SPIDER IV - A NEW HOPE.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Tigger, you know 'Ippie' ruffles my horsefeathers....   

I didn't know any such thing.  You have too many vowels.

A vowel miser, eh?
you have some polish to go with your welsh, or something? or did some smarmy dago steal all of yours?

or maybe you are just intimidated by the power this affords me over the opposite sex.

WELSH?  WELSH?  THE ONLY WELSH IN ME IS THAT FUCKER I ATE LAST FUCKING WEEK.

[President Television]

I'm changing my vote to Phox. She's just asking for it with that avatar.

BDS - Votes Abstain
Blight - Votes Abstain
EoC - Votes Iptuous
Freeky - Votes Abstain
Iptuous - Votes Abstain
Jenne - Votes Abstain
Khara - TBD
Luna - Votes Abstain
Phox - Votes Iptuous
Requia - Votes Roger
Roger - Votes Requia
Semaj - Votes Abstain
Unqualified - Votes Phox
Villager - TBD

[Requia ☣]

Changing my vote to Requia.

Abstaining - 9
Ippie - 1
Roger - 1
REQUIA - 1

This is also necessary tradition   

[A Villager]

I abstain at this time.

[Elder Iptuous]

only one person left to vote...

BDS - Votes Abstain
Blight - Votes Abstain
EoC - Votes Iptuous
Freeky - Votes Abstain
Iptuous - Votes Abstain
Jenne - Votes Abstain
Khara - TBD
Luna - Votes Abstain
Phox - Votes Iptuous
Requia - Votes Roger
Roger - Votes Requia
Semaj - Votes Abstain
Unqualified - Votes Phox
Villager - Votes Abstain

[Elder Iptuous]

Tigger, you know 'Ippie' ruffles my horsefeathers....   

I didn't know any such thing.  You have too many vowels.

A vowel miser, eh?
you have some polish to go with your welsh, or something? or did some smarmy dago steal all of yours?

or maybe you are just intimidated by the power this affords me over the opposite sex.

WELSH?  WELSH?  THE ONLY WELSH IN ME IS THAT FUCKER I ATE LAST FUCKING WEEK.

so, you eat people, you say?
hmmm....

[Phox]

She has, in fact, posted ITT, however. So, vote or no, the game is afoot!

[LMNO]

GOOD MORNING.

Voting is now open.

The current tally:

BDS-   Abstain
Blight-   Abstain
Freeky-   Abstain
Iptuous-   Abstain
Jenne-   Abstain
Luna-   Abstain
Semaj-   Abstain
Villager-   Abstain
EoC-   Iptuous
Phox-   Iptuous
Unqualified- Phox
Roger-   Requia
Requia-   Roger
Khara  -  HAS NOT VOTED YET.

Voting will remaing open until Khara votes.

Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, [(14/2)+1] = 8 votes needed this round.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Well geez y'all I don't get in until 8:00!!  I have to at least fake I'm doing some actual work!!!

I abstain!

Should have posted yesterday, sorry.

[bds]

That Abstain guy is totally fucked.

[Luna]

That Abstain guy is totally fucked.

And how.

[Jenne]

DOWN WITH ABSTAIN!  We'll git chew my pretty!

[LMNO]

ROUND ONE IS OVER.

Bob shuffled off the train, eyes bleary from the lack of sleep.  He'd been working on a spreadsheet until about 1:00 AM, and his dreams were a kaleidoscope of cells, formulas, and numbers.  And eyes.  Sharp, beady eyes seemed to be peering from the dark corners where the figures from the spreadsheet never went.  In his dream, Bob kept trying to push the speadsheets aside to find out what was watching him, but his wrist kept getting caught up in the cord from his computer's mouse.  He had woken up to the piercing alarm with a thin film of cold sweat across his skin, and that clammy feeling stayed with him, even after his morning shower.

Bob pushed open the heavy front doors to his building, climbed the three flights to get to his desk.  He dropped his jacket and bag, and automatically did a 180 towards the break room.  He could smell the acrid odor of burnt coffee halfway down the hall, and it made his heart jump and his step quicken.  Bob all but leapt through the threshold of the break room to get at the coffee maker.  It sat there, smugly, with a carafe of black liquid steaming gently in its cradled arms.  Bob grabbed his mug off the adjacent shelf and quickly poured himself a cup of the tar-black fluid.  It burned his lips, his tongue, his throat; but it offered the energy he needed to get through the day.  

"Ah, Mr. Iptuous.  You're going to have to stay late, you know."  

The voice behind him made Bob jump.  "GAH!  What the—" he spun around, splashing some coffee on the floor.  Standing in the doorway was Kevin, his boss, arms folded.  "Sir, sorry, I... didn't see you there."

"Of course.  Anyway, the Peterson report needs to be finished and on my desk by 7:00 AM tomorrow."

"But I thought we had another week!"

"You thought wrong."  Kevin took a step towards Bob, and his stride was erratic.  Bob watched Kevin lurch slightly to the left, then steady himself, as if he was balancing on a ledge, or standing on one leg.  Bob stepped forward himself, arm outstretched.  "Are you all right?"

"I'm—fine."  Kevin grabbed Bob's hand and held on tight.  "You're going to stay here, and finish the report.  And when you're finished with that, there are plenty more reports to complete."

"But, I was going to go on vacation after this project was over."

Kevin laughed.  "You think that everything stops because you want it to?  No, Mr. Iptuous.  You will stay.  You will stay tonight, and you will stay tomorrow, and you will never want to leave."  Kevin grunted, and lowered the rest of his legs.  "Not while I've got you."  

Bob woke up at his desk, next to a stack of unfinished reports and a fresh mug of coffee.  He sat up with a groan as his eyes drifted to the computer screen, with the ubiquitous spreadsheet.  His hands moved to the keyboard on their own, and he began typing.  He never noticed the black, beady eyes peering at him from under his desk; nor did he feel the thick, sticky strands that had been tied around his waist, securing him firmly to the chair.  He needed to finish these reports.  The Company was counting on him.

IPTUOUS WAS SUBSUMED BY THE SPIDER.  HE IS OUT OF THE GAME.  HE WAS NOT ONE OF THE DISCORDIANS.

I can't prevent you from posting after you're out, but PLEASE do not offer any advice or assistance; you lost, you're out.  If you MUST post, make it funny (for an example, see Semanj's "Zombie" posts during the first Werewolf Game, or Fred's postcards from the Spiders II game).

______________________________________________________


There was a place where a large swath of construction workers went when the day was done, called The Re-Bar.  It was a typical drinking joint for The City; not a dive, but certainly not one of the more posh joints you'd find crosstown.  Paul had just stopped in out of curiosity (and thirst), but he was intrigued at the people here.  He had passed up a high-top table and gone straight to the bar, where a half-dozen TV's were blaring a combination of sports, news, and more sports.  He was halfway through his Miller High Life when he caught a snippet of the conversation next to him.

"They're botha buncha crooks, man!"
"That's our president you're talking 'bout, Ned.  Better watch yourself."
"Fuck that!  The first one sucked, so we kicked him out.  Now the second one just flat-out lied to us.  I don't know which is worse, a fuckup or a rat.  All I know is neither one better show up at my doorstep, or I'll show them what I think!"
"You suck when you're drunk, Ned.  I'll see you later."

Paul waited thirty seconds, then turned to Ned and said, "You know, I think you're right.  It's the inevitable plutocracy that comes with a natural sense of entitlement due to the privilege that entrenched capitalism (when separated from a sense of justice) engenders in a minority of genetic lottery anomalies, which only leads to more financial malfeasance as corporate interests trump what should be the primacy of human rights."

Ned stood there, peering at Paul, and then said, "I ain't got time for this shit.  I'm working the morning shift.  But you sure do like to flap your gums."  He turned, and Paul sadly watched him walk out the door.  I've got to work on my delivery, he thought to himself.

DISCORDIAN CONVERSION: UNSUCCESSFUL.

ROUND TWO BEGINS NOW.

Votes needed: [(13/2)+1] = 7 votes needed to put someone on a Bus.

[Jenne]

Holy shit.  Ip's gone.

And holy shit.  This writing's awesome.  Fuck me running.  Alphapance, you outdo yourself, man.

Uh...this is where I vote, yeah?  Um...*squints*  I vote...Abstain again.  I just don't know if I have a handle on this--I mean, do people get all pissy and shit if you vote for them?  I'm thinking yes. 

[President Television]

I vote to put Phox on the bus again. She voted against Iptuous, and when that failed, she took matters into her own hands. I think this was because, although he didn't target her or her allies, he did display a clarity of thought beyond what anyone else had. He was the one who took the initiative to keep track of who was voting against who. This makes it easier for us to clearly see what's going on, and thus make a successful deduction of the Spiders' identities.
Who said the Spider never uses confusion to its own ends?

EDIT: Oh, and I have to compliment you on your writing, LMNO. Great stuff. Do you mind if I incorporate elements of your vision of the Spiders universe into a tabletop RPG setting that I'm working on? I think it would work really well with the Cyberpunk/Cosmic Horror thing that I have going on at this stage of development.