YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hate to jump on that needy train, but if any menial jobs are getting turned down, go ahead and shoot them over to me. I'm not above menial, nor pitching a tent in PDX till menial becomes rent. Just sayin.

"Menial" is subject to interpretation depending on your pre-existing skillset, but it's quite possible that I could connect you with an employer. Do you have any med-tech background at all?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Cain's guide to making bread.

"Its fucking bread.  Humanity figured out this shit around the same time it managed to learn to eat non-raw meat.  I'm sure you can manage."

This is because I am a paragon of virtue, and dedicated to a life of education and scholarly pursuits.

Part of the problem here is that she wants me to give her detailed instructions, which don't exist because I just wing it. But she can't comprehend "winging it", so she's always "BUT HOW MUCH, EXACTLY?"

If she wants a recipe, she should follow a recipe. If she wants to make bread the way I make bread, she needs to learn to fucking wing it.

Oh, she's one of those.

The only solution is to throw her into a situation where she has to wing it or die.

Lock her in the kitchen with nothing but bread ingredients for a month?

[Juana]

I repeat until desired result is achieved.

[P3nT4gR4m]

He looks like someone who would be very pleasant and fun to hang out with, which very much belies his gruff and anti-social persona (which I do not actually believe for a minute, FYI, even if I occasionally get annoyed at it. I strongly suspect him of being secretly a sweetheart).

This kinda surprised me and I think it's worth mentioning here because I am (I think) pleasant and fun to hang out with but only if you're one of the few who reciprocates that ethos. Needy, whiny, annoying dickheads on the other hand probably come away with a slightly different impression of me. I enjoy seeing their dumb little smiley faces crumple into shock and pain almost as much as I enjoy kicking back with the cool kids and having a laugh.

All men are not equal and some of them deserve to be hurt. The quicker I can work out which is which and act accordingly, the more straightforward my life seems to get.

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

Hate to jump on that needy train, but if any menial jobs are getting turned down, go ahead and shoot them over to me. I'm not above menial, nor pitching a tent in PDX till menial becomes rent. Just sayin.

"Menial" is subject to interpretation depending on your pre-existing skillset, but it's quite possible that I could connect you with an employer. Do you have any med-tech background at all?

Admin/clerical side mainly. Medical transcription for many years, and some light hands on vet-tech (chemo and sx) duties secondary to admin asst stint at Veterinary teaching hospital.

My skill-set's all over the place. I have a half-assed coding portfolio that CSU was kind enough to let me claim authorship of, even though I don't "own" any of my programs. The med transcription, insurance risk assessment, retail management, sales, CIS, Shipping/receiving, stage management (not IATSE yet, but eligible), acting, Drywall, vacuum/sewing repair, and I have absolutely no problem putting in 40+ scrubbing toilets...anything outside of those areas I'd prolly have to fake, though.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hate to jump on that needy train, but if any menial jobs are getting turned down, go ahead and shoot them over to me. I'm not above menial, nor pitching a tent in PDX till menial becomes rent. Just sayin.

"Menial" is subject to interpretation depending on your pre-existing skillset, but it's quite possible that I could connect you with an employer. Do you have any med-tech background at all?

Admin/clerical side mainly. Medical transcription for many years, and some light hands on vet-tech (chemo and sx) duties secondary to admin asst stint at Veterinary teaching hospital.

My skill-set's all over the place. I have a half-assed coding portfolio that CSU was kind enough to let me claim authorship of, even though I don't "own" any of my programs. The med transcription, insurance risk assessment, retail management, sales, CIS, Shipping/receiving, stage management (not IATSE yet, but eligible), acting, Drywall, vacuum/sewing repair, and I have absolutely no problem putting in 40+ scrubbing toilets...anything outside of those areas I'd prolly have to fake, though.

Do you have a degree, and can you work with cadavers?

[navkat]

Who are these wankers? Can I beat them with a shovel?

They are the assholes who have, for several years, purported to be my friends.

I'm a bit slow on the uptake, but it's starting to dawn on me that they are not, in fact, very good friends.

A BIT SLOW ON THE UPTAKE. THAT MEANS I NEED TO PAY SOMEONE THIRTY BUCKS TO REPLACE MY WASHER FLUID, RITE?

In other words: I feel ya.

[navkat]

I am the essence of calm. I am calm incarnate.

Says the guy who was gonna shit on the golf course green and stick a flag in it.   

You, sir, are an America-hating commie and should be deported back to Belgrade.

I much prefer to poop on the lawns of my enemies and stick in a lover-ly cocktail umbrella and a krazy-straw...you know, that shit is killer on your teeth if you're not careful.

[Doktor Howl]

I am the essence of calm. I am calm incarnate.

Says the guy who was gonna shit on the golf course green and stick a flag in it.   

You, sir, are an America-hating commie and should be deported back to Belgrade.

I much prefer to poop on the lawns of my enemies and stick in a lover-ly cocktail umbrella and a krazy-straw...you know, that shit is killer on your teeth if you're not careful.

Watch it, Missy...I AM AN ANGRY BLACK WOMAN.

[Roly Poly Oly-Garch]

Hate to jump on that needy train, but if any menial jobs are getting turned down, go ahead and shoot them over to me. I'm not above menial, nor pitching a tent in PDX till menial becomes rent. Just sayin.

"Menial" is subject to interpretation depending on your pre-existing skillset, but it's quite possible that I could connect you with an employer. Do you have any med-tech background at all?

Admin/clerical side mainly. Medical transcription for many years, and some light hands on vet-tech (chemo and sx) duties secondary to admin asst stint at Veterinary teaching hospital.

My skill-set's all over the place. I have a half-assed coding portfolio that CSU was kind enough to let me claim authorship of, even though I don't "own" any of my programs. The med transcription, insurance risk assessment, retail management, sales, CIS, Shipping/receiving, stage management (not IATSE yet, but eligible), acting, Drywall, vacuum/sewing repair, and I have absolutely no problem putting in 40+ scrubbing toilets...anything outside of those areas I'd prolly have to fake, though.

Do you have a degree, and can you work with cadavers?

No degree. Certificates not remotely related.

...and I could definitely work with cadavers.

Day labor's hopping out here in Go-Beaversburg so things are a lot more cushiony at the moment. Got signed on with worksource and I'm shopping like a mutha to get into Eugene or PDX, though (fingers crossed for the north...I've already done a few decades in a college town. My debt to society has been paid, and then some).

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hate to jump on that needy train, but if any menial jobs are getting turned down, go ahead and shoot them over to me. I'm not above menial, nor pitching a tent in PDX till menial becomes rent. Just sayin.

"Menial" is subject to interpretation depending on your pre-existing skillset, but it's quite possible that I could connect you with an employer. Do you have any med-tech background at all?

Admin/clerical side mainly. Medical transcription for many years, and some light hands on vet-tech (chemo and sx) duties secondary to admin asst stint at Veterinary teaching hospital.

My skill-set's all over the place. I have a half-assed coding portfolio that CSU was kind enough to let me claim authorship of, even though I don't "own" any of my programs. The med transcription, insurance risk assessment, retail management, sales, CIS, Shipping/receiving, stage management (not IATSE yet, but eligible), acting, Drywall, vacuum/sewing repair, and I have absolutely no problem putting in 40+ scrubbing toilets...anything outside of those areas I'd prolly have to fake, though.

Do you have a degree, and can you work with cadavers?

No degree. Certificates not remotely related.

...and I could definitely work with cadavers.

Day labor's hopping out here in Go-Beaversburg so things are a lot more cushiony at the moment. Got signed on with worksource and I'm shopping like a mutha to get into Eugene or PDX, though (fingers crossed for the north...I've already done a few decades in a college town. My debt to society has been paid, and then some).

Hmmm. Depending on what your resume looks like, I might suggest that you apply. But you should be aware that when I say "work with cadavers" I mean "make medically precise examinations and tissue extractions".

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I think she's trying to bond with you, Nigel. It isn't just bread juju she wants. It's ALL of your juju. Next she'll ask you to show her how to make beads.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I think she's trying to bond with you, Nigel. It isn't just bread juju she wants. It's ALL of your juju. Next she'll ask you to show her how to make beads.

Nooooooooo! 

Actually I really really like her, she's an awesome person, despite how these most unflattering vignettes must make her sound. I just don't like living with people who haven't, in one way or another, been inside  my body.

[Cainad (dec.)]

I think she's trying to bond with you, Nigel. It isn't just bread juju she wants. It's ALL of your juju. Next she'll ask you to show her how to make beads.

Nooooooooo! 

Actually I really really like her, she's an awesome person, despite how these most unflattering vignettes must make her sound. I just don't like living with people who haven't, in one way or another, been inside  my body.

There's probably an interesting essay or kinky poem to be written based on that observation.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I think she's trying to bond with you, Nigel. It isn't just bread juju she wants. It's ALL of your juju. Next she'll ask you to show her how to make beads.

Nooooooooo! 

Actually I really really like her, she's an awesome person, despite how these most unflattering vignettes must make her sound. I just don't like living with people who haven't, in one way or another, been inside  my body.

There's probably an interesting essay or kinky poem to be written based on that observation.

I think that it may be mostly an observation on my own personality defects, as the reason that I can tolerate those who have either visited or originated within my interior is that I, on some level, own them.

That sounds awful. But it's true.