You've gone too far, eh?

[Hoser McRhizzy]

Dear America:

I think you'll agree that Canada has been ridiculously tolerant of your exploits these past few years.  We were irate, but patient, when you aired the initial episode of The Biggest Loser, and even when you let mormons write twinkle-porn about abstinent vampires.  We've clucked indulgently for a very long time, but you have finally GONE TOO FAR!



Look at that fruit!  LOOK AT IT!  Do bananas need plastic wrapping? 

If you're actually taking the time to weigh the pros and cons, let this be your slap up back the head.  The answer is NO.  No they fucking well don't, and you know it, because they're ALREADY INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED in that yellow thing called a PEEL! 

goddamnit.

We will only warn you once.  Either ban abstinence-only "sex education" in your schools, or ban pre-wrapped bananas!  You CANNOT HAVE BOTH!  The wages of your failure to bring either the board of education or Del Monte to heel will be the complete Canadianization of everything you hold dear.* 

You have 2 days to comply.

Sincerely,
Hoser McRhizzy, Greater Barmping Despot
for the Glenuri Liberation Front, Hogtown div.

* Mexico is hereby cordially invited to join us, and Mexicanize the fuck out of the USofA until we meet in the middle, cross-pollinate, and all of North America is finally that great promised land we have dreamed of for so long - Mexicada!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

What the fuck? 

Hold on, I gotta saran-wrap all my eggs.

[Don Coyote]

What the fuck? 

Hold on, I gotta saran-wrap all my eggs.

There are prepackaged in plastic eggs in at the Shoppette on post.


Just saying.

[Hoser McRhizzy]

in at the Shoppette on post.

in at the on what there?

But you cannot distract me with your unfinished sentences, murka.  I see your game.

    2 days.  DNT.
           \

What the fuck? 

Hold on, I gotta saran-wrap all my eggs.

  inorite?!

[PopeTom]

Or possibly not far enough!

http://blogs.forbes.com/csr/2011/03/15/del-monte-responds-to-daily-show-criticism-of-individually-wrapped-banana/

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Bananas have to be wrapped, or some dickhead will weaponize them.

[PopeTom]

Bananas have to be wrapped, or some dickhead will weaponize them.

Too late:

[Jenne]

Huh.  So, it's so that they can come out of a vending machine?  Instead of a Snickers bar?

...interesting.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Huh.  So, it's so that they can come out of a vending machine?  Instead of a Snickers bar?

...interesting.

It's so they can sell you colored plastic with your banana.   

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Only America would waste irreplaceable hydrocarbons to put a wrapper on a fruit that has a built in wrapper.

RETARDED.   

[Jenne]

Yeah, I wasn't saying I thought it was necessary--I've seen apples and oranges displayed in vending machines, and they didn't have wrappers.  This was the company's excuse--to make individual servings of the highly spoilable fruit accessible "in ways that they haven't been before" ...or something to that effect.

Because I REALLY couldn't fucking figure it out, before.  Defied logic.  Now, there's SOME logic to that, but well, not REALLY.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Yeah, I wasn't saying I thought it was necessary--I've seen apples and oranges displayed in vending machines, and they didn't have wrappers.  This was the company's excuse--to make individual servings of the highly spoilable fruit accessible "in ways that they haven't been before" ...or something to that effect.

Because I REALLY couldn't fucking figure it out, before.  Defied logic.  Now, there's SOME logic to that, but well, not REALLY.

Oh, I get where you're coming from.

But America is still retodded.

[Freeky]

Yeah, I wasn't saying I thought it was necessary--I've seen apples and oranges displayed in vending machines, and they didn't have wrappers.  This was the company's excuse--to make individual servings of the highly spoilable fruit accessible "in ways that they haven't been before" ...or something to that effect.

Because I REALLY couldn't fucking figure it out, before.  Defied logic.  Now, there's SOME logic to that, but well, not REALLY.

Oh, I get where you're coming from.

But America is still retodded.

Retaaahded.  Fo' sho.

[Wyldkat]

So...  we are now able to get a prepackaged, mass produced pb and j, pre packaged banana and box of milk or other beverage related product straight from a vending machine?  {ponders the laziness and ridiculousness of humanity}

[Jenne]

Boxes of milk don't bother me, but the mass produced prepackaged sandwiches do.  The whole idea of a sandwich is a quick snack or meal that is freshly made and can be transported or eaten quickly elsewhere.  So mass producing something like a sandwich just seems wrong somehow--like spaghetti flavored ice cream or something.

Prepackaging fruit that has a package is also similar in feeling to me, though I realize that the particular properties of the banana might have caused this swing in logic--refrigeration makes bananas go bad.  So sealing them off in plastic makes them stay fresher in a refrigerator longer.

*shakes head*