Messages

I like the idea I'm getting from this a lot: the EU should consolidate further for the sole reason of pissing off all the bigger nations now that we've done such a sterling job of buggering up all the little ones. Gives a whole new meaning to patriotism too.

dim, feeling dirty but looking forward to more wars.

[How in the fuck is that a bad thing?]

Beautiful piece Cain.

I agree almost entirely with your arguments about the EU, the only thing I could possibly add is my personal view that if we are going to have governments (and for the forseeable future it looks like we are) the bigger and more confused they are the better.

Also as I like saying to all the little englanders I meet's argument that the EU is taking powers away from "our" government: How in the fuck is that a bad thing?

Intermission

Spam in the place where I live (Ham and Pork)
Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it
Spam in my lunchbox at work (it's the best)
Really makes a darned good sandwich anyway you slice it at all

If you're running low, go to the store.
Carry some money to help you buy more
The tab is going to open the can
The can is there to hold in the Spam

Spam on the table at home (ham and pork)
Think about selection; are there differnt flavors?
Spam in my office at work (it's the best)
Think about the stuff it's made from- wonder if it's mystery meat

If you need a spoon, keep one around
Carry a thermos to help wash it down
Now if there's some left, don't just throw it out
Use it for spackle or bathroom grout

Spam in my pantry at home (have some more)
Think of expiration- better read the label
Spam- breakfast, dinner, or lunch (it's the best)
Think about the way it's pre-cooked- wonder if I'll just eat it cold

Now once you start in you can't put it down
Don't leave it sitting, or it'll turn brown
The key is going to open the tin
The tin is there to keep the Spam in

Oh, Spam (Spam!)
Ham and pork
Think about nutrition- wonder what's inside it
Spam (spam!)
It's the best
Really makes a darned good sandwich any way you slice it

Spam in the place where I live (have some more)
Think about addiction, wonder if I'm a junkie (let's eat!)
Spam in the place where I work (you're obsessed)Think about the way is processed- wonder if it's some kind of meat

Spam in the back of my car
Spam anyplace that you are


Oh, Spam!

[Epilogue]

Epilogue

... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
..(b^_^)b______<(^_^<)___________
Antonio: Cool! got my hat back!

... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
..(b^_^)b______<(^_^<)___________

... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
..(b^_^)b______(>^_^)>___________

... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
..(b^_^)b______<(^_^<)___________
Kirby: Is that all that's going to happen in this epilogue?
Antonio: Well Senor now you don't have a soul & a gagajabillion ,Ǩ - what do want to do?

... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
..(b^_^)b______<(^_^<)___________
Kirby: Ummm I dunno.
Antonio: Party?

... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
..(b^_^)b______<(^_^<)___________
Kirby: !!!PARTY!!!

~~a short time later~~

... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
..(b¤_¤)b=~_<3(. Y .)<3_~=<(¤_¤<)_<3(. Y .)<3__________
Antonio: This is good **** Amigo!
Kirby: Whooo Yeah! Baby bounce them#####CENSORED#####
Kakoluqia: ¬ø!WTF!? Who censored that!?
Kitty: Me! You godamnned sexist piece of ****!
Kako: Meh, Killjoy! Anyway - there's only this little part of the ending to go and we're done until the next story(guess what's it's going to be about):

__>x_,İ)>_______________--,<(,Ć_x<__
Zombie Mrs JF: Brains!
Zombie Mr JF: Brains!

OK so that's a wrap for my first Kirby ASCII Comic - There's a few obvious flaws but on the whole I like it for a first effort. The next one will be along in a few days - I want to leave a little time for this one to feel more closed.  Couple of changes for y'all to look forward to: as you all may have noticed Kitty wasn't in the first one for nearly long enough also you will have noticed that the ending commentaries are a bit too hostile to actually be me speaking about myself: therefore in future stories commentating duties will be handled by Kitty with the help of the owls;also I'm changing the way I prep the stories so that they'll flow better.

1. Of Grammatology by Jacques Derrida
2. Complete Books of Charles Hoy Fort
3. Labyrinths by Jorge Luis Borges
4. Godel, Escher, Bach by Douglas R. Hofstadter
5. Anything and everything by Franz Kafka
6. Anything and everything by Philip K. Dick.
7. The Book of Lies by Aleister Crowley
8. Liber Null and Psychonaut by Peter Carroll
9. The Complete Works of William Blake
10. As good a guide to the laws, legal system, system of governance etc of whatever country you happen live in as you can find.

dim - being a prententious SOB from conception.

[Part the Eleventh]

Part the Eleventh

*SPLASH*

<(,Ä°_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x_____________(/"X_x)/"¬´¬´>+^(^_^d)
Antonio: There!
Kirby: Brains?

<(,İ_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x_____________(/"6_6)/"___d(^_^d)
Kirby: ¬ø!WTF!?

<(,İ_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x_____________(>6_6)>___d(^_^d)
Kirby: What the hell was I doing!? And where the ****s your hat!?
Antonio: You were a zombie. God only resurrect you. He forgot to make your body alive again.

<(,İ_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x_____________(>^_^)>___d(^_^d)
Kirby: So what did you do?
Antonio: He gave me that liquid to throw at you to make your body alive again!

<(,İ_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x_____________(>^_^)>___d(^_^d)
Kirby: Cool! But seriously Where's your hat?
Antonio: It should be over where I died.

<(,İ_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x_____________(>^_^)>___<(^_^d)
Kirby: Let's go get it then.
Antonio: Si. That way.

<(,İ_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x_____________<(9_9<)___d(^_^d)
Kirby: ¬ø!WTF!? What happened to the Jesus Freaks!?
Antonio: Heheheh! You ate them Senor.

<(,İ_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x_____________(>6_6)>___d(^_^d)
Kirby: Why the crap didn't you stop earlier?
Antonio: They ate me, so I let you eat them.

<(,Ä°_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x__#¬ª¬´#_______(>;_;)>___d(^_^d)
Kirby: But know I'm a cannibal! I'm going to Hell!
Antonio: It not so bad - apart from the surprise buttseckz!

<(,Ä°_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x#¬ª?í(>'0_0')>?í¬´#_(>;_;)>___d(^_^d)
Satan: Hey I told you about that!

<(,Ä°_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x__?í(>'-_-')>?í___<(;_;<)___d(^_^d)
Kirby: So now I'm going to hell anyway I guess I don't get the money.
Satan: I wish, but the rules are you have to sign for me to win.

<(,Ä°_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x__?í(>'-_-')>?í-<($_$<)_____d(^_^d)
Kirby: !!MONEY!!
Satan: Yup, just sign here, here & here + here...........................

THE END

What you all thought the writer was going to come up with a way of saving Kirby? Screw that - he's in the money now! So what's going to happen to him now that he's loaded? Will he just live happily ever after - well up until the lake of fire for eternity bit at the end? Or will he keep getting into trouble for the sake of boosting the popularity of this n00b? Guess! (PS there will be an epilogue so check back in a day or so anyway).

[Part the Tenth]

Sowwee! I've been away for a few days I should have posted saying something but it was all a bit rushed.

Part the Tenth

(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--______________<(X_x)>_?í<('0_0'<)?í
Kirby: Brains!
Mrs JF: ********! Zombie! Kill it!
Mr JF: Godamnnit! I already used all my bullets killing his ass first time!
Satan: This is not supposed to happen!

(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)______________(/"X_x)/"?í#<('0_0'<)?í#
Kirby: Brains
Mr JF: What do you think we should do?
Satan: **** this spooky ****! I'm outta here!

<(,İ_,İ<)--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_________________(/"X_x)/"E
Kirby: Contract?!
Mrs JF: Damn he's fast! I think the devil had the right idea!

<(,İ_,İ<)--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)______________"\(x_X"\)___
Kirby: Brains!
Mr JF: Hurry up you fat *****! He's getting closer!

<(,Ä°_,Ä°<)--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)__________"\(x_X"\)_______#¬ª¬´#
Kirby: Brains!
Mrs JF: Why the hell are we so fat?!

<(,Ä°_,Ä°<)--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____"\(x_X"\)____________¬•d(^_^d)
Kirby: Brains!
Mr JF: We're Americans!
Antonio: Ahh. It good to be back!

<(,Ä°_,Ä°<)__--,<(,Ć_x"\(x_X"\)_____________________¬•d(^_^d)
Kirby: Where the ****ing brains at man?!
Mrs JF: I guess I'll be seeing you darling.
Antonio: Where the **** is my hat?

<(,Ä°_,Ä°<)__"\(x_X"\)--,<(,Ć_x_______________________¬•d(^_^d)
Kirby: Still want brains!
Mrs JF: Why'd I marry such an idiot anyways!?
Antonio: Heh! This funny! Serves you racist ****s right!

<(,Ä°_x"\(x_X"\)_______--,<(,Ć_x_______________________¬•d(^_^d)
Kirby: Still no ****ing brains! I'm hungry!
Antonio: Yoohoo! Over here amigo!

<(,Ä°_x_______(/"X_x)/"--,<(,Ć_x_______________________¬•d(^_^d)
Kirby: Brains!
Antonio: That's right amigo! come get some!

<(,Ä°_x_______________--,<(,Ć_x_______(/"X_x)/"________¬•d(^_^d)
Kirby: Brains!

What is Antonio playing at? How did the Jesus Freaks survive without brains? Why the hell do zombies like brains so much anyhow? Why wasn't a redneck gun nut carrying a spare clip? What do brains taste like?

[Part the Ninth]

Part the Ninth

........./##\........
.......\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____?í___¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>___¬Æ
St Peter: Theres your walking stick sir!
God:  Thank you Mathew.

........./##\........
......\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____?í___¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>___¬Æ
St Peter: It's Peter sir.
God: Again: Why should I care? Now, Kirby?

........./##\........
......\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>___¬Æ
Kirby: Yes.
God: Why are you here. You're supposed to be getting tempted by my son.

........./##\........
......\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>6_6)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>___¬Æ
Kirby: ¬ø!WT!? Satans your son? And he was supposed to be tempting me?
God: Of course Satan is my son! In fact he's my good son.

........../##\........
.......\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>6_6)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>___¬Æ
Kirby: Why was he trying to get my soul then?
God: It's a game we play every few years to see who's more popular.

........../##\........
.......\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>___¬Æ
Kirby: So who's winning?
God: I was up until I had Jesus - then the whole thing went to pot.

........../##\........
.......\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>___¬Æ
God: Anyway that's irrelevant - you're not supposed to be here yet or maybe even at all.
Kirby: Hey, I'm in heaven - you don't here me complaining!

........../##\........
.......\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b___¬ª¬ª#(>6_6)>#___?í___¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>___¬Æ
God: Not for much longer! Back to Earth

........../##\........
.......\\\\\\///////...
¬ª¬ª#(b^_^)b#_____##__________¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í__#¬•#_<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>___¬Æ
Antonio: What about me Senor?
God: Wait a minute! **** I knew I forgot something! Here [mexican guy] take this with you!

......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...___________________?í<(*_*<)_____(>,Ä¢_,Ä¢)>\__¬Æ
St Peter: *mutters*And now I have to clean up the hat [sugar]
God: Why the **** should I care?

(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--______________<(X¬Øx)>_?í<('??_??'<)?í
Satan: ****! I'm going to have to start all over again!
Kirby: Brains!
Mrs JF: Uh oh!

Meh. I've given up on ever seeing Kitty again. I hate this writer - only one pair of boobs in the whole damn comic and they would have to belong to a girl with an IQ higher than room temperature. I'm sulking.

[Part the Eigth]

Sorry for the delay!

Part the Eigth

......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b___________¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>______?í<(*_*<)¬´¬´
St Peter: You're Kirby? [sugar]!
Kirby: Yes. What's the problem?

......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b___________¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>______?í<(*_*<)¬´¬´
St Peter: You're going to have to come see God with me.
Kirby: Cool, but why?
Antonio: Can I come too Senor?

......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(q^_^)q___________¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>______?í<(*_*<)¬´¬´
St Peter: No.
Antonio: Awwwhh!
Kirby: He's with me

......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(q^_^)q___________¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>______¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í
St Peter: Alright but keep your mouth shut. This way
Antonio: Yay! *mutters*racist [sugar]

......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>__¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___,Ä?__/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢>¬Æ
Kirby: Hey who's the blind dude?
St Peter : Shhh! That's God!
God: *muttering* stupid little springy bit! Where is it?

......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____?í__¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>,Ä?/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢>¬Æ
St Peter: Here it is sir!
God: Ahhh, excellent work there Gabriel! There put it back in!

......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢>¬Æ
St Peter: Sir, I'm Peter not Gabriel.
God: I don't care!
Kirby: Excuse me. God, what are you doing?

......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢>¬Æ
God: Huhh? Whazzzat? Oh I'm making watches - I believe you monkeys call them solar systems.
Kirby: But you're blind!
God: So? Discriminatory *******

......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____?í<(*_*<)¬´¬´___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢>¬Æ
Antonio: Hey Senor, you can swear!
God ¬ø!WTF!? A [mexican guy]*!? How the **** you get in?
St Peter *mutters* I told you to stay quiet.

......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(q^_^)q____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢>¬Æ
Kirby: What's the matter - don't you like mexicans?
God: No of course not - if I liked them I'd have hardly have made Mexico would I?
Antonio: *mutters* Racist [sugar]

......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í___/<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢>¬Æ
God: Anyway, who are you?
Kirby: I'm Kirby.

......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b____¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>____¬ª¬ª(>*_*)>?í__\_<(,Ä¢_,Ä¢>_¬Æ
God: ¬ø!KIRBY!?

*You know even if God himself says it I'm still not going to type it.

Why is God so shocked to see Kirby? Why does god hate mexicans? Is the idiot writer just trying to offend or does he actually think that he's making a valid point about the problem of evil? Does the writer really think anybody on teh internets is going to get blind watchmaker jokes? ¬ø!AND WHERE IS KITTY!?

[Part the Seventh]

Part the Seventh

>BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG click<

(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--________¬?_¬?_¬?_¬?_¬?<(?ó_?ó)>-?í<('0_0'<)?í
Mr JF: No you ain't!
Kirby: *death rattle*
Satan: !****! !****! All that ****ing work up the ****er!

(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--______________<(?ó_?ó)>_?í<('0_0'<)?í
Mrs JF: Hallejuh! You saved him!
Mr JF: I certainly did! Now I shall definitaly get to heaven!
Satan: ¬ø!WTF!? You murdering nutjob freaks just killed him!

(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--______________<(?ó¬Ø?ó)>_?í<('??_??'<)?í
Mrs JF: But now he won't go to hell!
Satan: Free will you sons of *****'es!
Mr JF: **** is up with that body?

~~meanwhile~~

___________________»»(>^_^<)««_________
Kirby: ¬ø!WTS!? What happened? Where am I?

__________________»»(>^_^<)««_________
Kirby: ¬øWT? What The Sugar? Hey, how come I can't swear? And why have I got wings?

...... /##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..»»(b^_^)b___________»»(>^_^<)««_________
Antonio: Hola mis amigo!
Kirby:What are you doing here? Where is this? Where's my coffee & [fluffy bunny pictures]?

......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..»»(q^_^)q___________»»(>^_^<)««_________
Kirby:!!¬øFLUFFY BUNNY PICTURES?!! What I can't think bad thoughts?
Antonio: Of course not this Heaven! It really boring. I even missing the surprise [tickleing]

......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..»»(q^_^)q___________»»(>^_^)>_________
Kirby: Right where's the manager? I want to complain?
Antonio: Is a queue - St Peter he get round to us eventually.

~~much waiting~~

......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(q^_^)q___________¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>______?í<(*_*<)¬´¬´
St Peter: Right, name please?
Kirby: Kirby
Antonio: ¬øWT? I even get discriminated against in heaven?

......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(q^_^)q___________¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>______?í<(*_*<)¬´¬´
St Peter: Yes.
Antonio: ![sugar]!

......./##\........
...\\\\\\///////...
..¬ª¬ª(b^_^)b___________¬ª¬ª(>^_^)>______?ív(*_*v)¬´¬´
St Peter: And you said your name was Kirby, right? Waitagoddamnedminute?! ¬ø!Kirby!?
Kirby: Yes. Why, is there a problem?

Will Kirby fit in in Heaven? Is Heaven where Kitty lives? Can we please see her breasts again? Why is St Peter shocked to meet Kirby? And why are mexicans discriminated against everywhere? Answers next issue! Maybe.

[Part the Sixth]

Thank you \m/.^_^:\m/ - for once actually not minding being called a n00b

Part the Sixth

... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
:..(b^_^)b_______--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)__<(,İ_,İ<)
Antonio: Hi! Anybody tell me where I can get coffee round here?
Mr JF: Holy **** a boarder jumper!

... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
..(b^_^)b_______--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)__<(,İ_,İ<)
Antonio: Oh and I need some pr0n as well please senors.
Mrs JF: And a pervert! Shoot him! Shoot him!

... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
.q(^_^q)____¬?_¬?_¬?_--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)__<(,Ä°_,Ä°<)
Antonio: Ok! I'm going now!
Mr JF: Not so quick!

>BANG BANG BANG<

... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
.q(?ó_?óq)______--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)__<(,Ä°_,Ä°<)
Antonio: Iiieeee! I die! And I never got to tell my burritos I love hiim!
Mrs JF: Woohooo! #####CENSORED#####(ahhhh not more racism again)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(yup more racism. damn I hate these guys)

... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
.q(?ó_?óq)______--,<(,Ć_,Ć)>__<(,Ä°_,Ä°<)
Mr JF: ¬øWTF was a [mexican guy]* doing round here anyways?
Mrs JF: I bet he has something to do with that hippy and the guy with the horns.

*No way am I typing that word

... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
.q(?ó_?óq)_______(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--__<(,Ä°_,Ä°<)
Mr JF: Yeah. We should check them out!
Mrs JF: Well, let's eat first!

~~a short while later~~

... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...____(>,Ćo,Ć)>,--__<(,İo,İ)>_<(?o?<)__<(^.^)>__
Mrs JF: Buuuurrrrrrrrrrppppp! Damn fine [mexican guy]* there!
Mr JF: Buuuuuuurrrrrrrrrppppppp! Yup he surely was!

*Still not bloody typing it!

... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...______(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--__<(,İ_,İ<)___(>?_?)>__<(^.^)>__
Mr JF: Ok lets go kill the hippy and Satan
Mrs JF: Yeehaaww!


~~Meanwhile~~

___________________________(>$_$)>-?í<('-_-'<)
Satan: So if you just sign here, here & here. Oh and here + here & here.
Kirby: Mmmhmhmnn: !$!MONEY!$!


(>,Ä°_,Ä°)>(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--____________<($_$)>-?í<('-_-'<)?í
Mr JF: ¬ø!WTF!?
Mrs JF: You ain't signing that contract are you?!
Kirby: Well, yeah!



Will Kirby finish signing the contract? Why does Satan need his signature so many times? And just wtf is up with people called Jesus Freak eating people? Is this strip just being too rude to christians? Or is there really a conspiracy of christian cannibals? And where is Kitty? Next issue might just possibly answer some of these questions. But probably not. Don't get your hopes up.

[Part the Fifth]

Part the Fifth

______________(>^_^)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: So a gagajabillion ,Ǩ do?
Kirby: Well you were going to give me someone as well.

______________(^¬è??_??)^__________<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: yeah but you a perv so she left.
Kirby: I want somebody! Anybody!

_________#¬ª¬´#(>^_^)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: K

__________(>n_(>O_O)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Mystery Guy: Man the things I do for cookies!
Kirby: Hey! No not like that!
Satan: Hehehe! Homophobe.

___________#¬ª¬´#(>6_6)>__________<('¬¨_¬¨'<)?í
Kirby: That was not funny!
Satan: I laughed.

________________(>6_6)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby: *******! Anyway if I can't have girl I want a servant.
Satan: Mexican guy who'll work for shiny pebbles do?

#¬ª¬´#_________(>^_^)>__________<('-o-'<)?í
Kirby: Nicely!
Satan: *whistles* Antonio!

... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
..(b^_^)b______<(^_^<)__________<('-_-'<)?í
Antonio: Si Senor!
Satan: You work for this guy now.
Kirby: Cool!

... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
..(b^_^)b______<(^_^<)__________<('0_0'<)?í
Antonio: Gracias Senor! No more surprise buttseckz!
Satan: I told you never to mention that! It was dark! I was looking for Kitty!

... /##\........
\\\\\\///////...
..(b^_^)b______<(^_^<)__________<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby: Ok, Antonio you go get me coffee. And pr0n! Now!
Antonio: Si Antonio go now.

______________(>^_^)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: So we have a deal then I take it ?

Wow still no Kitty? I mean that's all anybody's reading for, right? This is teh internets: we want boobies! Oh and some people (who for some bizarre reason are not fascinated by breasts might be wondering - will Kirby sign the contract? Will Antonio manage to find coffee and pr0n in rednack land? How do I get cheap immigrant labour who'll work for shiny pebbles? Does anyone really think that any of these questions will be answered in the next strip?

[Interval 01]

Interval 01

Catch up time with the Jesus Freaks


(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(still really bad)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(I'm starting to wish they'd stop swearing)

(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(now that's just plain nasty)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(please stop)

(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(that's not very nice!)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(your ruining my comic you know)

(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć)>_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(Oi! no racism - now that really is disgusting)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(hey! theres no need to be rude about me!)

(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(stopitstopitstopitstopitstopitstopit)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(for ****'s sake! oh **** now you've got me swearing too - happy now?

(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(hey is that true?)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(no, if that's true she's got a point)

(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(now watch it that could be libelous)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(oh! so it <I>is</I> true)

(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(yeah you get him girl!)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(WHAT!? she really did that?)

(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(OMG! you really did do that. nasty!)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(yeah you get her now!)

(>,İ_,İ)>--,<(,Ć_,Ć<)_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(ooh nice comeback)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(Oi! no death threats - I'm temporarily removing your gun!)

<(,İ_,İ)>__<(,Ć_,Ć)>_____________
Mr JF:#####CENSORED#####(I've already told you about swearing at me!)
Mrs JF: #####CENSORED#####(¬øWTF? why are you backing him up?)

<(,İ_,İ)>__<(,Ć_,Ć)>_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(no he doesn't have the right to do that)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(and stop swearing at me!)

<(,İ_,İ)>__<(,Ć_,Ć)>_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(alright fine I'll give it back - I don't care if he shoots you!)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(here you go)

(>,İ_,İ)><3__<3<(,Ć_,Ć)>,--_____________
Mrs JF:#####CENSORED#####(actually what they're saying is fine...)
Mr JF: #####CENSORED#####(...it's just too gooey for my tastes)

(>,İ_,İ)>___(>,Ć_,Ć)>,--_______
Mrs JF: Hadn't we better go and check on how that boy is doing?
Mr JF: Yeah, I reckon so. Going to shoot me a devil!

So no sign of Kitty's breasts but at least you know what the Jesus Freaks are like. Not that anybody could really want to know. Pity about the lack of Kitty. Anyway maybe something interesting will happen next strip. But I doubt it. This guy can't write for ****.

That Bible According to Kirby I mentioned in my first post? I got ahold of it now - if anyone wants a copy private message me with an email address & I'll send it out as soon as I have a spare moment. It's fucking hilarious.

[Part the Fourth]

Part the Fourth

~(¬ª_¬´)~________(>^o^)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby: Buuurrrrrrppppp! Good bunny! Oh and seriously nice trick with breathing fire to cook it!
Satan: Well I try.
O47: My wabbit it Assplode!

~(¬ª_¬´)~________<(^_^<)__________<('-_-'<)?í
O47: Waaaahhhhh!
Kirby: Hello little girl.
Satan: Come and sit in Uncle Satan's lap!


~(¬ª_¬ª)~________<(^_^<)__________<('-_-'<)?í
O47: ¬ø!Pervert!?
Satan: I'll give you a cookie!

~(¬´_¬´)~________(>^_^)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
O47: Waaaghhhhhhhhhhh! Pervert!
Satan: Knew that would get rid of the little crybaby.
Kirby: That was mean.

______________(>^_^)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: Now about my purchasing that little old soul of yours?
Kirby: Well ok I'll listen to your offer.

______________(>^_^)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: Well just for starters how does a gagajabillion ,Ǩ sound?

______________(>$_$)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby: ¬ø!A GAGAJABILLION ,Ǩ?!
Satan Just for starters - don't forget money can't buy you happiness.

______________(>$_$)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby: !MONEY! !MONEY! !MONEY!
Satan: Calm down in return for your soul I'd also like to offer you a the most beautiful woman in the world

______________(>;_;)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby: But what if she doesn't like me?
Satan: Of course she'll like you - I like you don't I?

______________(>;_;)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby: but what if you only like for my soul?
Satan: If you don't stop being an emo sissy I'll ****in' eat you! Anyway don't you want to meet her?

____________(>^_^)>__________<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby: Ok!
Satan: That's better!

____________(>¬§_¬§)><3_#¬ª(~_~)¬´#_<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: She's called Kitty now be nice!
Kitty: Hi!
Kirby: !!ZOMG BOOBIES!!

<World Through Kirby's Eyes>

______________(>¬§_¬§)><3___(. Y .)___<('??_??'<)?í
Kirby: Nice shiny pretty boobies
Kitty: Oh for ****'s sake
Satan: I knew he'd blow it! Why did I try for sex appeal?

[/<World Through Kirby's Eyes>]

______________(>¬§_¬§)><3___(>_<)___<('??_??'<)?í
Kitty: !OI! Writer! ¬ø!WTF!? - ¬øWhy are my breasts on display?
Kakoluqia: Ummm it's an ASCII comic on an internet forum. Why should I go for complex and subtle plot devices when your breasts will get me ten time the number of readers.

______________(>¬§_¬§)><3___<(~_~)>__<('??_??'<)?í
Kitty: Because this is degrading and insulting!
Kakoluqia: So what are you going to do about it?
Kitty: Go!

______________(>¬§_¬§)><3__________<('??_??'<)?í
Kirby:Boobies! Huh! Where'd the boobies go?
Satan: She left because you're a pervert & you only cared about her breasts.

______________(>;_;)></3________<('??_??'<)?í
Kirby: You told me she'd like me!
Satan: You forgot to mention you were a sexist ass!

______________(>;_;)></3________<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: Now will just the gagajabillion ,Ǩ do?
Kirby: But I'm sad!

______________(>;_;)>_________¬©<('-_-'<)?í
Satan: Cookie?

______________(>^_^)>¬©_________<('-_-'<)?í
Kirby: Yay! Cookie!

Will Kitty & her breasts return? Will Kirby accept the offer of a gagajabillion ,Ǩ for his soul? What has happened to the Jesus Freaks since we last saw them? Where will the little girl go? But most importantly will Kitty & her breasts be coming back?