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Wake the Fuck Up, part III of V

Started by Doktor Howl, August 18, 2011, 05:53:43 PM

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Doktor Howl

August 18, 2011, 05:53:43 PM
"We got Brother Jimmy on the TV
Killer on the radio
She says if you want to get it
You got to let it go."
-The Tractors

So you may ask yourself, "Well, who's on this train, anyhow?", and I'm here to tell you, Brothers and Sisters, Elvis is on that train.  Hank is on that train.  Roy Orbison, Johnny Cash, Emperor Norton, Smedley Butler, and Lysander Spooner are on that train.  I'm on that train, and I hope YOU are on that train.  Can I get a hallalujah?  Can I get a "Hells YEAH!"?

And who isn't on the train?  Who's standing on the tracks, with their pants around their ankles and a silly grin on their faces?

Why, 7 billion monkeys, that's who.  7 billion people who believed the lies and distortions of The CoN, who worry about the fnords, who settled for 2nd best, who traded their Godhood for cheap plastic crap.  "Just leave us our iPods", they say, "Just leave us our cable TV and we'll pretend not to notice that we're being reamed in the arse by bankers and congressmen and crooked cops and the horrible people down at the department of motor vehicles."  

They are damned, brothers and sisters, they are on the ROAD TO PERDITION!  

CAN I GET A WITNESS?

Ladies and gentlemen, the late J.R. "Bob" Dobbs once said, "I don't practice what I preach, because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to...And I hope you aren't, either."  

Are YOU the kind of person he was preaching to?  Do you cling to your trinkets while sweating the mind-boggling level of debt you have?  Do you seek out causes to champion, causes that are guaranteed to fuck you six ways from Sunday, should they ever be realized?  Do you put your faith in political or economic models that benefit only the people that are already fucking you?

I hope not, friends.  I hope that you have seen through the cheap glitz and the shuffling corpses on your TV.  I hope that you remember that the only Spider is in your head.  I hope that you remember what Curly was trying to tell us, what Johnny Cash told us, what James Brown was screaming out the car window, as he led cops on a 4 state car chase.

If you haven't, all I can tell you is this:  The Train is about to pull away from the station, but the doors are still open.  All you have to do is let go.  Let go of the rubbish they've sold you.  Let go of the beliefs you've been told you have to have.  Let go of crutches like religion and "magick" and myths of the Free Market™, and CRAWL WITH PRIDE!

Time may be a little...elastic these days, but time is short, and it's getting even shorter.  It's time to decide whether you're gonna be on the train or on the tracks.  You don't need ivory tower economic theory, you need a job.  You don't need Keith Olbermann or Rush Limbaugh or Ron Paul, you need that seven pounds of grey shit between your ears.  You don't need sigils and patchouli or fake patriotism, you need common fucking sense.  

Hell, you don't even need "Bob".  All you need is good friends and Saturday night, and we can all sip cheap whiskey and smoke lousy cigars, and laugh at all the poor bastards who managed to justify why being on the tracks is the only sensible option for right-thinking people.

We here in The Church™ say, "Fuck them if they can't take a joke", and I'm here to tell you, THE JOKE IS ON THEM!

CAN I GET AN "AMEN"?

Thank you, and good night.

Okay for Now,
Dok
Molon Lube

Freeky

#1
August 18, 2011, 05:58:11 PM
HallelujahhellsyeahamenFUCK!

:mittens:

Adios

#2
August 18, 2011, 06:08:52 PM
Does the train have satellite teevee? Also, I simply must be in the club car, where the bar is. I can handle cheap whiskey, hell I even prefer it, but when it comes to cigars they must be South American and hand rolled. The cigar cutter must also be of high quality so as to not mangle the tips, and wooden matches only for lighting them please.

The club car must have those deep red plush seats, the cheap wooden seats make my ass hurt after a while.

Do we know where the train is going, after all, I musn't end up in a place like Detroit. Is it air conditioned?

Still, all in all, I guess it's better than being outside on the tracks.


Hawk,
channeling bad people.

Dysfunctional Cunt

#4
August 18, 2011, 06:22:45 PM
AMEN PREACH IT BROTHER!!!!

:mittens: :mittens: :mittens: :mittens: :mittens: :mittens:

LMNO

#5
August 18, 2011, 06:29:18 PM
Curly Approves.

:curly:

Luna

#6
August 18, 2011, 06:46:30 PM
Hell, yeah!
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#7
August 18, 2011, 07:42:33 PM
FUCKING FUCK. :mittens:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

P3nT4gR4m

#8
August 18, 2011, 07:57:30 PM
In a fucking nutshell :mittens:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Don Coyote

#9
August 19, 2011, 01:55:11 AM
:mittens: for now. I think something is percolating back in my head. It feels spiky, and it might burst out.

Do we even care where the train is going?

Fuck no.

Fuck all the trappings.

Every night should be Saturday NightTM.

Everything should be Cheap Whiskey and CigarsTM.

But if you drink cheap whiskey and smoke cheap cigars because you want to appear as if you don't care about quality, get the fuck off the train, or jump into the boiler. That is no better than insisting on the finest quality whiskey. And that just makes you a fucking 'hipster' that dresses like a hobo but drives his Audi, BMW or Mercedes.

If you drink cheap whiskey because it's fucking whiskey, and you never turn down cheap or free booze because it's fucking Saturday NightTM, don't just drink it.

DRINK THE FUCK OUT OF THAT DRINK FOR YOU ARE PARTYING WITH FELLOW GODS!!!!!!



Coyote, ok for now, but there will be more.

Also, in agreement with Dok, and CB.

The Good Reverend Roger

#10
November 16, 2011, 10:44:34 PM
Quote from: Pope Pastor Wolf-Something-Or-Other on August 19, 2011, 01:55:11 AM
:mittens: for now. I think something is percolating back in my head. It feels spiky, and it might burst out.

Do we even care where the train is going?

Fuck no.

Fuck all the trappings.

Every night should be Saturday NightTM.

Everything should be Cheap Whiskey and CigarsTM.

But if you drink cheap whiskey and smoke cheap cigars because you want to appear as if you don't care about quality, get the fuck off the train, or jump into the boiler. That is no better than insisting on the finest quality whiskey. And that just makes you a fucking 'hipster' that dresses like a hobo but drives his Audi, BMW or Mercedes.

If you drink cheap whiskey because it's fucking whiskey, and you never turn down cheap or free booze because it's fucking Saturday NightTM, don't just drink it.

DRINK THE FUCK OUT OF THAT DRINK FOR YOU ARE PARTYING WITH FELLOW GODS!!!!!!



Coyote, ok for now, but there will be more.

Also, in agreement with Dok, and CB.



How'd I miss this?

PREACH IT, BROTHER COYOTE!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Don Coyote

#11
November 16, 2011, 11:57:42 PM
Too bad I don't feel like I live like that.

The Good Reverend Roger

#12
September 24, 2012, 05:57:14 PM
Bump for project
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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