You say the word.

[Salty]

Ah. Well, I see how things are now.

Here's the deal: More than half of my waking life is spent taking care of, cleaning up after, and helping develop a whole human being. That's what I do. Odds are, if it wasn't for that little human, you and I would have never met. That is VERY likely.

So understand that when you clearly have a drinking problem* and I bring to your attention that it absolutely SUCKS because YOU go AWAY and are replaced by a demanding, inconsiderate, immovable sack of meat totally incapable of consciousness on a MONDAY....

When I say that shit and you say, I shit you not, "I can stop anytime I want, just say the word." when you say that we come to a very awkward moment.

It's awkward for YOU because the bad news for YOU is it is not my job or place to tell you to put the booze down. You're a grown-up. You are mostly intelligent. You must realize that that is your call.

What I decide is not when you stop drinking, what I decide is when I will no longer subject myself to your motherfucking shenanigans because they a) bore me and b) disappoint me (and let's not forget WASTE MY MOTHERFUCKING TIME).

I'd say once more would be enough. The last three time were pretty shitty and I'm not prone to giving 4th chances. So. You do what you need to do

OR KILL ME.



*You may be thinking "Woah there, Alty. You sure as hell like your booze." Yeah, I do. I do not, however, make myself the burden of another as a result of that, nor do I really drink that much usually, just frequently. A beer or two everyday.

[Freeky]

Pretty much any time anyone says "I can stop anytime I want," you can probably bet money they can't, actually.  Not least because they don't want to.

[Salty]

Yes. I'm familiar. Too god damned familiar. Which is why I have such a low tolerance for it.

[Cain]

demanding, inconsiderate, immovable sack of meat totally incapable of consciousness on a MONDAY....

Also, incidentally, this describes me perfectly before my second coffee of the day.

[Freeky]

Yes. I'm familiar. Too god damned familiar. Which is why I have such a low tolerance for it.

I can see how that would be.

demanding, inconsiderate, immovable sack of meat totally incapable of consciousness on a MONDAY....

Also, incidentally, this describes me perfectly before my second coffee of the day.

[Salty]

demanding, inconsiderate, immovable sack of meat totally incapable of consciousness on a MONDAY....

Also, incidentally, this describes me perfectly before my second coffee of the day.

As long as I'm not the one that has to make your breakfast I won't hold it against you.

Oddly enough I find the one in the OP too damned chatty in the morning for the same reason.

[navkat]

It's a sickness you can see, hear and smell. The stale smell of too much alcohol...so much, you can still smell it in the morning coming out of their pores has become almost analogous to the smell of vomit on someone with a serious GI ailment.

They might not understand why you're disgusted but I do.   

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

demanding, inconsiderate, immovable sack of meat totally incapable of consciousness on a MONDAY....

Also, incidentally, this describes me perfectly before my second coffee of the day.

As long as I'm not the one that has to make your breakfast I won't hold it against you.

Oddly enough I find the one in the OP too damned chatty in the morning for the same reason.

Useless AND chatty? 

Get rid of it.

[Freeky]

Hey now. Chatty is only a crime if they don't catch on that you want them to shut up.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hey now. Chatty is only a crime if they don't catch on that you want them to shut up.

1. They never do.

2. They can't help it.

As far as I can tell, it's a fundamental difference in personality. Silence and solitude feels as uncomfortable and unpleasant to them as chatter and the constant presence of others feels to us. The only solution is segregation.

[Doktor Howl]

Hey now. Chatty is only a crime if they don't catch on that you want them to shut up.

1. They never do.

2. They can't help it.

As far as I can tell, it's a fundamental difference in personality. Silence and solitude feels as uncomfortable and unpleasant to them as chatter and the constant presence of others feels to us. They only solution is segregation.

This world would be a better place if These People learned to SHUT UP and MAKE SOME GODDAMN SENSE.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hey now. Chatty is only a crime if they don't catch on that you want them to shut up.

1. They never do.

2. They can't help it.

As far as I can tell, it's a fundamental difference in personality. Silence and solitude feels as uncomfortable and unpleasant to them as chatter and the constant presence of others feels to us. They only solution is segregation.

This world would be a better place if These People learned to SHUT UP and MAKE SOME GODDAMN SENSE.

EQUAL BUT SEPARATE.

[Doktor Howl]

Hey now. Chatty is only a crime if they don't catch on that you want them to shut up.

1. They never do.

2. They can't help it.

As far as I can tell, it's a fundamental difference in personality. Silence and solitude feels as uncomfortable and unpleasant to them as chatter and the constant presence of others feels to us. They only solution is segregation.

This world would be a better place if These People learned to SHUT UP and MAKE SOME GODDAMN SENSE.

EQUAL BUT SEPARATE.

SEPARATE BUT SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Hey now. Chatty is only a crime if they don't catch on that you want them to shut up.

1. They never do.

2. They can't help it.

As far as I can tell, it's a fundamental difference in personality. Silence and solitude feels as uncomfortable and unpleasant to them as chatter and the constant presence of others feels to us. They only solution is segregation.

This world would be a better place if These People learned to SHUT UP and MAKE SOME GODDAMN SENSE.

EQUAL BUT SEPARATE.

SEPARATE BUT SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

EQUAL BUT REEEEAAARARRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

[Salty]

demanding, inconsiderate, immovable sack of meat totally incapable of consciousness on a MONDAY....

Also, incidentally, this describes me perfectly before my second coffee of the day.

As long as I'm not the one that has to make your breakfast I won't hold it against you.

Oddly enough I find the one in the OP too damned chatty in the morning for the same reason.

Useless AND chatty? 

Get rid of it.

The lame part is she is not useless when she's sober.  She has two jobs, a nice resturant and one the best local brewery, she knows how to use all those power tools I do not, she has a fairly capable brain....none of which does anybody any good when that brain is soaked in 10% beer. All of which makes me more mad because, you know, who the hell cares about some dumbass who can't put it down? Such a waste.