of what happened to Machu Pichu.  Southampton would be overgrown in days, and then you'd have to fuck off to the Midlands until the Spaniards arrive to convert everyone.

Do not put your Chia-Roger where it can see a television, as we cannot be held responsible for the results of its blind rage.  Do not attempt to comb your Chia-TGRR, as severe damage to your hands may result.  Hose your Chia-TGRR down with Malathion once per week to minimize various vermin infestations.

Call today.  Supplies are limited.  Nine easy payments of YOUR VERY SANITY and it's yours to enjoy forever.
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on April 29, 2013, 09:10:59 PM
What happens to a Chia-TGRR if you put on Taylor Swift?
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on April 29, 2013, 09:11:19 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 29, 2013, 08:18:59 PM
Get her a Chia-TGRR.  Everyone loves Chia-TGRR.  It shows up as an oversized, vaguely humanoid lump.  Water it daily, and watch the hair grow out of places you didn't know you had places!  Hours of fun for the whole family and Pix will forgive your various and sundry transgressions.

Warning:  England is the absolute perfect climate for Chia-TGRR, so do NOT leave outside, on account of what happened to Machu Pichu.  Southampton would be overgrown in days, and then you'd have to fuck off to the Midlands until the Spaniards arrive to convert everyone.

Do not put your Chia-Roger where it can see a television, as we cannot be held responsible for the results of its blind rage.  Do not attempt to comb your Chia-TGRR, as severe damage to your hands may result.  Hose your Chia-TGRR down with Malathion once per week to minimize various vermin infestations.

Call today.  Supplies are limited.  Nine easy payments of YOUR VERY SANITY and it's yours to enjoy forever.

Can i use it to scare New Housemate if he acts up?
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 29, 2013, 09:18:35 PM
Quote from: Queef Erisson on April 29, 2013, 09:10:59 PM
What happens to a Chia-TGRR if you put on Taylor Swift?

It dies.

And then it begins to decompose.  Horribly.
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 29, 2013, 09:18:59 PM
Quote from: Pixie on April 29, 2013, 09:11:19 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 29, 2013, 08:18:59 PM
Get her a Chia-TGRR.  Everyone loves Chia-TGRR.  It shows up as an oversized, vaguely humanoid lump.  Water it daily, and watch the hair grow out of places you didn't know you had places!  Hours of fun for the whole family and Pix will forgive your various and sundry transgressions.

Warning:  England is the absolute perfect climate for Chia-TGRR, so do NOT leave outside, on account of what happened to Machu Pichu.  Southampton would be overgrown in days, and then you'd have to fuck off to the Midlands until the Spaniards arrive to convert everyone.

Do not put your Chia-Roger where it can see a television, as we cannot be held responsible for the results of its blind rage.  Do not attempt to comb your Chia-TGRR, as severe damage to your hands may result.  Hose your Chia-TGRR down with Malathion once per week to minimize various vermin infestations.

Call today.  Supplies are limited.  Nine easy payments of YOUR VERY SANITY and it's yours to enjoy forever.

Can i use it to scare New Housemate if he acts up?

Yes.  The threat being that the Chia-TGRR always needs more bone meal.

I'm ORGANIC!
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 29, 2013, 09:39:50 PM
But not biodegradable.  Not so's you'd notice, anyway.
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: Payne on April 29, 2013, 09:41:57 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 29, 2013, 08:18:59 PM
Get her a Chia-TGRR.  Everyone loves Chia-TGRR.  It shows up as an oversized, vaguely humanoid lump.  Water it daily, and watch the hair grow out of places you didn't know you had places!  Hours of fun for the whole family and Pix will forgive your various and sundry transgressions.

Warning:  England is the absolute perfect climate for Chia-TGRR, so do NOT leave outside, on account of what happened to Machu Pichu.  Southampton would be overgrown in days, and then you'd have to fuck off to the Midlands until the Spaniards arrive to convert everyone.

Do not put your Chia-Roger where it can see a television, as we cannot be held responsible for the results of its blind rage.  Do not attempt to comb your Chia-TGRR, as severe damage to your hands may result.  Hose your Chia-TGRR down with Malathion once per week to minimize various vermin infestations.

Call today.  Supplies are limited.  Nine easy payments of YOUR VERY SANITY and it's yours to enjoy forever.

Sign me up!

Pixie is always pestering me for a pet, and the stick I found outside and called Ryan The Stick Insect is not longer doing the business.
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on April 29, 2013, 09:48:34 PM
Quote from: Payne on April 29, 2013, 09:41:57 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 29, 2013, 08:18:59 PM
Get her a Chia-TGRR.  Everyone loves Chia-TGRR.  It shows up as an oversized, vaguely humanoid lump.  Water it daily, and watch the hair grow out of places you didn't know you had places!  Hours of fun for the whole family and Pix will forgive your various and sundry transgressions.

Warning:  England is the absolute perfect climate for Chia-TGRR, so do NOT leave outside, on account of what happened to Machu Pichu.  Southampton would be overgrown in days, and then you'd have to fuck off to the Midlands until the Spaniards arrive to convert everyone.

Do not put your Chia-Roger where it can see a television, as we cannot be held responsible for the results of its blind rage.  Do not attempt to comb your Chia-TGRR, as severe damage to your hands may result.  Hose your Chia-TGRR down with Malathion once per week to minimize various vermin infestations.

Call today.  Supplies are limited.  Nine easy payments of YOUR VERY SANITY and it's yours to enjoy forever.

Sign me up!

Pixie is always pestering me for a pet, and the stick I found outside and called Ryan The Stick Insect is not longer doing the business.

A mecha kitten would do. Needs batteries and wont puke hairballs on the carpet.
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: Payne on April 29, 2013, 09:49:06 PM
What have I told you?

NO MORE ROBOTIC PUSSIES!
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: Pope Pixie Pickle on April 29, 2013, 09:50:22 PM
Quote from: Payne on April 29, 2013, 09:49:06 PM
What have I told you?

NO MORE ROBOTIC PUSSIES!

BUT I WANT A MECHA KITTEN!
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 29, 2013, 09:52:53 PM
You know, they have the chia-Obama, I think someone would actually make a chia-Roger. Just think how easy it would be . . .
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: Payne on April 29, 2013, 10:00:11 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 29, 2013, 09:52:53 PM
You know, they have the chia-Obama, I think someone would actually make a chia-Roger. Just think how easy it would be . . .

Easy to do.

Impossible to undo.

IT WOULD BE GLORIOUS!
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 29, 2013, 10:04:23 PM
Quote from: Payne on April 29, 2013, 10:00:11 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 29, 2013, 09:52:53 PM
You know, they have the chia-Obama, I think someone would actually make a chia-Roger. Just think how easy it would be . . .

Easy to do.

Impossible to undo.

IT WOULD BE GLORIOUS!

Terra cotta Rogers, in different poses, ready for the chia goo to be applied . . . man, that would be hilarious.
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: Payne on April 29, 2013, 10:05:37 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 29, 2013, 10:04:23 PM
Quote from: Payne on April 29, 2013, 10:00:11 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 29, 2013, 09:52:53 PM
You know, they have the chia-Obama, I think someone would actually make a chia-Roger. Just think how easy it would be . . .

Easy to do.

Impossible to undo.

IT WOULD BE GLORIOUS!

Terra cotta Rogers, in different poses, ready for the chia goo to be applied . . . man, that would be hilarious.

No. Only one.

The world is not ready for more than one.
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 29, 2013, 10:08:09 PM
Quote from: Payne on April 29, 2013, 10:05:37 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 29, 2013, 10:04:23 PM
Quote from: Payne on April 29, 2013, 10:00:11 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 29, 2013, 09:52:53 PM
You know, they have the chia-Obama, I think someone would actually make a chia-Roger. Just think how easy it would be . . .

Easy to do.

Impossible to undo.

IT WOULD BE GLORIOUS!

Terra cotta Rogers, in different poses, ready for the chia goo to be applied . . . man, that would be hilarious.

No. Only one.

The world is not ready for more than one.

D'oh. >.> Which one, then? :P
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 29, 2013, 11:33:02 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 29, 2013, 10:08:09 PM
Quote from: Payne on April 29, 2013, 10:05:37 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 29, 2013, 10:04:23 PM
Quote from: Payne on April 29, 2013, 10:00:11 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 29, 2013, 09:52:53 PM
You know, they have the chia-Obama, I think someone would actually make a chia-Roger. Just think how easy it would be . . .

Easy to do.

Impossible to undo.

IT WOULD BE GLORIOUS!

Terra cotta Rogers, in different poses, ready for the chia goo to be applied . . . man, that would be hilarious.

No. Only one.

The world is not ready for more than one.

D'oh. >.> Which one, then? :P

It's me doing that dance.  You know the one.
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 29, 2013, 11:56:11 PM
I really can't see this being anything other than GLORIOUS!
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 30, 2013, 02:14:39 AM
I want one.
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on April 30, 2013, 02:22:02 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 30, 2013, 02:14:39 AM
I want one.

Let's just say that I'm straining to get the materials ready.
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on April 30, 2013, 02:23:00 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 30, 2013, 02:22:02 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 30, 2013, 02:14:39 AM
I want one.

Let's just say that I'm straining to get the materials ready.

:eek:
Title: Re: Payne, all your Pixie issues SOLVED in 9 easy payments!
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on April 30, 2013, 02:46:38 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 30, 2013, 02:23:00 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on April 30, 2013, 02:22:02 AM
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on April 30, 2013, 02:14:39 AM
I want one.

Let's just say that I'm straining to get the materials ready.

:eek:

Even with bleach, that mental image isn't going to come out.