Love #2: A Reasonable Suggestion

[Salty]

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Eh, I'm not sure this is really what I wanted to say, at all. Gonna leave it up because deleting posts is for babies.
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I want to write about troubadours and the kind of love those fuckers sang about and how I think that's partially responsible for the clusterfuck we stupid fucking primates have gotten into concerning this horrible, perpetual onslaught of glandular confusion we often find ourselves in.

But that will have to wait until I have some more facts at my disposal since you people are so fond of them, and conversely so harsh with people talking out of their ass which I'm afraid I might do if I rant about troubadours.

SO, instead, I will try and pin down something I can clearly see right in front of me, something I see on a daily basis.

Yes, there are hundreds of thousands of stories and songs and poems and tv shows and movies and well rants and FB posts (kay maybe we're in the millions now) and LJ posts and yadda yadda...all attempts at confused little monkeys to wrap their brains around this one, pesky little thing.

And a rational person will, perhaps not gladly, tell you that these are chemicals floating around and you are wasting your time trying to figure it all out. And maybe they have a point. HOWEVER: what they seem to ignore is that those chemicals are MAKING YOU DO THINGS. They're making you move across the country, or a nation, or the world. They're making you reconsider how you make a living. Those annoying little chemicals are the cause for REAL and OBSERVABLE actions in your life. I think this gives them a little more importance than raw science allows.

I am certainly not going to tell you that.
I am going to lay it down for you.
The Truth about Love, right here folks.

It's really simple.
In fact it's so simple, so completely obvious that I can hardly believe that rational people who are so adept at clearing away the cobwebs that tend to grow in the mind can miss it. Quite shocking really.

When it comes to love...
you take it
to
THE MOTHERFUCKING WALL.

Why in the FUCK would you do anything else? I mean really. In this most deeply personal aspect of your life, nothing to do with religion (I know what you're thinking) or politics (you're wrong about that too) or juggalos or REEFER MADNESS or any of the other things where you would obviously take it TO THE WALL, why would you not do the same for love?

I cannot begin to understand it.

You do it god damn it. You go all the way, you hold nothing back beyond the compromises that make every human interaction worth having possible. And if they can't do the same FUCK 'EM.

Will this lead you to a pain free life full of hopping happy bunny rabbits frolicking in the sunshine and The Perfect Relationship that will last until the end of time?

FUCK NO. Ew.

That's not the point. The point is: If you find yourself relentlessly confused by the barrage of hormones and cursed glands trying to fuck with your happy little universe YUO ARE DOIN' IT WRONG.

Cut through that shit like you do everything else in your life. Ask yourself: Have I taken it TO THE WALL? Have THEY? If either answer is "no" you know what the fuck to do.

Everything else is a fucking excuse.

OR KILL ME.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Oh Alty.

I have been thinking about love a lot. I have read about love a lot. I think I have a pretty good handle on what love is, and what I am willing/wanting to do in the face of love.

Loving someone to the ends of the earth? I think that depends on why they are making you go to the ends of the earth for them.

But yes... there is a certain amount of wholehearted commitment from both parties that makes love work. You build a story together, a story that both people are fully invested in. No testing. Just investment, determination, commitment. And when the infatuation fades, which it does, the structure which you have built together should be strong enough to house both of you, through trials, boredom, adventure, and eventually, renewed infatuation. Which always comes around again, if that structure is strong enough, if the commitment and determination is solid enough.

[Salty]

It is a complicated thing because there are so many facets involved. The multifarious, multifaceted contributing factors that make up a human being and somehow mashing them together to share the blink of an eye that is our human life.

And yet, despite these things, the motivation and the central point of action must always be the same for us all.

And that part is simple.

[Epimetheus]

 

Why in the FUCK would you do anything else? I mean really. In this most deeply personal aspect of your life, nothing to do with religion (I know what you're thinking) or politics (you're wrong about that too) or juggalos or REEFER MADNESS or any of the other things where you would obviously take it TO THE WALL, why would you not do the same for love?

Not I, nor anyone I know, takes religion, politics, or REEFER MADNESS to the wall, and I'm not sure what you mean by that, especially the last.

You do it god damn it. You go all the way, you hold nothing back beyond the compromises that make every human interaction worth having possible. And if they can't do the same FUCK 'EM.

You lost me again.
You go all the way, whether the other does or not? That seems kind of...er...nonsense?

Everything else is a fucking excuse.

Careful, though, because sometimes what you call "love" will play the excuse.

And yet, despite these things, the motivation and the central point of action must always be the same for us all.

Is that so?

[Salty]

Taking this TO THE WALL does not mean committing to someone until the end of time, to the ends of the earth. But the emotional investment, however much you or they are willing to invest, should be all or nothing. Even if it's just a piece of yourself, it has to be the whole piece and it has to be laid down so heavily that the other person is either going to puke at the overload. Or not.

I think that's how you know you're on the right track. When they don't puke.

[Epimetheus]

I think you may be applying your ideal love style to everyone? Just an idea.

[Salty]

Why in the FUCK would you do anything else? I mean really. In this most deeply personal aspect of your life, nothing to do with religion (I know what you're thinking) or politics (you're wrong about that too) or juggalos or REEFER MADNESS or any of the other things where you would obviously take it TO THE WALL, why would you not do the same for love?

1.Not I, nor anyone I know, takes religion, politics, or REEFER MADNESS to the wall, and I'm not sure what you mean by that, especially the last.

You do it god damn it. You go all the way, you hold nothing back beyond the compromises that make every human interaction worth having possible. And if they can't do the same FUCK 'EM.

2.You lost me again.
You go all the way, whether the other does or not? That seems kind of...er...nonsense?

Everything else is a fucking excuse.

3.Careful, though, because sometimes what you call "love" will play the excuse.

And yet, despite these things, the motivation and the central point of action must always be the same for us all.

4.Is that so?

I am confused by your confusion.
1. I guess this wasn't meant for everyone. Some people just dabble in these things, they play games and then wonder why they derive no satisfaction from them. I feel intense, honest emotional investment is critical.
2. Yeah. When you're dating or involved with someone I always push things to their limit. If they don't do the same or don't like what I've got to offer in that respect I can't see any reason to continue perusing
anything with them.
3. This I just don't understand.
4. I'm not sure how you've taken this. I guess I spoke more strongly than I meant to. I MUST not. Do what you want, I'm not here to judge that. But I think it behooves the romantically confused to come from a place of emotional intensity, which I guess is what I'm talking about here. Unrelenting, completely open emotional intensity that reaches to the core of who you are.

Perhaps I haven't though this through as thoroughly as I ought to have.

I think you may be applying your ideal love style to everyone? Just an idea.

I think you may be right there. To be fair, that was not my intention.

[Salty]

This shit is harder to understand the more I try to understand it.

Thanks, Epimetheus, for pointing that out.

[Epimetheus]

OK. Being open and true with your emotions is vital. I can agree, I don't think there's any argument there.
As for 3) I was just saying it's important to be careful what you're labeling "love" in your life. Just, you know, center yourself and be aware.

This shit is harder to understand the more I try to understand it.

Thanks, Epimetheus, for pointing that out.

A little healthy doubt goes a long way

If it's not too personal to ask, do you think you've found a successful relationship with this intense passion you speak of, or does this concept come from realizing past mistakes, or ____ ?

[Salty]

Actually I've been more guarded, wary and careful in this relationship than any of my previous, though there is no lack of passion on either end. Brutal, unforgiving, scarring.

As for my mistakes...the only relationship I ever regretted losing was lost mostly from being reaching down past what and who I thought I was, throwing all that way, and being my cantankerous, rage-filled, cynical self.
But losing that was good. I'm not trapped in something neither of us really wanted, no delusions or clinging to what I thought I wanted because it was there, dependable, known.

This comes more from things I see others doing-choosing painful or fruitless relationships and clinging to them while rejecting anything that smells of genuinely positive emotional interaction-it happens all the time.
And perhaps some latent rage at people who I cared about who would not invest in me emotionally for reasons I can't begin to understand. You know those people who only want things they can't have? I hate those people.

I try to keep shit like that out of my rants. I should have stuck with the troubadours. Fucking troubadours.

In the end, i think I this OP misfired. I should have given it some more thought.

[Luna]

In the end, i think I this OP misfired. I should have given it some more thought.

No, Alty, it didn't.  And, firing shit off before you've thought it to death isn't always a bad thing.  Sometimes you've gotta spit shit back up onto the table to see if it needs more chewing before you swallow it.

You do it god damn it. You go all the way, you hold nothing back beyond the compromises that make every human interaction worth having possible. And if they can't do the same FUCK 'EM.

This bit, right here...  That's what people miss, sometimes.  They throw themselves, and I mean they throw EVERYTHING they are, into a relationship, without stopping to see if the person that they're in that relationship with is doing the same.  They're not in it for the sake of themselves, or for the other person, not really...  They're just there for the sake of being IN the relationship...  The other person is interchangeable, really, if they're not stopping to realize what it is the other person is doing.

Eh, it's 4:30 in the morning, and I'm not awake yet, if I'm not making any sense, ignore me.

[Epimetheus]

In the end, i think I this OP misfired. I should have given it some more thought.

Woah, woah, man! The OP was great, I was just saying what came to my mind.
Thanks for telling me the background.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I don't know if TO THE WALL is really what you're going for, in love. Because... well, you know what that means, right?

TO THE WALL is where you take it when you're determined to see what kind of mess can be made, consequences be damned.

I think I understand what you meant, but...

[hirley0]

I don't know if TO THE WALL is really what you're going for, in love. Because... well, you know what that means, right?

TO THE WALL is where you take it when you're determined to see what kind of mess can be made, consequences be damned.

I think I understand what you meant, but...

OH
Wait this was 'poised to be a Quote:
never mind i'LL post this theN the Quote & delete it
OK i see more clearly now that i could just back Up 1 step
and SO a post was not reQUired just copy & paste | Go Sq
now where was i?
07:16:34 AM - 04:13:44 AM = 3h-3m-10K Ms |7:27 - 07:21:44 = 6M
Doing F_n Time again

[Kai]

Love...

It's "just" another brain chemical imbalance.