Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Think for Yourself, Schmuck! => Horrorology => Topic started by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 04:45:29 am

Title: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 04:45:29 am
Seriously. Laugh.

A conversation betwixt myself and Villager's predecessor, just now:

11:07pm
TWID:
So yeah. Thursday time.
got 49 minutes left.

11:12pm
EX:
Well make sure to take care of your heart

11:12pm
TWID:
lol
take care of my heart

11:13pm
EX:
You dont smoke right

11:13pm
TWID:
Like being a [redacted paternal and maternal last names] hybrid makes heart care an easy thing
[paternal] got the good tickers but we got the nuts to make up for that
I'm pretty certain at this point that I will die of one of three things

11:14pm
EX
Well ewceryone dies

11:14pm
TWID
Indeed. But I've ben dying for a fortnight

11:15pm
EX
You could surprise us all by getting a piano dripped on you

11:15pm
TWID
That would be filed under mental illness, though, as a stretch
Seriously though, it sucks. Kinda makes me hate the idea of reincarnation
It's like getting your blood drawn annually but infinitely more sucky
The acceptance is the worst part

11:17pm
EX
Acceptance of death

11:17pm
TWID
It's like knowing your going to hit the tree, and then put on cruise control
Remember that in 60 years
Except for Brian, it wasn't 60 years from now.

11:21pm
EX
Awww dont hthink likw that

11:21pm
TWID
Too late.

11:21pm
EX
Tou should go to bes
Bed
I am

11:21pm
TWID
I was feeling this when I was sober.

11:21pm
EX
But dont stress
I know

11:21pm
TWID
I'm not stressing. That's the problem. I'm too fucking used to death.
I'm going to die. I accept that. And I hate that I now accept that.
In my 30s
I hate that I EAT death
Where are my fucking chloroplasts?

11:23pm
EX
Hahahhaha
Go vcegan!

11:24pm
TWID
Death is too tasty.

11:24pm
EX
Ok I gtg bed
Nom nom

11:24pm
TWID
Good night. Wake up in the morning.
o see a doctor.

11:24pm
EX
No
Youre fine

11:24pm
TWID
Oh, I'm fine for now.
I'm fine for a few decades.
Heh.
HehehehehHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
literally LOLLing
I can't stop laughing~
It's so ludicrous, lol

11:26pm
EX
Stop it
Im laughing now

11:26pm
TWID
No, lol
It is, it's ridiculous, the whole thing
What else can we do, cry?
Hey your planet won the lottery, enjoy your less than a century, lol

11:28pm
EX
Aww
Ol go to bed

11:28pm
TWID
We we might be the most advanced species in this galaxy, I'm in hysterics now

11:28pm
EX
Bes

11:28pm
TWID
NO!

11:28pm
EX
Bed

11:28pm
TWID
NO!
It's hilarious!
I'm laughing so hard, I have to blow my nose
Hey, we went to the Moon on a computer less powerful than your phone and then just STOPPED sending people off world!
Because it was TOO EXPENSIVE!!!!! LMFAO
We're doomed, individually and as a species, and it's funny as shit!
:compose, snot, look serious: So, yeah my cousin died because his body didn't like his new heart.
lol
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 05:30:37 am
There was a lot more to this conversation, prior to where I introduced you all, but it was pretty spiritual, and, admittedly, illogical. So a good chunk was cut out.


I am, after all, supposed to be a Catholic skeptic right now.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 05:33:26 am
Though, I will say from a subjective experience that my heart felt crazy for a bit now, and it only started to normalize after I heard the news.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Left on July 12, 2013, 05:53:37 am
It's a damn shame he went into rejection, but these things happen.

How close were y'all?






Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 12, 2013, 06:00:15 am
Other than I'm sorry, which I am not supposed to say, I got nothing. Other than maybe that my heart's been trying to kill me for decades, and I refuse to let that fucker win.

But then, my dad was housebound as a kid for the same reason, and a couple years ago the doctors were sure it was gonna get him and he was in the hospital for a bit, but he went FUCK THAT and now he's going on 86 and terrorizing my teenage children with his political views, which are frighteningly like TGRR's.

I am going nowhere with this. Our lives are full of tragedies. It sucks, but we live on. Usually.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 06:11:27 am
It's a damn shame he went into rejection, but these things happen.

How close were y'all?

Second cousin, mother's paternal side. I liked the guy. I'll miss him. Don't know what else I'm supposed to say. Just another kin death at this point. Mom's side is large. Dad's side, is, oddly, small (Mom is from Boston, Dad is an only child from Ireland, only child, due to polio. You're fairly new, so, there it is. Last time I was in Ireland was for Grandma's funeral. 3 days. Airport to Church, Church to bar, bar to other home, binge drinking all the way back to Boston, whilst we were telling gramps to stfu about how he was a bad husband. Because he wasn't. Man should be canonized upon decease). I've seriously dealt with so much death lately, that it's just, well, death. I look at it like I have my first cousins on mom's, mom, dad, stepdad, and grandpa. And, well, dad's nuts.

Other than I'm sorry, which I am not supposed to say, I got nothing. Other than maybe that my heart's been trying to kill me for decades, and I refuse to let that fucker win.

But then, my dad was housebound as a kid for the same reason, and a couple years ago the doctors were sure it was gonna get him and he was in the hospital for a bit, but he went FUCK THAT and now he's going on 86 and terrorizing my teenage children with his political views, which are frighteningly like TGRR's.

I am going nowhere with this. Our lives are full of tragedies. It sucks, but we live on. Usually.

No condolences. We all die.

Like I said. One of three. I'm hoping for one. [Paternal paternal longevity, though I will settle for paternal maternal longevity too, since dad's mom was 90]
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 06:14:57 am
Dad's dad, the last grand standing, is in his late 80s, still drinks, still smokes, totally fine, except for a bit of knee arthritis.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 06:15:42 am
And, of course, the bit of geriatric upkeep.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 12, 2013, 06:17:40 am
It's a damn shame he went into rejection, but these things happen.

How close were y'all?

Second cousin, mother's paternal side. I liked the guy. I'll miss him. Don't know what else I'm supposed to say. Just another kin death at this point. Mom's side is large. Dad's side, is, oddly, small (Mom is from Boston, Dad is an only child from Ireland, only child, due to polio. You're fairly new, so, there it is. Last time I was in Ireland was for Grandma's funeral. 3 days. Airport to Church, Church to bar, bar to other home, binge drinking all the way back to Boston, whilst we were telling gramps to stfu about how he was a bad husband. Because he wasn't. Man should be canonized upon decease). I've seriously dealt with so much death lately, that it's just, well, death. I look at it like I have my first cousins on mom's, mom, dad, stepdad, and grandpa. And, well, dad's nuts.

Other than I'm sorry, which I am not supposed to say, I got nothing. Other than maybe that my heart's been trying to kill me for decades, and I refuse to let that fucker win.

But then, my dad was housebound as a kid for the same reason, and a couple years ago the doctors were sure it was gonna get him and he was in the hospital for a bit, but he went FUCK THAT and now he's going on 86 and terrorizing my teenage children with his political views, which are frighteningly like TGRR's.

I am going nowhere with this. Our lives are full of tragedies. It sucks, but we live on. Usually.

No condolences. We all die.

Like I said. One of three. I'm hoping for one. [Paternal paternal longevity, though I will settle for paternal maternal longevity too, since dad's mom was 90]

Yeah, I'll spare you the litany of deaths of my loved ones. But it does happen, and you keep on living, and functioning. And hopefully not using it, too much, as an excuse to get drunk, dramatic, and maudlin, though I admit I did that a time or two.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 06:18:17 am
Heh, though on mom's side, I have shitload of heart and cancer problems, some of which may kill me as soon as 50, or as late as late 80s, since Nana was the last sibling left, despite all odds.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 06:19:42 am
It's a damn shame he went into rejection, but these things happen.

How close were y'all?

Second cousin, mother's paternal side. I liked the guy. I'll miss him. Don't know what else I'm supposed to say. Just another kin death at this point. Mom's side is large. Dad's side, is, oddly, small (Mom is from Boston, Dad is an only child from Ireland, only child, due to polio. You're fairly new, so, there it is. Last time I was in Ireland was for Grandma's funeral. 3 days. Airport to Church, Church to bar, bar to other home, binge drinking all the way back to Boston, whilst we were telling gramps to stfu about how he was a bad husband. Because he wasn't. Man should be canonized upon decease). I've seriously dealt with so much death lately, that it's just, well, death. I look at it like I have my first cousins on mom's, mom, dad, stepdad, and grandpa. And, well, dad's nuts.

Other than I'm sorry, which I am not supposed to say, I got nothing. Other than maybe that my heart's been trying to kill me for decades, and I refuse to let that fucker win.

But then, my dad was housebound as a kid for the same reason, and a couple years ago the doctors were sure it was gonna get him and he was in the hospital for a bit, but he went FUCK THAT and now he's going on 86 and terrorizing my teenage children with his political views, which are frighteningly like TGRR's.

I am going nowhere with this. Our lives are full of tragedies. It sucks, but we live on. Usually.

No condolences. We all die.

Like I said. One of three. I'm hoping for one. [Paternal paternal longevity, though I will settle for paternal maternal longevity too, since dad's mom was 90]

Yeah, I'll spare you the litany of deaths of my loved ones. But it does happen, and you keep on living, and functioning. And hopefully not using it, too much, as an excuse to get drunk, dramatic, and maudlin, though I admit I did that a time or two.

When you find out, like I did today, it is reasonable.

You just gotta know when the mourning period is over, and where the too much fun starts. It's a fine line on mom's side.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 06:20:39 am
And, admittedly, a fine line with me. I won't use it as an excuse.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 12, 2013, 06:23:04 am
It's a damn shame he went into rejection, but these things happen.

How close were y'all?

Second cousin, mother's paternal side. I liked the guy. I'll miss him. Don't know what else I'm supposed to say. Just another kin death at this point. Mom's side is large. Dad's side, is, oddly, small (Mom is from Boston, Dad is an only child from Ireland, only child, due to polio. You're fairly new, so, there it is. Last time I was in Ireland was for Grandma's funeral. 3 days. Airport to Church, Church to bar, bar to other home, binge drinking all the way back to Boston, whilst we were telling gramps to stfu about how he was a bad husband. Because he wasn't. Man should be canonized upon decease). I've seriously dealt with so much death lately, that it's just, well, death. I look at it like I have my first cousins on mom's, mom, dad, stepdad, and grandpa. And, well, dad's nuts.

Other than I'm sorry, which I am not supposed to say, I got nothing. Other than maybe that my heart's been trying to kill me for decades, and I refuse to let that fucker win.

But then, my dad was housebound as a kid for the same reason, and a couple years ago the doctors were sure it was gonna get him and he was in the hospital for a bit, but he went FUCK THAT and now he's going on 86 and terrorizing my teenage children with his political views, which are frighteningly like TGRR's.

I am going nowhere with this. Our lives are full of tragedies. It sucks, but we live on. Usually.

No condolences. We all die.

Like I said. One of three. I'm hoping for one. [Paternal paternal longevity, though I will settle for paternal maternal longevity too, since dad's mom was 90]

Yeah, I'll spare you the litany of deaths of my loved ones. But it does happen, and you keep on living, and functioning. And hopefully not using it, too much, as an excuse to get drunk, dramatic, and maudlin, though I admit I did that a time or two.

When you find out, like I did today, it is reasonable.

You just gotta know when the mourning period is over, and where the too much fun starts. It's a fine line on mom's side.

If I did it every time I'd be dead myself.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 06:23:51 am
And, admittedly, a fine line with me. I won't use it as an excuse.

Grandma was different. There was a lot of American guilt there. American because of distance.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 06:24:52 am
It's a damn shame he went into rejection, but these things happen.

How close were y'all?

Second cousin, mother's paternal side. I liked the guy. I'll miss him. Don't know what else I'm supposed to say. Just another kin death at this point. Mom's side is large. Dad's side, is, oddly, small (Mom is from Boston, Dad is an only child from Ireland, only child, due to polio. You're fairly new, so, there it is. Last time I was in Ireland was for Grandma's funeral. 3 days. Airport to Church, Church to bar, bar to other home, binge drinking all the way back to Boston, whilst we were telling gramps to stfu about how he was a bad husband. Because he wasn't. Man should be canonized upon decease). I've seriously dealt with so much death lately, that it's just, well, death. I look at it like I have my first cousins on mom's, mom, dad, stepdad, and grandpa. And, well, dad's nuts.

Other than I'm sorry, which I am not supposed to say, I got nothing. Other than maybe that my heart's been trying to kill me for decades, and I refuse to let that fucker win.

But then, my dad was housebound as a kid for the same reason, and a couple years ago the doctors were sure it was gonna get him and he was in the hospital for a bit, but he went FUCK THAT and now he's going on 86 and terrorizing my teenage children with his political views, which are frighteningly like TGRR's.

I am going nowhere with this. Our lives are full of tragedies. It sucks, but we live on. Usually.

No condolences. We all die.

Like I said. One of three. I'm hoping for one. [Paternal paternal longevity, though I will settle for paternal maternal longevity too, since dad's mom was 90]

Yeah, I'll spare you the litany of deaths of my loved ones. But it does happen, and you keep on living, and functioning. And hopefully not using it, too much, as an excuse to get drunk, dramatic, and maudlin, though I admit I did that a time or two.

When you find out, like I did today, it is reasonable.

You just gotta know when the mourning period is over, and where the too much fun starts. It's a fine line on mom's side.

If I did it every time I'd be dead myself.

Big families, big day. Move on.

This death was American, and big. Move on.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 06:26:36 am
Oh, and see a doctor regularly, if you have a genetic propensity.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Left on July 12, 2013, 06:30:12 am
...I'm so distant from most of my family that I don't know many names and wouldn't recognize them.
It's the queer thing and the depression thing, but mainly the feeling that they just won't get where I'm coming from.

 :sad:
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 12, 2013, 06:32:42 am
I've buried enough relatives to fill the fucking Taj Mahal.

It happens.  After you're 40, you just sort of giggle and feel glad it wasn't you.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 12, 2013, 06:36:21 am
I've buried enough relatives to fill the fucking Taj Mahal.

It happens.  After you're 40, you just sort of giggle and feel glad it wasn't you.

Bingo
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 06:38:34 am
I've buried enough relatives to fill the fucking Taj Mahal.

It happens.  After you're 40, you just sort of giggle and feel glad it wasn't you.

I fear that I have well entered that phase of life. It concerns me. Some of my cousins are old enough to die too young. Some of my cousins are lucky to still be alive. I look at dad and I see old. I look at mom and I see struggling, with everything. I look at mom's husband and see... someone who seems more like me than mom, even though they were high school sweethearts and broke up because he went to college in New York and mom decided to marry a blow in and spawn me and my two sisters.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 12, 2013, 06:41:20 am
I've buried enough relatives to fill the fucking Taj Mahal.

It happens.  After you're 40, you just sort of giggle and feel glad it wasn't you.

I fear that I have well entered that phase of life. It concerns me. Some of my cousins are old enough to die too young. Some of my cousins are lucky to still be alive. I look at dad and I see old. I look at mom and I see struggling, with everything. I look at mom's husband and see... someone who seems more like me than mom, even though they were high school sweethearts and broke up because he went to college in New York and mom decided to marry a blow in and spawn me and my two sisters.

TWID

FUCKING SNAP OUT OF IT

YOU'RE TURNING INTO A BORING MAUDLIN DRUNK

MAN, I'M SORRY YOUR RELATIVES DIE AND SHIT, BUT JESUS FUCK EVERYBODY'S RELATIVES DIE AND SHIT

CENTERING YOUR LIFE AROUND TRAGEDY SO YOU HAVE AN EXCUSE TO DRINK AND WHINE ISN'T TRAGIC, IT'S FUCKING BORING

STOP.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 06:47:52 am
I've buried enough relatives to fill the fucking Taj Mahal.

It happens.  After you're 40, you just sort of giggle and feel glad it wasn't you.

I fear that I have well entered that phase of life. It concerns me. Some of my cousins are old enough to die too young. Some of my cousins are lucky to still be alive. I look at dad and I see old. I look at mom and I see struggling, with everything. I look at mom's husband and see... someone who seems more like me than mom, even though they were high school sweethearts and broke up because he went to college in New York and mom decided to marry a blow in and spawn me and my two sisters.

TWID

FUCKING SNAP OUT OF IT

YOU'RE TURNING INTO A BORING MAUDLIN DRUNK

MAN, I'M SORRY YOUR RELATIVES DIE AND SHIT, BUT JESUS FUCK EVERYBODY'S RELATIVES DIE AND SHIT

CENTERING YOUR LIFE AROUND TRAGEDY SO YOU HAVE AN EXCUSE TO DRINK AND WHINE ISN'T TRAGIC, IT'S FUCKING BORING

STOP.

Err. Sorry if I'm coming across that way, I thought I was relating to the fact that I'm growing older and that my parents and their generation are getting even older. I didn't consider it an overly emotional sort of thing, so much as a sunrise sunset sort of thing.

Twidsister will soon be graduating from high school. I held her as a baby. This is the way of things.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 06:49:23 am
It's only emotional in the sense that I only have one grandparent left, and that makes me realize, that someday, I will lose my parents too. That's not today, so I need not mourn it yet. But, well, time marches on.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 12, 2013, 06:50:09 am
No, it's mostly that you're a smart guy and you spend way too much time justifying why you're drunk or why you've earned getting drunk or why this or that tragedy is why you're drunk, every week or less. It fucking makes me sad. It's a complete goddamn waste.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 06:52:55 am
I mean, if it's a more positive, thing, yay, Twidsister's going to college soon! Look at how much she's grown! I remember when she was a toddler and throwing the cat around and dad said, in a weary voice, "don't throw the cat." like he's been through this before, and then me and my teenaged buddies laughed, and he laughed, and me and dad were laughing together, because we could relate to each other over something.

Yeah, I got baggage, but some of it I'm happy to check in with customs.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 12, 2013, 06:53:15 am
It's only emotional in the sense that I only have one grandparent left, and that makes me realize, that someday, I will lose my parents too. That's not today, so I need not mourn it yet. But, well, time marches on.

IT HAPPENS TO EVERYBODY

AND IT'S SAD AS FUCK

BUT IT HAPPENS TO ABSOLUTELY EVERYBODY.

And the only excuse for getting wasted in advance is being an alcoholic who is slowly killing yourself with alcohol and using facile self-pity as an excuse to be wasted all  the fucking time.

Seriously, if we can tell on the internet, it's got to be even more cringeworthy for those near you.

YOU ARE TOO FUCKING SMART FOR THIS.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 06:54:58 am
No, it's mostly that you're a smart guy and you spend way too much time justifying why you're drunk or why you've earned getting drunk or why this or that tragedy is why you're drunk, every week or less. It fucking makes me sad. It's a complete goddamn waste.

I didn't think I was justifying it this time. Sorry if it came across that way.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 06:56:24 am
It's only emotional in the sense that I only have one grandparent left, and that makes me realize, that someday, I will lose my parents too. That's not today, so I need not mourn it yet. But, well, time marches on.

IT HAPPENS TO EVERYBODY

AND IT'S SAD AS FUCK

BUT IT HAPPENS TO ABSOLUTELY EVERYBODY.

And the only excuse for getting wasted in advance is being an alcoholic who is slowly killing yourself with alcohol and using facile self-pity as an excuse to be wasted all  the fucking time.

Seriously, if we can tell on the internet, it's got to be even more cringeworthy for those near you.

YOU ARE TOO FUCKING SMART FOR THIS.

I know it happens to everyone...

I uh... actually wasn't pitying myself today.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 06:57:57 am
"No condolences, please."
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 12, 2013, 06:58:18 am
No, it's mostly that you're a smart guy and you spend way too much time justifying why you're drunk or why you've earned getting drunk or why this or that tragedy is why you're drunk, every week or less. It fucking makes me sad. It's a complete goddamn waste.

I didn't think I was justifying it this time. Sorry if it came across that way.

Maybe it's just a sidebar to your alcoholism. "Yeah, I'm drunk, and also my cousin died". Either way, it's a fucking waste. You're too good to drink all your potential away. Yeah I'm a fucking dick, but I'm only saying this because I like you so much. If I didn't I would shut the fuck up while you kept on doing it.

The "I have a tiny personal tragedy so I have an excuse to be wasted" is trite as fuck, and YOU ARE TOO FUCKING GOOD FOR THIS.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 12, 2013, 06:59:11 am
It's damn obvious, even over the internet. Just sayin.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 07:00:51 am
No, it's mostly that you're a smart guy and you spend way too much time justifying why you're drunk or why you've earned getting drunk or why this or that tragedy is why you're drunk, every week or less. It fucking makes me sad. It's a complete goddamn waste.

I didn't think I was justifying it this time. Sorry if it came across that way.

Maybe it's just a sidebar to your alcoholism. "Yeah, I'm drunk, and also my cousin died". Either way, it's a fucking waste. You're too good to drink all your potential away. Yeah I'm a fucking dick, but I'm only saying this because I like you so much. If I didn't I would shut the fuck up while you kept on doing it.

The "I have a tiny personal tragedy so I have an excuse to be wasted" is trite as fuck, and YOU ARE TOO FUCKING GOOD FOR THIS.

Ok. Didn't think I was using it as an excuse, but you know Nigel, I respect your opinion, so I'll just come back later. Again, though I was just musing. Catch you guys later.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on July 12, 2013, 07:01:19 am
It's damn obvious, even over the internet. Just sayin.

Well, then I have some self assessment to do. See you later, friend.
Title: Re: No condolences, please.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on July 12, 2013, 07:13:33 am
It's damn obvious, even over the internet. Just sayin.

Well, then I have some self assessment to do. See you later, friend.

OK, man. Hope it benefits you.