I was reading a book last night, and I heard the sound of mumbling from the walk in closet. Naturally, I figured it was Crazy Jeff or one of my other pals, here for his Great Big Payback. Perhaps Greg, who has never forgiven me for making him drink out of the hot tub in 2009. In any case, it was really ever only a matter of time before one (or more) of my enemies came to settle the score.
I got up and walked over to the closet, stopping at the dresser to fish out my pistol. But when I got to the closet, I realized that the noise was actually coming from the attic, which is accessed through a hatch in the roof of the closet. I could definitely hear it, now...It sounded like a dozen people or so having a very quiet but intense argument. Time to call the exterminator, I suppose. Powerful big rats out here in the desert. Powerful big.
Thing is, when I walked to the bedroom door, I found that it had been sealed shut with putty. Same thing for the door out to the upstairs balcony. I grabbed my cell phone and dialed 911.
"911 Operator, what is the nature of your emergency?"
"I have intruders in my house."
"Where in the house?"
"In my attic."
"Sorry, we are currently unable to assist you. We suggest you contact an exorcist."
"A what? Look, there are people in my attic."
"No, there aren't."
"I can hear them."
"What makes you think they're people? In any case I have to keep this line open for emergencies which we are capable of dealing with. Injuries, fires, that sort of thing. No paranormal activity or weird physics. Goodbye." She hung up.
I dialed again, hoping to get an operator that wasn't insane. In the closet, the voices were getting a bit louder. The phone rang for perhaps 30 seconds, and then connected. All that came out was a screaming noise, like a whole stadium full of people screaming in terror. I slammed the phone shut.
I figured I'd better wake my wife up, in case things became dangerous...But when I shook her, I discovered that what looked like her in the bed was just a bunch of pillows under the covers.
Then I froze, as I heard the attic hatch screech open.
With my wife missing, there was no reason to find out what was coming out of the attic, so I grabbed a sheet, held it in front of me, and jumped through the bay windows. Or tried to, at any rate. What actually happened is that I bounced off them like I'd hit a brick wall, landing in a heap on the floor. Looking up, I noticed that the windows were just paintings on the wall.
I heard something - someone - drop out of the attic into the closet. Then another. I jacked a round into my pistol, and tried to get to my feet...But I was hopelessly tangled in the sheets.
Footsteps came out of the closet. I twisted around and aimed the pistol towards the noise.
From the closet came two men dressed in revolution-era clothing. One was Nathan Hale, his head flopping around on his broken neck, and the other a Black man with a wound in his head.
"Stop where you are, or I'll shoot", I screamed, feeling very foolish. These two men are already dead.
The Black man smiled. "Go ahead, I've been shot before." Hale just laughed, a horrible gurgling noise. They walked over and grabbed the sheet, and started hauling me across the floor to the closet. As they did so, the Black man said, "My name is Crispus Attucks. We're going to get to know each other really well."
"Why are you doing this?"
"Because we all died for a principle that has been shat upon ever since. We don't hate the yahoos that do the shitting. They can't help themselves; they are a product of their time. You, on the other hand, you know better. But all you do is talk...And while you talk, everything goes to hell in a handbasket. So now you get to go to hell, too."
They hauled me up into the attic. For a brief moment, I could see that the attic floor was packed with people laying side by side. Some were dressed in revolutionary outfits, some in world war two uniforms. Sacco and Venzetti were there. So was Joe Hill. They all looked at me, and began to grin.
Then the hatch slammed shut, and the attic was plunged into darkness.
GAH!
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on January 27, 2014, 04:07:08 PM
GAH!
That was one of those "fly right out of the bed like Jackie Chan at 4 AM" things.
I like it, but will have to google those names.
Quote from: Alty on January 27, 2014, 06:58:27 PM
I like it, but will have to google those names.
:sad: You make me sad.
Jesus H. Christ, DOUR. :eek:
Quote from: Waffleman on January 27, 2014, 07:12:04 PM
Jesus H. Christ, DOUR. :eek:
My head is full of tiny weasels.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 27, 2014, 07:12:46 PM
Quote from: Waffleman on January 27, 2014, 07:12:04 PM
Jesus H. Christ, DOUR. :eek:
My head is full of tiny weasels.
Tiny, angry weasels. Sweet and salty shit biscuits, Roger, I don't know if I'd sleep again after that shit.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 27, 2014, 08:14:22 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 27, 2014, 07:12:46 PM
Quote from: Waffleman on January 27, 2014, 07:12:04 PM
Jesus H. Christ, DOUR. :eek:
My head is full of tiny weasels.
Tiny, angry weasels. Sweet and salty shit biscuits, Roger, I don't know if I'd sleep again after that shit.
PILLS HERE
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 27, 2014, 08:16:31 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 27, 2014, 08:14:22 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 27, 2014, 07:12:46 PM
Quote from: Waffleman on January 27, 2014, 07:12:04 PM
Jesus H. Christ, DOUR. :eek:
My head is full of tiny weasels.
Tiny, angry weasels. Sweet and salty shit biscuits, Roger, I don't know if I'd sleep again after that shit.
PILLS HERE
Sounds delightful.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 27, 2014, 08:17:26 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 27, 2014, 08:16:31 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 27, 2014, 08:14:22 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 27, 2014, 07:12:46 PM
Quote from: Waffleman on January 27, 2014, 07:12:04 PM
Jesus H. Christ, DOUR. :eek:
My head is full of tiny weasels.
Tiny, angry weasels. Sweet and salty shit biscuits, Roger, I don't know if I'd sleep again after that shit.
PILLS HERE
Sounds delightful.
I'm a festival.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 27, 2014, 08:18:37 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 27, 2014, 08:17:26 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 27, 2014, 08:16:31 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 27, 2014, 08:14:22 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 27, 2014, 07:12:46 PM
Quote from: Waffleman on January 27, 2014, 07:12:04 PM
Jesus H. Christ, DOUR. :eek:
My head is full of tiny weasels.
Tiny, angry weasels. Sweet and salty shit biscuits, Roger, I don't know if I'd sleep again after that shit.
PILLS HERE
Sounds delightful.
I'm a festival.
A festival for the angry weasels dancing a gavotte in your cerebral cortex.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 27, 2014, 08:18:37 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 27, 2014, 08:17:26 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 27, 2014, 08:16:31 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 27, 2014, 08:14:22 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 27, 2014, 07:12:46 PM
Quote from: Waffleman on January 27, 2014, 07:12:04 PM
Jesus H. Christ, DOUR. :eek:
My head is full of tiny weasels.
Tiny, angry weasels. Sweet and salty shit biscuits, Roger, I don't know if I'd sleep again after that shit.
PILLS HERE
Sounds delightful.
I'm a festival.
I'm afraid to walk into the Haunted House..
OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD.
ADGJKDFSGJK
GUH
That was a little bit fucking amazing.
Quote from: Nigel's Red Velveteen Skinmeat Snacks on January 28, 2014, 03:14:57 AM
ADGJKDFSGJK
GUH
That was a little bit fucking amazing.
Thanks. My head is like an amusement park, really. Only maybe the maintenance hasn't really been done on the rides, and the carnies all died and meth heads stagger around touching themselves.
You're in the dark with a bunch if maimed and broken figures and you're the worst thing in there.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on January 28, 2014, 03:54:15 AM
You're in the dark with a bunch if maimed and broken figures and you're the worst thing in there.
No, I think I get ripped to bits. But that's a good idea for a story.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 28, 2014, 03:16:58 AM
Quote from: Nigel's Red Velveteen Skinmeat Snacks on January 28, 2014, 03:14:57 AM
ADGJKDFSGJK
GUH
That was a little bit fucking amazing.
Thanks. My head is like an amusement park, really. Only maybe the maintenance hasn't really been done on the rides, and the carnies all died and meth heads stagger around touching themselves.
Last night I dreamed I dropped an antique and it broke.
*slides all the money to DOUR*
You win. Like, x infinity.
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on January 28, 2014, 04:20:28 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 28, 2014, 03:16:58 AM
Quote from: Nigel's Red Velveteen Skinmeat Snacks on January 28, 2014, 03:14:57 AM
ADGJKDFSGJK
GUH
That was a little bit fucking amazing.
Thanks. My head is like an amusement park, really. Only maybe the maintenance hasn't really been done on the rides, and the carnies all died and meth heads stagger around touching themselves.
Last night I dreamed I dropped an antique and it broke.
*slides all the money to DOUR*
You win. Like, x infinity.
I had a nightmare in Germany, about getting drunk in a beer garden and pissing all over the carpet. You know, one of those drunks where you surface for just a minute RIGHT WHEN YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING TO SHAME YOURSELF.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 28, 2014, 04:23:17 AM
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on January 28, 2014, 04:20:28 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 28, 2014, 03:16:58 AM
Quote from: Nigel's Red Velveteen Skinmeat Snacks on January 28, 2014, 03:14:57 AM
ADGJKDFSGJK
GUH
That was a little bit fucking pretty commonplace.
Thanks. My head is like an amusement park, really. Only maybe the maintenance hasn't really been done on the rides, and the carnies all died and meth heads stagger around touching themselves.
Last night I dreamed I dropped an antique and it broke.
*slides all the money to DOUR*
You win. Like, x infinity.
I had a nightmare in Germany, about getting drunk in a beer garden and pissing all over the carpet. You know, one of those drunks where you surface for just a minute RIGHT WHEN YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING TO SHAME YOURSELF.
As an incredibly happy drunk, I don't think I've had that particular moment. No, instead I've had those moments where I review the night before and go, Ohhhh my god, did I really SAY that? Why did I SAY that? And then I have to gently dissuade someone I was really enthusiastic about from thinking I am their soulmate.
Not because I said I was their soulmate, but because I was REALLY ENCOURAGING. I go into a mode where I am all YOU'RE AWESOME! EVERYTHING IS AWESOME! LET'S BURN THINGS!
"LET'S BURN THINGS!" is actually a pretty good line. People are strange. :lulz:
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on January 28, 2014, 05:07:03 AM
"LET'S BURN THINGS!" is actually a pretty good line. People are strange. :lulz:
It's kind of my default line for when I get uncomfortable.
This was killer. Crispus Attucks doesn't get nearly enough play.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 28, 2014, 03:16:58 AM
Quote from: Nigel's Red Velveteen Skinmeat Snacks on January 28, 2014, 03:14:57 AM
ADGJKDFSGJK
GUH
That was a little bit fucking amazing.
Thanks. My head is like an amusement park, really. Only maybe the maintenance hasn't really been done on the rides, and the carnies all died and meth heads stagger around touching themselves.
First thing that came to mind.
(http://lh6.ggpht.com/_dlkAw43cLC0/Sco7tQmGUTI/AAAAAAAAECU/bdhbUB-n7g0/s800/Chernobyl-Today-A-Creepy-Story-told-in-Pictures-funfair.jpg)
Quote from: Nigel's Red Velveteen Skinmeat Snacks on January 28, 2014, 04:54:23 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 28, 2014, 04:23:17 AM
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on January 28, 2014, 04:20:28 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 28, 2014, 03:16:58 AM
Quote from: Nigel's Red Velveteen Skinmeat Snacks on January 28, 2014, 03:14:57 AM
ADGJKDFSGJK
GUH
That was a little bit fucking pretty commonplace.
Thanks. My head is like an amusement park, really. Only maybe the maintenance hasn't really been done on the rides, and the carnies all died and meth heads stagger around touching themselves.
Last night I dreamed I dropped an antique and it broke.
*slides all the money to DOUR*
You win. Like, x infinity.
I had a nightmare in Germany, about getting drunk in a beer garden and pissing all over the carpet. You know, one of those drunks where you surface for just a minute RIGHT WHEN YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING TO SHAME YOURSELF.
As an incredibly happy drunk, I don't think I've had that particular moment. No, instead I've had those moments where I review the night before and go, Ohhhh my god, did I really SAY that? Why did I SAY that? And then I have to gently dissuade someone I was really enthusiastic about from thinking I am their soulmate.
Same exact thing, except you realize it as it happens. You just can't do anything about it.
Quote from: Jet City Hustle on January 28, 2014, 08:19:02 AM
This was killer. Crispus Attucks doesn't get nearly enough play.
Thanks.
Quote from: Waffleman on January 28, 2014, 10:29:15 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 28, 2014, 03:16:58 AM
Quote from: Nigel's Red Velveteen Skinmeat Snacks on January 28, 2014, 03:14:57 AM
ADGJKDFSGJK
GUH
That was a little bit fucking amazing.
Thanks. My head is like an amusement park, really. Only maybe the maintenance hasn't really been done on the rides, and the carnies all died and meth heads stagger around touching themselves.
First thing that came to mind.
(http://lh6.ggpht.com/_dlkAw43cLC0/Sco7tQmGUTI/AAAAAAAAECU/bdhbUB-n7g0/s800/Chernobyl-Today-A-Creepy-Story-told-in-Pictures-funfair.jpg)
Background is perfect. Now add the "people".
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 28, 2014, 05:38:01 PM
Quote from: Waffleman on January 28, 2014, 10:29:15 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 28, 2014, 03:16:58 AM
Quote from: Nigel's Red Velveteen Skinmeat Snacks on January 28, 2014, 03:14:57 AM
ADGJKDFSGJK
GUH
That was a little bit fucking amazing.
Thanks. My head is like an amusement park, really. Only maybe the maintenance hasn't really been done on the rides, and the carnies all died and meth heads stagger around touching themselves.
First thing that came to mind.
(http://lh6.ggpht.com/_dlkAw43cLC0/Sco7tQmGUTI/AAAAAAAAECU/bdhbUB-n7g0/s800/Chernobyl-Today-A-Creepy-Story-told-in-Pictures-funfair.jpg)
Background is perfect. Now add the "people".
Now I know why I don't dream this stuff.
That would be my WAKING reality.
At least my nightmares are politely fantastical. I think my brain would jump out my ear if they were like this.
At one point waking up screaming was somewhat normal; but my nightmares were repetitive and in black-and-white.
...Don't have nightmares anymore.
Will still occasionally sleep in jeans and a sweater and with the lights on anyway.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 05:47:37 PM
At least my nightmares are politely fantastical. I think my brain would jump out my ear if they were like this.
Nightmares are God handing you scary movies for free.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:15:42 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 05:47:37 PM
At least my nightmares are politely fantastical. I think my brain would jump out my ear if they were like this.
Nightmares are God handing you scary movies for free.
Never did like scary movies. Too loud. All that screaming.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 06:36:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:15:42 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 05:47:37 PM
At least my nightmares are politely fantastical. I think my brain would jump out my ear if they were like this.
Nightmares are God handing you scary movies for free.
Never did like scary movies. Too loud. All that screaming.
Point. My sleeping brain has no volume control.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:42:40 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 06:36:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:15:42 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 05:47:37 PM
At least my nightmares are politely fantastical. I think my brain would jump out my ear if they were like this.
Nightmares are God handing you scary movies for free.
Never did like scary movies. Too loud. All that screaming.
Point. My sleeping brain has no volume control.
I can smell things in my sleep that I can't smell when I'm awake. Sleeping brains are assholes.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 07:59:07 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:42:40 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 06:36:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:15:42 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 05:47:37 PM
At least my nightmares are politely fantastical. I think my brain would jump out my ear if they were like this.
Nightmares are God handing you scary movies for free.
Never did like scary movies. Too loud. All that screaming.
Point. My sleeping brain has no volume control.
I can smell things in my sleep that I can't smell when I'm awake. Sleeping brains are assholes.
Or awake brains are lazy underachievers. I think everyone should see in waking life what I see when I'm sleeping.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 08:01:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 07:59:07 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:42:40 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 06:36:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:15:42 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 05:47:37 PM
At least my nightmares are politely fantastical. I think my brain would jump out my ear if they were like this.
Nightmares are God handing you scary movies for free.
Never did like scary movies. Too loud. All that screaming.
Point. My sleeping brain has no volume control.
I can smell things in my sleep that I can't smell when I'm awake. Sleeping brains are assholes.
Or awake brains are lazy underachievers. I think everyone should see in waking life what I see when I'm sleeping.
I believe that's what haldol was made to keep from happening... :eek:
Quote from: Random anger problem on January 29, 2014, 09:21:27 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 08:01:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 07:59:07 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:42:40 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 06:36:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:15:42 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 05:47:37 PM
At least my nightmares are politely fantastical. I think my brain would jump out my ear if they were like this.
Nightmares are God handing you scary movies for free.
Never did like scary movies. Too loud. All that screaming.
Point. My sleeping brain has no volume control.
I can smell things in my sleep that I can't smell when I'm awake. Sleeping brains are assholes.
Or awake brains are lazy underachievers. I think everyone should see in waking life what I see when I'm sleeping.
I believe that's what haldol was made to keep from happening... :eek:
Keep your Godless drugs away from me, Woman. This is HOLY BUSINESS™.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 08:01:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 07:59:07 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:42:40 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 06:36:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:15:42 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 05:47:37 PM
At least my nightmares are politely fantastical. I think my brain would jump out my ear if they were like this.
Nightmares are God handing you scary movies for free.
Never did like scary movies. Too loud. All that screaming.
Point. My sleeping brain has no volume control.
I can smell things in my sleep that I can't smell when I'm awake. Sleeping brains are assholes.
Or awake brains are lazy underachievers. I think everyone should see in waking life what I see when I'm sleeping.
No thank you. I appreciate your very kind offer but at this time I must politely decline. Thank you for thinking of me, though.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 12:35:27 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 08:01:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 07:59:07 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:42:40 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 06:36:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:15:42 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 05:47:37 PM
At least my nightmares are politely fantastical. I think my brain would jump out my ear if they were like this.
Nightmares are God handing you scary movies for free.
Never did like scary movies. Too loud. All that screaming.
Point. My sleeping brain has no volume control.
I can smell things in my sleep that I can't smell when I'm awake. Sleeping brains are assholes.
Or awake brains are lazy underachievers. I think everyone should see in waking life what I see when I'm sleeping.
No thank you. I appreciate your very kind offer but at this time I must politely decline. Thank you for thinking of me, though.
SOME GUY WITH TEETH WHERE HIS EYES BELONG SAYS "YOU'RE WELCOME".
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 30, 2014, 01:02:46 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 12:35:27 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 08:01:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 07:59:07 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:42:40 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 06:36:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:15:42 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 05:47:37 PM
At least my nightmares are politely fantastical. I think my brain would jump out my ear if they were like this.
Nightmares are God handing you scary movies for free.
Never did like scary movies. Too loud. All that screaming.
Point. My sleeping brain has no volume control.
I can smell things in my sleep that I can't smell when I'm awake. Sleeping brains are assholes.
Or awake brains are lazy underachievers. I think everyone should see in waking life what I see when I'm sleeping.
No thank you. I appreciate your very kind offer but at this time I must politely decline. Thank you for thinking of me, though.
SOME GUY WITH TEETH WHERE HIS EYES BELONG SAYS "YOU'RE WELCOME".
I have had dreams about that guy. :eek: Pretty sure him and The Marrow Man are golf buddies.
I am either blessed or cursed. I haven't had a nightmare since I was a little kid, and the extremely rare times I can remember my dreams, they are quite banal. Hardly any weird shit at all.
Quote from: Cainad (dec.) on January 30, 2014, 01:13:45 AM
I am either blessed or cursed. I haven't had a nightmare since I was a little kid, and the extremely rare times I can remember my dreams, they are quite banal. Hardly any weird shit at all.
So you have to PAY to have the shit scared out of you?
Poor bastard.
Quote from: Cainad (dec.) on January 30, 2014, 01:13:45 AM
I am either blessed or cursed. I haven't had a nightmare since I was a little kid, and the extremely rare times I can remember my dreams, they are quite banal. Hardly any weird shit at all.
I kinda think you're an ax-murderer now. O.O
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 01:25:55 AM
Quote from: Cainad (dec.) on January 30, 2014, 01:13:45 AM
I am either blessed or cursed. I haven't had a nightmare since I was a little kid, and the extremely rare times I can remember my dreams, they are quite banal. Hardly any weird shit at all.
I kinda think you're an ax-murderer now. O.O
No, I've met Cainad, and he's more of a scalpel type. Very precise fellow, not prone to the huge waste of energy involved in swinging an axe around.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 30, 2014, 01:29:45 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 01:25:55 AM
Quote from: Cainad (dec.) on January 30, 2014, 01:13:45 AM
I am either blessed or cursed. I haven't had a nightmare since I was a little kid, and the extremely rare times I can remember my dreams, they are quite banal. Hardly any weird shit at all.
I kinda think you're an ax-murderer now. O.O
No, I've met Cainad, and he's more of a scalpel type. Very precise fellow, not prone to the huge waste of energy involved in swinging an axe around.
Well that's reassuring. Whew. Thanks, Roger, I was worried he'd be one of the messy ones. :P
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 30, 2014, 01:19:11 AM
Quote from: Cainad (dec.) on January 30, 2014, 01:13:45 AM
I am either blessed or cursed. I haven't had a nightmare since I was a little kid, and the extremely rare times I can remember my dreams, they are quite banal. Hardly any weird shit at all.
So you have to PAY to have the shit scared out of you?
Poor bastard.
Yeah, it's a terrible bother. All of my cold sweats have to be induced artificially.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 01:25:55 AM
Quote from: Cainad (dec.) on January 30, 2014, 01:13:45 AM
I am either blessed or cursed. I haven't had a nightmare since I was a little kid, and the extremely rare times I can remember my dreams, they are quite banal. Hardly any weird shit at all.
I kinda think you're an ax-murderer now. O.O
Perish the thought. Everything just gets shunted into my waking mind so I can get decent sleep. Why would that ever make me want to murder axes?
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 30, 2014, 01:29:45 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 01:25:55 AM
Quote from: Cainad (dec.) on January 30, 2014, 01:13:45 AM
I am either blessed or cursed. I haven't had a nightmare since I was a little kid, and the extremely rare times I can remember my dreams, they are quite banal. Hardly any weird shit at all.
I kinda think you're an ax-murderer now. O.O
No, I've met Cainad, and he's more of a scalpel type. Very precise fellow, not prone to the huge waste of energy involved in swinging an axe around.
Axes are for
wood, after all.
People using the wrong tools is what's wrong with everything. You've got people using the wrong tools for the right jobs, and you've got even more people using the wrong tools for the
wrong jobs.
No, no. It just won't do at all.
Quote from: Cainad (dec.) on January 30, 2014, 01:40:30 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 30, 2014, 01:29:45 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 01:25:55 AM
Quote from: Cainad (dec.) on January 30, 2014, 01:13:45 AM
I am either blessed or cursed. I haven't had a nightmare since I was a little kid, and the extremely rare times I can remember my dreams, they are quite banal. Hardly any weird shit at all.
I kinda think you're an ax-murderer now. O.O
No, I've met Cainad, and he's more of a scalpel type. Very precise fellow, not prone to the huge waste of energy involved in swinging an axe around.
Axes are for wood, after all.
People using the wrong tools is what's wrong with everything. You've got people using the wrong tools for the right jobs, and you've got even more people using the wrong tools for the wrong jobs.
No, no. It just won't do at all.
:lulz: That is brilliant. Why didn't ever think of things so clearly before??
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 01:59:10 AM
Quote from: Cainad (dec.) on January 30, 2014, 01:40:30 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 30, 2014, 01:29:45 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 01:25:55 AM
Quote from: Cainad (dec.) on January 30, 2014, 01:13:45 AM
I am either blessed or cursed. I haven't had a nightmare since I was a little kid, and the extremely rare times I can remember my dreams, they are quite banal. Hardly any weird shit at all.
I kinda think you're an ax-murderer now. O.O
No, I've met Cainad, and he's more of a scalpel type. Very precise fellow, not prone to the huge waste of energy involved in swinging an axe around.
Axes are for wood, after all.
People using the wrong tools is what's wrong with everything. You've got people using the wrong tools for the right jobs, and you've got even more people using the wrong tools for the wrong jobs.
No, no. It just won't do at all.
:lulz: That is brilliant. Why didn't ever think of things so clearly before??
Cainad has a way with these things.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 01:05:22 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 30, 2014, 01:02:46 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 12:35:27 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 08:01:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 07:59:07 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:42:40 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 06:36:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:15:42 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 05:47:37 PM
At least my nightmares are politely fantastical. I think my brain would jump out my ear if they were like this.
Nightmares are God handing you scary movies for free.
Never did like scary movies. Too loud. All that screaming.
Point. My sleeping brain has no volume control.
I can smell things in my sleep that I can't smell when I'm awake. Sleeping brains are assholes.
Or awake brains are lazy underachievers. I think everyone should see in waking life what I see when I'm sleeping.
No thank you. I appreciate your very kind offer but at this time I must politely decline. Thank you for thinking of me, though.
SOME GUY WITH TEETH WHERE HIS EYES BELONG SAYS "YOU'RE WELCOME".
I have had dreams about that guy. :eek: Pretty sure him and The Marrow Man are golf buddies.
The Corinthian has really bled into the IRL Dreaming?
Honestly, I'm Terified.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on January 30, 2014, 02:57:46 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 01:05:22 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 30, 2014, 01:02:46 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 12:35:27 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 08:01:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 07:59:07 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:42:40 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 06:36:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:15:42 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 05:47:37 PM
At least my nightmares are politely fantastical. I think my brain would jump out my ear if they were like this.
Nightmares are God handing you scary movies for free.
Never did like scary movies. Too loud. All that screaming.
Point. My sleeping brain has no volume control.
I can smell things in my sleep that I can't smell when I'm awake. Sleeping brains are assholes.
Or awake brains are lazy underachievers. I think everyone should see in waking life what I see when I'm sleeping.
No thank you. I appreciate your very kind offer but at this time I must politely decline. Thank you for thinking of me, though.
SOME GUY WITH TEETH WHERE HIS EYES BELONG SAYS "YOU'RE WELCOME".
I have had dreams about that guy. :eek: Pretty sure him and The Marrow Man are golf buddies.
The Corinthian has really bled into the IRL Dreaming?
Honestly, I'm Terified.
I had nightmares about that guy 20 years before Neil Gaiman did his schtick.
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 30, 2014, 03:02:13 AM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on January 30, 2014, 02:57:46 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 01:05:22 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 30, 2014, 01:02:46 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 12:35:27 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 08:01:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 07:59:07 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:42:40 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 06:36:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:15:42 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 05:47:37 PM
At least my nightmares are politely fantastical. I think my brain would jump out my ear if they were like this.
Nightmares are God handing you scary movies for free.
Never did like scary movies. Too loud. All that screaming.
Point. My sleeping brain has no volume control.
I can smell things in my sleep that I can't smell when I'm awake. Sleeping brains are assholes.
Or awake brains are lazy underachievers. I think everyone should see in waking life what I see when I'm sleeping.
No thank you. I appreciate your very kind offer but at this time I must politely decline. Thank you for thinking of me, though.
SOME GUY WITH TEETH WHERE HIS EYES BELONG SAYS "YOU'RE WELCOME".
I have had dreams about that guy. :eek: Pretty sure him and The Marrow Man are golf buddies.
The Corinthian has really bled into the IRL Dreaming?
Honestly, I'm Terified.
I had nightmares about that guy 20 years before Neil Gaiman did his schtick.
Before I knew who Neil Gaiman was, that feller used to pull me from my normal dreams of being naked on the school bus and tell me to kill my parents or he'd put my fingers in his eye sockets and bite them off.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 01:05:22 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 30, 2014, 01:02:46 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 12:35:27 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 08:01:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 07:59:07 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:42:40 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 06:36:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:15:42 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 05:47:37 PM
At least my nightmares are politely fantastical. I think my brain would jump out my ear if they were like this.
Nightmares are God handing you scary movies for free.
Never did like scary movies. Too loud. All that screaming.
Point. My sleeping brain has no volume control.
I can smell things in my sleep that I can't smell when I'm awake. Sleeping brains are assholes.
Or awake brains are lazy underachievers. I think everyone should see in waking life what I see when I'm sleeping.
No thank you. I appreciate your very kind offer but at this time I must politely decline. Thank you for thinking of me, though.
SOME GUY WITH TEETH WHERE HIS EYES BELONG SAYS "YOU'RE WELCOME".
I have had dreams about that guy. :eek: Pretty sure him and The Marrow Man are golf buddies.
(http://www.thekeep.org/~rpm/img/vertigo/mortalfates/corinthian.jpg)
This guy?
Great. Now PD is scarier than nightmares.
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 01:05:22 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 30, 2014, 01:02:46 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 12:35:27 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 08:01:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 07:59:07 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:42:40 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 06:36:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:15:42 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 05:47:37 PM
At least my nightmares are politely fantastical. I think my brain would jump out my ear if they were like this.
Nightmares are God handing you scary movies for free.
Never did like scary movies. Too loud. All that screaming.
Point. My sleeping brain has no volume control.
I can smell things in my sleep that I can't smell when I'm awake. Sleeping brains are assholes.
Or awake brains are lazy underachievers. I think everyone should see in waking life what I see when I'm sleeping.
No thank you. I appreciate your very kind offer but at this time I must politely decline. Thank you for thinking of me, though.
SOME GUY WITH TEETH WHERE HIS EYES BELONG SAYS "YOU'RE WELCOME".
I have had dreams about that guy. :eek: Pretty sure him and The Marrow Man are golf buddies.
Hey this reminds me.
Did you ever get your holiday letter?
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on January 30, 2014, 03:26:17 AM
Great. Now PD is scarier than nightmares.
You're telling me? That freak in your avatar has been giving me the heebee jeebees since you grabbed it out of that Lawrence Welk video.
Quote from: Pergamos on January 30, 2014, 03:09:39 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 01:05:22 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 30, 2014, 01:02:46 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 12:35:27 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 08:01:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 07:59:07 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:42:40 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 06:36:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:15:42 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 05:47:37 PM
At least my nightmares are politely fantastical. I think my brain would jump out my ear if they were like this.
Nightmares are God handing you scary movies for free.
Never did like scary movies. Too loud. All that screaming.
Point. My sleeping brain has no volume control.
I can smell things in my sleep that I can't smell when I'm awake. Sleeping brains are assholes.
Or awake brains are lazy underachievers. I think everyone should see in waking life what I see when I'm sleeping.
No thank you. I appreciate your very kind offer but at this time I must politely decline. Thank you for thinking of me, though.
SOME GUY WITH TEETH WHERE HIS EYES BELONG SAYS "YOU'RE WELCOME".
I have had dreams about that guy. :eek: Pretty sure him and The Marrow Man are golf buddies.
(http://www.thekeep.org/~rpm/img/vertigo/mortalfates/corinthian.jpg)
This guy?
Prettied up a bit.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on January 30, 2014, 03:33:30 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 01:05:22 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 30, 2014, 01:02:46 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 12:35:27 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 08:01:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 07:59:07 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:42:40 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 06:36:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:15:42 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 05:47:37 PM
At least my nightmares are politely fantastical. I think my brain would jump out my ear if they were like this.
Nightmares are God handing you scary movies for free.
Never did like scary movies. Too loud. All that screaming.
Point. My sleeping brain has no volume control.
I can smell things in my sleep that I can't smell when I'm awake. Sleeping brains are assholes.
Or awake brains are lazy underachievers. I think everyone should see in waking life what I see when I'm sleeping.
No thank you. I appreciate your very kind offer but at this time I must politely decline. Thank you for thinking of me, though.
SOME GUY WITH TEETH WHERE HIS EYES BELONG SAYS "YOU'RE WELCOME".
I have had dreams about that guy. :eek: Pretty sure him and The Marrow Man are golf buddies.
Hey this reminds me.
Did you ever get your holiday letter?
I did. I am going to assume by your question that you have not received my reply.
Quote from: Pergamos on January 30, 2014, 03:09:39 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 01:05:22 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 30, 2014, 01:02:46 AM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 30, 2014, 12:35:27 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 08:01:57 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 07:59:07 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:42:40 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 06:36:57 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on January 29, 2014, 06:15:42 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on January 29, 2014, 05:47:37 PM
At least my nightmares are politely fantastical. I think my brain would jump out my ear if they were like this.
Nightmares are God handing you scary movies for free.
Never did like scary movies. Too loud. All that screaming.
Point. My sleeping brain has no volume control.
I can smell things in my sleep that I can't smell when I'm awake. Sleeping brains are assholes.
Or awake brains are lazy underachievers. I think everyone should see in waking life what I see when I'm sleeping.
No thank you. I appreciate your very kind offer but at this time I must politely decline. Thank you for thinking of me, though.
SOME GUY WITH TEETH WHERE HIS EYES BELONG SAYS "YOU'RE WELCOME".
I have had dreams about that guy. :eek: Pretty sure him and The Marrow Man are golf buddies.
(http://www.thekeep.org/~rpm/img/vertigo/mortalfates/corinthian.jpg)
This guy?
He used to wear a hat in my dreams.