Wake the Fuck Up, part I of V

[Doktor Howl]

I could tell you about Tucson, but why bother?  It's not like the rest of the country hasn't caught the disease...And make no mistake, it is a disease.  It spreads insanity to the far corners of the nation and beyond.  There is no cure, and no inoculation save for "Bob", and that's like amputating your head to stop the bleeding from your throat.  Yes, the bleeding stops, but you don't care.

You can see Tucson all around you, if you look hard enough, with the right kind of eyes.

For example, when you see hardened cops throwing up at a crime scene, Tucson is there.  When you see two people texting while driving, with their kids in the back seat, crash into each other head on, Tucson is there.  When you and your significant other break up for no reason, you've just met Tucson.  Is it not written, "Where two people are together in insanity, there ye shall find Eris."?

Most of these things are usually put down to primate stupidity...But how long can you use that excuse?  No, this is the dawning of a new age...The Age of Dumb, as foretold in 2003 by The Good Reverend Roger.  You can't stop it, for the same reason you can't stop the horrible downward spiral in economics and politics that has been going on for three decades.  Crazy Eddie, the First Born of Eris, is in charge now, and the most you can do is enjoy the ride.

Me, I wouldn't have it any other way.  Wiser men than me, of course, have said that the adage "May you live in interesting times" is a curse...But I've never really believed that.  I have always been a fan of letting the lemmings run, even if they are being chased by Marlon Perkins on a bulldozer.

This is the age of Discordia.  Not the "Discordia" of happy children dancing in the wildflowers.  No.  This is Discordia, and if that idea bothers the hippies, that's just too damn bad.  This is the Discordia as described by LMNO's Dictum, "The imposition of order creates a corresponding and greater amount of disorder".

In a healthy society, for example, Gays would be allowed to marry.  It doesn't hurt anyone, and it's really nobody's business.  But there is a large segment of the population that believes that the only civil liberties that should exist are the ones they themselves indulge in...So they attempt to clamp down, and all manner of hilarity is the result.  The Church of Latter Day Saints learned that, much to their chagrin.

In a healthy society, you could dance at the Jefferson Memorial (Fer Chrissakes)   without being savagely beaten by cops for the crime of expressing yourself.  You could smoke a joint, if you were so inclined, without the risk of having your entire life ruined forever.  You could walk through an airport without being groped.

I could live in a nation where the leading opposition candidates don't want to stone my daughter to death, just because she's bisexual.

All these things are supposed to impose a certain twisted order to our lives...And the disorder it has created is, well, me.  Me, and those people like me.  I come not bearing an olive branch, but instead a baseball bat with a nail through it. 

As I've told you before, being a good citizen is only a winning strategy in a good society.  This is NOT a good society, ergo I am not a good citizen.  I bring wrath to the table, and I won't quit until I've put everyone off their lunch, once and for all.

In short, I represent - in my area - Tucson, and all it has to offer the 21st Century.  Everyone else has two options...Get on the train, or stay on the tracks.  This is, as I have said, Discordia, and this is our time.

Who will stand with me?  Who will bray laughter and spittle in the faces of the "Good Americans"?  Who will knock the legs out from underneath the shit-lickers and the pimps and the fixers and the bloated "ministers" of a religion gone horribly, horribly wrong?

I'll do it myself if I have to, but it's always nice to have someone to laugh with, as the bolts start working loose in the hull of the ship of state.

It's the future.  It's the WRONG future.

Let's do this shit.

Okay for now,
Dok

[Cuddlefish]

Let's do this. To. The. Fucking. Wall.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Fuck yeah.

[Salty]

Dok,

Not only am I with you on this, I am shoveling hot coals into the white hot belly of that train so hard I've got bleeding callouses. I thought for awhile that my time was best spent lining people on those tracks, for their own good and my amusement. But not only is there not enough time for that shit, I don't think it's the right thing to do either.

When a body gets unhealthy enough you have to flush that sucker, sometimes with chemicals so noxious and volatile people can hardly handle the medicine compared to the disease. Yet, this is what they asked for, this is what they've all demanded for decade after decade only stopping to shovel MOAR into their mouths.

How is it that they can always demand MOAR but won't let a few have some? Where does that essential, core human selfishness and greed come from? I don't know, and I don't care.

I only care about getting this train up to speed and then some.

[Doktor Howl]

How is it that they can always demand MOAR but won't let a few have some? Where does that essential, core human selfishness and greed come from? I don't know, and I don't care.

I only care about getting this train up to speed and then some.

John Luther Jones understood this sort of thing.

More about that in part 2.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

TO THE WALL!

[President Television]

Does the good book not say "fuck 'em if they can't take a joke"?
TO THE WALL.

[LMNO]

The time has come, TODAY.

[Doktor Howl]

The time has come, TODAY.

Tomorrow is in fact the enemy.

And when the enemy comes, I have a little bit to say about The Train, and a guy who used to drive it.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

On board.

Twid,
has been increasing the amount of IRL Discordian activities of late.

[Eve Hill]

Fuck yeah! I'll stand with you! 

[Doktor Howl]

Fuck yeah! I'll stand with you! 

It's more of a crouch,  really.

It's easier to use hand tools that way.

Dok,
Knows how things work.  And how they don't.

[Eve Hill]

Fuck yeah! I'll stand with you! 

It's more of a crouch,  really.

It's easier to use hand tools that way.

Dok,
Knows how things work.  And how they don't.

[iarmit]

I just need to find my axe

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Bump