http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/07/opinion/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407
QuoteWhen Susan had breast cancer, we heard a lot of lame remarks, but our favorite came from one of Susan's colleagues. She wanted, she needed, to visit Susan after the surgery, but Susan didn't feel like having visitors, and she said so.
Her colleague's response? "This isn't just about you."
"It's not?" Susan wondered. "My breast cancer is not about me? It's about you?"
Ahahahahaha. Yes, yes. We all know those people.
QuoteSusan has since developed a simple technique to help people avoid this mistake. It works for all kinds of crises: medical, legal, financial, romantic, even existential. She calls it the Ring Theory.
Easy enough for everyone to figure out. In theory.
QuoteComfort IN, dump OUT.
In with the good vibes, out with the bad . . . .
QuoteAnd don't worry. You'll get your turn in the center ring. You can count on that.
There's a reassuring note to end on. :D
Very good system.
Even easy to use by the socially inept.
So basically "Ignore the bullshit"? Use this more than just when you have a crisis, it will help. Trust me.
...and the fucking cult of the cancer.
Quote from: Richter on May 28, 2013, 01:48:07 PM
So basically "Ignore the bullshit"? Use this more than just when you have a crisis, it will help. Trust me.
...and the fucking cult of the cancer.
Basically you can say anything to anyone not in the center of the shit storm. But to anyone more involved in the shit storm than you, only comforting, helpful stuff.
All good but I'd bend this one:
QuoteDon't, for example, give advice. People who are suffering from trauma don't need advice.
Sometimes they do. If they couldn't afford medication and I knew of some kind of charity that helped with that, I'd be an asshole not to say anything.
Of course not many things like that exist anymore, so my point is probably moot anyway.
Quote from: stelz on May 28, 2013, 03:22:23 PM
All good but I'd bend this one:
QuoteDon't, for example, give advice. People who are suffering from trauma don't need advice.
That makes Facebook cry.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 28, 2013, 06:06:20 PM
Quote from: stelz on May 28, 2013, 03:22:23 PM
All good but I'd bend this one:
QuoteDon't, for example, give advice. People who are suffering from trauma don't need advice.
That makes Facebook cry.
Suddenly I feel a lot better about this whole topic. :D
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 28, 2013, 06:06:20 PM
Quote from: stelz on May 28, 2013, 03:22:23 PM
All good but I'd bend this one:
QuoteDon't, for example, give advice. People who are suffering from trauma don't need advice.
That makes Facebook cry.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 28, 2013, 01:53:21 AM
http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/07/opinion/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407
QuoteWhen Susan had breast cancer, we heard a lot of lame remarks, but our favorite came from one of Susan's colleagues. She wanted, she needed, to visit Susan after the surgery, but Susan didn't feel like having visitors, and she said so.
Her colleague's response? "This isn't just about you."
"It's not?" Susan wondered. "My breast cancer is not about me? It's about you?"
Ahahahahaha. Yes, yes. We all know those people.
QuoteSusan has since developed a simple technique to help people avoid this mistake. It works for all kinds of crises: medical, legal, financial, romantic, even existential. She calls it the Ring Theory.
Easy enough for everyone to figure out. In theory.
QuoteComfort IN, dump OUT.
In with the good vibes, out with the bad . . . .
QuoteAnd don't worry. You'll get your turn in the center ring. You can count on that.
There's a reassuring note to end on. :D
That was a really good, useful article!
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 28, 2013, 06:06:20 PM
Quote from: stelz on May 28, 2013, 03:22:23 PM
All good but I'd bend this one:
QuoteDon't, for example, give advice. People who are suffering from trauma don't need advice.
That makes Facebook cry.
:lulz:
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 28, 2013, 11:16:54 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 28, 2013, 01:53:21 AM
http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/07/opinion/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407
QuoteWhen Susan had breast cancer, we heard a lot of lame remarks, but our favorite came from one of Susan's colleagues. She wanted, she needed, to visit Susan after the surgery, but Susan didn't feel like having visitors, and she said so.
Her colleague's response? "This isn't just about you."
"It's not?" Susan wondered. "My breast cancer is not about me? It's about you?"
Ahahahahaha. Yes, yes. We all know those people.
QuoteSusan has since developed a simple technique to help people avoid this mistake. It works for all kinds of crises: medical, legal, financial, romantic, even existential. She calls it the Ring Theory.
Easy enough for everyone to figure out. In theory.
QuoteComfort IN, dump OUT.
In with the good vibes, out with the bad . . . .
QuoteAnd don't worry. You'll get your turn in the center ring. You can count on that.
There's a reassuring note to end on. :D
That was a really good, useful article!
:D I would send it to people I know but it would start a war.
Quote from: stelz on May 28, 2013, 03:22:23 PM
All good but I'd bend this one:
QuoteDon't, for example, give advice. People who are suffering from trauma don't need advice.
Sometimes they do. If they couldn't afford medication and I knew of some kind of charity that helped with that, I'd be an asshole not to say anything.
Of course not many things like that exist anymore, so my point is probably moot anyway.
I hate unsolicited advice. When someone says "I have this problem and I don't know what to do about it" that sounds a lot like soliciting advice, but when someone says "I have this problem and I am taking care of it but it sucks" that is probably not soliciting advice.
I get stuck at "I have this problem and it's hopeless and there is nothing I can do about it". If I can see pretty clearly that there are solutions, I want to give advice, but at the same time they probably don't actually want advice and aren't going to take it anyway, and I should just shut up.
Of course, if someone keeps that shit up for long enough I probably don't really want to keep talking to them anyway.
Triple Zero end-gamed unsolicited advice years ago.
"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 28, 2013, 11:30:21 PM
Triple Zero end-gamed unsolicited advice years ago.
"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"
:lulz: I love that. It's a good meme.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 28, 2013, 11:30:21 PM
Triple Zero end-gamed unsolicited advice years ago.
"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"
This is my go to advice when people come to me whining about horrible things they want changed but don't want to change it themselves.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 28, 2013, 02:53:20 PM
Quote from: Richter on May 28, 2013, 01:48:07 PM
So basically "Ignore the bullshit"? Use this more than just when you have a crisis, it will help. Trust me.
...and the fucking cult of the cancer.
Basically you can say anything to anyone not in the center of the shit storm. But to anyone more involved in the shit storm than you, only comforting, helpful stuff.
The person at the center should know this.
Anyone who cares to read / take this advice is by nature not the person who NEEDS to read it.
Oh how I hates them all...
Yeah. I think the article was more geared towards people who aren't the center who DON'T know this. Like the lady telling the cancer patient that her cancer wasn't just about her. It was about the lady.
However, if your problem is with Roger, you must take proper precautions when attempting to turn him on.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on May 29, 2013, 04:06:47 PM
However, if your problem is with Roger, you must take proper precautions when attempting to turn him on.
That's no way to live.
Neither is spending the rest of your life as a viusally-impared victim of Howl-induced sexual trauma.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on May 29, 2013, 04:09:22 PM
Neither is spending the rest of your life as a viusally-impared victim of Howl-induced sexual trauma.
Thousands of unsuspecting Tucsonans disagree. Or they would, if that were still within their capabilities.
:horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth:
This took a decidedly disturbing yet delicious twist.
Trauma I could live with ITT
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GO TO SLEEP NOW? :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth:
Quote from: Queen Gogira Pennyworth, BSW on May 30, 2013, 04:55:37 AM
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GO TO SLEEP NOW? :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth: :horrormirth:
Oh, it's not that fucking bad, for Chrissakes. I mean, it's not even possible for me to be nekkid, at least not without contracting a lumber company or something. So mental pictures involved can't be that bad.
Naked Roger pretty much just looks like this:
(http://farm9.static.flickr.com/8461/7965516152_9e21ec861f.jpg)
I once thought I spent an entire evening having an intimate conversation with him, only to realize that I was alone in a 1970's motel room.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on May 30, 2013, 04:35:57 PM
Naked Roger pretty much just looks like this:
(http://farm9.static.flickr.com/8461/7965516152_9e21ec861f.jpg)
I once thought I spent an entire evening having an intimate conversation with him, only to realize that I was alone in a 1970's motel room.
:lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
I really hope he wasn't sleeping on my grandma's bedroom floor then . . .
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 30, 2013, 09:46:31 PM
I really hope he wasn't sleeping on my grandma's bedroom floor then . . .
I can blend in perfectly, anywhere there are lava lamps.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 30, 2013, 09:47:02 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 30, 2013, 09:46:31 PM
I really hope he wasn't sleeping on my grandma's bedroom floor then . . .
I can blend in perfectly, anywhere there are lava lamps.
Then you've got about thirty half-licked saf-t-pop suckers in your back fur. Sorry about that. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 30, 2013, 09:48:20 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 30, 2013, 09:47:02 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 30, 2013, 09:46:31 PM
I really hope he wasn't sleeping on my grandma's bedroom floor then . . .
I can blend in perfectly, anywhere there are lava lamps.
Then you've got about thirty half-licked saf-t-pop suckers in your back fur. Sorry about that. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
:lulz: