Local JWs approached me a couple weeks ago, we had a lovely discussion about religion and they want more! I'll be meeting with them Friday morning, ITT any suggestions for wacky shit to fill their impressionable little brains with.
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 17, 2013, 01:32:19 AM
Local JWs approached me a couple weeks ago, we had a lovely discussion about religion and they want more! I'll be meeting with them Friday morning, ITT any suggestions for wacky shit to fill their impressionable little brains with.
I'd like to say that,
reading this on a Discordian board, I support these efforts.
Indigo children are the lost children of Israel.
Quote from: Mr. Bear on October 17, 2013, 02:00:09 AM
Indigo children are the lost children of Israel.
:eek:
You gotta fit the jews in somewhere. It's their bread and butter. Are you asking for satire, or actual goofiness?
I just usually show them the Book of the Subgenius and some of Roger's best rants. I have a supply printed for such occasions.
You were ritually tested, and turned out not to be one of 144,000 elect or however many there are. Offer to do the ritual for them, so they can find out.
Show them Ratatosk's posts on why he left the JWs.
Tell them you dug up these metal plates in the back yard, and pull out a hat with a couple of quartz crystals in it...
Quote from: Pere Ubu on October 17, 2013, 03:25:31 AM
Tell them you dug up these metal plates in the back yard, and pull out a hat with a couple of quartz crystals in it...
That's mormons.
Quote from: Mr. Bear on October 17, 2013, 02:17:00 AM
You gotta fit the jews in somewhere. It's their bread and butter. Are you asking for satire, or actual goofiness?
More looking for ridiculous bullshit than criticism or satire.
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 17, 2013, 03:56:00 AM
Quote from: Pere Ubu on October 17, 2013, 03:25:31 AM
Tell them you dug up these metal plates in the back yard, and pull out a hat with a couple of quartz crystals in it...
That's mormons.
You know that, and I know that, but you think they (necessarily) would?
Or tell them about this "Xenu" guy you had the most unusual dream about.
I.E. steal shamelessly from the classics and pawn it off on them as new revelations. Brew up some Flavor-Aid and serve it to 'em while you're at it.
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 17, 2013, 03:56:00 AM
Quote from: Pere Ubu on October 17, 2013, 03:25:31 AM
Tell them you dug up these metal plates in the back yard, and pull out a hat with a couple of quartz crystals in it...
That's mormons.
Quote from: Mr. Bear on October 17, 2013, 02:17:00 AM
You gotta fit the jews in somewhere. It's their bread and butter. Are you asking for satire, or actual goofiness?
More looking for ridiculous bullshit than criticism or satire.
Jesus, and Dolemite had the same grandmother.
Quote from: Mr. Bear on October 17, 2013, 08:42:15 AM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 17, 2013, 03:56:00 AM
Quote from: Pere Ubu on October 17, 2013, 03:25:31 AM
Tell them you dug up these metal plates in the back yard, and pull out a hat with a couple of quartz crystals in it...
That's mormons.
Quote from: Mr. Bear on October 17, 2013, 02:17:00 AM
You gotta fit the jews in somewhere. It's their bread and butter. Are you asking for satire, or actual goofiness?
More looking for ridiculous bullshit than criticism or satire.
Jesus, and Dolemite had the same grandmother.
:motorcycle:
Pere Ubu, I already told them OT III.
Sithrak?
(http://media.oglaf.com/comic/sithrak.jpg)
Sithrak.
Just emailed the author for permission to put that shit in Holy Nonsense, hopefully he gets back to me fast!
Quote from: Mr. Bear on October 17, 2013, 02:17:00 AM
You gotta fit the jews in somewhere. It's their bread and butter. Are you asking for satire, or actual goofiness?
Nah, JWs don't put any particular significance on the Jews or lost children of Israel... Not beyond their role in the Old Testament anyway.
Quote from: Junkenstein on October 17, 2013, 01:58:35 PM
Sithrak?
(http://media.oglaf.com/comic/sithrak.jpg)
Sithrak.
Have you ever noticed how "Sithrak the Blind Gibberer" anagrams to "TGGR in: The Bible-Basher Kid."
Some say it's a movie reel made from human skin onto which was recorded THE SECRET ABOUT JESUS AND THE THIRD TOWER and that it's buried in Tucson. Others say "stop asking stupid questions and also SHUT UP".
If I was God, you'd be some busy fuckers, is all I'm saying.
If you were God, then Dog would exist.
Which is both terrifying and wonderful at the same time.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 17, 2013, 05:57:19 PM
If you were God, then Dog would exist.
Which is both terrifying and wonderful at the same time.
Yes, and Komodo dragons would reach 50 feet long.
And alligators in the sewers.
I don't know if you're familiar with the world of Tekumel but here's (http://www.tekumel.com/world_gods.html) an introduction to their gods.
Meet them in a silver mask (http://www.tekumel.com/world_gods08.html)or ask them if they'd like to talk to their ancestors personally (http://www.tekumel.com/world_gods10.html).
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 17, 2013, 01:51:01 PM
Quote from: Mr. Bear on October 17, 2013, 08:42:15 AM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 17, 2013, 03:56:00 AM
Quote from: Pere Ubu on October 17, 2013, 03:25:31 AM
Tell them you dug up these metal plates in the back yard, and pull out a hat with a couple of quartz crystals in it...
That's mormons.
Quote from: Mr. Bear on October 17, 2013, 02:17:00 AM
You gotta fit the jews in somewhere. It's their bread and butter. Are you asking for satire, or actual goofiness?
More looking for ridiculous bullshit than criticism or satire.
Jesus, and Dolemite had the same grandmother.
:motorcycle:
Pere Ubu, I already told them OT III.
???
Quote from: Mr. Bear on October 18, 2013, 01:55:53 AM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 17, 2013, 01:51:01 PM
Quote from: Mr. Bear on October 17, 2013, 08:42:15 AM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 17, 2013, 03:56:00 AM
Quote from: Pere Ubu on October 17, 2013, 03:25:31 AM
Tell them you dug up these metal plates in the back yard, and pull out a hat with a couple of quartz crystals in it...
That's mormons.
Quote from: Mr. Bear on October 17, 2013, 02:17:00 AM
You gotta fit the jews in somewhere. It's their bread and butter. Are you asking for satire, or actual goofiness?
More looking for ridiculous bullshit than criticism or satire.
Jesus, and Dolemite had the same grandmother.
:motorcycle:
Pere Ubu, I already told them OT III.
???
"The Correct Motorcycle"
OT III (Operating Thetan level 3) is a book of Scientology "Initiate" Secrets (totally searchable on the web, but if you ask the Scientologists about it, they want the $$$$ and about a million "auditing" sessions).
OT III is the Xenu story, the one they mostly got right in South Park. A Scientologist would have to pay roughly $120,000 to get to the point where they can hear that one.
Thanks I thought I said something again.
Printed out a copy of Holy Nonsense (ALMOST 100% kopyleft this time, getting so damn close!), one Strange Times for sharing, and I have a couple pope cards printing up right now. Going to chop the bottoms off a couple old you found the comics so they're just anon suit cards, and I've got three copies of Nancy Many's Billion Year Contract.
Wish me luck!
Just got back. Had tons of fun and we're doing it again next week.
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 18, 2013, 04:31:35 PM
Just got back. Had tons of fun and we're doing it again next week.
:lulz:
Don't get sucked it ;-)
At the end I offered to read one of their things if they would read one of mine, and she admitted she was scared to read it because it was pagan. :lulz:
I trust you made it very clear that you have nothing to do with any filthy pagans.
Quote from: Junkenstein on October 18, 2013, 08:45:07 PM
I trust you made it very clear that you have nothing to do with any filthy pagans.
Everything Not Christian is Pagan for JW's. Also, anything Christian but not JW is False Christianity.
Quote from: Bebek Sincap Ratatosk on October 21, 2013, 10:53:23 AM
Quote from: Junkenstein on October 18, 2013, 08:45:07 PM
I trust you made it very clear that you have nothing to do with any filthy pagans.
Everything Not X is Pagan for Y's. Also, anything X but not YX is False X.
I think I've fixed that to cover the stance of pretty much all strands of Christianity and bunch of others.
I did convince them to read Strange Times with the "there's no worship there" tactic.
They want me to come back with some kind of presentation, and we can argue about it. They're going the "the bible must br true because EVIDENCE" route, which is funny.
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 21, 2013, 01:43:05 PM
I did convince them to read Strange Times with the "there's no worship there" tactic.
They want me to come back with some kind of presentation, and we can argue about it. They're going the "the bible must br true because EVIDENCE" route, which is funny.
OH yes, entire books on that topic. "Is the Bible Really the Word of God?", "Reasoning from the Scriptures", All Scriptures are Insipired" etc.
Some things to note: They have no idea that most secular references to Jesus appear either fake or not particularly referencing Jesus. They accept as fact (and assume archeology supports) Israel being slaves in Egypt, The Exodus, the taking of the Promised Land and the Kings from Saul through Zedekiah.They also accept as fact that Israel was destroyed by the Babylonians in 607 BCE instead of 586 like the rest of the world. That bit is important, since it allows them to calculate the Gentile Times (the time from the last King of Israel to the time when Jesus became Gods chosen King in 1914, thus beginning the End Times) and tell everyone that the End is Near (though they did have to keep tweaking that one from "Armeggedon will be in 1914" to "1914 marks the beginning of the end which will happen right after the heros of the Bible are brought back to life" to "1914 marks the beginning of the end and 1975 marks the 6000th year of human existance and thus Armeggedon" to "The generation that was alive in 1914 will not all die out before the end" to "fuzzy fuzzy mushmouth no one knows the day or the hour". :lulz:
They are very vocal that they are not "Young Earth Creationists" and will generally say that since the Bible says "1000 years is as a day to the Lord" that the Creative Days were 1000 years each and that the earth itself might have been here for millions of years before God began to prepare it for life.
They will likely dazzle you with all the prophecies that have come to be fulfilled. The March of the World Powers, Daniel's prophecy of the rise of Alexandar the Great (the Hairy He Goat from his dream). There's the great prophecy about how the city of Tyre would be completely destroyed and never used again, which I bet would surprise the people of Tyre who live there today... but evidence never gets in the way of Prophecy Fulfillment ;-)
If you prove faith with evidence, it isn't faith anymore, and you've destroyed your own religion.
Just saying.
Thanks Ratatosk!