Ask me your questions concerning 2014. I will respond within 24 hours.
NOTE: Caveat Asshat, jackasses. Don't blame me if you don't like the future.
Who is going to win in 2014?
ALternative wording: who is going to lose least in 2014?
Quote from: Payne on December 02, 2013, 09:40:39 PM
Who is going to win in 2014?
ALternative wording: who is going to lose least in 2014?
Where? Here?
The GOP will lose seats in the house, but will almost definitely not lose control of it, because Americans are dumb.
The Senate will remain firmly democratic.
The ACA (Obamacare) will continue to go downhill like a meth'd out truck driver coming down out of Colorado. While hurling piss jugs at other vehicles.
Remaining with Politics: Will Scotland officially tell the English "Ahmgonnapityerheidinpal!" in the Independence referendum?
Quote from: Payne on December 02, 2013, 09:48:56 PM
Remaining with Politics: Will Scotland officially tell the English "Ahmgonnapityerheidinpal!" in the Independence referendum?
No. Scotland is, if nothing else, a nation of survivors, being a hellbroth of Darwinism for these last 2000 years. Scotland on its own will sink into the channel faster than Glenn Miller, and they are aware of this fact.
Besides, it they WON, they'd have one less thing to bitch about, and that's really all the Scots want: Something to bitch about.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on December 02, 2013, 09:50:48 PM
Quote from: Payne on December 02, 2013, 09:48:56 PM
Remaining with Politics: Will Scotland officially tell the English "Ahmgonnapityerheidinpal!" in the Independence referendum?
No. Scotland is, if nothing else, a nation of survivors, being a hellbroth of Darwinism for these last 2000 years. Scotland on its own will sink into the channel faster than Glenn Miller, and they are aware of this fact.
Besides, it they WON, they'd have one less thing to bitch about, and that's really all the Scots want: Something to bitch about.
:lulz:
Next big politician and church scandals, please.
Bonus points if poop is involved.
Never mind all that stuff. I need an answer to the IMPORTANT question:
Will OutKast release a new album?
Will I get a significant other? :|
Quote from: Jet City Hustle on December 02, 2013, 10:01:43 PM
Never mind all that stuff. I need an answer to the IMPORTANT question:
Will OutKast release a new album?
Outkast will in fact release a new album.
And we will wish they hadn't. Their 7 year hiatus resulted in obesity and atrophied vocal chords, and Big Boi got hooked on the pot.
Quote from: Slippils on December 02, 2013, 10:07:08 PM
Will I get a significant other? :|
Well, let's just ask if you really WANT one. You live in Europe. Your potential significant others are even hairier than you are, and they all have thick necks and names like Olga.
However, for mysterious reasons, Europeans continue to manage reproduction (my guess is that vodka is involved), and therefore you very well might. In fact you WILL, if you stop worrying about it so much.
And then you'll be sorry.
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on December 02, 2013, 09:54:09 PM
Next big politician and church scandals, please.
Bonus points if poop is involved.
Pope Francis found to actually be Andy Kaufmann, who has been faking his death for years.
Ted Cruz to be found in a bathroom stall with Larry Craig and Snooky. Wide stance and all.
Rick Perry will have a Boehner-esque breakdown on national TV, when it becomes clear to him that WHAM! will never have a reunion tour.
Texas! Will I be some how involved with Galveston being swallowed by the ocean?
When will the Dutch surpass the Greeks on the Fascism scoreboard?
Quote from: Officer What's His /b/ear on December 02, 2013, 11:56:52 PM
Texas! Will I be some how involved with Galveston being swallowed by the ocean?
It doesn't matter, because nobody will NOTICE. It's GALVESTON.
Quote from: :regret: on December 02, 2013, 11:56:59 PM
When will the Dutch surpass the Greeks on the Fascism scoreboard?
Never.
Greece manufactures crazy for Europe the way Tucson does for North America. Much like the wannabe Florida, the Dutch will never regain the heights they enjoyed during their heyday.
Who are going to be the politicians in either party that will generate buzz and speculation when people invariably start wondering about the presidential election that's still two whole fucking years away?
Bonus question, will they actually throw their hat in the ring?
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 03, 2013, 02:06:02 AM
Who are going to be the politicians in either party that will generate buzz and speculation when people invariably start wondering about the presidential election that's still two whole fucking years away?
Bonus question, will they actually throw their hat in the ring?
The following asshats will declare:
GOP:
Rick Perry (Duh)
Rick Santorum (Duh)
Sarah Palin. No shit.
Ted Cruz (will drop out almost immediately)
Chris Christie. He will be beaten like a dog in the streets, because he isn't to the right of Attila the Hun.
Democrats:
Hillary Clinton.
That's it. She will kill anyone else who announces with her very own teeth. The secret service will pretend to not notice.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on December 03, 2013, 02:13:36 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 03, 2013, 02:06:02 AM
Who are going to be the politicians in either party that will generate buzz and speculation when people invariably start wondering about the presidential election that's still two whole fucking years away?
Bonus question, will they actually throw their hat in the ring?
The following asshats will declare:
GOP:
Rick Perry (Duh)
Rick Santorum (Duh)
Sarah Palin. No shit.
Ted Cruz (will drop out almost immediately)
Chris Christie. He will be beaten like a dog in the streets, because he isn't to the right of Attila the Hun.
Democrats:
Hillary Clinton.
That's it. She will kill anyone else who announces with her very own teeth. The secret service will pretend to not notice.
Sounds pretty plausible actually.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on December 02, 2013, 10:18:58 PM
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on December 02, 2013, 09:54:09 PM
Next big politician and church scandals, please.
Bonus points if poop is involved.
Pope Francis found to actually be Andy Kaufmann, who has been faking his death for years.
Ted Cruz to be found in a bathroom stall with Larry Craig and Snooky. Wide stance and all.
Rick Perry will have a Boehner-esque breakdown on national TV, when it becomes clear to him that WHAM! will never have a reunion tour.
Thanks. I look forward to these things. :lulz:
What will become of Syria?
Also, which election candidate is going to be caught naked masturbating in the streets? Will the blame stress or troubles at work?
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 03, 2013, 08:57:06 AM
What will become of Syria?
Also, which election candidate is going to be caught naked masturbating in the streets? Will the blame stress or troubles at work?
1. It will become something like Somalia, with a descending spiral of madness and fratricidal war, more or less forever. Certainly for the year of 2012.
2. None of them. That's Robert Tilton's job.
Screw politics. Let's get down to what really matters in the world. I have $10,000* burning a hole in my pocket, and I want to hit it big in Vegas. So who's going to win the Super Bowl in February?
*Well, technically I'm short $9,999. :sad:
Celebrity death list, please!
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on December 03, 2013, 03:00:45 PM
Celebrity death list, please!
And celebrity arrests for paedophilia as well while you're at it.
I've
still got a fiver on Bruce Forsyth.
Quote from: Móði on December 03, 2013, 02:33:45 PM
Screw politics. Let's get down to what really matters in the world. I have $10,000* burning a hole in my pocket, and I want to hit it big in Vegas. So who's going to win the Super Bowl in February?
*Well, technically I'm short $9,999. :sad:
Unfortunately, my sources on the NFL dried up 9 years ago. So I sent those sources to Nigel, and she hung them over her computer, as a warning to the others. Seriously.
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on December 03, 2013, 03:00:45 PM
Celebrity death list, please!
Gimme a little while on this one.
Which Tea Party radical is going to take a shot at the Pope?
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 03, 2013, 03:18:08 PM
Which Tea Party radical is going to take a shot at the Pope?
As in, with a rifle? None of them.
In terms of verbal attack? Limbaugh beat you to it, last week. The Pope is "socialist, Marxist, maybe even communist".
Because Jesus never would have fed POOR PEOPLE.
Really? No one's going to try to kill the Pope?
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 03, 2013, 03:31:23 PM
Really? No one's going to try to kill the Pope?
No TEABAGGER is going to kill the Pope. If they had anyone left with that level of balls, they'd be gunning for Obama or Holder.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 03, 2013, 03:31:23 PM
Really? No one's going to try to kill the Pope?
This is the last Pope. Apocalyptic nutbag.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy_of_the_Popes
(Also Law of Fives all up in that)
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 03, 2013, 03:38:59 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 03, 2013, 03:31:23 PM
Really? No one's going to try to kill the Pope?
This is the last Pope. Apocalyptic nutbag.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy_of_the_Popes
(Also Law of Fives all up in that)
Do you know how many times I have been let down by prophecies of doom?
Any idea?
You want a prophecy of doom, I'll fucking GIVE you a prophecy of doom that you'll never fucking forget.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on December 03, 2013, 03:50:19 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 03, 2013, 03:38:59 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 03, 2013, 03:31:23 PM
Really? No one's going to try to kill the Pope?
This is the last Pope. Apocalyptic nutbag.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy_of_the_Popes
(Also Law of Fives all up in that)
Do you know how many times I have been let down by prophecies of doom?
Any idea?
You want a prophecy of doom, I'll fucking GIVE you a prophecy of doom that you'll never fucking forget.
Yes, please.
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 03, 2013, 03:57:41 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on December 03, 2013, 03:50:19 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 03, 2013, 03:38:59 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 03, 2013, 03:31:23 PM
Really? No one's going to try to kill the Pope?
This is the last Pope. Apocalyptic nutbag.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy_of_the_Popes
(Also Law of Fives all up in that)
Do you know how many times I have been let down by prophecies of doom?
Any idea?
You want a prophecy of doom, I'll fucking GIVE you a prophecy of doom that you'll never fucking forget.
Yes, please.
"Things will continue much the way they are now, staggering along on the hair edge of collapse, just like everything everywhere ever. Then one day, you'll close your eyes and they'll never open again, and that's all you need to know about the future."
In short, the world isn't going anywhere, but we all eventually will.
And that's the pisser. You aren't the main character. The world won't end when you do.
What graduate school am I going to actually attend out of the following to which I have applied/will be applying?
University of Rhode Island
University of Connecticut
University of New Hampshire
University of South Florida
University of California, Los Angeles
Hahvahd
Quote from: Suu on December 03, 2013, 04:53:03 PM
What graduate school am I going to actually attend out of the following to which I have applied/will be applying?
University of Rhode Island
University of Connecticut
University of New Hampshire
University of South Florida
University of California, Los Angeles
Hahvahd
None of them will exist by the time you are enrolled, for reasons that I will not go into.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on December 03, 2013, 03:50:19 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 03, 2013, 03:38:59 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 03, 2013, 03:31:23 PM
Really? No one's going to try to kill the Pope?
This is the last Pope. Apocalyptic nutbag.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy_of_the_Popes
(Also Law of Fives all up in that)
Do you know how many times I have been let down by prophecies of doom?
Any idea?
You want a prophecy of doom, I'll fucking GIVE you a prophecy of doom that you'll never fucking forget.
"Presidents elected in years ending in '0' always die in office" comes to mind.
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on December 03, 2013, 05:27:52 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on December 03, 2013, 03:50:19 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 03, 2013, 03:38:59 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 03, 2013, 03:31:23 PM
Really? No one's going to try to kill the Pope?
This is the last Pope. Apocalyptic nutbag.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy_of_the_Popes
(Also Law of Fives all up in that)
Do you know how many times I have been let down by prophecies of doom?
Any idea?
You want a prophecy of doom, I'll fucking GIVE you a prophecy of doom that you'll never fucking forget.
"Presidents elected in years ending in '0' always die in office" comes to mind.
Reagan and Bush 43 had "arrangements".
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on December 03, 2013, 05:29:10 PM
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on December 03, 2013, 05:27:52 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on December 03, 2013, 03:50:19 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on December 03, 2013, 03:38:59 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 03, 2013, 03:31:23 PM
Really? No one's going to try to kill the Pope?
This is the last Pope. Apocalyptic nutbag.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy_of_the_Popes
(Also Law of Fives all up in that)
Do you know how many times I have been let down by prophecies of doom?
Any idea?
You want a prophecy of doom, I'll fucking GIVE you a prophecy of doom that you'll never fucking forget.
"Presidents elected in years ending in '0' always die in office" comes to mind.
Reagan and Bush 43 had "arrangements".
Something like this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWdw75IzolU), I'm guessing.
Why is the sky?
Do you know the times?
Why do fools fall in love?
Butts for by pie?
Quote from: Chelagoras The Boulder on December 04, 2013, 12:41:08 AM
Why is the sky?
Do you know the times?
Why do fools fall in love?
Butts for by pie?
You'll die on the railroad tracks, sonny boy. :crankey:
Can a recip saw be a precision instrument? My sources say no, but my experience is telling me otherwise.
Is the banking system going to fail before or after I pay off my credit card?
Quote from: Richter on December 04, 2013, 03:11:11 AM
Can a recip saw be a precision instrument? My sources say no, but my experience is telling me otherwise.
Of course it can. For a given value of precision.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on December 04, 2013, 07:14:28 AM
Is the banking system going to fail before or after I pay off my credit card?
After, obviously.
Went to a Quaker meeting - felt inspired and delivered "ministry".
Oh, they beat the shit out of me.
What did I do wrong?
Quote from: Richter on December 04, 2013, 03:32:23 PM
Went to a Quaker meeting - felt inspired and delivered "ministry".
Oh, they beat the shit out of me.
What did I do wrong?
You fucked with Quakers. They're almost as bad as the Amish Mafia. You know better than this. Richard Nixon was a Quaker, for fuck's sake. What the hell where you thinking?
Were you...
Were you trying to sharpen the Quakers? Dear lord, that would be terrifying!
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 04, 2013, 03:58:13 PM
Were you...
Were you trying to sharpen the Quakers? Dear lord, that would be terrifying!
The guy on the oatmeal box is scary enough already.
(https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-UJ3HJ0FHmYY/Up9UNqUP1_I/AAAAAAAAA4s/EI3sCYcdSyo/w564-h492-no/Quaker+Shark.JPG)
:shudder:
:lulz:
Thanks a lot, Richter.
NOW SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE!?
:lulz:
Also, Quakers! Secret History! It still needs doing. Hmm.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on December 04, 2013, 04:22:14 PM
:lulz:
Also, Quakers! Secret History! It still needs doing. Hmm.
Sounds like it could be an idea that you could pitch to the History Channel. you got to have an angle though. They seem to like aliens and Nostradamus, which is fine and all, but they're itching for a fresh angle, I'm guessing. May that Quakers are the only thing that has kept interdimensional things from crossing over?
Quakers funded the Nazis with alien technology to send the Jews back to Utah.
Will my beard finally wither and die? And will the Fascists in Greece spread to Sweden? And, Angela Merkele, I have a bad feeling about her. Why?
Quote from: Waffleman on December 05, 2013, 01:51:57 PM
Will my beard finally wither and die? And will the Fascists in Greece spread to Sweden? And, Angela Merkele, I have a bad feeling about her. Why?
Your beard will be terrorizing Belgian women long after you're gone, pal.
No.
Because she's a lizard.
What will the ultimate fate of Nickelback be?
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on December 06, 2013, 01:05:05 AM
What will the ultimate fate of Nickelback be?
Reunion tours in 2045.
(https://scontent-b-pao.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/1012473_221828974662053_1518611469_n.jpg)
That guy is adorable!
Speaking of which, will our monkey underlords finally take over in 2014?