I have a confession

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I always think I'm being trolled. And am always disappointed when it turns out I'm not.

I think that a good night's sleep, starting now, will help fix some of this melancholy.

Yep.  It's like you told me a few weeks back:  More sleep, less booze, get out and walk around.

Did me a world of fucking good.

E.O.T. says that I am forbidden to leave the house until the fever goes away. Which kind of conflicts with my GED testing and also I wanted to run the dogs with the Space Badass family today.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I can't even think about booze after Wednesday. Hork.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Sometimes, all I really wish for is to be normal. To be complacent, happy, and dull.

Being weird is lonely. You can't just turn it off when it becomes inconvenient, and I don't want to be anyone's novelty.

I come here because, for the most part, this is one of the few places where I feel like I belong. Even when people hate me, I still know I'm not alone, not the only malcontent in an ocean of the unquestioning.

But then I wonder whether maybe everyone feels exactly this way, exactly this isolated, this strange. Maybe this is the baseline experience of human existence.

Or maybe it's the flu speaking.

I think I miss being married.

Nigel, in the most caring way possible, fuck this line of thinking.

I spent part of high school thinking like that.  If I was this normal, then I realized I wouldn't have perspective.  I would be happy with all the little hand-fed, manufacture hings that will make 51% of the people satisfied.  I'd be into the right sports, play the right way, try to get the good grades, and otherwise accept a hamster wheel for a lost highway.  It STILL wouldn't equate to contentment either.  There'd be contentment, eventually, but it would be the prosaic kind.  Sure, my fun may not come as often or as easy.  That wasn't a dysfunction though, just a different timetable.  It's still all the more worthwhile when it does happen too.

Thanks, Richter. I try to tell myself that the one thing I can do is take the passion and intensity that often makes me lonely and miserable and turn them into something useful and interesting, and that way even if I'm never really happy again, I'll have some other kind of purpose.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

That feeling when you're surrounded by people, but you're all alone.
Yeah.



It's lonely in my world.

Daw! <3

[Arim the Backwards One]

Ah, i know that feeling far too well. Even though i would never want to live like 'normal' people do, sometimes i wish that i could fit in just a little, just be a little normal, dull and happy.
You're not the only one, so no need to feel lonely. Hope you'll eventually feel better.

[Lenin McCarthy]

Oh, I can identify!

My closest friends nowadays are probably all books.

[Reginald Ret]

Yeah, i know that feeling too, good food and sunshine often helps.

You know what depresses me even more than the thought that i'm not being trolled?
The idea that I am above average.
Seriously reality? Aiming low are we?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Yeah, i know that feeling too, good food and sunshine often helps.

You know what depresses me even more than the thought that i'm not being trolled?
The idea that I am above average.
Seriously reality? Aiming low are we?

Sunshine? 

[navkat]

I always think I'm being trolled. And am always disappointed when it turns out I'm not.

I think that a good night's sleep, starting now, will help fix some of this melancholy.

Yep.  It's like you told me a few weeks back:  More sleep, less booze...

Why does that sound like part of a weird kids cheer squad routine?

"Ready? Okay!
Less booze, more sleep!
Close your eyes and be a sheep!
More sleep, less booze!
You're acting like a fucking cooze!

Shut! *stomp*
Your cakehole! *clap clap*
Shut-shut! *stomp*
that cakehole! *clap clap*

You won't get away with tricks-
cuz we're a forum full of dicks!

GOOOOO RETARDS!!!!!

[Freeky]

 

[navkat]

I need to stop posting to peedee on my ativan.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Christ, my friends are assholes. I might post more about this later.