EVERYONE should read this.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

EVERYONE EVER BORN WHO HAS ANY KIND OF SOCIAL LIFE.

http://daff0dil.blogspot.com/2011/08/saying-no.html

A small excerpt:

I am beginning to suspect one of the greatest keys to happiness is learning how to say no.

This is not just about setting boundaries, which is, indeed, very important. This is not about making time to say yes to the things you really want or should to say yes to.

It is about the kind of maturity found in rejecting ideas, notions and, yes, sometimes people, with grace and kindness.

Enumerated, in no particular order, are a list of rules I wish more people would consider:

1. You do not an explanation.
Really. You don't. You do NOT need to give a long list of reasons you can't make something, or enumerate all the obligations you have that would come before another's needs. You don't even need a litany of apologies. In fact, the more information you give to people, the more information they have to evaluate you, your priorities and your rejection with, and the more likely they are to find insult and fault. Do I really want to know that you are putting laundry before my birthday? Do I really want to know that weekly date night supersedes your friends wedding? I really just don't. All you are doing with a litany of excuses is revealing a list of priorities that take precedence over that invitation. So,be kind, but be succinct.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Thank you, I needed to read this!!!

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Oh. So that's how you do it.

I tend to stick with "Sorry, I don't like you and don't want to spend time with you." or "I don't drink and don't want to watch you get all drunk and sloppy at a bar, thanks."

Must work on my panache.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Oh. So that's how you do it.

I tend to stick with "Sorry, I don't like you and don't want to spend time with you." or "I don't drink and don't want to watch you get all drunk and sloppy at a bar, thanks."

Must work on my panache.

Did you read the whole article? Because she's not talking about panache, she's talking mostly about saying no to people you DO like and want to spend time with, in ways that make them feel like you do continue to value them. That's like, 90% of the point of the article.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Oh. So that's how you do it.

I tend to stick with "Sorry, I don't like you and don't want to spend time with you." or "I don't drink and don't want to watch you get all drunk and sloppy at a bar, thanks."

Must work on my panache.

Did you read the whole article? Because she's not talking about panache, she's talking mostly about saying no to people you DO like and want to spend time with, in ways that make them feel like you do continue to value them. That's like, 90% of the point of the article.

I read the whole article, yes ma'am. She says even if you do have panache, you can still screw up so you best keep it simple. I haven't even gotten as far as panache yet, let alone keeping it simple. I don't get out much.

It is a good article.

[PopeTom]

I just say yes to everything then when the time comes blow it off to play Civilization V.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I just say yes to everything then when the time comes blow it off to play Civilization V.

I miss playing Civ. 

[Doktor Howl]

I just say yes to everything then when the time comes blow it off to play Civilization V.

I miss playing Civ. 

Civ V is AMAZING.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I just say yes to everything then when the time comes blow it off to play Civilization V.

I miss playing Civ. 

Civ V is AMAZING.

Maybe someday I'll have a Civ V partner to play with.

[Elder Iptuous]

i was just thinking about finding a copy of that last night.
i'll have to scour the BT later...

[Cain]

I heard Civ V, when it originally came out, was half-crippled, but with the patches and expansions it has actually become a rather excellent game.

That said, I haven't actually yet played Civ IV yet....though I can still beat Civ II on Deity Mode, so I think I'll be alright. 

[Triple Zero]

Really nice article, enjoyed reading it. I already knew most of the things in it, but I did have to learn em the hard way, who knows if only I had read this 10 years ago or something

[navkat]

Is she one of us...?

Is that...SUU's Doppelganger?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Is she one of us...?

Is that...SUU's Doppelganger?

Not one of us, but might as well be. She's my FBF.

[Penumbral]

I didn't read the full article, but the excerpt makes me think of a lot of friends I have you have this inverted view of happiness and well being. I know a number of people who decided that for their best interest they had to start saying no to things inorganically. Pull a DeBeers and limit the supply to jack up the value or something.

I have had friends become unlikable because they found some "path to happiness." And I have never seen anyone come out happier because they started artificially making decisions.

There is a lot to be said about actually making your own priorities, but you should build friends around your lifestyle not the otherway around.