"Let's go troll!", they yell. I am there alone. Again. Because I'm a SUCKER. Yeah, two other people went, but they're on a very different schedule. Everyone else just left me hanging. Again. Because I'm a fucking FOOL.
"Come by and hang out!", my best friend says. So I do. I'm a bit late, and when I get there, she's playing a CCG. Well, my fault for being late. So I go to see her again, on time, but there's no time to talk. I am expected to be there to watch her play a CCG. Goodbye, no hard feelings, just goodbye.
Board full of people, nobody wants to talk to me. But where is LOBB? Dance, monkey, dance.
My entire crew is playing fuckaround all of a sudden, in the last week or so, trying to steal the credit for things from each other, while doing a half-ass fucking job. Just sent 3 of them home, I'll decide if they're still fucking employed when I calm the fuck down.
Another "friend" of mine has been finding more and more passive-aggressive ways to try to borrow money off of me. If he'd have just asked, I'd have done it, if it was doable. Fuck that now, though.
The only three people I know that have treated me like a person (aside from my wife & kids)? Two are too busy, and one is constantly being called away.
Yeah, feeling like a world class prick right now, and feeling kind of justified in doing so.
That sucks dude. Sorry to hear it. Id help out with the trolling but i dont think im particularly good at it unless you count what we did with my mod powers over at tsc. Which remembering just now got me to chuckle a bit.
No, but thanks.
I'm so fucking pissed off at IRL events that it's getting me pissed off here, and the fact that BH kicked our ass in trolling tells me that it's hopeless.
I hear that. If something is grating on you in one place its going to color your mood everywhere else.
Just you wait until the end of term. Bored Nigel with nothing to do? I can be PRETTY IRRITATING.
The "I fucking rock so hard and you guys suck" troll is pretty effective, I want to spread that around a little.
Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on June 07, 2013, 08:32:57 PM
Just you wait until the end of term. Bored Nigel with nothing to do? I can be PRETTY IRRITATING.
The "I fucking rock so hard and you guys suck" troll is pretty effective, I want to spread that around a little.
I'm down. If it pisses people off, I'm okay with it right now.
You're all up in my head, Dok.
The problem with trusting people, is people. Theres to damned many of them, and only half are worth the meat they walk around in.
I can't even stand the sight of human faces right now.
Quote from: Alty on June 07, 2013, 08:34:35 PM
You're all up in my head, Dok.
The problem with trusting people, is people. Theres to damned many of them, and only half are worth the meat they walk around in.
I can't even stand the sight of human faces right now.
The problems in my head are these:
1. When I talk to someone, I tend to give them my full attention. I expect the same courtesy. I don't expect to patiently wait 30 minutes for 2 minutes of conversation, then be quietly given the hand so that the person can get back to what they REALLY value: A CCG.
2. People, no matter how well you think you know them, will fall all over themselves to stab you or anyone else in the back for a momentary, non-important perceived "gain". Talking about my employees, here.
3. The only person here who has the right to be impatient about LOBB is Nigel, and she's been patient as hell. To the people who have NOT been patient: IF YOU CAN'T BE ARSED TO SPEAK TO ME ON THE BOARD, PLEASE SAVE YOU AND I BOTH A LOT OF HEARTACHE AND DO NOT PM ME DEMANDING MORE LOBB. WHERE THE BLISTERING FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU GET OFF? This doesn't include ECH, of course, who has been known to speak to me, even
publicly. LOBB is being written for Nigel and her youngest kid. Not for you. Shut up.
4. If you aren't actually going to do something, please don't tell me how cool it's going to be.
and
5. From this point forward, if you can't be arsed to speak to me, then you are off my fucking radar. Not "RAGE HATE YOU IN THE FACE RAGE", just off my radar.
What's a CCG?
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 07, 2013, 08:55:28 PM
What's a CCG?
Collectable Card Game. Magic the Gathering, L5R, that sort of thing. In this case, L5R.
I'm not feeling particularly hateful over this, except at the universe in general, because I don't have my best friend anymore. There's someone else there, now.
It's sort of like watching someone you know go full-bore on cocaine.
Wait. You go over to someone's house, and they're too busy playing a GAME than hang out with you?
No Computa.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on June 07, 2013, 09:03:58 PM
Wait. You go over to someone's house, and they're too busy playing a GAME than hang out with you?
No Computa.
Naw, it was at a game shop, but that's more a social center here than anything else. I'm not mad at this person, just very depressed. The person I used to know isn't there anymore.
I fucking hate this town. It eats all my friends. They go nuts or they die or they become some sort of addict.
I mean, there's still people I hang around with, but it isn't the same.
Apologies if I've been out of sync. Been kind of weirded out in general and going through similar.
I wrote a friend the other day and asked if everything was OK because I hadn't head from him in awhile. (He knows my living situation and the fact that people around here say things like "What do you expect from a n- president?" every time there's some shitty current event.) And he wrote back and said "I'm busy, I don't go online much anymore, don't worry, just have fun, OK?"
The rational part of my mind was relieved, but the butthurt redheaded stepchild part wondered if he ever heard a word I said ("have FUN"???) and contemplated drinking a quart of whiskey and walking in front of a semi.
So yeah. There's a lot of it going around.
Not calling you a "butthurt redheaded stepchild", BTW. It's a thing that lives in my head. My big fat personal demon.
Quote from: stelz on June 07, 2013, 09:24:04 PM
Apologies if I've been out of sync. Been kind of weirded out in general and going through similar.
I wrote a friend the other day and asked if everything was OK because I hadn't head from him in awhile. (He knows my living situation and the fact that people around here say things like "What do you expect from a n- president?" every time there's some shitty current event.) And he wrote back and said "I'm busy, I don't go online much anymore, don't worry, just have fun, OK?"
The rational part of my mind was relieved, but the butthurt redheaded stepchild part wondered if he ever heard a word I said ("have FUN"???) and contemplated drinking a quart of whiskey and walking in front of a semi.
So yeah. There's a lot of it going around.
Not calling you a "butthurt redheaded stepchild", BTW. It's a thing that lives in my head. My big fat personal demon.
Yep. I also assume that you are taking Keen calls, self-employed people never have any time. No worries.
But yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. I haven't been this miserable in years and years, and all I really need is someone to go crazy with or even just sit down and shoot the breeze, so that I can remember that I'm not JUST my job.
But instead, I get excuses, or ums and uh huhs, from people who don't have time for anything other than their current obsession. I have my RPG groups, but outside of the game, we have nothing in common. I'm at sea.
Quote from: Alty on June 07, 2013, 08:34:35 PM
I can't even stand the sight of human faces right now.
I'd love to see a human face. A live human face. I live in a Goddamn mausoleum.
QuoteQuoteBut yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. I haven't been this miserable in years and years, and all I really need is someone to go crazy with or even just sit down and shoot the breeze, so that I can remember that I'm not JUST my job.
I can sympathise. That and a night of sleep would put me in much better headspace mentally.
If I ever get enough sleep that I can actually think straight, I will look into finding a fun project of some kind. I think maybe, in relation to the trolling issue, part of the problem is PD has been punching below it's former weight for far too long, and picking on the weak is the cause of many ills. You don't become a better player by adjusting the difficulty setting down all the time, and going for the low fruit means learning bad habits and laziness.
I'll see what I can do.
Quote from: Cain on June 07, 2013, 09:33:13 PM
I can sympathise. That and a night of sleep would put me in much better headspace mentally.
If I ever get enough sleep that I can actually think straight, I will look into finding a fun project of some kind.
I keep telling myself that. And I keep being here.
I don't have ANY real friend here. My whole LIFE is online or away from here.
I might take a day off from Keen. Can't chase money all the time.
Quote from: stelz on June 07, 2013, 09:34:44 PM
I don't have ANY real friend here. My whole LIFE is online or away from here.
I might take a day off from Keen. Can't chase money all the time.
Your job is portable. Run while you still have legs.
I feel like shit.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 07, 2013, 09:35:19 PM
Quote from: stelz on June 07, 2013, 09:34:44 PM
I don't have ANY real friend here. My whole LIFE is online or away from here.
I might take a day off from Keen. Can't chase money all the time.
Your job is portable. Run while you still have legs.
I know. Just trying to scrape up moving expenses.
Quote from: stelz on June 07, 2013, 09:39:45 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 07, 2013, 09:35:19 PM
Quote from: stelz on June 07, 2013, 09:34:44 PM
I don't have ANY real friend here. My whole LIFE is online or away from here.
I might take a day off from Keen. Can't chase money all the time.
Your job is portable. Run while you still have legs.
I know. Just trying to scrape up moving expenses.
I'd say "Run to Tucson!", but it would just eat you, too.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 07, 2013, 09:40:29 PM
Quote from: stelz on June 07, 2013, 09:39:45 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 07, 2013, 09:35:19 PM
Quote from: stelz on June 07, 2013, 09:34:44 PM
I don't have ANY real friend here. My whole LIFE is online or away from here.
I might take a day off from Keen. Can't chase money all the time.
Your job is portable. Run while you still have legs.
I know. Just trying to scrape up moving expenses.
I'd say "Run to Tucson!", but it would just eat you, too.
Sounds like it's not treating you so well.
OTOH, I could go in a bar and hear something other than karaoke Lee Greenwood songs.
Quote from: stelz on June 07, 2013, 09:45:57 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 07, 2013, 09:40:29 PM
Quote from: stelz on June 07, 2013, 09:39:45 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 07, 2013, 09:35:19 PM
Quote from: stelz on June 07, 2013, 09:34:44 PM
I don't have ANY real friend here. My whole LIFE is online or away from here.
I might take a day off from Keen. Can't chase money all the time.
Your job is portable. Run while you still have legs.
I know. Just trying to scrape up moving expenses.
I'd say "Run to Tucson!", but it would just eat you, too.
Sounds like it's not treating you so well.
OTOH, I could go in a bar and hear something other than karaoke Lee Greenwood songs.
Point. We have Kenny Loggins tribute bands. :lulz:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 07, 2013, 09:47:22 PM
Quote from: stelz on June 07, 2013, 09:45:57 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 07, 2013, 09:40:29 PM
Quote from: stelz on June 07, 2013, 09:39:45 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 07, 2013, 09:35:19 PM
Quote from: stelz on June 07, 2013, 09:34:44 PM
I don't have ANY real friend here. My whole LIFE is online or away from here.
I might take a day off from Keen. Can't chase money all the time.
Your job is portable. Run while you still have legs.
I know. Just trying to scrape up moving expenses.
I'd say "Run to Tucson!", but it would just eat you, too.
Sounds like it's not treating you so well.
OTOH, I could go in a bar and hear something other than karaoke Lee Greenwood songs.
Point. We have Kenny Loggins tribute bands. :lulz:
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/a26f6f6cf3ef17c68801168551befbfa/tumblr_mkozvtNX6k1qapkmyo1_500.jpg)
I was doing card practice with somebody on facebook the other day and the guy said "u feel not good or safe where u are, not a good place to live - melancholy, like living in trash"
I only started interacting with this person recently and he's in BERLIN. Either he's really good, or somebody finally read my facebook notes. :lol:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on June 07, 2013, 09:37:22 PM
I feel like shit.
I'm sorry you feel like shit.
Something that seems to work for that is jumping up and down and flailing wildly, while screaming NO NO NO NO at the top of your lungs until you are tired.
I tried to send you a PM, I don't see it in my sent folder. :?
*Shrug*
...Gonna go get coffee.
I don't think it saves them unless you tell it to.
Quote from: stelz on June 08, 2013, 01:35:28 AM
I don't think it saves them unless you tell it to.
This is correct.
I don't know how I would help. Still dealing with my mild depression. My brother has noticed it now, and he tries to second guess me alot. Wife is trying her damnest. I feel like Stan in that cynical episode of South Park. School's good for us. I've been working out 3-4 times a week. I don't know much about you Roger to comfort you in anyway. I have been in those same shoes I'm down to three good friends that I care about, and one of them is my brother. I lost to many already because they fell for the po' fucker's dream, and I haven't fallen in line yet. Everything is going amazing for me these last few months, yet I can't snap out of this. Also I feel strange, and naked without my god damn rage. Even when I have access to a free PC; I just stay at PD not logged in, and say "why bother". If this is me "maturing", and becoming a gray-faced spag GOD HELP US ALL.
You're all welcome in Boston.
Our weather has Attention Deficit Disorder, but it stays below 104 and stays above -30.
We may be indifferent to strangers and give bad directions, but if we see a friend on the street, we will stop. We're not Icelanders, after all.
Thanks, Twid. Boston was pretty cool.
Trying to imagine the mass influx. :lol:
Hey Dok, if I could participate more here I would—in a hot minute. I've been riding about 20 miles through the west hills every day without getting enough sleep or enough good food. By the time I get home I'm too exhausted to do anything but try and soak up some content with my hour or so of free time. Often I'll wake up early, can't get back to sleep, and groggily try to peruse the forum.
On my days off I've been training for a side job, vegetating like a lizard (conserving my energy for the daily grind), and working on some pieces for the worst art show of all time. Christ it took me forever to even compose this short little check in. Fuck.
(http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/117/009/soon.jpg)