The Dangers of an Unvented Spleen.

[Doktor Howl]

I care, I do, I deeply sympathize.

I'm the fucking Walrus from The Walrus and the Carpenter.  I am stuffed full of sympathy, emotion, and a turbo-powered desire to know what's going on in your life.

Tweet at me, people.  Tell me how much you drank, how school is going, tell me all about the most recent love of your entire life.  Don't bother to make it funny or interesting, by the way, because you're special, and that's all that should be required.  Just holler it out, and don't worry about interrupting a conversation, because we were only talking to pass the time between your updates.  Be sure to deal promptly with anyone who "upstages" you, as we're here for YOU, not for THEM.

Likewise, all Facebook groups are there strictly for collecting the details of your life for the inevitable biography that must be written to document the fascinating details of your rock star life.  Any posts asking that people PLEASE STAY ON TOPIC are just the OP being coy.  But you knew that.

Tell me everything.  Spare no details.  I cannot get through a day without my fix.

Also, make sure to remind me that the seemingly banal and endless updates are proof positive that you're evil, or a rebel, or a jet-setter who has just hit hard times and can't afford the jet at this particular moment.

In addition, I am happy to rope Freeky into helping me make content for your program, only to be told that the content was conveniently "lost", and that we should both go listen to that program on a regular basis anyway.  I do so dearly love wasting my time, and there's nothing quite like having someone dump an hour's worth of our stuff with a contrived excuse to brighten up our day.  This is not at all offensive.  In fact, it piques our interest to no end, and makes us REALLY want to participate - or even listen - in the future.

I also don't mind when my paid-for-in-advance project gets dumped, and I get updates every 8 months about how it's coming along or whatever.  I believe those updates, and I stand by the mailbox every day, holding my breath.  It's good for the lungs.

So tell me everything, and I will listen with rapt attention.

Because I care.

Venomously yours,
Dok

[The Rev]

Oh thank god. I was worried that you wouldn't want to hear how my pet bunny got a A in carrot harvesting and that my dog has been chewing sticks and how my kids like to play in the park and how my new old truck is running and how my...

[Doktor Howl]

Oh thank god. I was worried that you wouldn't want to hear how my pet bunny got a A in carrot harvesting and that my dog has been chewing sticks and how my kids like to play in the park and how my new old truck is running and how my...

NEEDS AT LEAST 3 THREADS.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

I have a hangnail...... TWEET ME BACK.....

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

I just ripped my hangnail off......  TWEET ME BACK....

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

EW BLOOD....  TWEET ME BACK.....

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

 

Is that more what you meant?

Love you Dok!!!

Sorry, I honestly just couldn't stop myself.

On a side note.  My cat learned to open the refridgerator.  I think she's stealing beer and running wild with the neighborhood toms..... 

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

I had a dream last night about barfing on an unfinished art project.

I decided the project was complete after unintentionally adding the vomit, but then continued to puke on it until I woke up.

[The Rev]

OMG!!! Pcking and srting stuff. So tired!!! My BFF called and can't come help. Pain meds help tho. No rm to move, boxes evrwhere

LOL, pets r nuts

[kingyak]

Hey Dok, check out these tacos!


I'm gonna eat the fuck out of those. Oh yeah.

[trix]

  Fuck you, now I want a taco.

[Kai]

I'm sorry you feel that way, Dok. Telling my friends about my dissapointing little life with my discouraged job search for work outside my field and how College Town team is doing, and my stagnating research and my little bits of my family life that don't suck, and my relationships, they help keep me sane. You help keep me sane.

So I'll keep posting about it on Facebook, because in a whole lot of ways it's a cry for help, and when I stop, when I resign myself to being contented to waste this life away and not move forward, when I go back to thinking about the thousand ways I could off myself. That I'm still interested is good, even if it's just these little insignificant things, because at least I'm still living.

[The Rev]

I'm sorry you feel that way, Dok. Telling my friends about my dissapointing little life with my discouraged job search for work outside my field and how College Town team is doing, and my stagnating research and my little bits of my family life that don't suck, and my relationships, they help keep me sane. You help keep me sane.

So I'll keep posting about it on Facebook, because in a whole lot of ways it's a cry for help, and when I stop, when I resign myself to being contented to waste this life away and not move forward, when I go back to thinking about the thousand ways I could off myself. That I'm still interested is good, even if it's just these little insignificant things, because at least I'm still living.

I don't always drink face book status, but when I do I drink Kai's.

[Kai]

I'm sorry you feel that way, Dok. Telling my friends about my dissapointing little life with my discouraged job search for work outside my field and how College Town team is doing, and my stagnating research and my little bits of my family life that don't suck, and my relationships, they help keep me sane. You help keep me sane.

So I'll keep posting about it on Facebook, because in a whole lot of ways it's a cry for help, and when I stop, when I resign myself to being contented to waste this life away and not move forward, when I go back to thinking about the thousand ways I could off myself. That I'm still interested is good, even if it's just these little insignificant things, because at least I'm still living.

I don't always drink face book status, but when I do I drink Kai's.

Also, those are some damn good looking tacos. I love it when they have fresh cut vegetables.

Also also, I hope the person the OP was aimed at comes in here and defends their integrity. Because those are some strong accusations, things that would generally mean "unfriending". Heh.

[The Rev]

I'm sorry you feel that way, Dok. Telling my friends about my dissapointing little life with my discouraged job search for work outside my field and how College Town team is doing, and my stagnating research and my little bits of my family life that don't suck, and my relationships, they help keep me sane. You help keep me sane.

So I'll keep posting about it on Facebook, because in a whole lot of ways it's a cry for help, and when I stop, when I resign myself to being contented to waste this life away and not move forward, when I go back to thinking about the thousand ways I could off myself. That I'm still interested is good, even if it's just these little insignificant things, because at least I'm still living.

I don't always drink face book status, but when I do I drink Kai's.

Also, those are some damn good looking tacos. I love it when they have fresh cut vegetables.

Also also, I hope the person the OP was aimed at comes in here and defends their integrity. Because those are some strong accusations, things that would generally mean "unfriending". Heh.