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In many ways this rant is spot on.

However, it's assuming that the people on www.principiadiscordia.com are the extent of the Discordian movement or that discusions on www.principiadiscordia.com are the extent of the actions of the people that discuss things on www.principiadiscordia.com

Edit: also, as much as I like the Church of the SubGenius, it's not like they're doing any better. At least the routine was original when the Discordian Society did it.

All of the true things that I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

Plz note the pentagon.

Somebody is obligated to do this, so I might as well get it over with:

FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD FNORD

The Maude Senger Cabal, which has various devisions, too many to name while so hung over from a massive sugar and caffeine buzz

But, the meaning of life is written in the tiny font. In fact, reality doesn't make any fucking sense at all without it.

You gobshite

INTERVIEW WITH TEDDY ROOSEVELT & THE ROUGH RIDERS (part 1 of 3)
taken from the Art section of the Mungojerry Chronicle

LAWRENCE FITZGERALD DEHAVELUND, MUSIC EDITOR FOR THE MUNGOJERRY CHRONICLE: I,Äôm talking with the enigmatic, eccentric, and controversial new band, Teddy Roosevelt and the Rough Riders. The band,Äôs critics define it as a highly bebop-, hard bop-, and psychedelic influenced progressive rock band. Although they heavily embrace their bop, acid, and prog roots, they prefer the term ,ÄúDiscordian Theocratic Genre Terrorist,Äù

TEDDY ROOSEVELT: We also prefer the term ,Äúmilitant Anarcho-Extropian music-related commune,Äù to ,Äúband,Äù

LAWRENCE: I,Äôm sitting heir in their heavily fortified top-secret bunker that has a decorative style that,Äôs part Ken Kesey, part Havey Pekar. In front of me, from left to right, is the band,Äôs manager, Chaplin Sinatra Fonzarelli Roosevelt, the lead singer and guitarist Teddy Roosevelt, the  pianist Deloris Petunia Zoloft Roosevelt, blind blues-harp player, Jefferson ,ÄúJeffmo,Äù Roosevelt,Äù, saxaphonist Rip Delahouse Roosevelt, and his all-girl brass band, drummer and sagely brash and Bachanalean German death metal artist Newin Z?§r Roosevelt, authentic Appalachian broom-player Zeke Dweezil Roosevelt, the three-man Mariachi band, ,ÄúLos Paranois,Äù, half-French, half-Japanese lesbian furry otaku DJ Akiko LaChaise Roosevelt, and local established gospel band Reverend X and the Almost Saved Boys.
        First off, what,Äôs with the name? Kind of patriarchal, don,Äôt you think?

SINATRA: Well, we,Äôre doing to this city and this city,Äôs music scene what the U.S. is doing to Latin America and the Middle East. The Discordian Society in all of it,Äôs incarnations has declared war on the city of Harrisonburg. We are invading local venues and playing our music whether people want us to or not. We are raping the women and stealing the land of your mind. The Discordian Society,Äôs smallpox blankets are called ,ÄúOperation Mindfuck,Äù. We will force our way of thinking on you. Well, ,Äúforce on you,Äù is a bit hyperbolic. We will merely make our way of life known, which will force you to come to terms with how right we are.

DELORIS: Oh, Fonz is a pompous bag of shit. Like all good band names, we chose it because it sounds cool.

AKIKO: Yeah, do you think ,ÄúThe Beatles,Äù or ,ÄúPink Floyd,Äù or ,ÄúThe Who,Äù means anything?

DELORIS: Or ,ÄúBig Brother in the Holding Company,Äù or ,ÄúBand of Gypsies,Äù or ,ÄúMothers of Invention,Äù?

AKIKO: The more meaningless the name, the better. ,ÄúBlonde Redhead,Äù is going to be around for a long time not only because they,Äôre talented and because they have a good sound but also because their name conveys nothing but a crude basic irony. It,Äôs like a mondo, the more you think about it, the less sense it makes, but the more sense you feel it should make.

LAWRENCE: So why so many Roosevelts?

TEDDY: Nepotism.

LAWRENCE: And what are some of your influences?

TEDDY: Rather than highlight some of the hundreds of more well-known influences stewing in the blender of our brains, I,Äôll name some local artists that have inspired us; the music of Terry Turtle, Steve Speakman, Virginia Jihad, Red River Rollercoaster, and Mike Deaton, the plays of Tom King and Jay Zehr, the paintings of Wes Way, Sean Landis, and Lyn Lo, the writing of Billy Brett and Quiet T. Please, the productions put on by The Playhouse, the comedy of Nickels and Wiener, the community work of Rev. Ron Copeland, and the story-telling of Maude Senger. Oh, and of course Snuffy Smith by John Rose.

LAWRENCE: OK, I,Äôve never heard of any of those people. Moving on, care to explain this Discordian thing to those not hip?

SINATRA: It,Äôs Christianity if the four gospels were written by Groucho, Harpo, Cheeko, and Zeppo. It,Äôs Buddhism if The Buddha was Andy Kaufman. It,Äôs Taoism if Lao-Tsu was Lewis Carroll. It,Äôs Polytheism in the Gods were the Muppets, Judaism if the old prophets were the Goons, the Bonzo Dog Dooh-Dah Band, and Monty Python, Marxism-Leninism if you mean Groucho and John, the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn if it was founded by Firesign Theatre, and Islam if the Archangel Gabriel talked to Bugs Bunny. We believe there,Äôs nothing that can,Äôt be accomplished with a complete and total lack of seriousness or maturity. But there,Äôs more to it than that. Google ,ÄúPrincipia Discordia,Äù if you,Äôre psychotic enough for this to intrigue you.

LAWRENCE: This next question is for the good reverend. Is there any significance behind your name and the name of your band?

REV. X: I named myself ,ÄúReverend X,Äù to show that Jesus can still be cool. You know, there all of these ,ÄúX,Äù games with all of these kids bouncing off little cement ramps, why can,Äôt I be Rev. X, you know? It gives me a bit of mystery. And we,Äôre the Almost Saved because the Bible clearly tells us to be humble and to be good for the sake of being good, not out of pride. I think anyone who thinks they aren,Äôt going to hell probably is.

LAWRENCE: And you, a devout Christian, find no contradiction in being closely associated with a group of musicians who have been known for excessive promiscuous sex, with both genders, sexual deviation, revelry, psychoactive drug use, radical Left-wing politics, Pagan god worship, witchcraft, theft, vandalism, disobedience, and mischief?

REV. X: (laughter) We are all imperfect children of the Lord. My friendship with these ladies and gentlemen is based on our shared passion for the craft of music.

SINATRA: Yeah, when I assembled this band, I really wanted that authentic gospel sound. I don,Äôt think anyone can make it other then a sincere Christian. I think the Holy Ghost needs to enter you, like up the ass, like it,Äôs a giant dildo or something.

REV. X: Uhm,Ķyes.

Oh, stop lecturing.

Verthaine doesn't lecture. He just politely informs you of the 100 percent truth.

I don't worship Eris.  She died with her people millenia ago, and to revive her smacks of neo-paganism (ugh).

Neo-Paganism is worshipping Pagan gods as a reaction against Christianity. I worship Pagan gods because they are real

But the principle is the same.  God shouldn't be trusted to do what you want, just because you've been good.  That leads to a dependence, which leads to expectations, which leads to the inevitable, "Why!!!" when things go wrong.  The real why is, God might not even exist, and if He* does, you'd better not get his attention, cause he's just as likely to kick you in the ass as to pat you on the head and give you a lolly.  
I'm so sick of these people who depend on their God to do all their thinking for them.  They've got a Bible (or whatever) quote for everything, an aphorism to apply to each situation, and a treachant mindset like a groove in titanium steel.  Righteousness replaces thinking.  Why bother thinking for themselves when they've had people to do it for them for thousands of years?  

While deities and magic are a crucial part of my life, relying on them for everything is utterly stupid. You can't trust most deities as far as you can throw them. Even the straight-acting ones like Zeus and Odin and YHWH and Quexlcoatl usually have an agenda. The human brain is wired towards superstition and idealism and creating non-existent patterns and Gods and rituals to help them get through drudgery. It's best to accept this and use it to your advantage, but just because flowers grow from beautiful bullshit, doesn't mean you should cover yourself in so much bullshit that you can't see the sky.

Xian literalists don't believe that there is one angry bearded God who lives in the sky with bird people in a golden palace who either lets people live with him or tosses them into a lake of fire inhabited by goat people, and that the King James Bible is the literal word of this God because they are fools, they do it because in their reality, that is what's real. And people like Nietzsche, Hegel, Marx, Engels, and Bakunin didn't reject everything but the material world and proclaim God to be dead because they were cranks, but because in their reality, that is what was real. (Of course, in my reality, they are fools and cranks, but no more foolish or cranky than me)

But enough complaining.  After all, God will sort them out in the end.  If there is a god.  Atheism is boring, though, so I might as well as believe in something.

Now that, I agree with. Atheism and Monotheism both seem pretty dull to me. I try to make my reality as exciting as possible.

I proclaim myself the rabid badger of God. Guard your ankles well.

Will do.

I wasn't doing Chef, either. I was doing Turd. He's not doing Chef. Like you said, there's more to Chef than typing in all-caps. People have been typing in caps since the Internet invented.

THIS BOARD: MORE RETARDED THAN PRESIDENT BUSH

[this too shall pass.]

Hey Fonz,

I know where you're at, I've been there a million times, and all I can say is this too shall pass. If activism's really in your blood, then you'll find your path again, if not, you'll find something else, but don't beat yourself up about it.

I mean, honestly, it makes me roll my eyes to see Live 8 or some of these other fashionable protests and think "Oh, someone thinks they're gonna save the world with a heap of celebrity masturbation" but it never does does it? No, the stuff that makes life bearable is never a grand or permanent solution, there's no deus ax machina coming our way, but if small victories are all we get, then my philosophy is to grab as many as possible. YMMV.

Yeah, don't worry. I go through these all the time. I was depressed and hung over when I wrote that and I'm over-dramatic when I'm depressed. I think my revolutionary spirit's coming back. I have the energy to blow up an oil tanker again.

NOT THAT I CONDONE VIOLENCE OMG

A year ago, I would have made a fourth of July post saying "OMG AMERICA SUCKS WE'RE SO FAT AND STUPID AND APATHETIC AND OUR PRESIDENT LOOKS LIKE A MONKEY LOL" while my fat white ass got bigger from food from the kitchen as people are starving and other people are getting blown up for oil that's used to power this computer.

I think I've matured a little. Actually, this last week, I've had my climax of starry-eyed Utopian Anarchist idealism and have begun my descent into cynical Post-Leftism. Probably the same thing the hippies were going through in the early 70s. It's not a pretty thing. realizing that there's nothing you can do and that civilization will always suck and that Bush/Nixon is not the Anti-Christ that the world will stand in opposition against but just another in a long line of privilidged white men answering to the higher calling that is greed and that making LJ posts about how much America sucks won't help anything and in it's own way, Western Europe is just as bad and that you're just contributing to a trite homogenous fashion statement.

So, unless I get out of this funk, (I don't know if it's permanent or just temporary) I'm hanging up my activist's coat and hat. You've done it, system, you've crushed another voice of dissent and turned it into a bitter, apathetic husk of a former self. No anti-jingoist rant for me. I don't care. In a million years, maybe, the plants and animals will have reconquered the Earth. No more LJ icons saying "Fuck Bush", no more flyers raving about the Neo-Con agenda, no more pretending that boycotting Wal-Mart makes a difference.

Americanism has won.

Pink Floyd is actually probably overrated. (Except the word "overrated" is thrown around so much by music nerds it no longer has any meaning) Not to say that they aren't mind-numbingly awesome, but they're made out to be the Mecca of post-60s psychedelia, as if not listening to them every single night and being seen without a faded Dark Side of the Moon T-shirt was some sort of sin against hippie-dom, when in reality, there are prog rock bands like ELO and The Moody Blues that are almost as good and get no recognition at all.

The Beatles and Pink Floyd are tied in terms of pure unadulterated awesomeness but are both trumped by Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention. If any one person has earned the right to make fun of The Beatles, it's Frank Zappa, and he's dead.