Suicide Prevention

[Doktor Howl]

If you hear any voice suggesting you should waste yourself, say out loud: "AW SHUT UP, DOK, YA BIG FUCKBAG, YOU!"

And if THEN, you still can't bear to go on, at least wear a "rage face" t-shirt when you go.  Will your money and possessions, if any, to Faust, for server maintenance.  And remember that your memory will be despised by somebody, no matter what.  People who commit suicide are assholes to one or more survivors.  If it comes to suicide, make sure that you're at least being an asshole to someone who deserves it.  Also keep in mind that suicide is an express ticket to the kookhouse if you screw it up and survive, so make sure your method is catastrophic & foolproof.

Is it looking less like an alternative?  Good.  Unless you're Babylon Horuv.

THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER, EVER TO DO IN A SUICIDE, OR EVEN FOR FUN:

* Lay a big Waffle Iron Face stencil on sidewalk in front of tall building & aim for it when you jump.

* Arm-carving time again? See if you can complete "GIVE ME MEDIOCRITY OR KILL ME" in your arms before you black out.

* Put on a gimp mask, dress in a cheap suit, and walk around 14th & Minna waving and talking like Deputy Dawg or Huckleberry Hound.

* Is it actually possible to be fucked to death?

* In your suicide note, end every sentence with: "TGRR said so."  Write "I love you, Dark Empress Nigel" at the bottom.

* ESPECIALLY: DON'T find an overpass where rush hour traffic is usually bumper-to-bumper at around 90 miles an hour. Don't write down the overpass's clearance.  Don't get a rope and cut it the length of the clearance.  Don't make a hangman's noose, don't put the noose around your neck, don't put on a suit, don't put the rest of the rope inside the jacket, and don't take a pipe and something to smoke with you.  Don't go to the overpass, don't tie the other end of the rope to the rail, don't let the rest of the rope fall slack to the cement, don't light the pipe and take a few puffs, don't stroke your dick and get it hard, and, even if you DO do all that, DON'T jump off with your dick in your hand, pipe clenched in your grin, right into the flow of breakneck traffic speeding to work.  I mean it, DON'T DO IT.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Epic. The BH line is sheer genius. 

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

* Is it actually possible to be fucked to death?

FOR SCIENCE?

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

I was going to kill myself with fire.
But Dok said not to, so here I am.

[Juana]

[Doktor Howl]

I was going to kill myself with fire.
But Dok said not to, so here I am.

Your services are still required.

In a thousand years, you will again apply for self-termination, and once again rejected.  Because your services will still be required.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

  DAMN IT!

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Just out of curiosity.... Did that last thing happen?

[Doktor Howl]

Just out of curiosity.... Did that last thing happen?

Yeah.  In my pointy little head.   

[Richter]

If you hear any voice suggesting you should waste yourself, say out loud: "AW SHUT UP, DOK, YA BIG FUCKBAG, YOU!"

This is me, pre-coffee at work.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

  This is great. And dark.

[Wolfgang Absolutus]

  It's raining men.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

It's raining men.

[AFK]

* Arm-carving time again?

Just in the interest of because I want to share the info...

cutters, most of the time, aren't suicidal.  cutting is more in the vein (pun not intended, for serious) of substance abuse.  Something (irrationally) done for a therapeutic release. 

just sayin.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

* Arm-carving time again?

Just in the interest of because I want to share the info...

cutters, most of the time, aren't suicidal.  cutting is more in the vein (pun not intended, for serious) of substance abuse.  Something (irrationally) done for a therapeutic release. 

just sayin.

Yep. It releases the pain. My sister used to hurt herself. Not cutting, but hurting herself. It was a release.

But uh, even knowing that, takes away from the OP, since some people do opt to kill themselves by cutting their wrists.