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I liked how they introduced her, like "her mother died in an insane asylum thinking she was Queen Victoria" and my thought was, I like where I think this is going. I was not disappointed.

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Still MORE anon PM responses.

Started by Doktor Howl, September 27, 2011, 04:30:22 PM

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Doktor Howl

September 27, 2011, 04:30:22 PM
Some of these are older, as I have been short by 2 for several weeks.  Fortunately, the spags came through for me, and here you go, in no particular order:

1.  We change names here quite a bit.  The actual head admin is a guy named Buddhist Monk Wannabe, though he's changed his name so often that the only reliable way to get his attention is to address the thread "Dear Big Poppa".  Or you could just PM The Mgt.

2.  That is because I am a Doktor, with a head full of broken glass and my crazy hanging out.  Arguably, I couldn't help myself.

3.  We allow members of any political or religious background to post here.  Note that I did not at any time say we wouldn't laugh at your beliefs...We still believe in freedom of speech, and that includes ridiculing people who believe in fairy tales like government interference and the free market. 

4.  Badbeast is a big boy, and he grew up scraping the concrete with London police.  I doubt he's traumatized beyond repair by our recent argument...He didn't exactly float down the Thames on a tea biscuit last night, if you catch my drift.  He's a bad person, a cartoon villain, and he probably won't react well to your attempt to coddle him.  Last person that tried still has black eyes from a vicious teabagging.  Be warned.

5.  You aren't actually required to worship Eris to be a Discordian.  Eris isn't one of those Gods that requires worship, neither does she have to DO anything; she merely needs to BE.  Also, I don't know how many times I have to say this, THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ORDER AND DISORDER, AND THERE IS NO DISTINCTION BETWEEN "CREATIVE" CHAOS AND "DESTRUCTIVE" CHAOS EXCEPT IN THE MINDS OF HIPPIES WHO AREN'T SERIOUS ABOUT HAVING A GOOD TIME.

6.  It's because I'm OLD, and I HATE young people.  You kids these days hardly EVER get in trouble, at least the right kind of trouble, and all of your internal organs work properly.  You take a good shit for granted, and you bitch whenever you get a minor STD.  In my day, we COLLECTED THEM, tried for the whole set, and traded them with our friends...Though you could not, in fact, trade them in for valuable prizes.

7.  Look, if it's not fucking real, then why are you WASTING YOUR PRECIOUS TIME ON THIS EARTH fucking with it?  It's 3rd grade wish fulfillment, and it's Goddamn RIDICULOUS to think of an adult prancing around like that.  Besides, who says you HAVE to take a side in politics, anyway?  You are not actually required to join ANY movement, even ours.  THINK FOR YOURSELF OR KILL ME.

8.  No, the pic of the cat in the Jewish beanie was NOT a slam on Jews...It was a slam on the current police state in which we live.  I'm sorry that sort of nuance is above your pointy little head, and I'm sorry if it wounded your inner child, but we do this shit for SCIENCE, and trivialities like your level of butthurt cannot get in the way of this sort of thing.  Grow a sense of humor, FFS.  Being serious about damn near ANYTHING is a mistake (obviously, having a good time is an exception), and I shouldn't have to tell a long time Discordian this sort of shit. 

9.  Your PM made no fucking sense.  Word salad never does.  I suggest you try out Nigel's new product, the one that does exactly what it says on the label, and try again.  You seem to have mistaken us for the Dadaists...They're right down the hall, next to the Invisible Hand Society. 

10.  I can't.  The toilet is too far away from the sink, and I don't have an adequate supply of surgical tubing.  It's a good idea, though, but should be attempted in a bathroom that has a bidet.  You might consider putting in a ball valve, though, as if there's TOO MUCH FUN (which is still better than not enough, of course), you might want to be able to stop the effect in a hurry.  I'd also suggest wearing goggles and a bee keeper's headset...Safety first.  Also, I'm reasonably certain there is no patent on this, and there's no LEGAL reason you couldn't patent it, but the gentlemen at the patent office may disagree.  Lastly, I don't think this will have any therapeutic value whatsoever, but it would still be a neat trick at parties.
Molon Lube

Luna

#1
September 27, 2011, 04:42:59 PM
Obligatory :spittake:

Some day, can I haz a couple of your crazies?  Just for a little while...
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Freeky

#2
September 27, 2011, 04:59:13 PM
Oh wow.  I love these so much. :) :lol:

Jenne

#3
September 27, 2011, 07:56:20 PM
FREAD DELIVERS!!!

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#4
September 27, 2011, 08:30:48 PM
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz: I love these!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Telarus

#5
September 28, 2011, 12:14:28 AM
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Telarus, KSC,
.__.  Keeper of the Contradictory Cephalopod, Zenarchist Swordsman,
(0o)  Tender to the Edible Zen Garden, Ratcheting Metallic Sex Doll of The End Times,
/||\   Episkopos of the Amorphous Dreams Cabal

Join the Doll Underground! Experience the Phantasmagorical Safari!

navkat

#6
March 09, 2012, 04:17:53 PM
Dear Rog,
It's funner when you post the replies and let our WILD AND CUH-RAY-ZEE IMAGINATIONS do the work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#7
March 09, 2012, 04:43:19 PM
These are my FAVORITE. I can't wait for the next installment!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Doktor Howl

#8
March 09, 2012, 05:29:34 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 09, 2012, 04:43:19 PM
These are my FAVORITE. I can't wait for the next installment!

I'm at 9 right now.  One more loony toon and it's on.
Molon Lube

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#9
March 09, 2012, 08:03:07 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 09, 2012, 05:29:34 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 09, 2012, 04:43:19 PM
These are my FAVORITE. I can't wait for the next installment!

I'm at 9 right now.  One more loony toon and it's on.

GO! GO! GO! NUTCASES!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

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