ECH IS A VERY, VERY BAD MAN!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

When the cowboys and Arabs draw down on each other in the boardroom, it's ECH handing out the writs and the bullets and the industrial credits.  When trawlers are cut in half in mid-sea collisions, ECH is drunk at the helm.  When the banks fail, you can be pretty damn sure he's already out of the market.  When 60 diners come down with explosive diarrhea, you can be reasonably certain he's been doctoring the crème brûlée again.

ECH is guilty of many crimes, and his bizarre deformities are no excuse.  You ever notice that his pictures are always high angle or from the waist up?  It's because his legs are only 6 inches long, and he smacks his balls on the floor with every step...And he LIKES IT.  This only serves to make that weird dance he does on the wharf all the more horrifying, but he just won't fucking stop.  It makes no Goddamn sense, he just does that strange high-speed jitterbug on his stumpy legs, right down the pier, while all the NORMAL sailors scream in terror and try to hide behind their hookers.

Just last week, I was minding my own business, posting Dutch porn on the Ms Manners forum, and there he was, teaching people French wrong.  Again.  Some poor bastard is one day going to TRY those phrases he taught them, and instead of getting a date to the local cafe, he's going to find himself in some hideous prison in one of the French colonies.  Imagine that...Instead of getting it on with Ms Hairy Pits, he's going to Devil's Island.  Horrible, horrible.

Why would ECH do such a thing? 

Well, the only explanation is that he's from some Godforsaken Caribbean hellhole, and they just raise people that way down there.  It's almost like they hate regular Americans, and fuck with them just because they can.  They're like Cubans, only their islands are even smaller.  They're like 30 feet across, and they piss in your mai thai if you don't watch 'em like a hawk.

They have tiny little heads, which they disguise with shabby beards and pompadours.  Inside those tiny little heads there is nothing but PURE EVIL.  If President Obama really gave a fuck about America, he'd send the fleet around to teach those scabby little bastards WHO THE FUCKING BOSS IS AROUND HERE.  But he won't, and ECH and his kin are free to spread their disgusting social diseases to our sisters, daughters, and wives...Whom they bewitch with their fucking island Voodoo.  They make little dolls, see, and they jam enormous dildos into them AND THEN OUR WOMEN ARE POWERLESS TO RESIST THEM.

But not even Pat Robertson will speak out against ECH, or any of his warty little island savages.  He's AFRAID, you see, just because ECH can track his IP, come to his house, and

[Don Coyote]

I do belive it is time that all men, women and those between, as well as hyper-intelligent rodents, band together. Yes band together, and put aside our differences.

TOO LONG, have we had our FREEDOM^TM threaten by ECH and his foodvoodoodoo, and his beguiling islander charm. There are those in power that would have you believe that a certain Holy Man^TM is in procession of weapons of mass mind control.

Long has he been forced to by those very same mind lazors to allow us, the Free People to labor under the misguided ideas that he was in possession of them.

I say NO MORE. I have PROOF that ECH is in possesion of

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

This post completely triggered my PD gland, and it made me go

[East Coast Hustle]

Not only that (ALL of that and more)....I heard he actually named an emoticon after himself.




And what's worse, there is a purpose to the ball-slap dance. You see, when that thing finally happens to HIS ship, he'll just wrap his callused scrotum around himself, blow some air into it to keep himself afloat, and be completely free from worrying about sharks while he waits for the currents to bring him to some unsuspecting shore.

[Triple Zero]

ECH is guilty of many crimes, and his bizarre deformities are no excuse.  You ever notice that his pictures are always high angle or from the waist up?  It's because his legs are only 6 inches long, and he smacks his balls on the floor with every step...And he LIKES IT.  This only serves to make that weird dance he does on the wharf all the more horrifying, but he just won't fucking stop.  It makes no Goddamn sense, he just does that strange high-speed jitterbug on his stumpy legs, right down the pier, while all the NORMAL sailors scream in terror and try to hide behind their hookers.

The rumours of the CIA's project to create an army of mutant gorilla-penguin hybrid warriors are of course just rumours.

And the official story is that none of their experiments survived for more than a few hours, days tops, before getting locked into an ejaculation loop, doesn't stop until he's dead. The whole body just gets consumed in producing semen, you can eat all day and all night but you can't keep up when you're shooting the moisturiser like a fucked up oil rig. It's officially denied that none of them ever figured out how to properly perform the ball-stomping dance to prevent squirting your squid to death.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

ECH is guilty of many crimes, and his bizarre deformities are no excuse.  You ever notice that his pictures are always high angle or from the waist up?  It's because his legs are only 6 inches long, and he smacks his balls on the floor with every step...And he LIKES IT.  This only serves to make that weird dance he does on the wharf all the more horrifying, but he just won't fucking stop.  It makes no Goddamn sense, he just does that strange high-speed jitterbug on his stumpy legs, right down the pier, while all the NORMAL sailors scream in terror and try to hide behind their hookers.

The rumours of the CIA's project to create an army of mutant gorilla-penguin hybrid warriors are of course just rumours.

And the official story is that none of their experiments survived for more than a few hours, days tops, before getting locked into an ejaculation loop, doesn't stop until he's dead. The whole body just gets consumed in producing semen, you can eat all day and all night but you can't keep up when you're shooting the moisturiser like a fucked up oil rig. It's officially denied that none of them ever figured out how to properly perform the ball-stomping dance to prevent squirting your squid to death.

Holy shit.

[Luna]

Fuck.  How do you get coffee out of a keyboard?

[P3nT4gR4m]

Fuck.  How do you get coffee out of a keyboard?

Stuff it full of crushed arabica beans and pour boiling water into it, place a cup underneath then wait

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

ECH is guilty of many crimes, and his bizarre deformities are no excuse.  You ever notice that his pictures are always high angle or from the waist up?  It's because his legs are only 6 inches long, and he smacks his balls on the floor with every step...And he LIKES IT.  This only serves to make that weird dance he does on the wharf all the more horrifying, but he just won't fucking stop.  It makes no Goddamn sense, he just does that strange high-speed jitterbug on his stumpy legs, right down the pier, while all the NORMAL sailors scream in terror and try to hide behind their hookers.

The rumours of the CIA's project to create an army of mutant gorilla-penguin hybrid warriors are of course just rumours.

And the official story is that none of their experiments survived for more than a few hours, days tops, before getting locked into an ejaculation loop, doesn't stop until he's dead. The whole body just gets consumed in producing semen, you can eat all day and all night but you can't keep up when you're shooting the moisturiser like a fucked up oil rig. It's officially denied that none of them ever figured out how to properly perform the ball-stomping dance to prevent squirting your squid to death.

The comments on that are hilarious! Youtube never fails to remind me of how moronic people are.

[Triple Zero]

ECH is guilty of many crimes, and his bizarre deformities are no excuse.  You ever notice that his pictures are always high angle or from the waist up?  It's because his legs are only 6 inches long, and he smacks his balls on the floor with every step...And he LIKES IT.  This only serves to make that weird dance he does on the wharf all the more horrifying, but he just won't fucking stop.  It makes no Goddamn sense, he just does that strange high-speed jitterbug on his stumpy legs, right down the pier, while all the NORMAL sailors scream in terror and try to hide behind their hookers.

The rumours of the CIA's project to create an army of mutant gorilla-penguin hybrid warriors are of course just rumours.

And the official story is that none of their experiments survived for more than a few hours, days tops, before getting locked into an ejaculation loop, doesn't stop until he's dead. The whole body just gets consumed in producing semen, you can eat all day and all night but you can't keep up when you're shooting the moisturiser like a fucked up oil rig. It's officially denied that none of them ever figured out how to properly perform the ball-stomping dance to prevent squirting your squid to death.

The comments on that are hilarious! Youtube never fails to remind me of how moronic people are.

But most of them are just quotes from the sketch? Good thing too, I never was quite able to make out the bit "[.. yah it goes red, and then it turns black] and that is when you better watch that you're not piling the pearls into St Peter's dress!" -- SO NOW I KNOW

Or do you mean this little exchange?

<ozziog> Fake. Cant happen. Med student.
<identitaet> Legit. Happens all the time. Spunk expert.

Because I'm not sure who is trolling who there