So, I was down at the game store the other day...

[The Good Reverend Roger]

...And as I was leaving, I overheard some fucking Furry (Why Hat allows them in is beyond me; they never have any money to spend) explaining to a friend of mine why unlimited search & seizure and indefinite detention are good ideas.  ("They won't use them on White people like us.")

This clown is basically representative of all the other fur-freaks I've had the misfortune to meet.  They fucking HATE Mexicans, Arabs, etc, and vote republican...Despite the fact that their heroes would shoot them FIRST if they got their way.  It reminds me of the "conservopagan" thing, where EVERY PAGAN ON THE INTERNET is the token conservative Pagan.

If I didn't already know that humans are dumbfucks, I'd be puzzled at this utter lack of self-preservation instincts.

But here's my problem:  How do you slap a Nazi furry without getting funk all over your hand?  Big, fat, disgusting 35 year old man-child funk on a fatbody wearing a fucking dog collar.  I want to slap the dogshit out of them, but I don't want to spend an hour dipping my hand in turpentine.  Also, the idea that they might actually enjoy it makes me nauseated. 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Don Coyote]

Cricket bats. Hammers. Entrenching Tools. Tomahawks.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Cricket bats. Hammers. Entrenching Tools. Tomahawks.

All cost money, and would have to be disposed of afterward.

I mean, using that sort of shit on regular people afterward would be cruel & unusual.

[Cain]

Does anything need to be done to him?

I mean, he's an overweight, Republican-voting, stupid and, well, a furry.

It could well be argued he is being punished by God in the most extreme way possible.  Punishment would, at its most effective, making him aware of his ridiculous place in humanity and all of existence.

[Don Coyote]

Cricket bats. Hammers. Entrenching Tools. Tomahawks.

All cost money, and would have to be disposed of afterward.

I mean, using that sort of shit on regular people afterward would be cruel & unusual.

Use pvc pipes. Schedule 40 is nice and whippy, but schedule 80 is heavier. It is also fairly cheap.

[Eater of Clowns]

Find out spot in yiff pile.  Hire 300 pound "wolf."

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Does anything need to be done to him?

I mean, he's an overweight, Republican-voting, stupid and, well, a furry.

It could well be argued he is being punished by God in the most extreme way possible.  Punishment would, at its most effective, making him aware of his ridiculous place in humanity and all of existence.

I wasn't thinking of his welfare, I was thinking of my own peace of mind.  Some people walk around begging - DEMANDING - a slap in the face, and being a Holy Man^TM, it's kind of my duty (to myself) to slap their smarmy grins around the back side of their neck.

In other words, I had an urge.  I still do.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Cricket bats. Hammers. Entrenching Tools. Tomahawks.

All cost money, and would have to be disposed of afterward.

I mean, using that sort of shit on regular people afterward would be cruel & unusual.

Use pvc pipes. Schedule 40 is nice and whippy, but schedule 80 is heavier. It is also fairly cheap.

I suppose I could fill a 1" diameter piece with gravel...

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Find out spot in yiff pile.  Hire 300 pound "wolf."

They don't pile down here.  It's too hot, and they have so much funk, they just slide apart.  Like eels.  Big, fat eels.

[Don Coyote]

Cricket bats. Hammers. Entrenching Tools. Tomahawks.

All cost money, and would have to be disposed of afterward.

I mean, using that sort of shit on regular people afterward would be cruel & unusual.

Use pvc pipes. Schedule 40 is nice and whippy, but schedule 80 is heavier. It is also fairly cheap.

I suppose I could fill a 1" diameter piece with gravel...

I'd use sand. Or lead shot.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Cricket bats. Hammers. Entrenching Tools. Tomahawks.

All cost money, and would have to be disposed of afterward.

I mean, using that sort of shit on regular people afterward would be cruel & unusual.

Use pvc pipes. Schedule 40 is nice and whippy, but schedule 80 is heavier. It is also fairly cheap.

I suppose I could fill a 1" diameter piece with gravel...

I'd use sand. Or lead shot.

I'm kind of going for the deadblow effect, here. 

[Cain]

Oh no, I'm saying the best way to destroy him is to point out all the above to him.  In simple and plain language.  Pointing out he is ridiculous, that he is a laughing stock, a contradictory, unintelligent and childish fool, in the starkest and least arguable of ways, and he'll have to walk around for the rest of his life with that knowledge about himself, of how much of a failure, a loser and how utterly meaningless his entire existence is.

I can think of no better punishment.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Note:  I know many fat people, and most of them are okay.  I view obesity as a bit of a character defect, but who has none of those?  However, I withdraw my tolerant attitude toward that, when there's some 300 pound manchild jabbering about survival of the fittest.

[Don Coyote]

Cricket bats. Hammers. Entrenching Tools. Tomahawks.

All cost money, and would have to be disposed of afterward.

I mean, using that sort of shit on regular people afterward would be cruel & unusual.

Use pvc pipes. Schedule 40 is nice and whippy, but schedule 80 is heavier. It is also fairly cheap.

I suppose I could fill a 1" diameter piece with gravel...

I'd use sand. Or lead shot.

I'm kind of going for the deadblow effect, here.

Me too. Maybe we should set up testing groups to determine which would deliver the appropriate amount of "SHUT THE FUCK UP" with the least amount of effort.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Oh no, I'm saying the best way to destroy him is to point out all the above to him.  In simple and plain language.  Pointing out he is ridiculous, that he is a laughing stock, a contradictory, unintelligent and childish fool, in the starkest and least arguable of ways, and he'll have to walk around for the rest of his life with that knowledge about himself, of how much of a failure, a loser and how utterly meaningless his entire existence is.

I can think of no better punishment.

We've done that.  Problem is, they LIKE being mocked.  It's like ripping on BH...You have this nauseating feeling that you're somehow erotically involved.

It's enough to make you want to lose your fucking lunch.