Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Apple Talk => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2013, 01:42:53 AM

Title: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2013, 01:42:53 AM
Average day of an atheist:
-9:22 a.m. Wake up feeling terrible, hungover from the previous night.
-9:45 a.m. Stumble over empty vodka bottles on the way to the bathroom.
-10:00 a.m. Stare into the mirror thinking about your sad, pointless life and your inevitable date with Satan.
-10:05 a.m. Shave.
-10:16 a.m. Wonder where your life went wrong-- "Oh yeah, that's right--- avoiding church and rebuking Almighty God is how I became a hopeless wretch," you say to yourself.
-11:05 a.m. Porn on computer.
-1:36 p.m. Mailman arrives with Government handout check.
-3:31 p.m. Call your drug dealer for more of the pot drugs to dull your pain.
-4:02 p.m. The Pot Drug dealer arrives with illegal drug delivery and a complementary Obama campaign lapel pin.
-4:22 p.m. Regular porn won't do it for you any more, so it's on to Homogay porn.
-5:06 p.m. Call a guy offering sodomy for sale on Craigslist.
-6:00 p.m. More The pot drugs.
-7:00 p.m. More porn.
-8:33 p.m. Pledge allegiance to Obama and satan
-9:10 p.m. Call another guy on Craigslist.
-9:52 p.m. Drive to liquor store, guzzling liquor all the way home.
-10:22 p.m. More The Pot drugs.
-11:42 p.m. Pass out, drugged up and drunk on the floor of the bathroom. And Repeat till you accept Jesus... Amen.
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: Ben Shapiro on December 10, 2013, 01:48:14 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on December 10, 2013, 01:42:53 AM
Average day of an atheist:
-9:22 a.m. Wake up feeling terrible, hungover from the previous night.
-9:45 a.m. Stumble over empty vodka bottles on the way to the bathroom.
-10:00 a.m. Stare into the mirror thinking about your sad, pointless life and your inevitable date with Satan.
-10:05 a.m. Shave.
-10:16 a.m. Wonder where your life went wrong-- "Oh yeah, that's right--- avoiding church and rebuking Almighty God is how I became a hopeless wretch," you say to yourself.
-11:05 a.m. Porn on computer.
-1:36 p.m. Mailman arrives with Government handout check.
-3:31 p.m. Call your drug dealer for more of the pot drugs to dull your pain.
-4:02 p.m. The Pot Drug dealer arrives with illegal drug delivery and a complementary Obama campaign lapel pin.
-4:22 p.m. Regular porn won't do it for you any more, so it's on to Homogay porn.
-5:06 p.m. Call a guy offering sodomy for sale on Craigslist.
-6:00 p.m. More The pot drugs.
-7:00 p.m. More porn.
-8:33 p.m. Pledge allegiance to Obama and satan
-9:10 p.m. Call another guy on Craigslist.
-9:52 p.m. Drive to liquor store, guzzling liquor all the way home.
-10:22 p.m. More The Pot drugs.
-11:42 p.m. Pass out, drugged up and drunk on the floor of the bathroom. And Repeat till you accept Jesus... Amen.

Hahaha!
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on December 10, 2013, 01:56:03 AM
Uncle Roger,
if I smoke the pot will that make me an atheist too? Or is it just that atheists happen to be a particular variety of pot addicts?
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2013, 01:58:04 AM
Quote from: THE PHYTOPHTHORATIC HOLDER OF THE ADVANCED DEGREE on December 10, 2013, 01:56:03 AM
Uncle Roger,
if I smoke the pot will that make me an atheist too? Or is it just that atheists happen to be a particular variety of pot addicts?

Smoking The Pot might.  Injecting The Pot WILL.
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on December 10, 2013, 01:58:44 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on December 10, 2013, 01:58:04 AM
Quote from: THE PHYTOPHTHORATIC HOLDER OF THE ADVANCED DEGREE on December 10, 2013, 01:56:03 AM
Uncle Roger,
if I smoke the pot will that make me an atheist too? Or is it just that atheists happen to be a particular variety of pot addicts?

Smoking The Pot might.  Injecting The Pot WILL.

Oh dear, I don't want to inject the pot then.
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: Ben Shapiro on December 10, 2013, 02:04:44 AM
I drank 7 pots yesterday am I doomed to hell?
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2013, 02:05:03 AM
Quote from: Officer What's His /b/ear on December 10, 2013, 02:04:44 AM
I drank 7 pots yesterday am I doomed to hell?

You'd be dead.  Looser.
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: Ben Shapiro on December 10, 2013, 02:06:27 AM
I just need a little more that's all.
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: Junkenstein on December 10, 2013, 08:24:02 AM
I caught little Billy snorting the pot. How severely should I beat him?
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 10, 2013, 08:26:41 AM
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 10, 2013, 08:24:02 AM
I caught little Billy snorting the pot. How severely should I beat him?

All the way.
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: Junkenstein on December 10, 2013, 08:30:09 AM
Yes, but raw or bloody? I need to be sure.
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: Reginald Ret on December 10, 2013, 09:06:23 AM
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 10, 2013, 08:30:09 AM
Yes, but raw or bloody? I need to be sure.
No, that is not far enough. Sharpen that beltbuckle!
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on December 10, 2013, 11:38:18 AM
I accidentally the pot.

And it was God's fucking fault  :argh!:
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2013, 02:24:37 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 10, 2013, 08:24:02 AM
I caught little Billy snorting the pot. How severely should I beat him?

To death.  As a lesson to the others.

And while he might be dead, at least he will no longer be enslaved to the demon The Pot Drug.
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2013, 02:24:52 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on December 10, 2013, 11:38:18 AM
I accidentally the pot.

And it was God's fucking fault  :argh!:

You're fucked forever.
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: Junkenstein on December 10, 2013, 02:34:55 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on December 10, 2013, 02:24:37 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 10, 2013, 08:24:02 AM
I caught little Billy snorting the pot. How severely should I beat him?

To death.  As a lesson to the others.

And while he might be dead, at least he will no longer be enslaved to the demon The Pot Drug.

Now this was my first reaction and indeed what I did with little Jimmy. And Little Timmy. And Steve.

They just don't seem to be getting the message. POT KILLS.
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on December 10, 2013, 03:48:21 PM
I heard that George Washington smoked the pot. And now he's dead.

Is this true?
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: LMNO on December 10, 2013, 03:59:34 PM
So, if one's reaction was along the lines of, "Huh. Wasn't expecting that," would that still be considered microagression?

Because, as we've discussed, we all have some sort of narrative in our heads, and that narrative is often wrong.
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on December 10, 2013, 04:01:53 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 10, 2013, 03:59:34 PM
So, if one's reaction was along the lines of, "Huh. Wasn't expecting that," would that still be considered microagression?

Because, as we've discussed, we all have some sort of narrative in our heads, and that narrative is often wrong.

Wrong thread.

Are you on the pot RIGHT NOW?
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: Junkenstein on December 10, 2013, 04:10:19 PM
Quote from: THE PHYTOPHTHORATIC HOLDER OF THE ADVANCED DEGREE on December 10, 2013, 04:01:53 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 10, 2013, 03:59:34 PM
So, if one's reaction was along the lines of, "Huh. Wasn't expecting that," would that still be considered microagression?

Because, as we've discussed, we all have some sort of narrative in our heads, and that narrative is often wrong.

Wrong thread.

Are you on the pot RIGHT NOW?

This is PD. Everyone is on the pot all the time. Apart from Roger, but that's because he's on the crack.
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on December 10, 2013, 04:14:05 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 10, 2013, 04:10:19 PM
Quote from: THE PHYTOPHTHORATIC HOLDER OF THE ADVANCED DEGREE on December 10, 2013, 04:01:53 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 10, 2013, 03:59:34 PM
So, if one's reaction was along the lines of, "Huh. Wasn't expecting that," would that still be considered microagression?

Because, as we've discussed, we all have some sort of narrative in our heads, and that narrative is often wrong.

Wrong thread.

Are you on the pot RIGHT NOW?

This is PD. Everyone is on the pot all the time. Apart from Roger, but that's because he's on the crack.

:lulz:
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: LMNO on December 10, 2013, 04:32:30 PM
I am ON THE POT.


:craig:
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on December 10, 2013, 04:33:06 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 10, 2013, 04:32:30 PM
I am ON THE POT.


:craig:

:spittake:
Title: Re: The Average Day for an Atheist (taken from Christians Against the Pot)
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 10, 2013, 06:35:16 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on December 10, 2013, 04:10:19 PM
Quote from: THE PHYTOPHTHORATIC HOLDER OF THE ADVANCED DEGREE on December 10, 2013, 04:01:53 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 10, 2013, 03:59:34 PM
So, if one's reaction was along the lines of, "Huh. Wasn't expecting that," would that still be considered microagression?

Because, as we've discussed, we all have some sort of narrative in our heads, and that narrative is often wrong.

Wrong thread.

Are you on the pot RIGHT NOW?

This is PD. Everyone is on the pot all the time. Apart from Roger, but that's because he's on the crack.

I sneer at your common street The Drugs.  I am a Holy Man™ and thus stick strictly to religious substances as blessed by St Benzo of Diazapine.