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ITT, We Post the Horrible Truth™ About Badbeast

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, January 31, 2012, 05:50:46 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

January 31, 2012, 05:50:46 PM
1.  Badbeast is the illegitimate lovechild of Ronald Reagan and Maggie Thatcher.

2.  Badbeast only eats authentic English cooking, because he LIKES it.

3.  Badbeast is responsible for American "beer".

4.  Badbeast has John Major in his basement, and beats him daily.

5.  Badbeast has no lower jaw.  Just tentacles.

6.  Badbeast sunk the HMS Sheffield, for a joke.

7.  Badbeast invented the sweatervest.

8.  Badbeast knows what's in the queen's purse, and approves.

9.  Badbeast is not allowed to leave England, by international treaty.

10.  Badbeast consumes 90% of all domestically-produced patchouli in the UK.

Add your facts about Badbeast below.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#1
January 31, 2012, 05:54:28 PM
I'd also like to add that Badbeast spends all his time making up ridiculous accusations against people and MAKES NO SENSE.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#2
January 31, 2012, 05:54:58 PM
BadBeast has consumed enough hallucinogens that South American tree frogs lick his back.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Luna

#3
January 31, 2012, 05:59:20 PM
Quote from: Billy the Twid on January 31, 2012, 05:54:58 PM
BadBeast has consumed enough hallucinogens that South American tree frogs lick his back.

...and then spend months picking the fur off of their tongues.

BadBeast has travelled on time, and had gender reassignment surgery, and is actually his own mother AND father.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Nephew Twiddleton

#4
January 31, 2012, 06:01:41 PM Last Edit: January 31, 2012, 06:07:02 PM by Billy the Twid
Wiltshire got its name after BadBeast had a night of feasting on baked beans, kippers, ale, and a gallon of HP Brown Sauce.

ETA: BadBeast is the Fifth AND Sixth Beatle.

BadBeast was the one who served John Bonham his last shot of vodka.

BadBeast once joked with Eric Clapton that playing Layla on acoustic and play nip out that cool lead riff bit would be pretty neat. But no one ever really knows for sure if BB is serious or just taking the piss, and Clapton took him seriously, when he was, in fact, just taking the piss.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

EK WAFFLR

#5
January 31, 2012, 06:12:02 PM
BadBeast invented Tikka Masala.
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
[/b]

Scribbly

#6
January 31, 2012, 06:36:07 PM
BadBeast built George Osbourne in his basement.

BadBeast is the reason there's no Loch Ness Monster. He's also the reason there are no more wolves or boars. You don't want to know what he replaced them with.

BadBeast once shot a man in Reno. He did it for a noble purpose we may never understand.

BadBeast's son grew up to be Winston Churchill. So did his daughter.

BadBeast replaced all the potatoes in ireland with Whisky. Future generations have recorded this as the Irish Potato Famine.

There is absolutely no truth to the rumors that BadBeast is cornish.
I had an existential crisis and all I got was this stupid gender.

Nephew Twiddleton

#7
January 31, 2012, 06:46:23 PM
Both Irish independence and keeping Northern Ireland in the UK were BadBeast's ideas. He wanted to see how it would play out. He's still observing.

It has been whispered that BadBeast is actually Lemmy's kid brother. We may only conjecture what has caused Lemmy to distance himself from his little brother.

Stonehenge is actually a prank that BadBeast threw together one night in order to troll Druids.

The Cerne Abbas Giant is actually a self-portrait by BadBeast, since he is known to take to the hills in the buff will a club and a stiffy.

He's the reason Queen Victoria was not amused.

Hadrian's Wall was built to keep him in.

ETA: Crop circles? Totally not BadBeast's doing. But he is an important factor in their formation.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

LMNO

#8
January 31, 2012, 07:02:29 PM
Badbeast wrote "Yakkity Sax" on a dare.

Salty

#9
January 31, 2012, 07:39:03 PM
Badbeast is the current incarnation of Krampus.

Once, in retaliation for a joke at his expense, Badbeast formed The Wiggles.

Badbeast is the REAL reason SOPA was written.

Badbeast doesn't breathe air, instead he recycles noxious fumes he emits, which instead produces even more noxious fumes as waste.

Badbeast runs a vast, multinational, nugget porn empire. In much of the underdeveloped world he is known, in various languages, as La Diablo Marrón.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Q. G. Pennyworth

#10
January 31, 2012, 07:57:25 PM
Badbeast is his own evil twin.

Badbeast's skeleton is made of cartilage, and he can detect electrical impulses through specialized sensory organs under his goatee.

Badbeast was destined to sing the song that will end this world, but he forgot the words.

Badbeast can see the future, but only in one eye. This is why Badbeast has no depth perception.

LMNO

#11
January 31, 2012, 09:34:42 PM
Instead of a tail, BadBeast has a vestigial barrister. That sings John Denver songs. In Pig Latin.

Juana

#12
February 01, 2012, 12:02:28 AM
BadBeast is the reason there's no law west of Pecos, Texas.

BadBeast is responsible for the Mystery Spot. He's been tricking tourists and defying physics since 1940.

BadBeast is also responsible for Death Valley.

BadBeast had everything to do with the Donner Party.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

BadBeast

#13
February 01, 2012, 01:49:53 AM
Awww, you guise! *sniff* I love you all dearly, but I feel I must with reluctance, denounce almost half of these allegations as being spurious, and utterly without foundation.
The Clapton thing is true though. And the English cooking.
"We need a plane for Bombing, Strafing, Assault and Battery, Interception, Ground Support, and Reconaissance,
NOT JUST A "FAIR WEATHER FIGHTER"!

"I kinda like him. It's like he sees inside my soul" ~ Nigel


Whoever puts their hand on me to govern me, is a usurper, and a tyrant, and I declare them my enemy!

"And when the clouds obscure the moon, and normal service is resumed. It wont. Mean. A. Thing"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpkCJDYxH-4
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