...but in different universes, and the only constant is that Paris just ignored Aphrodite, Athena, and Hera and gave the Golden Apple back to you.
What do you do next? You tricky prank was just ruined, but it also just made your day.
Quote from: Legate Gene O'Mick, PhD on May 08, 2015, 06:58:56 AM
...but in different universes, and the only constant is that Paris just ignored Aphrodite, Athena, and Hera and gave the Golden Apple back to you.
What do you do next? You tricky prank was just ruined, but it also just made your day.
Lure Paris out of sight and force him to marry you.
Smash the apple into his junk until he dies, the fucker shouldn't have ruined your prank.
Send pictures of your honeymoon with Paris every day for weeks.
Don't bother hiding the signs of a slowly deteriorating corpse in the pictures.
The next time the goddesses have a party roll the Golden apple covered in Paris' dried blood and shit into the middle of the new party.
Quote from: Reginald Ret on May 08, 2015, 10:42:09 AM
Quote from: Legate Gene O'Mick, PhD on May 08, 2015, 06:58:56 AM
...but in different universes, and the only constant is that Paris just ignored Aphrodite, Athena, and Hera and gave the Golden Apple back to you.
What do you do next? You tricky prank was just ruined, but it also just made your day.
Lure Paris out of sight and force him to marry you.
Smash the apple into his junk until he dies, the fucker shouldn't have ruined your prank.
Send pictures of your honeymoon with Paris every day for weeks.
Don't bother hiding the signs of a slowly deteriorating corpse in the pictures.
The next time the goddesses have a party roll the Golden apple covered in Paris' dried blood and shit into the middle of the new party.
:eek:
Can't top that.
*slow clap* , Reginald.
Quote from: The All-Seeing Waffle on May 08, 2015, 03:23:36 PM
Can't top that.
*slow clap* , Reginald.
There's people who say they can't top that.
and they mean it!
Take heart in the fact that there is actually one person on the planet who isn't a complete self-absorbed idiot. Humanity redeemed, take a vacation.
Quote from: Legate Gene O'Mick, PhD on May 08, 2015, 02:57:48 PM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on May 08, 2015, 10:42:09 AM
Quote from: Legate Gene O'Mick, PhD on May 08, 2015, 06:58:56 AM
...but in different universes, and the only constant is that Paris just ignored Aphrodite, Athena, and Hera and gave the Golden Apple back to you.
What do you do next? You tricky prank was just ruined, but it also just made your day.
Lure Paris out of sight and force him to marry you.
Smash the apple into his junk until he dies, the fucker shouldn't have ruined your prank.
Send pictures of your honeymoon with Paris every day for weeks.
Don't bother hiding the signs of a slowly deteriorating corpse in the pictures.
The next time the goddesses have a party roll the Golden apple covered in Paris' dried blood and shit into the middle of the new party.
:eek:
I may have some unresolved anger issues.
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on May 08, 2015, 09:02:16 PM
Take heart in the fact that there is actually one person on the planet who isn't a complete self-absorbed idiot. Humanity redeemed, take a vacation.
That's an interesting direction you took it!
I wonder what others will make of it?
I am a Greek goddess of Strife who burned the crops and salted the earth.
I roast Paris and serve him at the wedding with the apple in his mouth.
I take Paris out for ice cream. By five minutes in I am no longer convinced this was a good idea. By ten minutes he is the most boring thing ever. At the fifteen minute mark, the ice cream parlor is on fire and all the bystanders are bleeding honey from every orifice.
My cone of peanut butter fudge ripple is unscathed.
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on May 11, 2015, 05:23:29 PM
I take Paris out for ice cream. By five minutes in I am no longer convinced this was a good idea. By ten minutes he is the most boring thing ever. At the fifteen minute mark, the ice cream parlor is on fire and all the bystanders are bleeding honey from every orifice.
My cone of peanut butter fudge ripple is unscathed.
Helen turned out to be totally self-absorbed. Talked about her hair for 3 straight hours.
Packed her off in a ship, sent her back to her hairy-ass Greeks.
I'd take Paris into the future to show him what would be named after him, then enjoy his sweet salty tears of pure and utter despair.
Quote from: The All-Seeing Waffle on May 12, 2015, 08:26:25 AM
I'd take Paris into the future to show him what would be named after him, then enjoy his sweet salty tears of pure and utter despair.
Also, what "Trojans" are now.
Get all misty for about ten seconds and then recall that my prank is ruined - by a mortal.
I reward him with immortality, Moorcock style, where he's yanked out of his existence at random to go heroing in other continua.
Then I invent the game of bridge because I can.
Quote from: Dubya on May 14, 2015, 04:57:33 AM
Get all misty for about ten seconds and then recall that my prank is ruined - by a mortal.
I reward him with immortality, Moorcock style, where he's yanked out of his existence at random to go heroing in other continua.
Then I invent the game of bridge because I can.
I don't know what Moorcock is, but your plan reminds me of Sliders. And quantum leap. And the Odyssey of Odysseus.
Quote from: Reginald Ret on May 14, 2015, 07:36:38 AM
Quote from: Dubya on May 14, 2015, 04:57:33 AM
Get all misty for about ten seconds and then recall that my prank is ruined - by a mortal.
I reward him with immortality, Moorcock style, where he's yanked out of his existence at random to go heroing in other continua.
Then I invent the game of bridge because I can.
I don't know what Moorcock is, but your plan reminds me of Sliders. And quantum leap. And the Odyssey of Odysseus.
[shakes elderly english head]
Consider this educational
http://www.avclub.com/article/where-to-start-with-fantasy-overlord-michael-moorc-81614
Jeesers fuck, Sliders & Quantum Leap ???
[/shakes elderly english head]
Quote from: MMIX on May 14, 2015, 09:50:38 AM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on May 14, 2015, 07:36:38 AM
Quote from: Dubya on May 14, 2015, 04:57:33 AM
Get all misty for about ten seconds and then recall that my prank is ruined - by a mortal.
I reward him with immortality, Moorcock style, where he's yanked out of his existence at random to go heroing in other continua.
Then I invent the game of bridge because I can.
I don't know what Moorcock is, but your plan reminds me of Sliders. And quantum leap. And the Odyssey of Odysseus.
[shakes elderly english head]
Consider this educational
http://www.avclub.com/article/where-to-start-with-fantasy-overlord-michael-moorc-81614
Jeesers fuck, Sliders & Quantum Leap ???
[/shakes elderly english head]
YOY!!!!! more books to read!
Also, what is wrong with Sliders and Quantum Leap?
Quote from: Reginald Ret on May 14, 2015, 10:16:13 AM
Quote from: MMIX on May 14, 2015, 09:50:38 AM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on May 14, 2015, 07:36:38 AM
Quote from: Dubya on May 14, 2015, 04:57:33 AM
Get all misty for about ten seconds and then recall that my prank is ruined - by a mortal.
I reward him with immortality, Moorcock style, where he's yanked out of his existence at random to go heroing in other continua.
Then I invent the game of bridge because I can.
I don't know what Moorcock is, but your plan reminds me of Sliders. And quantum leap. And the Odyssey of Odysseus.
[shakes elderly english head]
Consider this educational
http://www.avclub.com/article/where-to-start-with-fantasy-overlord-michael-moorc-81614
Jeesers fuck, Sliders & Quantum Leap ???
[/shakes elderly english head]
YOY!!!!! more books to read!
Also, what is wrong with Sliders and Quantum Leap?
There's nothing wrong with them. True confession - I watched both with some enthusiasm back in the day. But, they are not great literature yanno? And Moorcock is kind of a different level of storytelling. Not saying that books are inherently "better" or of more "cultural worth" than TV but I would place Sliders and Quantum Leap as kind of middle to low brow TV. YMMV. See what I'm trying to say?
Quote from: MMIX on May 14, 2015, 10:31:26 AM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on May 14, 2015, 10:16:13 AM
Quote from: MMIX on May 14, 2015, 09:50:38 AM
Quote from: Reginald Ret on May 14, 2015, 07:36:38 AM
Quote from: Dubya on May 14, 2015, 04:57:33 AM
Get all misty for about ten seconds and then recall that my prank is ruined - by a mortal.
I reward him with immortality, Moorcock style, where he's yanked out of his existence at random to go heroing in other continua.
Then I invent the game of bridge because I can.
I don't know what Moorcock is, but your plan reminds me of Sliders. And quantum leap. And the Odyssey of Odysseus.
[shakes elderly english head]
Consider this educational
http://www.avclub.com/article/where-to-start-with-fantasy-overlord-michael-moorc-81614
Jeesers fuck, Sliders & Quantum Leap ???
[/shakes elderly english head]
YOY!!!!! more books to read!
Also, what is wrong with Sliders and Quantum Leap?
There's nothing wrong with them. True confession - I watched both with some enthusiasm back in the day. But, they are not great literature yanno? And Moorcock is kind of a different level of storytelling. Not saying that books are inherently "better" or of more "cultural worth" than TV but I would place Sliders and Quantum Leap as kind of middle to low brow TV. YMMV. See what I'm trying to say?
Gotcha.
I prefer books as well.
So do I.
But Moorcock was a hack.
There. I said it. :argh!:
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 15, 2015, 12:25:41 AM
So do I.
But Moorcock was a hack.
There. I said it. :argh!:
I wouldn't go so far as hack but I found what I read of his nigh on unreadable.
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 15, 2015, 02:24:36 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 15, 2015, 12:25:41 AM
So do I.
But Moorcock was a hack.
There. I said it. :argh!:
I wouldn't go so far as hack but I found what I read of his nigh on unreadable.
He wrote the same fucking story like 9 times, and it was NOTHING but deus ex machina.
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 15, 2015, 02:34:06 AM
He wrote the same fucking story like 9 times, and it was NOTHING but deus ex machina.
But pretty much everyone does that in the fantasy realm. And yes he is not to everyone's taste. I loved Hawkwind back in the day but I've had a copy of Time of the Hawklords on my bookshelf for 30 some years that I liberated from a library sale for 5p and i've never got past page 3. But Moorcock, whatever you [generic you] think of his actual shit, is a significant step in the development of fantasy writing. I always assume that other people are more nuanced and intelligent readers of fiction than I am so I have no compunction in recommending classic material even if it doesn't float my boat.
I'm just looking forward to all the good Moorcock/More-cock jokes I can make at the bookstore.
Quote from: Reginald Ret on May 15, 2015, 12:31:51 PM
I'm just looking forward to all the good Moorcock/More-cock jokes I can make at the bookstore.
Looking forward to hearing them all
Quote from: Reginald Ret on May 15, 2015, 12:31:51 PM
I'm just looking forward to all the good Moorcock/More-cock jokes I can make at the bookstore.
There was a Niel Gaiman short story where he noted in passing the phallic names of fantasy and sci-fi writers. Moorcock, Philip K Dick, etc.
Personally, I can't read the Elric books anymore without cracking up from the melodrama. There was one story I remember where he and the other manifestations of the eternal hero formed up - I shit you not - like Voltron to whup up on some interdimensional villain.
But the books I was thinking of were the Blood trilogy, which were wonderfully weird. Possibly the best Ive read of his.
Quote from: MMIX on May 15, 2015, 10:50:14 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on May 15, 2015, 02:34:06 AM
He wrote the same fucking story like 9 times, and it was NOTHING but deus ex machina.
But pretty much everyone does that in the fantasy realm. And yes he is not to everyone's taste. I loved Hawkwind back in the day but I've had a copy of Time of the Hawklords on my bookshelf for 30 some years that I liberated from a library sale for 5p and i've never got past page 3. But Moorcock, whatever you [generic you] think of his actual shit, is a significant step in the development of fantasy writing. I always assume that other people are more nuanced and intelligent readers of fiction than I am so I have no compunction in recommending classic material even if it doesn't float my boat.
It wounded me as a youngster. It made me feel like I'd feel if I found out my dad had been the commandant of Dachau or something.
Wow. Just Wow. That sort of pain stays with you. Sympathy Dok.
Quote from: MMIX on May 15, 2015, 08:23:07 PM
Wow. Just Wow. That sort of pain stays with you. Sympathy Dok.
In return, I'd like to apologize on behalf of my nation for doing this to you:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SS_Richard_Montgomery
A Trojan ship. :fap: