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GOD IS NOT LISTENING TO YOUR SILLY SONG.

HE HAS SPENT THE ENTIRE WEEK IN A CONFERENCE CALL WITH G.W. AND RUMMY GOING OVER STRATEGY FOR THE UPCOMING CRUSA...ER...PRE-EMPTIVE MILITARY ACTION AGAINST THE PERSIAN EMPI...ER...IRAN.

WE COULD USE A WRITER LIKE YOU. YOU EVER CONSIDER GETTING PAID TO SERVE YOUR COUNTRY HONORABLY, SOLDIER?

YOU BET YOUR ASS IT IS, SPANKY.

AND LET'S NOT KID EACH OTHER. YOU'LL DO WHATEVER WE WANT YOU TO AS LONG AS WE KEEP PAYING FOR ALL THE BAR GIRLS WHEN YOU'RE IN ZAMBOANGA.

YOU WON'T THINK IT'S SO GREAT WHEN YOU FIND OUT THAT I'VE BEEN USING IT AS A TALENT POOL FOR DRAFTEES TO SEND ON SUICIDE MISSIONS IN THE SOUTHERN PHILLIPINES.

The squirrel mafia wants to kill me.

WE CAN GIVE YOU THE TRAINING YOU NEED TO DEFEND YOURSELF, SOLDIER.

JOIN TODAY!

WE HAVE MORE THUMBS THAN YOU COULD POSSIBLY DREAM OF.

BLACK THUMBS, BROWN THUMBS, YELLOW THUMBS, HELL, EVEN SOME WHITE THUMBS ALTHOUGH THE WHITE THUMBS MAY STINK OF PATCHOULI AND JOINT SMOKE.

WE'LL EVEN GIVE YOU A REALLY BIG STICK.

WE THINK SHE WOULD MAKE A FINE INTERROGATOR.

THERE ISN'T A TOWELHEAD ALIVE THAT WOULDN'T TELL US WHATEVER WE WANT TO KNOW TO GET HER TO SHUT UP.

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO RE-UP, SOLDIER.

JUAREZ, ACTUALLY.

I'M ON LEAVE RIGHT NOW.

"SO HORRIBLE IT'S FUNNY" IS WHEN YOU WATCH A GANG OF 14 YEAR OLD SEWER RATS AMBUSH AN ENTIRE PLATOON OF AMERICAN SOLDIERS AND DISEMBOWEL THEM BEFORE HANGING THEI RMUTILATED BODIES FROM AN OVERPASS EXCEPT FOR THE UNLUCKY FEMALE SOLDIER WHO GETS TAKEN BACK TO THE SEWERS TO BE GANG-RAPED FOR THE NEXT WEEK UNTIL SHE EITHER DIES FROM DEHYDRATION OR MANAGES TO KILL HERSELF WHEN HER CAPTORS ARE BUSY GETTING HIGH ON PAINT.

YOU THINK YOUR PANTS ARE EXPLODING NOW?

WAIT UNTIL YOU STEP ON A LANDMINE IN THE SYRIAN DESERT, SON.

WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOU LIKE TO DO WITH YOUR TROUSER SNAKE ONCE THE DRAFT STARTS.

YOU'LL JUST GET SENT TO THE FRONT QUICKER.

THAT BOOK HAS AS SPECIAL PLACE ON OUR EMPEROR'S BOOKSHELF.

IT'S IN FRONT OF THE OTHER THREE.

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Kieth Richards is a DILLROD. What kind of idiot shoots heroin in his eyeball? I can't even smoke pot because of pee tests and my mom is such  BITCH, but that dillhole gets to shoot heroin all day? Rock stars are such RETARDS.