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Strangers who text me

Started by Jasper, March 16, 2011, 09:54:54 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

#15
March 16, 2011, 10:08:08 PM
Answer the next 3 texts with "I yearn for you tragically".
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Jasper

#16
March 16, 2011, 10:09:59 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 16, 2011, 10:07:43 PM
Quote from: Lies on March 16, 2011, 10:04:12 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 16, 2011, 10:03:34 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 16, 2011, 09:59:46 PM
Different guy:  Hey bro.  Have you talked to Michelle lately

Me:  Yes.  Many discursive dialogues on dromaeosaurid dinosaurs like deinonychus and veliciraptor mongoliensis.  Size of a dog.  Very ferocious.  All very extinct. Sad..

Seconds later:  Well u heard the news?  The love of your life single again :-)

(I'm thinking, what?  That didn't seem weird at all?)

Me: Oh.  Explain?

<waiting on reply>

Him:  "They split and I thought u should know.  They both decided it wasn't gonna work and its done.  Ya better get ahold of her"

WHAT TO DO?
Better get ahold of her. Ask for her number.

"I seem to have deleted her number in a fit of impotent rage and self-pity.  Do you have it?"

And he replies, "Ah Spinks I love you and we need to hang out again real soon!"

Oh, I think his last name was Sphinx.  That's what my caller ID is, apparently.

Jasper

#17
March 16, 2011, 10:11:07 PM
Ah, perfect.  "I yearn for you tragically" is a great fit for that.  Sent! 

:D

Jasper

#18
March 16, 2011, 10:13:22 PM
Jeezis, this guy responds fast.  sent me a number and said "And leave my name anonymous for now please :)"


So the question is, what do I send to the new number?

Lies

#19
March 16, 2011, 10:14:30 PM
PAY DIRT! Now something worthy of it...
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

Nephew Twiddleton

#20
March 16, 2011, 10:15:52 PM
"I hear you're single again. You must have heard about the syphilis scare."
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Eater of Clowns

#21
March 16, 2011, 10:16:26 PM
There is a chance that the new number has the actual saved contact of the person you're claiming to be, of course.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Lies

#22
March 16, 2011, 10:17:04 PM
I yearn for you tragically has to be sent to her at some point, if not straight away
- So the New World Order does not actually exist?
- Oh it exists, and how!
Ask the slaves whose labour built the White House;
Ask the slaves of today tied down to sweatshops and brothels to escape hunger;
Ask most women, second class citizens, in a pervasive rape culture;
Ask the non-human creatures who inhabit the planet:
whales, bears, frogs, tuna, bees, slaughtered farm animals;
Ask the natives of the Americas and Australia on whose land
you live today, on whose graves your factories, farms and neighbourhoods stand;
ask any of them this, ask them if the New World Order is true;
they'll tell you plainly: the New World Order... is you!

Jasper

#23
March 16, 2011, 10:17:22 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on March 16, 2011, 10:15:52 PM
"I hear you're single again. You must have heard about the syphilis scare."

Heheheh.  Maybe...  The goal is to make their lives STRANGE.  

Jasper

#24
March 16, 2011, 10:18:02 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on March 16, 2011, 10:16:26 PM
There is a chance that the new number has the actual saved contact of the person you're claiming to be, of course.

I'd count on it.  She is "the love of matt's life", apparently.

Jasper

#25
March 16, 2011, 10:18:34 PM
Quote from: Lies on March 16, 2011, 10:17:04 PM
I yearn for you tragically has to be sent to her at some point, if not straight away

Doubtless.  Something about shrieking myself to sleep when I think about her...

Nephew Twiddleton

#26
March 16, 2011, 10:23:37 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 16, 2011, 10:18:34 PM
Quote from: Lies on March 16, 2011, 10:17:04 PM
I yearn for you tragically has to be sent to her at some point, if not straight away

Doubtless.  Something about shrieking myself to sleep when I think about her...

You could prompt something by asking her how everything's going and then going from there.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Jasper

#27
March 16, 2011, 10:27:21 PM
Sent "Holy cow how are you?  Word has it you split up."

East Coast Hustle

#28
March 16, 2011, 10:34:36 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on March 16, 2011, 10:07:07 PM
Quote from: Lies on March 16, 2011, 10:04:12 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 16, 2011, 10:03:34 PM
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 16, 2011, 09:59:46 PM
Different guy:  Hey bro.  Have you talked to Michelle lately

Me:  Yes.  Many discursive dialogues on dromaeosaurid dinosaurs like deinonychus and veliciraptor mongoliensis.  Size of a dog.  Very ferocious.  All very extinct. Sad..

Seconds later:  Well u heard the news?  The love of your life single again :-)

(I'm thinking, what?  That didn't seem weird at all?)

Me: Oh.  Explain?

<waiting on reply>

Him:  "They split and I thought u should know.  They both decided it wasn't gonna work and its done.  Ya better get ahold of her"

WHAT TO DO?
Better get ahold of her. Ask for her number.

Yes! This allows for expanding the hilarity. I recommend something like: Hey there, sorry to hear you split up with the boyfriend. But I would like to take this opportunity to just say I'd like to see you poon, I'd like to touch it soon, I would like to stir it up and eat it with a spoon.

:spittake:
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

Jasper

#29
March 16, 2011, 10:36:18 PM
How did I miss that?!?  :crankey:
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