More Weirdos in My PM box

[The Good Reverend Roger]

As always, the names and original messages are left out, to protect the stupid/insane.

1.  You caught us.  Most of us are clueless, leading a normal life wishing we could break out of our narrow "Can't see the forest for the trees" mindset that would put us on par with the divine.  You, sir, are clever!  Yes, indeed, to see us for the sham that we are.  We are not enlightened.  We are not wierder than you.  We threw away time, money, and precious intelligent thought on this trivial "Thing".

Even now, I crumple my copy of the Pentabarf and toss it over my shoulder, with tears in my eyes.  "What have I done with my life?", I cry.  Shall I never see the GOOD life?  No!  I have wasted it on this religion fulla DUMBSHITS that can't even work up a decent invasion hoax like Mercury Theatre's War of the Worlds!  By wasting my time with this Discordia thing, I have only done things that I never would have done, seen things that wouldn't have bothered to see, and met people that I would have shunned because they are not "Like Me".  It is a shame that I couldn't have gotten along with the program and seen the big picture, it really is.  I could be sleeping, waking up, pooping, eating, going to work, coming home from work, watching TV, eating some more, going to bed and repeat as nesessary until I die.  Oops!  I made the mistake of finding SOMETHING ELSE TO FUCKING DO.

Do you fucking get it?  It's SOMETHING ELSE TO DO, nothing more, nothing less.  Stop looking for salvation on the internet.  It ain't here.  There's some laughs, though, and that can sometimes be just as good.

2.  Nigel shat on your parade?  How awful!  I mean, here's this WOMAN, and she's BEING ASSERTIVE.  How the fuck did we allow THAT to happen?  Goddamn it, there's never a fucking Mullah around when you need one, at least since Pastor Warren took a dive.  What's WORSE is that she's doing it IN PUBLIC, in full view of impressionable retards.  You know, like you.

Also, the D&D thing?  How silly of us nerds, right?  We should all be watching NASCAR and grunting at the teevee while we smack those uppity women around.  Listen, chucklefuck, I don't tell YOU how to enjoy your Saturday afternoon.  You won't see ME coming down to the peepshow to point and laugh at you miserably whacking off in your stall.  So fuck off.

3.  No, we really do hate diabetics and cancer babies.  And also those people that age too fast ("Progeria?  Something like that).  It's like using a CHEAT CODE at LIFE.

4.  So, wait.  You created your account way back in 2007, and then never posted, and NOW you're telling me I'm a prick?  WHAT THE FUCK?  That's FIVE YEARS OF MY LIFE that I could have lived like a NORMAL PERSON, if only you'd TOLD ME SOONER! 

5  If you want to swipe material, talk to the authors.  If you want to swipe material without their permission and then tell people you wrote it, then get used to the grim certainty that the BEST thing that could happen would be legal action.  You are dealing with some very vengeful people here, they're just looking for a reason to kick someone in the nads.

And no, ideas don't "belong to the world".  Maybe in your hippie fucking pseudo-pagan new-agey screwed up little mind they do, but here in the world occupied by authors and lawyers and doctors, they belong to him/her what wrote 'em.  If there was an idea fairy running around, YOU WOULDN'T NEED TO COPY OTHER PEOPLES' WORK, WOULD YOU?

I'm guessing you're a poetry major.

6.  No, you fucking half-wit!  Frankenstien was the first science fiction story.  Oh, look, new technology (electricity), we don't know what it does!  Let's explore what effects it might have on a person and on society at large!  THERE IS NOTHING "GOTHIC ROMANCE" ABOUT MARY SHELLEY, you stupendous git!  You may notice that I am making the same argument I made in the conversation I had with Suu (though less politely than I did with her) that you dug up.  That's because MY argument is RIGHT and YOURS is WRONG, and that's all there really is to it.

7.  No, drugs don't make you smarter or more spiritual.  But I think you should do them anyway, because the way they're cut these days, your face will rot off, and I WON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT IT.  And why are you asking ME, anyway?  I am NOT an expert on drugs, from any perspective.  Except benzos, but they're medicine...And cactus, but that's religious and doesn't count.  Shut up.

8.  Yes, I am totally serious when I rip on Scots, Irish, the Welsh, Spanish people, smudgy people, and Canadians.  I am in fact Rush Limbaugh's retarded illegitimate child, and I have somehow found myself here, around Yurrupeens.  For fuck's sake.

9.  No, I will not "try out" Godlikeproductions.com.  Why?  Because Trinity has already banned me five times for disagreeing with his Nazi shit, and frankly, I'll never give him traffic again.  He hates free speech and he hates the free exchange of ideas.  He's a racist cunt that in any sane world would be relegated to sewer-relining professions.  But this isn't a sane world, and we have the internet, so any fucked up racist or otherwise moronic fuckweed can spew their nonsense in public.  Please note that I am including you in the above groups.

10.  Thinking about Breatharianism?  REALLY?  Well, better post your thoughts quickly, then.

As always, more when I collect enough brain-damaged PMs.

[kingyak]

10.  Thinking about Breatharianism?  REALLY?  Well, better post your thoughts quickly, then.

[East Coast Hustle]

Glorious, as always. Though I must admit, I've never been more tempted to press you for an indentity than I am about who wrote the PM that prompted response #5.

Or, at the very least, which stuff they were planning on stealing and passing of as their own so I can google the text of it and see if I have a reasonable justification for spending some of my boring sea-time kicking someone in the proverbial nads.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Glorious, as always. Though I must admit, I've never been more tempted to press you for an indentity than I am about who wrote the PM that prompted response #5.

Or, at the very least, which stuff they were planning on stealing and passing of as their own so I can google the text of it and see if I have a reasonable justification for spending some of my boring sea-time kicking someone in the proverbial nads.

My guess is that one is the one that posted Roger's stuff on her myspace.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Glorious, as always. Though I must admit, I've never been more tempted to press you for an indentity than I am about who wrote the PM that prompted response #5.

Or, at the very least, which stuff they were planning on stealing and passing of as their own so I can google the text of it and see if I have a reasonable justification for spending some of my boring sea-time kicking someone in the proverbial nads.

I have the person's website URL.  If our stuff pops up, you'll get all the gory details.

The first one was my favorite...HOW DARE YOU FUCKERS NOT BE THE GURUS I CAME LOOKING FOR?  You're JUST LIKE REGULAR PEOPLE AND SHIT!  THIS RELIGION IS A JOKE!  IMA RUN OFF TO THE MOONIES!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Glorious, as always. Though I must admit, I've never been more tempted to press you for an indentity than I am about who wrote the PM that prompted response #5.

Or, at the very least, which stuff they were planning on stealing and passing of as their own so I can google the text of it and see if I have a reasonable justification for spending some of my boring sea-time kicking someone in the proverbial nads.

My guess is that one is the one that posted Roger's stuff on her myspace.

Nope.  IIRC, that one was banned.  This was, as most of these are, from some 0 post lurker.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Glorious, as always. Though I must admit, I've never been more tempted to press you for an indentity than I am about who wrote the PM that prompted response #5.

Or, at the very least, which stuff they were planning on stealing and passing of as their own so I can google the text of it and see if I have a reasonable justification for spending some of my boring sea-time kicking someone in the proverbial nads.

I have the person's website URL.  If our stuff pops up, you'll get all the gory details.

The first one was my favorite...HOW DARE YOU FUCKERS NOT BE THE GURUS I CAME LOOKING FOR?  You're JUST LIKE REGULAR PEOPLE AND SHIT!  THIS RELIGION IS A JOKE!  IMA RUN OFF TO THE MOONIES!

[East Coast Hustle]

Glorious, as always. Though I must admit, I've never been more tempted to press you for an indentity than I am about who wrote the PM that prompted response #5.

Or, at the very least, which stuff they were planning on stealing and passing of as their own so I can google the text of it and see if I have a reasonable justification for spending some of my boring sea-time kicking someone in the proverbial nads.

My guess is that one is the one that posted Roger's stuff on her myspace.

I must have missed that.

Probably because....waittaminute.....MySpace still exists?

[East Coast Hustle]

Glorious, as always. Though I must admit, I've never been more tempted to press you for an indentity than I am about who wrote the PM that prompted response #5.

Or, at the very least, which stuff they were planning on stealing and passing of as their own so I can google the text of it and see if I have a reasonable justification for spending some of my boring sea-time kicking someone in the proverbial nads.

I have the person's website URL.  If our stuff pops up, you'll get all the gory details.

The first one was my favorite...HOW DARE YOU FUCKERS NOT BE THE GURUS I CAME LOOKING FOR?  You're JUST LIKE REGULAR PEOPLE AND SHIT!  THIS RELIGION IS A JOKE!  IMA RUN OFF TO THE MOONIES!

That's an incredibly impressive display of completely failing to recognize that you got the point.

[Luna]

Damn... 

Me, I'm curious about #2.  I wanna go back and study the shitting upon.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Glorious, as always. Though I must admit, I've never been more tempted to press you for an indentity than I am about who wrote the PM that prompted response #5.

Or, at the very least, which stuff they were planning on stealing and passing of as their own so I can google the text of it and see if I have a reasonable justification for spending some of my boring sea-time kicking someone in the proverbial nads.

I have the person's website URL.  If our stuff pops up, you'll get all the gory details.

The first one was my favorite...HOW DARE YOU FUCKERS NOT BE THE GURUS I CAME LOOKING FOR?  You're JUST LIKE REGULAR PEOPLE AND SHIT!  THIS RELIGION IS A JOKE!  IMA RUN OFF TO THE MOONIES!

That's an incredibly impressive display of completely failing to recognize that you got the point.

The downside of a religion for kooks and weirdos is, well, all the kooks and weirdos.

[East Coast Hustle]

I love these threads. I can only dare to dream that someday one of these yahoos takes it upon themselves to PM me in a similar manner.

The only retarded PMs I get are from people who post all the time and should fucking know better, but they're no fun to reveal because everybody would immediately know who I was responding to.

Well, that and the poor unfortunate souls who PM The Mgt. But most of them get that special response.

[Cainad (dec.)]

The first one was my favorite...HOW DARE YOU FUCKERS NOT BE THE GURUS I CAME LOOKING FOR?  You're JUST LIKE REGULAR PEOPLE AND SHIT!  THIS RELIGION IS A JOKE!  IMA RUN OFF TO THE MOONIES!

That's amazing.   I guess we're just not haughty and condescending enough for the cool kids.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Damn... 

Me, I'm curious about #2.  I wanna go back and study the shitting upon.

I get complaints about Nigel and - to a lesser extent - ECH all the time.

However, 99% of them are from people who don't have the balls to say anything in public, and most of them are not regulars.  I save personal, private vitriol for the regulars who post that shit.  Nigel has strong opinions, which apparently is unseemly in a woman...I gather the complaints are either from misogynist males or females that are jealous of her willingness to stand upright.

As for ECH, people sometimes miss the fact that he's the board owner, not some rogue admin that should be dealt with.  I always refer them to The Mgt, but I'm guessing they don't have the cojones to complain to HIM.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I love these threads. I can only dare to dream that someday one of these yahoos takes it upon themselves to PM me in a similar manner.

I guess I'm the soft option.