America - The User's Guide

[Mangrove]

These are awesome--please tell Teh Scrid he's totally on target.

Dear Jenne,

Thank you for your support. Please know that 'America - The User's Guide' is still accepting contributions from anyone on PD.com. If you have something to share, (particularly a badly drawn satirical cartoon in MS Paint) I would be most grateful.

May you forever bask in the tentacled glory that is,

Teh Scrid.

PS If you see Richter, tell him to
a) Get back to work
b) Clean up that mess he left. Oh yeah, he knows what I'm talking about
c) We need milk

[Jenne]

I wish I had the skillz, man.  But I'll pass on the word, nonetheless.

*paging Richter, clean up on aisle 5!*

[Mangrove]

I wish I had the skillz, man.  But I'll pass on the word, nonetheless.

*paging Richter, clean up on aisle 5!*

I'm saddened that you think that any skill was involved 

[Jenne]

I wish I had the skillz, man.  But I'll pass on the word, nonetheless.

*paging Richter, clean up on aisle 5!*

I'm saddened that you think that any skill was involved 

The wit, the repartee...you know, the SCHTICK, MAN, THE SCHTICK.    (point taken on the MS Paintage, though)

[Mangrove]

I wish I had the skillz, man.  But I'll pass on the word, nonetheless.

*paging Richter, clean up on aisle 5!*

I'm saddened that you think that any skill was involved 

The wit, the repartee...you know, the SCHTICK, MAN, THE SCHTICK.    (point taken on the MS Paintage, though)

I think it's a matter of:

a) Find something (event/idea/remark etc) that catches your attention
b) Strip it down to the bare minimum
c) Apply irony (comic exaggeration especially helpful)

For instance, here's something that catches my attention:

In many adverts on TV, women are very frequently portrayed in a manner that suggests that they are married, employed, have children and are able to juggle all of these things simultaneously while also attending a Pilates class. Meanwhile, the husband is usually a blithering, subservient 'man-child' who couldn't possibly do anything for himself other than cause trouble.

For an added bonus, the woman concerned won't just have 'children' but will have a snotty teen (dismissive, eye rolling brat who might be a goth or in some way oddly dressed) and 'the twins' which is always shorthand for 'out of fucking control'.

However, at the same time, the advertising world wants us to believe that women are basically 'Cathy' from that execrable and hateful waste of time comic strip of the same name. These women, when they're not being preternatural 'multi-taskers' are brainless drones lacking in self control when it comes to chocolate or anything containing sugar. That's why there's low calorie products because as we all know, women have no self control and if it weren't for heavily processes 'health food', they'd all be the size of whales and wracked with paroxysms of self loathing. But wait!! All the women in those commercials are thin.

Having observed the lunacy of the advertising world and it's insane stereotypes, it would be a matter of shaping all of the above down into a symbolic image with as little detail and text as you can get away with without making it too obscure.

Now!! Go forth!! Use MS Paint and describe to others how to understand American culture! 

[Jenne]

Ooh...but the pithy, simple imagery and wording are what I have the worst time coming up with.    But I should just play around with it some and figure it out.  Maybe come up with a couple and then it wouldn't be so obvious I was sucky at it. 

[AFK]

Mang, you should take in a few hours of Nickelodeon and Disney Channel programming.  Not the cartoons, but the live-action stuff.  Overall it seems clear those shows are all going after a tween-age girl population.  I may be overly cynical and reading something that isn't there, but it seems like the overall takeaway message is.....you wanna be someone cool you need to be famous, well known, rich, or a combination of the three. 

Consider:
iCarly - Central character is in a famous/popular web show
True Jordan, V.P. - Famous teenage fashion designer
Hannah Montanna - Famous singer
Victorious - Famous singer at posh, exclusive Hollywood Arts school
Big Time Rush - Famous boy band
Shake it Up - Famous dancers on a TV show
Suite Life - A bunch of rich kids going to school on a cruise ship. 

Needless to say, with a young daughter I've taken in more than my fair share of these shows.  I don't know how she can possibly relate to any of it.  Living in a pineapple under the sea is more realistic. 

[Mangrove]

Mang, you should take in a few hours of Nickelodeon and Disney Channel programming.  Not the cartoons, but the live-action stuff.  Overall it seems clear those shows are all going after a tween-age girl population.  I may be overly cynical and reading something that isn't there, but it seems like the overall takeaway message is.....you wanna be someone cool you need to be famous, well known, rich, or a combination of the three. 

Consider:
iCarly - Central character is in a famous/popular web show
True Jordan, V.P. - Famous teenage fashion designer
Hannah Montanna - Famous singer
Victorious - Famous singer at posh, exclusive Hollywood Arts school
Big Time Rush - Famous boy band
Shake it Up - Famous dancers on a TV show
Suite Life - A bunch of rich kids going to school on a cruise ship. 

Needless to say, with a young daughter I've taken in more than my fair share of these shows.  I don't know how she can possibly relate to any of it.  Living in a pineapple under the sea is more realistic. 

I am vaguely familiar with some of the above mentioned shows. A good friend of mine has two little girls and so when I visit him, this kind of thing is usually on tv.

It comes down to one of those 'what I said and what you heard may not be the same thing' moments. Whether the Disney channel intend this message or not, I think it's probably what the target audience perceives (ie: if you're not famous, then you don't matter).

These Disney shows are probably just info-mercials for the spin-off products. Once upon a time it seemed that a tv show or movie would have 'tie in' merchandise but I suspect the relationship has now been reversed and the shows are tied ins to the products.

Pineapple under the sea doesn't sound bad at all.....

[AFK]

Yep, and to paraphrase a Cracked article: That's why Pixar is making a Cars sequel and not an Up sequel. 

[Luna]

Yep, and to paraphrase a Cracked article: That's why Pixar is making a Cars sequel and not an Up sequel. 

Up doesn't need a sequel, they'd just screw it up.

Which means they'll probably do one.

[Jenne]

Yeah, I'd rather not see an "Up" sequel. 

STILL THINKING OF A TH/MEME...OH JESUS I THINK I JUST THOUGHT OF ONE...

[Jenne]

It sorta sucks...

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

It sorta sucks...

No it doesn't!!!

      

[Jenne]

My next one will be better.  I cringe at that one.    But thanks, Khara.  MSPaint and I have reconciled for the day. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It sorta sucks...

It's great!