Join my fantasy football league or I will punish you with my insipid comments

[Iason Ouabache]

Blockpage.



I suppose you're just gonna have to tell me what you're eating right now.

A yummy hamburger. OM NOM NOM!

[Suu]

Captain Cuttabitch? 

[East Coast Hustle]

[Iason Ouabache]

Only 5 people joined my league so I had to fill it up with random Yahoo spags. If one of them wins the league I'm holding all of you responsible.

In insipid news, Eris started pre-school last week. It's at a megachurch a couple of miles from us, so that should be interesting...

[East Coast Hustle]

Oh, I'm'a win the league. Don't you worry.

Not only did I get the one player capable of singlehandedly leading a team to fantasy victory every week, but you suckers let me scoop Randy Moss off waivers. He'll be in a Pats uniform catching bombs from Brady by week 10 and ensuring that I march through the fantasy playoffs like Sherman through Georgia.

[Suu]

I got Drew Brees and the Pittsburgh defense.


I'mma let it ride this year and see what happens with my team without any trades or waivers after the autodraft.

[East Coast Hustle]

I like that plan.

Mostly because everyone who carries 2 defenses and 2 kickers on their roster is giving me a huge competitive advantage.

[Suu]

How do you figure?

[East Coast Hustle]

Because they're wasting 2 roster spots that could be used to acquire otherwise-productive players. The average week-to-week difference between the best defense and the 12th best defense (and the best/12th best kicker) is statistically nearly meaningless. And with both positions, weekly matchups generally matter way more than overall performance for the season. Remember, seasonal average is meaningless in fantasy football. All that matters is what's going to happen that week. In my real league, I generally switch starting defenses 10 or 12 times over the course of the season to take advantage of matchups. Why waste a roster spot on a 2nd defense that I could just grab off the waiver wire anyway? Instead, I've got an extra RB who is splitting carries on a run-first team with an injured QB and a WR who has the potential to be the single most dominant player at his position at exactly the time I'll need him most. If either of those guys scores 4-5 more points at that position in a given week than whoever my opponent has at that position, that's WAY more valuable than a defense or kicker that, though they may score more overall points, is probably only going to put up 2-3 more points than whoever my opponent starts at that position.

[East Coast Hustle]

You know how you get about period clothing? Or how Kai gets about insects?

That's how I get about fantasy football. I wish I could find a way to get paid for it. I've been keeping track and over the last 4 years my take on weekly matchups and who is a good value relative to their average draft position and/or average weekly positional ranking has consistently outperformed Matthew Berry and Christopher Harris, and has been about even with Eric Karabell.

[East Coast Hustle]

Of course, for all of that I haven't won my league in 5 years.

Luck and injuries can be right bastards.

However, I have never finished lower than 4th in a league that we've been doing since we had to keep track on paper using newspaper box scores.

[Suu]

I used to be a lot more into it about 7-8 years ago. My dad and I would go to a bar in Narragansett to watch the Tampa Bay games on Sunday Ticket. The place was awesome too, free buffet during all games. So we'd get a pitcher or 2 (or 3...) and sit there, eat all day and watch football.

There was a group of frat boys from URI that would go there every week too, and we got to know them pretty well. Come to find out they were a fantasy group, so we started playing with them the following season and just had a blast.

[Iason Ouabache]

I got Drew Brees and the Pittsburgh defense.

Yeah? How's that working so far?   

[Suu]

I'm sure it could have been worse.

I could have had Indy.

[East Coast Hustle]

In my real league I started the Texans defense. Who has two thumbs and is a fantasy genius?

THIS GUY.

Now if only LeGarrette Blount hadn't taken a giant steaming dump yesterday...