Messages

18316

Apple Talk / This is stupid...

« on: May 03, 2010, 07:53:08 pm »

I know I'm a newb, and I should probably lurk moar. But this is stupid. Why do my roommates want me to buy 4 liters of water when I can take my unlimited supply and boil it? And yeah, it's on me because I have today off. (I live in Eastern MA btw, and we have a water emergency)  . On the bright side my humanities homework is basically listen to Black Sabbath's paranoid and write about the importance of Heavy Metal. Not so bad after all.

18317

Aneristic Illusions / Re: Petitioners conned voters into switching to the GOP

« on: May 03, 2010, 01:44:11 am »

If done properly, you could probably swing an election by flooding a particular party for the purposes of the primary, and guarantee that an unappealing long-shot wins. Interesting in theory, not sure I trust the average voter though to not vote for the unlikely politician in question.

18318

Propaganda Depository / Re: TNG WTF

« on: May 01, 2010, 01:34:37 pm »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=414TmP12WAU 

Actually that was pretty good, I'll keep these in mind for when I need a larf

18319

GASM Command / Re: EvangeliGASM

« on: April 28, 2010, 09:00:58 am »

Nephew Twiddleton, those fake Jesus tracts sound pretty awesome! Can you post a link to the documents?

Ok, here's the thread (obviously, my name is Kevin but has been otherwise sanitized), feel free to edit to reflect your own city's public transport, and when I find my older stuff, I will post it in this thread, hopefully in the next week or two.

Thread:
Caitlin God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise and god hath chosen the weak of things of the world to confound the things which are mighty

April 19 at 10:57am via Text Message • Comment •LikeUnlike • View Feedback (16)Hide Feedback (16)
Kevin
Must have been some service last night. Have you found Jesus then? And if so where was he? My guess was waiting for the T. ooh, bad bad bad
April 19 at 11:01am •
Caitlin
Lol. Oh god here we go
April 19 at 11:04am
Kevin
At least he was waiting for an upper-case T this time around, yuk yuk yuk
April 19 at 11:04am •
Kevin
INRI on the MBTA, lol
"Blessed are those who wait for the bus in patience, for they shall inherit the free express bus." -Sermon at the bus stop
"Woe to you oh earth and sea, for the devil sends the bus with wrath, because he knows the wait is long. Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the bus, for it is a human number. It's number is 666." -St. John's Busocalypse
April 19 at 11:13am •
Kevin
"And the route was without form and void, and delays were on the face of the stop... and the LORD said, 'let there be bus!' and there was public transportation, and he saw that it was slow"-Book of Busenesis
"There was grumbling at the bus stop. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon fought, and his angels... and prevailed not. Neither anymore was their place found on the bus. And the great dragon was kicked off the bus. That old serpent called the Devil and Satan which delayeth the whole transit authority, he was kicked off of the bus and his angels were kicked off with him.” –St. John’s Busocalypse
April 19 at 11:19am •
Kevin
"I am the bus driver, your god, who brought you out of Roxbury. Thou shalt have no transportation before me." -Book of Exobus
April 19 at 11:20am •
Kevin
"Jesus waited" -shortest verse in the Busible
April 19 at 11:23am
Caitlin
Kevin your a tweak
April 19 at 11:23am
Kevin
"My bus, my bus, why have you abandoned me?" -Jesus at the T
April 19 at 11:24am •
Peter
LMFAO!!!!!!Kevin you are amazing!!
April 19 at 11:36am
Kevin
"Let him who hath not ridden cast the first Charlie Ticket!"
April 19 at 11:47am •
Peter
i think you need to start a new religion, and make up another panphlet to leave on busses around town
April 19 at 11:49am
Kevin
YESSSSSSS!!!!
April 19 at 11:49am •
Peter
when you do give me a bunch and i'll leave them around to be found
April 19 at 11:50am
Caitlin
We can hand them out like the jesus guys
April 19 at 11:50am
Peter 
we can trade with them lol
April 19 at 11:52a

18320

GASM Command / Re: EvangeliGASM

« on: April 28, 2010, 08:44:57 am »

Nephew Twiddleton, those fake Jesus tracts sound pretty awesome! Can you post a link to the documents?

Like I said, it's on my old computer. I can try and access it (the main problem is that the keyboard doesn't work, but I can try the mouse, transfer to a thumb drive and put it on my new computer). Other than that, I think that I have one left, so I'll probably need some time to track it down one way or the other, and see if I can scan it. If you want the MBTA pseudo Bible quote thread that I'm gonna run off of, wait a minute, I'll post it here.

18321

GASM Command / Re: EvangeliGASM

« on: April 28, 2010, 08:34:58 am »

YOU GUYS, I HAVE THE GREATEST IDEA EVER!

EvanJELLOism:

You make a bowl of jello, with a tract promoting your religion imbedded inside of it. But to get to it, your potential converts must eat the jello first.

Maybe what you could do is sneak it onto a help yourself table at a large party descretely. I did that sort of thing with EggGASM. Pretty good results.

18322

GASM Command / Re: EvangeliGASM

« on: April 28, 2010, 08:26:41 am »

YOU GUYS, I HAVE THE GREATEST IDEA EVER!

EvanJELLOism:

You make a bowl of jello, with a tract promoting your religion imbedded inside of it. But to get to it, your potential converts must eat the jello first.

I like it, but, I would be reluctant to eat Jello that had paper in it, even if it looked interesting. Plus, you would have to serve it to someone.

18323

GASM Command / Re: EvangeliGASM

« on: April 28, 2010, 05:41:04 am »

I know that this is about 2 and a half months later than the original post, but I've made fake tracts with Jesus on the front to make it look like a Christian tract, but with weird stuff inside. The gist of it was a take on WWJD, but saying that Jesus would have you think for yourself and not let a piece of paper do it for you, including this piece of paper. I included random quotes that had nothing to do with anything as well as a fun facts section, and in the end where they usually ask you to check off whether or not you've accepted Jesus, I put several options, some of which said something like, "Yes I will think for myself and not listen to a stupid tract" "This tract is stupid, therefore I will not think for myself" "Wait, what? Which one of the two above do I pick" and the last one was, "Ah, yes, yes, fnord, hail Eris and all that rot" I would leave them on the MBTA, and I gave some to my drummer, who, while not a Discordian, likes the idea of handing out fake tracts. Based on a recent facebook thread, he's encouraged me to do a new one that remixes Bible verses so that they include references to the MBTA, which I intend to do. Sadly, the original WWJD one is on my old computer which has decided to go into eternal slumber.

That said, I'm onboard. THis sort of thing is my style. I've been wanting to jump onto (and eventually pitch my own) GASMs, part of the reason I signed up here.

So I was sitting at a bar last night with EOT and, kind of out of the blue, the image of Cram on a streetcorner earnestly handing out Discordian pamphlets popped into my head. And it was funny. I laughed.

And then I was enlightened.

So what I would like to do here is follow through with Cram's (I think it was Cram's) idea of streetcorner Discordian evangelism... put together some little pamphlets, ones that can be printed on a single sheet of paper, then cut up, folded, and stapled... and start handing them out. I'll post them on SCRIBD as I get them done. Contributions to this project, whether in the form of ideas or pamphlets, are welcome.

18324

Apple Talk / Re: I'M DRUNK ASK ME ANYTHING~!

« on: April 28, 2010, 04:45:23 am »

if you HAD to pick a science to banned, which one?

try not to pick an easy one that most people go WTF THATS A SCHOOL OF THOUGHT?

Christian Science

I would have said "Creation Science" myself...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_science

I know the difference (I live in Boston), just noting my opinion that Creation Science is spurious with the clever use of quotation marks.

You've got to give Creation Scientists a break. They have a hell of a job.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a test tube full of faith?

Touche sir, touche.

18325

Apple Talk / Re: I'M DRUNK ASK ME ANYTHING~!

« on: April 28, 2010, 02:42:06 am »

if you HAD to pick a science to banned, which one?

try not to pick an easy one that most people go WTF THATS A SCHOOL OF THOUGHT?

Christian Science

I would have said "Creation Science" myself...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_science

I know the difference (I live in Boston), just noting my opinion that Creation Science is spurious with the clever use of quotation marks.

18326

Apple Talk / Re: I'M DRUNK ASK ME ANYTHING~!

« on: April 28, 2010, 02:31:04 am »

if you HAD to pick a science to banned, which one?

try not to pick an easy one that most people go WTF THATS A SCHOOL OF THOUGHT?

Christian Science

I would have said "Creation Science" myself...

18327

Apple Talk / Re: I'M DRUNK ASK ME ANYTHING~!

« on: April 28, 2010, 02:18:21 am »

Do you have anything in your belly button, and if so, what is it/consistency/color, etc...?