Insight Into Anarchy's Subtle Nuances. London. 2011.

[Doktor Howl]

Oh and the reason why I seemed to hate Dok as much as that Utopia dude did is simple...Dok is really good at inspiring hatred. Seems to be one of his few natural talents.

The other one is sucking cigarette smoke into my mouth, and having it leak out of my tear ducts.

[Doktor Howl]

Well I have had people butt hurt by that Vindaloo in the past, but never quite in this fashion.

I would like to clarify a few things on the subject of India, Cows, Chilis and Faith. Oh and some basic geography and world history lessons need to be taken first.. Just Junior High Stuff...nothing too challenging.


Now I foolishly thought that the title of a thread being VINDALOO CONTEST denoted some kind of invitation for people to enter different versions of a similar recipe and see whose was hottest. I was so wrong. Freaky obviously meant it was a competition to see who could lick her arse hardest about what a master chef she is.

Equally vain was my expectation that at least a few of you had heard of Goa or knew something of basic European Colonial History. No one does apparently. Not even Cain or One Eye...and at first glance they seemed half bright.. How sad for you all that your Laureates turn out to be wanting.

Now One Eye, so erudite and well informed yet he apparently doesn't know that Goa, on the Northernmost coastal tip of India, was colonised by the Portuguese in the 15th Century. Its population are as a result, primarily Muslim and Christian. Both of which faith groups eat beef. I think you'll all agree, that point about religious demographics is germane to refuting many of the criticisms I received on the beef issue.

Very few Hindus live in the region....they are by way of being quite the tiny minority. Many of them have relocated from the South....  public servants and Military administrators etc...There are quite a few of them there, but they tend to leave again after retirement and go home. So with a two generation Hindu presence (Just those Admin workers and their wives and children) the Hindu population and cultural influence in Goa is small and pocketed.

Being in Northern India the region can be somewhat volatile, though it is cushioned from a lot of strife by a strong regional culture of tolerance, good agriculture and tourism, which has made it quite prosperous. Its cities are very clean and far less crowded than one finds in the South. They are famous for their cooking. Goan food is renowned as sublime and they give cookery lessons in many of the better hotels, just so tourists can experience real Goan cuisine and gain knowledge about Goan culture and history by doing so.

It obviously was $150 well spent for me, as I seem to know ever so much more about the region than any of you.

So no, One Eye...they don't "worship cows or some shit". They do however, eat quite a bit of beef there. From my experiences in the region, I found that they do indeed regard the partaking of dead cow and chili to be quite a traditional element to their lives.

The chili you see, was brought to India when the Portuguese dropped off the first lot of colonists...so again, approx 500 years or more. Now I hope you all do see that 500 years of eating a thing makes it quite the tradition...well in most cultures anyway.

Now should you go, any of you, to Goa (as if) and attempt to tell those people that they worship cows and chili is not a traditional food, I suspect they would have words to say back on the issue.

In fact, please try it. I dare ya. I double dare ya!
Esp. Dok. I'd like to see him say that to a Goan chef. But I hope he can fucken run.

And Cain. This is just for you dear: The powder you buy "all over India" is hotter than fuck and is NOT cayenne based. Cayenne is one of the many varieties of chili that did NOT make it to India with the Portuguese.

The most popular form of chilli in India is the Jwala. A long, slender chili which when unripe has a deep green colour and turns to red as it ripens. Jwala means "Volcano" in Hindi and is extremely pungent.

But the chili which is most often dried and powdered in India, sometimes smoked and dried, and which may look like Cayenne powder but is many times hotter than it, comes from the birdseye, or Dhani chili. As I said. It is not cayenne powder you "find all over India" for the simple reason that cayenne is a pussy's chili...far too mild for the Indian palate. Dhani are also called "Devils Chilis" after their fiery pungency.

Both of these varieties of chili are far hotter than the Cayenne. I know this not due to the miracles of superficial web research, (thank you Nigel for the short lesson at EBG on New World Foods)  but because I learned to cook Indian food from Indian people. From Sikhs and Hindus, Muslims and Christians, Jains and Buddhists. Its a very mufti faith society,  innit?? And multi cuisined as well. (yes I know cuisined is not a word, but it ought to be)

I am sure Cain, you would know that though...being so perceptive and devastatingly bright as you are...and so sensitive to cultural mores and all...had you been to India yourself, rather than relying on gastronomic reports from those of your associates who appear to be more adventurous than you in their choice of holiday destination.

So back we go to my suspicion that this joint might be just the tiniest bit Amerocentrist , innit? For even people with a Eurocentrist view of the world, would have had some high school level knowledge of the culture and religions in former Portuguese colonies such as Goa...being that it's, well you know, a reasonably important period of world history.

And those with an even more inclusive world view might have known, somewhere deep deep down, that not all 1 billion Indians are Hindus.

Now how on earth did I have the temerity to suggest you're all a pack of xenophobic dumb cunts?


Thank you for the patience and courtesy vitriolic abuse, adolescent name calling and paranoid ravings with which I am sure this information will be received.




And no I am sorry, but no matter how hard I try I simply cannot go fuck myself.
I only wish I could. It would have saved me listening to men snore over the years.


(NB: The conspiracy theory shit was comedy gold btw...thanks for that...the Indian-IP-address-inspired-panic section of the skit was especially entertaining.)

Wow.

2.5 tons of pure butthurt (that's 7 kilometers for you metric spags).

Best shipment since Bhode.

[Doktor Howl]

In the strings of PMs I have exchanged with her she has both attacked me for posts that were actually made by other people and complained to me about horrible things Dok has said to her that were actually said by me.

Like I said, I've got five amerocentric dollars on "raging alcoholic".

Well, obviously, I MADE you say that shit.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Hey guys, I learned the entirety of Indian cookery in a druggy tourist trap,

Your argument is invalid.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

In the strings of PMs I have exchanged with her she has both attacked me for posts that were actually made by other people and complained to me about horrible things Dok has said to her that were actually said by me.

Like I said, I've got five amerocentric dollars on "raging alcoholic".

Well, obviously, I MADE you say that shit.

WIT YOUR MIND-LAZORS.  

All the amazingly erroriffic factual errors would make me think she was trolling, if she weren't a friend of Charley and Badbeast. Because, seriously, being a complete uptight self-righteous cunt and condescendingly correcting people while simultaneously presenting completely erroneous information that is easily checked does make for a superb troll.

It's kind of mind-boggling that she's not, and that all this butthurt and misinformation is sincere. .

[Doktor Howl]

In the strings of PMs I have exchanged with her she has both attacked me for posts that were actually made by other people and complained to me about horrible things Dok has said to her that were actually said by me.

Like I said, I've got five amerocentric dollars on "raging alcoholic".

Well, obviously, I MADE you say that shit.

WIT YOUR MIND-LAZORS.  

All the amazingly erroriffic factual errors would make me think she was trolling, if she weren't a friend of Charley and Badbeast. Because, seriously, being a complete uptight self-righteous cunt and condescendingly correcting people while simultaneously presenting completely erroneous information that is easily checked does make for a superb troll.

It's kind of mind-boggling that she's not, and that all this butthurt and misinformation is sincere. .

It is bad to be sincere, if you also happen to be stupid.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Between placing Goa on the "northernmost coastal tip of India" and claiming that "cayenne didn't make it to India with the Portuguese", that "Hindus are a tiny minority" there, and how cayenne is "a pussy pepper", and then going off about how the most popular pepper variety there is Jwala (which is a varietal of cayenne pepper), drunkfuck here has performed some of the most massive self-ownage I've ever seen online.



It's like art, only stupider.

[LMNO]

I'd just like to pause a minute here and recognize

alchocentricism

As extremely mitten-worthy.

[Doktor Howl]

Between placing Goa on the "northernmost coastal tip of India" and claiming that "cayenne didn't make it to India with the Portuguese", that "Hindus are a tiny minority" there, and how cayenne is "a pussy pepper", and then going off about how the most popular pepper variety there is Jwala (which is a varietal of cayenne pepper), drunkfuck here has performed some of the most massive self-ownage I've ever seen online.



It's like art, only stupider.

Who says stupidity can't be a form of art?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Between placing Goa on the "northernmost coastal tip of India" and claiming that "cayenne didn't make it to India with the Portuguese", that "Hindus are a tiny minority" there, and how cayenne is "a pussy pepper", and then going off about how the most popular pepper variety there is Jwala (which is a varietal of cayenne pepper), drunkfuck here has performed some of the most massive self-ownage I've ever seen online.



It's like art, only stupider.

Who says stupidity can't be a form of art?

If it is, Eartha is a MASTER.

[Doktor Howl]

Between placing Goa on the "northernmost coastal tip of India" and claiming that "cayenne didn't make it to India with the Portuguese", that "Hindus are a tiny minority" there, and how cayenne is "a pussy pepper", and then going off about how the most popular pepper variety there is Jwala (which is a varietal of cayenne pepper), drunkfuck here has performed some of the most massive self-ownage I've ever seen online.



It's like art, only stupider.

Who says stupidity can't be a form of art?

If it is, Eartha is a MASTER.

She is the Michaelangelo of Derp.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Between placing Goa on the "northernmost coastal tip of India" and claiming that "cayenne didn't make it to India with the Portuguese", that "Hindus are a tiny minority" there, and how cayenne is "a pussy pepper", and then going off about how the most popular pepper variety there is Jwala (which is a varietal of cayenne pepper), drunkfuck here has performed some of the most massive self-ownage I've ever seen online.



It's like art, only stupider.

Who says stupidity can't be a form of art?

If it is, Eartha is a MASTER.

She is the Michaelangelo of Derp.

[Pæs]

I'd just like to pause a minute here and recognize

alchocentricism

As extremely mitten-worthy.

Between placing Goa on the "northernmost coastal tip of India" and claiming that "cayenne didn't make it to India with the Portuguese", that "Hindus are a tiny minority" there, and how cayenne is "a pussy pepper", and then going off about how the most popular pepper variety there is Jwala (which is a varietal of cayenne pepper), drunkfuck here has performed some of the most massive self-ownage I've ever seen online.



It's like art, only stupider.

Who says stupidity can't be a form of art?

If it is, Eartha is a MASTER.

She is the Michaelangelo of Derp.

[Triple Zero]

Derpatello?

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Derpatardo da Pinche.