I'm so glad I'm a Beta

[East Coast Hustle]

I don't think anybody was suggesting that physical attractiveness should be disregarded, just that people for whom "scoring with a perfect 10" is the most important factor in choosing a partner are repugnant mongloids.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

I don't think anybody was suggesting that physical attractiveness should be disregarded, just that people for whom "scoring with a perfect 10" is the most important factor in choosing a partner are repugnant mongloids.

And fooling themselves, at that.

[East Coast Hustle]

That too.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Something I find disturbing are the men and women who are angry and resentful at others because they can't attract a mate who is of significantly higher, for lack of a better term, attractiveness level than themselves. Not merely physical; also consider an out-of-shape 40-year-old retail employee bitching because she can't find a rich guy to take care of her, or the high-school dropout who doesn't understand why she can't seem to end up with anyone with a higher education.

The (not-so-odd) thing is that the anger and resentment themselves are such unattractive traits that at some point, they become a major deciding factor in their level of social desirability. I once worked with a guy who had the most wretched sadsack demeanor and was constantly complaining that women wouldn't give him the time of day; he was repulsive in part because of the bitterness that rolled off him in waves. He was only 26. Men and women avoided him, because he was fucking awful to be around, and it didn't have anything to do with his perfectly acceptable physical appearance. When you meet someone who is already angry at you because you won't sleep with them, or because you're part of a category of people who won't sleep with them, you know pretty instinctively that they have no interest in getting to know who you are, so why bother? Avoid.

[Chairman Risus]

Something I find disturbing are the men and women who are angry and resentful at others because they can't attract a mate who is of significantly higher, for lack of a better term, attractiveness level than themselves. Not merely physical; also consider an out-of-shape 40-year-old retail employee bitching because she can't find a rich guy to take care of her, or the high-school dropout who doesn't understand why she can't seem to end up with anyone with a higher education.

The (not-so-odd) thing is that the anger and resentment themselves are such unattractive traits that at some point, they become a major deciding factor in their level of social desirability. I once worked with a guy who had the most wretched sadsack demeanor and was constantly complaining that women wouldn't give him the time of day; he was repulsive in part because of the bitterness that rolled off him in waves. He was only 26. Men and women avoided him, because he was fucking awful to be around, and it didn't have anything to do with his perfectly acceptable physical appearance. When you meet someone who is already angry at you because you won't sleep with them, or because you're part of a category of people who won't sleep with them, you know pretty instinctively that they have no interest in getting to know who you are, so why bother? Avoid.

I've got a friend who gets himself in similar situations. It's not that he's offensive, it's that he can become cripplingly indecisive and withdrawn around people he's not comfortable with, which costs him potential relationships, which only feeds his insecurities and indecision.
It's some sort of ridiculous positive feedback loop.

[Slurrealist]

Something I find disturbing are the men and women who are angry and resentful at others because they can't attract a mate who is of significantly higher, for lack of a better term, attractiveness level than themselves. Not merely physical; also consider an out-of-shape 40-year-old retail employee bitching because she can't find a rich guy to take care of her, or the high-school dropout who doesn't understand why she can't seem to end up with anyone with a higher education.

The (not-so-odd) thing is that the anger and resentment themselves are such unattractive traits that at some point, they become a major deciding factor in their level of social desirability. I once worked with a guy who had the most wretched sadsack demeanor and was constantly complaining that women wouldn't give him the time of day; he was repulsive in part because of the bitterness that rolled off him in waves. He was only 26. Men and women avoided him, because he was fucking awful to be around, and it didn't have anything to do with his perfectly acceptable physical appearance. When you meet someone who is already angry at you because you won't sleep with them, or because you're part of a category of people who won't sleep with them, you know pretty instinctively that they have no interest in getting to know who you are, so why bother? Avoid.

I can tell from personal experience that usually this is the cause why the less attractive or successful don't get the attention from the "alpha" group. Once you stop feeling sorry, feeling angry, or play the victim role, and just be yourself, you'll get all the attention you need.
I don't know about other cases, but that's what I discovered personally and in real life.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Something I find disturbing are the men and women who are angry and resentful at others because they can't attract a mate who is of significantly higher, for lack of a better term, attractiveness level than themselves. Not merely physical; also consider an out-of-shape 40-year-old retail employee bitching because she can't find a rich guy to take care of her, or the high-school dropout who doesn't understand why she can't seem to end up with anyone with a higher education.

The (not-so-odd) thing is that the anger and resentment themselves are such unattractive traits that at some point, they become a major deciding factor in their level of social desirability. I once worked with a guy who had the most wretched sadsack demeanor and was constantly complaining that women wouldn't give him the time of day; he was repulsive in part because of the bitterness that rolled off him in waves. He was only 26. Men and women avoided him, because he was fucking awful to be around, and it didn't have anything to do with his perfectly acceptable physical appearance. When you meet someone who is already angry at you because you won't sleep with them, or because you're part of a category of people who won't sleep with them, you know pretty instinctively that they have no interest in getting to know who you are, so why bother? Avoid.

I can tell from personal experience that usually this is the cause why the less attractive or successful don't get the attention from the "alpha" group. Once you stop feeling sorry, feeling angry, or play the victim role, and just be yourself, you'll get all the attention you need.
I don't know about other cases, but that's what I discovered personally and in real life.

I've seen this happen too... when people snap out of self-pity and resentment and start participating, really participating, people who once avoided them will suddenly start talking to them and inviting them along.

Funny, that.

I'll say another thing, too, from the female point of view... if anyone approaches me with something like "I can't imagine that a girl like you would give someone like me the time of day", I have learned to take them at their word, and not bother. Because if I do, our entire interaction if going to be full of obsequious flattery and pathetic catering, I'll never know what he's really like and he'll never know what I'm really like because he's not actually paying attention to anything but  his own projections, IF I kiss him he'll instantly start imagining us as practically married, and when I stop returning his calls after the first or second date he'll go on a self-pity freak-out rampage.

So now, whenever I hear any form of "you're too good for a guy like me" I bolt.

[EK WAFFLR]

I'll say another thing, too, from the female point of view... if anyone approaches me with something like "I can't imagine that a girl like you would give someone like me the time of day", I have learned to take them at their word, and not bother. Because if I do, our entire interaction if going to be full of obsequious flattery and pathetic catering, I'll never know what he's really like and he'll never know what I'm really like because he's not actually paying attention to anything but  his own projections, IF I kiss him he'll instantly start imagining us as practically married, and when I stop returning his calls after the first or second date he'll go on a self-pity freak-out rampage.

So now, whenever I hear any form of "you're too good for a guy like me" I bolt.

This is true when you switch the innie and outie.
Furthermore, all women I've been with who has been like that ended up being psychotically jealous.

[Triple Zero]

I can't help but feel like this alpha/beta crap is just missing the point or buying into some sort of preconceived notions of how you're supposed to be, I just seem to put it into words...

The recognition of the alpha is something we are biologically programmed for.
The idea that there's an alpha/beta binary and that "betas" are the most inferior/subordinate is pure seduction community bullshit, as far as I can tell, and I don't think that "everyone but the alpha is a loser" is a useful status hierarchy to train our brains to recognise.

Yes. The "alpha/beta thing" is a valid terminology in behavioural biology, but in the "seduction/influencing" sense it is short-sighted at best.

[Pæs]

I can't help but feel like this alpha/beta crap is just missing the point or buying into some sort of preconceived notions of how you're supposed to be, I just seem to put it into words...

The recognition of the alpha is something we are biologically programmed for.
The idea that there's an alpha/beta binary and that "betas" are the most inferior/subordinate is pure seduction community bullshit, as far as I can tell, and I don't think that "everyone but the alpha is a loser" is a useful status hierarchy to train our brains to recognise.

Yes. The "alpha/beta thing" is a valid terminology in behavioural biology, but in the "seduction/influencing" sense it is short-sighted at best.

Yeah, outside of the seduction community a beta is a different thing altogether. They seem to have just taken the words and given them new definitions based on their own idea of what social status should be based on.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I'll say another thing, too, from the female point of view... if anyone approaches me with something like "I can't imagine that a girl like you would give someone like me the time of day", I have learned to take them at their word, and not bother. Because if I do, our entire interaction if going to be full of obsequious flattery and pathetic catering, I'll never know what he's really like and he'll never know what I'm really like because he's not actually paying attention to anything but  his own projections, IF I kiss him he'll instantly start imagining us as practically married, and when I stop returning his calls after the first or second date he'll go on a self-pity freak-out rampage.

So now, whenever I hear any form of "you're too good for a guy like me" I bolt.

This is true when you switch the innie and outie.
Furthermore, all women I've been with who has been like that ended up being psychotically jealous.

It makes sense that they would be... if she is already so insecure that she thinks she's not good enough for you, it stands to reason that she would also always be perpetually afraid that you will leave her as soon as you find somebody "good enough". My first husband was like that, and didn't like me out of the house to go watch TV with my friends when he was gone working night shift.

[East Coast Hustle]

I'm having so much trouble imagining you putting up with that at all.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I don't think anybody was suggesting that physical attractiveness should be disregarded, just that people for whom "scoring with a perfect 10" is the most important factor in choosing a partner are repugnant mongloids.

When I really, really like someone, they start morphing into a 10 in my eyes.

And the most physically attractive person in the world starts to look ugly if he/she is a bad person.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I'm having so much trouble imagining you putting up with that at all.

Oh, that shit didn't last long! It was my first serious relationship and it rapidly degenerated into a battle between his insecurity and my independence. Once I was an hour late coming home from work because I was getting a haircut, and he was frantic and accusatory, resulting in me winging a bowl of orange sherbet at his head and narrowly missing. It hit the wall and exploded, and he was cleaning bits of glass and sherbet off the walls and ceiling for hours. Later, I found out that he was a chronic cheater, which explained his perpetual paranoia.

I was 18 and he was 27 when we got together. I think he thought he could train and dominate me. He was very wrong, and eventually I just got a truck and moved all my shit out.

It was far messier than that, of course, but you get the gist.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I don't think anybody was suggesting that physical attractiveness should be disregarded, just that people for whom "scoring with a perfect 10" is the most important factor in choosing a partner are repugnant mongloids.

When I really, really like someone, they start morphing into a 10 in my eyes.

And the most physically attractive person in the world starts to look ugly if he/she is a bad person.

Likewise. I have met people and not initially given them a second glance, but after talking to them for a while and finding them interesting/good, they become extremely attractive. When I'm in love with someone they become the most gorgeous creature I've ever seen.

And I've known people who were physically "beautiful" but their personalities made them completely unattractive.