HEY, SUU!

[LMNO]

I've been invited this Friday to Mr Goodbar's SUPERPARADISE at Club Oberon.  Yes, it's as gay as it sounds.  The trouble is, well... Here's the description of preferred clothing:

"Dress Code: TOGA TOGA TOGA!|Fur Underwear|Leather Harnesses and broadswords|gladiators and temple slaves|breastplates and metal cuffs|Gorgon Realness|vestal virgins in grecian gowns|ceremonial headdresses|LOTS OF EYE MAKEUP|Viking horns|barbarians in animal pelts|well oiled muscle|animal masks|Red Sonja Effects!"

It might surprise you that I don't have any of this.  Or not.  It's been a while.  Anyway, I was hoping you'd have an idea for something that matches my personality: Cheap, Easy, and Fabulous.

Any thoughts?




PS - Gorgon Realness.  LOL.

[Suu]

Do you have access to a sewing machine? You can do it without, but I need to know so I can give you appropriate patterns.

[LMNO]

No sewing machine.  And very scant ability in the textile arts.

[Suu]

This can be done.

You will need:

3 yards of FABULOUS.
2 pins
belt

This is some rudimentary Greek shit. What I want you to do us fold your fabulous in half the best way so it covers your butt sufficiently. You can adjust with the belt.

Unfold your fabric, and put your left side inside of that fold, so you have the length of the fabric running from right under your armpit to the length. Hold the open edges (us goddamn industry professionals call that shit the selvages) of the fabric out with your right hand. You may need Mrs. LMNO to help, because you need to keep slack and pin here.

Once your fabric is in place, pin the front and back of the fabric over your left shoulder, giving enough slack for a comfortable armhole, otherwise it'll bite you, plus you want it to be a little saggy for the drapey look. Measure a comfortable neck opening and pin in the same manner on the right shoulder, and let the fabric fall from your hand. You should have a good amount of excess. Wrap the front selvage over the back, and belt tightly.

Underwear optional.

More pins can be used for different sleeve effects.

[LMNO]

Hm.  This sounds do-able, even if geometry is involved.  Now, to see if I have 3 yeards of FABULOUS. 

I will keep you updated.

[Luna]

Hm.  This sounds do-able, even if geometry is involved.  Now, to see if I have 3 yeards of FABULOUS. 

I will keep you updated.

If you do not have and can not obtain yards of FABULOUS, do you deserve this party?

[Suu]

I would say cut the fabric in half, but since you don't have a machine, no need to make it fray.

[Richter]

I got invited to that too. 

Damnit, no way to get you stuff in time... I have most of that list lying around my room for fucksake.

[Suu]

I got invited to that too. 

Damnit, no way to get you stuff in time... I have most of that list lying around my room for fucksake.

Fuck no.

He needs to be FABULOUS, not historically accurate.

-Suu
Is going to anachronist hell for that.

[Richter]

...

HERETIC.

[Suu]

To be fair, the pattern is perfectly period for Ancient Greece. They hated sewing. Romans, on the other hand...hide yo needles, hide yo thread...

[LMNO]

TRAGEDY.


All of my FABULOUS has already been cut, stitched, and fitted into something called "nice clothes tailored to my figure", and is not available for toga-ing. I may be forced to dust off my leather pants and Bear it out.

[Suu]

TRAGEDY.


All of my FABULOUS has already been cut, stitched, and fitted into something called "nice clothes tailored to my figure", and is not available for toga-ing. I may be forced to dust off my leather pants and Bear it out.

Go to Joann's and buy something horrible.

Like this:

[Triple Zero]

Or even IKEA. Because you basically just need a curtain, right?

Better even IKEA, because you don't just need anything horrible, you need something that's white with silver glitter on it or something similarly fabulous. I believe IKEA curtains can provide that.

[Luna]

You can't tell me you don't have a FABULOUS bedsheet.  I will lose faith in you forever.