Dok's File of Things That Need Research When I Get Around to It.

[Doktor Howl]

Mephistophles appeared to Faust as a poodle, but otherwise the only thing poodles have going for them is that they can climb trees, which makes me suspect that they are not really dogs at all.

Note:  Obtain poodles for research.

[Doktor Howl]

Someone once said that you can gain the attention of any large thing, from an elephant to a bureaucracy, if you can locate the part that feels pain.

Note 1:  It would seem that this should be correct, but it would also seem that you'd better be prepared for the full attention of whatever it is you're dealing with.

Note 2:  Hire a research assistant before the next trip to the department of motor vehicles.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I am not totally sure what I'm reading, but I like the direction it's going in.

[Doktor Howl]

I am not totally sure what I'm reading, but I like the direction it's going in.

It's just a place for me to store idle thoughts until I can get back to them.

As an aside, do you know anyone who has poodles?

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Poodles can climb trees?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I am not totally sure what I'm reading, but I like the direction it's going in.

It's just a place for me to store idle thoughts until I can get back to them.

As an aside, do you know anyone who has poodles?

Ludwig's weird German boyfriend has a poodle, I believe.

[Doktor Howl]

Poodles can climb trees?

Well, if they CAN'T, then there's an even BIGGER mystery:  Who the hell is putting them up there, and why?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Poodles can climb trees?

Well, if they CAN'T, then there's an even BIGGER mystery:  Who the hell is putting them up there, and why?

[Doktor Howl]

Given the difference in my body's ability to process intoxicants between 1996 and today, as evidenced by last week's slow recovery times, I need some full-body hoover underpants to suck the toxins out of my body.

I mean, Goretex will leech moisture right off of your skin, so there must be something that will drag alcohol, etc, right through your skin.  Find that, make undies out of it.

Note:  Test this on someone else first.

[Doktor Howl]

Interesting factoid:  Ozzie & Harriet were NOT Ozzie Osbourne and Harriet Tubman.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Interesting factoid:  Ozzie & Harriet were NOT Ozzie Osbourne and Harriet Tubman.

Oh, the mental image! 

[Doktor Howl]

If future generations discover time travel, or even transtemporal viewing systems, there's a good chance my descendants have seen everything I've ever done.  Even the stuff I've done in private.

Note 1:  This may explain why they never visit.

Note 2:  Find ways to irrepairably damage the planet or the human gene pool, to teach those fucking peeping Toms a lesson.

[Doktor Howl]

Elton John started off dressing like Liberace's dress dummy, and now he dresses like a club hopper with a bowl haircut.  In that time period, his music has gone from "Captain Fantastic" to "The Lion King" soundtrack.  Is the change in clothing cause or effect?

Note 1:  Consult with LMNO on this one.

Note 2:  Look up the guy that used to arrange Elton John's clothing, and have him dress John Meyer.  Watch for an increase in the quality of his music.

[Doktor Howl]

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[Doktor Howl]

Meteorologists are ALWAYS wrong.  0% chance of rain, it's fucking raining.

Note:  Ask a meteorologist who will win the next Superbowl, observe results.