I'm a Sucker.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

For those commercials selling stuff "AS SEEN ON TV!"

I fantasize about how all these gadgets will improve my life and make it more meaningful. Especially the products with "Official" in the title. Those ones are extra special.

My current favorite is this: Aluma Wallet!

Why? Because not only does it store all my credit cards, cash, and other crap. Not only is it nearly indestructible. Not only does it protect my credit cards with RFID chips from being scanned by unsavory characters . . .

But it's a handy weapon against those pesky Nessies.

I saw the e-mail for this and immediately thought of Charley Brown's Nessie plot-twist.

Is that wrong?

[Suu]

Christ. I need one of those.

[Don Coyote]

Get a cigarette case?

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Christ. I need one of those.

Jo-Ann Fabrics and Crafts typically have a "As Seen On TV" section. I'm tempted to meander towards mine and see if they've gotten these in yet. 40% off coupon.

[Suu]

Get a cigarette case?

IT'S NOT THE SAME.

[Doktor Howl]

Women are so silly.   

[Suu]

I don't know what you're talking about. 

-Suu
Owns 7 pairs of black boots.
3 Designer Handbags.
Has about $500 in makeup in her drawer.
NEEDS STUPID UGLY WALLET! WITH JOANN'S COUPONS!!

[Jenne]

I get annoyed by the "as seen on tv" shit because once you buy it/see it, you realize it's cheapass Chinese junk.

SO not worth your $19.99.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Women are so silly.   

BUT IT WARDS OFF NESSIES.

[Cain]

Official Better Life Gadget with Optional Extra Tools!

$1199.99 + P&P

BUY NOW LIMITED STOCK ONLY

[Suu]

Women are so silly.   

BUT IT WARDS OFF NESSIES.

NEED.

[Cainad (dec.)]

I think my favorite part about stupid nick-nacks like that is the opening part of the commercial where it shows, in black and white, people who are obviously either morons or suffering from motor skill dysfunction fumbling with some incredibly basic task.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I think my favorite part about stupid nick-nacks like that is the opening part of the commercial where it shows, in black and white, people who are obviously either morons or suffering from motor skill dysfunction fumbling with some incredibly basic task.

This one right here.

"Tired of performing rudimentary tasks? Is applying a couple of pounds of pressure with your hands way too difficult and unwieldy? Well we have the gadget for you!"

[Jenne]

...I attribute that to the fact the boomers are aging and so need more things to help them ease into old age.  Arthritis makes opening pop top cans and jars hard--so they need a plastic widget that can do BOAF for $9.99.  Plus something that cuts avocadoes into neat slices and pits them for you at the same time.  Act now, and they can get the thingie that cuts pies into wedges that's only slightly larger than the avocado one.  Call in the next 20 minutes, and they'll ship TWO of EVERYTHING.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

That doesn't explain the Snuggy and how somehow getting your hands from beneath a blanket to reach the remote is somehow an arduous task.