Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Aneristic Illusions => Topic started by: tyrannosaurus vex on July 12, 2018, 07:37:35 pm

Title: Looking for ideas
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on July 12, 2018, 07:37:35 pm
someone bought the domain official.gop and is looking for decent troll material beyond what's already there. any help would be appreciated. asking for a friend.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 12, 2018, 07:39:15 pm
Munich nostalgia posts.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 13, 2018, 03:26:05 am
someone bought the domain official.gop and is looking for decent troll material beyond what's already there. any help would be appreciated. asking for a friend.

I’m interested. Tell me more.

I believe that bigly hilarity can be had from trolling Louis Buller Gohmert Jr. alone. And, I didn’t even know his middle name was “Buller” until I just looked it up. (Now I’m wondering whether or not that’s a Wikipedia troll.)

Anyway, given the rest of the cast of characters currently in the GOP, the sky’s the limit!

(You may want to consider moving/posting this to/on the Project Board.)
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on July 13, 2018, 04:00:13 am
someone bought the domain official.gop and is looking for decent troll material beyond what's already there. any help would be appreciated. asking for a friend.

I’m interested. Tell me more.

I believe that bigly hilarity can be had from trolling Louis Buller Gohmert Jr. alone. And, I didn’t even know his middle name was “Buller” until I just looked it up. (Now I’m wondering whether or not that’s a Wikipedia troll.)

Anyway, given the rest of the cast of characters currently in the GOP, the sky’s the limit!

(You may want to consider moving/posting this to/on the Project Board.)
Yes I should probably

There's not much more to tell. I'm just not sure what format it should take, other than "pretending to be Republicans but accidentally telling the truth", and I don't have enough content.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: minuspace on July 13, 2018, 05:16:56 am
 
someone bought the domain official.gop and is looking for decent troll material beyond what's already there. any help would be appreciated. asking for a friend.

I’m interested. Tell me more.

I believe that bigly hilarity can be had from trolling Louis Buller Gohmert Jr. alone. And, I didn’t even know his middle name was “Buller” until I just looked it up. (Now I’m wondering whether or not that’s a Wikipedia troll.)

Anyway, given the rest of the cast of characters currently in the GOP, the sky’s the limit!

(You may want to consider moving/posting this to/on the Project Board.)
Yes I should probably

There's not much more to tell. I'm just not sure what format it should take, other than "pretending to be Republicans but accidentally telling the truth", and I don't have enough content.
Quote
Special effects and electric brain stimulation
—William S. B.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 13, 2018, 04:59:45 pm
someone bought the domain official.gop and is looking for decent troll material beyond what's already there. any help would be appreciated. asking for a friend.

I’m interested. Tell me more.

I believe that bigly hilarity can be had from trolling Louis Buller Gohmert Jr. alone. And, I didn’t even know his middle name was “Buller” until I just looked it up. (Now I’m wondering whether or not that’s a Wikipedia troll.)

Anyway, given the rest of the cast of characters currently in the GOP, the sky’s the limit!

(You may want to consider moving/posting this to/on the Project Board.)
Yes I should probably

There's not much more to tell. I'm just not sure what format it should take, other than "pretending to be Republicans but accidentally telling the truth", and I don't have enough content.

Okay.

As far as format goes, a good starting place might be to mimic the Republican National Committee’s own website at https://gop.com/. (As I have zero knowledge of website construction, design, etc., I admit that that that may be easier said than done.)

Although there’s an obvious gold mine in material out there of the GOP’s own making, it’s going to be very difficult to achieve the level of subtlety needed for a first class troll.

I do, however, have a quite a number of raw ideas, and I’m sure many more will occur to me. Here’s a couple to start with:

Idea 1. Praise the union of poor, undereducated Republican voters, corporate elites, and the wealthy for recently passing massive tax cuts for corporations and the wealthy. (Doing this subtlety is going to be really hard.)

Idea 2. Thank America’s farmers for bearing the burden placed upon them by Trump’s Trade War, because it will ultimately help the recovery of our manufacturing sector. (Actually, on this one it should be pretty easy to achieve the right level of subtlety.)
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 13, 2018, 06:57:47 pm
Idea 3. Have all contributors use nom de plumes like “B. J. Ford,” where B. J. is actually Boris Joakim, and the last name is one of a prominent Republican politician, or serial killer.

Then after a little while, let the Russian names slip out.

Now then, if you’re looking for only finished content, please give us some idea of what your friend needs. For instance, is he/she looking for something in editorial format, blog posting format, something else? As I’ve already posted, I’m interested, but I’m also new to this sort of thing.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on July 14, 2018, 04:16:51 pm
Use it to direct people towards candidates that are actually from different conservative parties, such as the Libertarians, to split the vote
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Brother Mythos on July 16, 2018, 12:13:12 am
I didn’t realize this thing has been kicking around for about a year, until I found and read your old thread, as follows: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php/topic,38216.0.html

I don’t know what the owner(s) of official.gop started with, but it doesn’t look like he/she/they have gotten very far with the site. So:

Idea 4. Provide links to news sites, etc., where Republicans themselves have made statements, or taken actions contrary to The Republicult™ party line, like the following:

Gowdy: I don't think Mueller probe is a witch hunt

As per this link: http://thehill.com/homenews/sunday-talk-shows/397087-gowdy-i-dont-think-mueller-probe-is-a-witch-hunt

Providing pertinent links to other sites should be easy, and it’s free, no fuss, high quality content.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: minuspace on July 16, 2018, 12:18:20 am
Idea 3. Have all contributors use nom de plumes like “B. J. Ford,” where B. J. is actually Boris Joakim, and the last name is one of a prominent Republican politician, or serial killer.

Then after a little while, let the Russian names slip out.

[...]

Something like that, gradually infused with themes from Alice in Wonderland, like the Queen of Hearts as Red Queen... Russian overlay slowly giving way to reveal Imperial Monarchy of reptilian overlord's "intelligent design."
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: chaotic neutral observer on July 17, 2018, 02:16:34 pm
Our nation was founded on a set of shared beliefs, and our values, by the grace of God, have made us the greatest country in the world.  Lately our culture has come under attack from outside, by a torrent of illegal aliens who steal our jobs, threaten our children, and endanger our very way of life.  But thanks to the strengthening of our borders, and extreme vetting of would-be immigrants, this tide is being stemmed.

Yet there is another threat which faces us today, one far more insidious.  Every year, four million people arrive in America, and are summarily granted citizenship, without so much as a pledge of allegiance.  These newcomers often take years to learn to speak and read our language, placing an enormous drain on our already overburdened educational system.  Even when they pretend to fit into our culture, they twist it in subtle and disastrous ways.  They disrespect our hallowed institutions, distort our language, commit obscenities, and even mock our religion.

Great strides have been made in preventing the influx of these invaders, but these measures are not always effective.  Yet there are those in our own government who want to make some of these measures illegal!  Your help is needed.  Defend our American way of life, and petition your representatives to continue to allow us to protect ourselves, by any means necessary.

Support women's right to choose.

Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 17, 2018, 04:14:59 pm
You people are weird.

You fuckers drink milk out of a plastic bladder and *WE* are the weird ones?
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on July 17, 2018, 04:49:39 pm
Our nation was founded on a set of shared beliefs, and our values, by the grace of God, have made us the greatest country in the world.  Lately our culture has come under attack from outside, by a torrent of illegal aliens who steal our jobs, threaten our children, and endanger our very way of life.  But thanks to the strengthening of our borders, and extreme vetting of would-be immigrants, this tide is being stemmed.

Yet there is another threat which faces us today, one far more insidious.  Every year, four million people arrive in America, and are summarily granted citizenship, without so much as a pledge of allegiance.  These newcomers often take years to learn to speak and read our language, placing an enormous drain on our already overburdened educational system.  Even when they pretend to fit into our culture, they twist it in subtle and disastrous ways.  They disrespect our hallowed institutions, distort our language, commit obscenities, and even mock our religion.

Great strides have been made in preventing the influx of these invaders, but these measures are not always effective.  Yet there are those in our own government who want to make some of these measures illegal!  Your help is needed.  Defend our American way of life, and petition your representatives to continue to allow us to protect ourselves, by any means necessary.

Support women's right to choose.

  • I don't think this really fits what you want, but I felt like writing it anyway.
  • Although I've tried to write this from an American perspective, I'm Canadian.  I don't claim to understand what's really going on down there.  You people are weird.
  • I don't necessarily agree or disagree with anything I write, including this statement.

I almost choked on bile until I realized you were making a submission. Like... shit, warn a person first.

It isn't exactly what I'm looking for, but I felt it shift a gear somewhere. I'm taking notes from all these suggestions, and they're all helpful.

And yes, someone should do something about this unchecked undocumented immigration from the spiritual plane.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 17, 2018, 05:19:06 pm
Our nation was founded on a set of shared beliefs, and our values, by the grace of God, have made us the greatest country in the world.  Lately our culture has come under attack from outside, by a torrent of illegal aliens who steal our jobs, threaten our children, and endanger our very way of life.  But thanks to the strengthening of our borders, and extreme vetting of would-be immigrants, this tide is being stemmed.

Yet there is another threat which faces us today, one far more insidious.  Every year, four million people arrive in America, and are summarily granted citizenship, without so much as a pledge of allegiance.  These newcomers often take years to learn to speak and read our language, placing an enormous drain on our already overburdened educational system.  Even when they pretend to fit into our culture, they twist it in subtle and disastrous ways.  They disrespect our hallowed institutions, distort our language, commit obscenities, and even mock our religion.

Great strides have been made in preventing the influx of these invaders, but these measures are not always effective.  Yet there are those in our own government who want to make some of these measures illegal!  Your help is needed.  Defend our American way of life, and petition your representatives to continue to allow us to protect ourselves, by any means necessary.

Support women's right to choose.

  • I don't think this really fits what you want, but I felt like writing it anyway.
  • Although I've tried to write this from an American perspective, I'm Canadian.  I don't claim to understand what's really going on down there.  You people are weird.
  • I don't necessarily agree or disagree with anything I write, including this statement.

I almost choked on bile until I realized you were making a submission. Like... shit, warn a person first.

It isn't exactly what I'm looking for, but I felt it shift a gear somewhere. I'm taking notes from all these suggestions, and they're all helpful.

And yes, someone should do something about this unchecked undocumented immigration from the spiritual plane.

Yeah, he had me revved up, to.

His is really good and you should have him write for your site.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: shamelessPuck on July 17, 2018, 06:32:07 pm
Use it to direct people towards candidates that are actually from different conservative parties, such as the Libertarians, to split the vote
This is great.
Our nation was founded on a set of shared beliefs, and our values, by the grace of God, have made us the greatest country in the world.  Lately our culture has come under attack from outside, by a torrent of illegal aliens who steal our jobs, threaten our children, and endanger our very way of life.  But thanks to the strengthening of our borders, and extreme vetting of would-be immigrants, this tide is being stemmed.

Yet there is another threat which faces us today, one far more insidious.  Every year, four million people arrive in America, and are summarily granted citizenship, without so much as a pledge of allegiance.  These newcomers often take years to learn to speak and read our language, placing an enormous drain on our already overburdened educational system.  Even when they pretend to fit into our culture, they twist it in subtle and disastrous ways.  They disrespect our hallowed institutions, distort our language, commit obscenities, and even mock our religion.

Great strides have been made in preventing the influx of these invaders, but these measures are not always effective.  Yet there are those in our own government who want to make some of these measures illegal!  Your help is needed.  Defend our American way of life, and petition your representatives to continue to allow us to protect ourselves, by any means necessary.

Support women's right to choose.
This is even better, though in a very different vein.

I’m going on vacation tomorrow, so I’ll see what I can come up with here when aided by French wine and a beautiful lake beach.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: chaotic neutral observer on July 18, 2018, 02:48:59 am
You fuckers drink milk out of a plastic bladder and *WE* are the weird ones?
Do you really want to bring up the subject of dairy products?  You guys contributed processed cheese slices to world cuisine.


I almost choked on bile until I realized you were making a submission. Like... shit, warn a person first.
Oops.  I guess I thought the notes at the end granted me retroactive immunity from Poe's Law.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Doktor Howl on July 18, 2018, 03:10:21 am

Do you really want to bring up the subject of dairy products?  You guys contributed processed cheese slices to world cuisine.



Also Cheese Whiz.

"Processed cheese-like food product."
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Bruno on July 20, 2018, 08:46:29 am

Do you really want to bring up the subject of dairy products?  You guys contributed processed cheese slices to world cuisine.



Also Cheese Whiz.

"Processed cheese-like food product."

I was going to say Easy Cheese, the stuff that comes in a can with a nozzle. Because Cheese Whiz is just too much work.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: tyrannosaurus vex on July 20, 2018, 05:17:20 pm
The thing about American cheese-like products, in general, is that they only taste (vaguely) like cheese as long as you also eat like an American: faster than the signals from your taste buds can travel to your brain, and quickly drowned out by a gallon of Dr. Pepper.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Bruno on July 22, 2018, 09:22:20 am
At work a while back, we had a "Taste of Harmony" potluck dinner. We were supposed to bring something "representative of our culture", so I bought a couple of cans of Easy Cheese, and Ritz crackers.

In true American form, I ate it all beforehand and had nothing to bring to the table, so I grabbed a tub of ice cream from the Dollar store on the way to work that day. It did a pretty good job of getting that Basil taste out of everybody's mouth, and was a smashing success!

:winning:

ETA: Also, this is how I learned that spray-on-cheese is Easy Cheese, not Cheese Whiz, which is pretty much the same thing, but in non-pressurized form.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: minuspace on July 23, 2018, 06:47:47 am
This is all good suggestion of cheese distinction, I mistake these non-fermented produkt before. May I also make suggestion to hire comrade Bystritsky for Audience Research and Social Circuit Engineering.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Prelate Diogenes Shandor on November 01, 2018, 04:03:36 pm
ETA: Also, this is how I learned that spray-on-cheese is Easy Cheese, not Cheese Whiz, which is pretty much the same thing, but in non-pressurized form.

and I just learned it now from reading this thread
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Hoopla! on November 01, 2018, 04:18:44 pm
It’s worth noting Cheese-Whiz tastes completely different in Canada. Or maybe it isn’t.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Bruno on November 01, 2018, 05:10:43 pm
It’s worth noting Cheese-Whiz tastes completely different in Canada. Or maybe it isn’t.

Is it better or worse?
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Bruno on November 01, 2018, 05:12:12 pm
ETA: Also, this is how I learned that spray-on-cheese is Easy Cheese, not Cheese Whiz, which is pretty much the same thing, but in non-pressurized form.

and I just learned it now from reading this thread

It's just natural to think that the one called "Whiz" would be the one that comes out in a stream.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Hoopla! on November 01, 2018, 05:32:37 pm
It’s worth noting Cheese-Whiz tastes completely different in Canada. Or maybe it isn’t.

Is it better or worse?

That’s subjective, I suppose. But I personally prefer American Cheese-Whiz.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Doktor Howl on November 01, 2018, 07:13:51 pm
It’s worth noting Cheese-Whiz tastes completely different in Canada. Or maybe it isn’t.

Is it better or worse?

That’s subjective, I suppose. But I personally prefer American Cheese-Whiz.

You make me sad.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Hoopla! on November 01, 2018, 09:29:42 pm
It’s worth noting Cheese-Whiz tastes completely different in Canada. Or maybe it isn’t.

Is it better or worse?

That’s subjective, I suppose. But I personally prefer American Cheese-Whiz.

You make me sad.

I gotta be me.

But honestly, do you remember what Canadian Cheese-Whiz tastes like? It’s horrible. It’s the Miracle Whip of the fake cheese world.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Brother Mythos on November 01, 2018, 11:30:09 pm
It took less than a week for this thread to go from “U.S. resistance politics” to “international spray cheese.”
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Doktor Howl on November 02, 2018, 01:25:47 am
It took less than a week for this thread to go from “U.S. resistance politics” to “international spray cheese.”

:lulz:

Sorry, I have the attention span of a cat.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Bruno on November 02, 2018, 05:55:00 am
It took less than a week for this thread to go from “U.S. resistance politics” to “international spray cheese.”

CHEEZ WHIZ ISN'T SPRAY CHEESE!!!!!!1  :crankey:
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Cain on November 02, 2018, 10:41:53 am
It took less than a week for this thread to go from “U.S. resistance politics” to “international spray cheese.”

Half of America's problems are related to what it considers to be cheese.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Brother Mythos on November 03, 2018, 01:28:19 am
It took less than a week for this thread to go from “U.S. resistance politics” to “international spray cheese.”

CHEEZ WHIZ ISN'T SPRAY CHEESE!!!!!!1  :crankey:

(https://i.imgur.com/xl9QpN5.jpg)




(https://i.imgur.com/6Q9TNP2.jpg)
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Bruno on November 03, 2018, 06:00:49 am
It took less than a week for this thread to go from “U.S. resistance politics” to “international spray cheese.”

CHEEZ WHIZ ISN'T SPRAY CHEESE!!!!!!1  :crankey:

(https://i.imgur.com/xl9QpN5.jpg)




(https://i.imgur.com/6Q9TNP2.jpg)

While it seems that this product no longer exists, it does show up as an item on the Walmart.com, though listed as "Out of Stock", and does not appear on the Kraft website on the Cheez Whiz page (https://www.kraftrecipes.com/products/10187/snacks-cookies-chips/cheez-whiz), It did apparently at one time exist, and therefore I must rule my argument INVALID.


Good show, sir. Very good show. :golfclap:
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Doktor Howl on November 03, 2018, 04:33:12 pm
Regular cheese is just a loaf of milk, though.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Bruno on November 04, 2018, 03:38:43 am
Regular cheese is just a loaf of milk, though.

Now you're just being silly.
Title: Re: Looking for ideas
Post by: Brother Mythos on November 06, 2018, 03:30:10 am
Tyrannosaurus vex, if you're still soliciting ideas after The Spray Cheese Hijacking, there's a bit of fun to be had with the following: 

From the REPUBLICAN PLATFORM 2016:

Restoring the American Dream

Reducing the Federal Debt
Our national debt is a burden on our economy
and families. The huge increase in the national
debt demanded by and incurred during the current
Administration has placed a significant burden on
future generations. We must impose firm caps on
future debt, accelerate the repayment of the trillions
we now owe in order to reaffirm our principles of
responsible and limited government, and remove
the burdens we are placing on future generations.
A strong economy is one key to debt reduction,
but spending restraint is a necessary component
that must be vigorously pursued.

It certainly didn't take long for them to throw most of that platform plank away. But, never fear, it will turn up again in the REPUBLICAN PLATFORM 2020, especially the bit about spending restraint. And, we already know what programs they'll want to “restrain.”