Tired

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

There's a kind of tired that's hard to explain to people who have never truly known tired.

It's not a bad thing; that's the first thing to realize. It's a proud thing, a hard thing, sometimes a desperate thing, but not a bad thing. It's the kind of tired you get when you are doing more than you ever thought you could do, and pulling it off. When you wake up at 7 in the morning to wake up your children and get them ready for school, make breakfast, do a bit of reading, then go to school yourself. It's the kind of tired you get to at the end of a day when you know perfectly well that you never stopped pushing for a minute, didn't let up at all. When your biggest relaxation break was walking the two miles to school instead of driving. When you did homework through your lunch break, and fit in grocery shopping in between work and making dinner, changed the litterbox, did laundry, and then planned a Friday event with your best friend.

People who just do one thing don't understand; they can't. If you have a job, OR go to school, OR raise kids, this kind of tired cannot be achieved. It's not like the tired of partying too much. It requires at least two, preferably three major pressures in order to manifest. But it's not a negative; it's not just tired. It's not hopeless or futile, not worn-down or defeated. It's a kind of tired that's like a high, like running a marathon, like the tired of being awake for 36 hours giving birth. It's the kind of tired that's like a brag. It's an exhilarated high; the high of I FUCKING DID IT, I DID IT AND I CAN DO IT! It will kill you if you do it indefinitely, it leads to adrenal burnout and weird psychological and immune system disorders, but for now... well,

ok for now

-Nigel

[navkat]

This is fucking beautful. GO,NIGEL, GO, GO, GO!

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Yes, NIGEL IS KICKING ASS.
But the part aout doing it indefinitely is true. Can you delegate some of that? Some of the bazillion little things around the house, like the litterbox?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Yes, NIGEL IS KICKING ASS.
But the part aout doing it indefinitely is true. Can you delegate some of that? Some of the bazillion little things around the house, like the litterbox?

Thanks guys!

Quite a bit of it is delegated; my kids mostly do their own laundry, feed the dogs about half the time, collect the dirty dishes, tidy the living/dining rooms, and empty the dishwasher. My housemate mops the floors, has taken over baking the bread, and does 90% of the dishes, entirely of her own accord. E.O.T. is in the habit of taking the trash out when he comes by. I am very, very fortunate to be surrounded by supportive and helpful people, because honestly I would let a lot of those things slide in favor of higher priorities!

The litterbox is for the retarded cat I rescued three and a half years ago, and I won't inflict that on anyone. Plus, I don't want the kids to be exposed to toxoplasmosis and be transformed into cat-loving diagonal slow-walkers; I don't trust them to routinely take the precautions they need to.

My household duties are relatively minimal; I do minor maintenance, cook and sweep, change the litterbox, do my and LO's laundry, take care of the chickens and the yard, and buy groceries. The kids will run to the store for milk and sundries if I need them to. Oh, and MO does almost all my shipping! I keep meaning to teach EFO to do my stringing and, eventually, photography. I bet MO can do basic web maintenance too if I just took the time to teach him.

[Freeky]

Plus, I don't want the kids to be exposed to toxoplasmosis and be transformed into cat-loving diagonal slow-walkers; I don't trust them to routinely take the precautions they need to.

This whole thing made me

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Plus, I don't want the kids to be exposed to toxoplasmosis and be transformed into cat-loving diagonal slow-walkers; I don't trust them to routinely take the precautions they need to.

This whole thing made me

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I miss this kind of tired. It's not just the tired that satisfies you, it's the tired that keeps you going.

For me it was working a full time job (a stressful one two, but I loved it), going to school full time, doing my assignments on lunch break, and taking a break from snarfing food while reading about the Vietnam War to answer a post-doc's question. They offered to come back later, but dammit, I wanted to answer that question right there and then. And then going home and cooking dinner for my girlfriend at the time, and then hitting the books again when I wasn't at a shitty practice space with my last band, or gigging.

At the end of the week you feel smarter, your wallet is fatter, your belly is full of tastiness, and you got your rock on. And then, you realize why the weekend is so awesome. You're exhausted, but dammit, you earned that fucking beer. During the week you're too tired to feel tired. You feel amped even though you know you'll conk out as soon as your head hits the pillow. And on Saturday you could sleep in, but  you're already awake so you might as well do shit.


Goddamn, I miss that feeling. I was thinking about that feeling the other day too.

Thanks Nigel!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

IT IS THE TIRED THAT REFRESHES

THE TIRED OF VICTORY!

[Nephew Twiddleton]

IT IS THE TIRED THAT REFRESHES

THE TIRED OF VICTORY!

Seriously! I felt alive then. I FUCKING DID SOMETHING. And I felt young. I know I'm still youngish, but it was there. It was tangible. And goddamnit I was productive as hell.

[navkat]

I miss being 22 and pretty and in the Navy. Didn't have a boyfriend, didn't need one. I PT'd every single DAY, sometimes twice a day. I worked for the BEQ Chief, kept a shit-hot uniform and fucking loved life. All the boys wanted to nail me down, but mostly they wanted to nail me. Some of the girls too.

I got into this headspace where I was too busy working on my career to stop for anyone. I was up at 0500 every day and down at 2300.  I was driven. If I had too much time on my hands, I ran to the pool and swam. If someone needed something done, it got done NOW. I didn't gundeck anything and I didn't half-ass shit. I developed a unique signature that stood out. I did this on purpose to "brand" myself. When people saw something signed by me, they knew it was tight.

I miss that shit but never fear: there is plenty of gratifying ass to kick on an ambulance.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

One thing I've learned is that there is always MORE.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I still get the feeling sometimes but only in connection with music. It's not an all week sort of thing.

I do a gig, and I'm tired, and sometimes drunk depending on when we went on. But either way, I'm sweaty. And I love that sweaty. I love stepping off the stage after all the gear is wrapped up and I smell kinda bad. The sweat feels clean, even if it isn't. I love going outside with my shirt unbuttoned, regardless of what the temperature is. I love being absolutely wiped out coming back from recording. I love that sense of relief when all of the tension in your shoulders that you didn't know was their drains out of you when you finished writing a song.

I don't get that after work anymore. I only get that with music now.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

IME it only really sets in with things that you HAVE to do to survive.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

IME it only really sets in with things that you HAVE to do to survive.

Well, I think I'm going to get that feeling back soon then.

Twid,
Has come to the conclusion that he needs a second job.

[navkat]

Well, how do you like that, Nigel? You've convinced an entire cartload of forum monkeys that we need to be TIRED. It's GOOD to be tired. Get another job so you can be more TIRED.

You should work for the government.