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The Gospel According To Roger

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, July 09, 2012, 05:50:45 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

#30
July 10, 2012, 02:42:13 PM
Once upon a time in an era of really bad music, I was a child.  During this time period, I was fascinated by the way the world worked.  Very early on, I decided that I would be a physicist, so that I could understand how the world worked.  This was a naïve game plan, but what can you do?  I wasn't yet 10 years old.

Time passed.

When I was a young man, I took as many courses as my army service would allow, given the usual time constraints, etc, that are placed on an infantryman.  I learned the basics of how the universe operates, but my questions were not answered.

Shortly thereafter, I paid a visit to a doll factory.  I think I've told that story enough...Suffice it to say, I learned a little of the way the world actually worked that day.  But my questions were still not answered.

Sometime in the very early 90s, though, I found myself surrounded by fiends in officer's uniforms, with human faces stapled to whatever it was they had for their own faces.  Being who they were, they had plans.  Nothing Earth-shattering, just another "experiment" they decided to conduct on the people they were sworn to serve, in case they needed to use whatever it was – and what it was is immaterial for this story – on an "enemy".

They say that all that is required for evil men to succeed is that good men do nothing.  But listen.  Listen.  Just listen:  Most decisions you make aren't actually dichotomies...There are usually other possible decisions you can make.  But as you do so, mourn that kid wearing corporals rank...For when I looked inside myself, I saw no good; only mirth and mischief.  I laughed and laughed until my throat was raw; in a way, I was, perhaps, trying to laugh the wickedness out.  I'm still laughing, though it may in fact sound like something else.

Needless to say, I now understood how the world worked.  My questions having been answered, I left university and never saw a reason to go back.

So it was no great surprise to find myself here after I died.  As I've said before, I actually expected worse.  And all that nonsense about not being able to leave Tucson?  Rubbish.  The highway is a quarter mile away, and leads to El Paso in the East, and Los Angeles in the West.  I can get on the highway whenever I want.

No, you see, the reason I stay on this airless rock, scoured by the sun and infested with awful critters isn't so much that I am trapped here for my sins...No, there's a much different reason:

I belong here.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#31
July 10, 2012, 03:05:27 PM
Is this the way death works?  I find myself slipping in and out of an eight-hour limbo.  After passing beneath the arch of the doomed, my "being-ness" slips from my body and the robot stumbles forward under the well-lit fluorescents.  Orderly rows and cubes stretch out and offer what comfort they can, the comfort of company.  The body is not alone, there are hundreds of other husks drifting by.  We are assigned tasks by other shells with masks on, and we collectively bend our heads and toil, without feeling, without hope, without any emotion which might be considered unproductive.

This is the penance that is paid for living in a world built on the backs of the oppressed; we sacrifice ourselves in the illusion that doing so will make us free.  We live for the instant the soul returns to our bodies as we cross the threshold into the sun.  But that instant passes far too quickly, and we are left with nothing but our petty complaints.

The Good Reverend Roger

#32
July 10, 2012, 03:53:29 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on July 10, 2012, 03:05:27 PM
Is this the way death works?  I find myself slipping in and out of an eight-hour limbo.  After passing beneath the arch of the doomed, my "being-ness" slips from my body and the robot stumbles forward under the well-lit fluorescents.  Orderly rows and cubes stretch out and offer what comfort they can, the comfort of company.  The body is not alone, there are hundreds of other husks drifting by.  We are assigned tasks by other shells with masks on, and we collectively bend our heads and toil, without feeling, without hope, without any emotion which might be considered unproductive.

This is the penance that is paid for living in a world built on the backs of the oppressed; we sacrifice ourselves in the illusion that doing so will make us free.  We live for the instant the soul returns to our bodies as we cross the threshold into the sun.  But that instant passes far too quickly, and we are left with nothing but our petty complaints.

I do not know whether or not that is "death".  In fact, I'm sure it isn't.

But it isn't "living", either.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#33
July 10, 2012, 04:30:41 PM
:cluephone:

Phone's ringing, Roger.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#34
July 11, 2012, 01:01:13 AM
It occurs to me that I'm married to a necrophiliac.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#35
July 11, 2012, 01:03:37 AM
Doesn't work that way if everybody's dead. Unless she has some kind of immunity?
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

#36
July 11, 2012, 01:05:19 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on July 11, 2012, 01:03:37 AM
Doesn't work that way if everybody's dead. Unless she has some kind of immunity?

By the strict definition of the word, it doesn't mean that one person has to be alive.

Shit.  That makes me a necrophiliac, too.

TDRR,
Doesn't give a FUUUUUUUCK!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#37
July 11, 2012, 01:10:00 AM
Quote from: The Dead Reverend Roger on July 11, 2012, 01:05:19 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on July 11, 2012, 01:03:37 AM
Doesn't work that way if everybody's dead. Unless she has some kind of immunity?

By the strict definition of the word, it doesn't mean that one person has to be alive.

Shit.  That makes me a necrophiliac, too.

TDRR,
Doesn't give a FUUUUUUUCK!

:lulz:
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

The Good Reverend Roger

#38
July 11, 2012, 02:41:28 PM
I am genuinely surprised by my ability to find humor in all of this.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Freeky

#39
July 11, 2012, 06:09:45 PM
That is a lucky ( happy?) cacident.   :)

The Good Reverend Roger

#40
July 11, 2012, 08:38:28 PM
The Ant and the Grasshopper

Once there lived an ant and a grasshopper in a grassy meadow.

All day long the ant would work hard, stealing grains of wheat from the farmer's field far away.  She would hurry to the field every morning, as soon as it was light enough to see by, and toil back with a heavy grain of wheat balanced on her head.  She would put the grain of wheat carefully away in her larder, and then hurry back to the field for another one.  All day long she would work, without stop or rest, scurrying back and forth from the field, collecting the grains of wheat and storing them carefully in her larder.

The grasshopper would look at her and laugh.  "Why do you work so hard, dear ant?" he would say.  "Come, rest awhile, listen to my song. Summer is here, the days are long and bright. Why waste the sunshine in labour and toil?"

The ant would ignore him, and head bent, would just hurry to the field a little faster. This would make the grasshopper laugh even louder.  "What a silly little ant you are!" he would call after her.  "'Come, come and dance with me! Forget about work! Enjoy the summer! Live a little!"  And the grasshopper would hop away across the meadow, singing and dancing merrily.

Summer faded into autumn, and autumn turned into winter.  The sun was hardly seen, and the days were short and grey, the nights long and dark.  It became freezing cold, and snow began to fall.

The grasshopper didn't feel like singing any more.  He was cold and hungry.  He had nowhere to shelter from the snow, and nothing to eat.  The meadow and the farmer's field were covered in snow, and there was no food to be had.  "Oh what shall I do? Where shall I go?" wailed the grasshopper.  Suddenly he remembered the ant.  "Ah - I shall go to the ant and ask her for food and shelter!" declared the grasshopper, perking up.  So off he went to the ant's house and knocked at her door.  "Hello ant!", he cried cheerfully.  "Here I am, to sing for you, as I warm myself by your fire, while you get me some food from that larder of yours!"

The ant looked at the grasshopper and said,  "All summer long I worked hard while you made fun of me, and sang and danced.  You should have thought of winter then!  Find somewhere else to sing, grasshopper!  There is no warmth or food for you here!"

The grasshopper thought about this for a moment, and reflected that A) The ant's food was stolen from the farmer, and B) Insects don't have police.

So he bit the ant's head off and took her shit.

Moral:  Don't be anyone's insect.  It sucks, and then you get eaten.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#41
July 11, 2012, 08:43:27 PM
Quote from: The Dead Reverend Roger on July 11, 2012, 08:38:28 PM
The Ant and the Grasshopper

Once there lived an ant and a grasshopper in a grassy meadow.

All day long the ant would work hard, stealing grains of wheat from the farmer's field far away.  She would hurry to the field every morning, as soon as it was light enough to see by, and toil back with a heavy grain of wheat balanced on her head.  She would put the grain of wheat carefully away in her larder, and then hurry back to the field for another one.  All day long she would work, without stop or rest, scurrying back and forth from the field, collecting the grains of wheat and storing them carefully in her larder.

The grasshopper would look at her and laugh.  "Why do you work so hard, dear ant?" he would say.  "Come, rest awhile, listen to my song. Summer is here, the days are long and bright. Why waste the sunshine in labour and toil?"

The ant would ignore him, and head bent, would just hurry to the field a little faster. This would make the grasshopper laugh even louder.  "What a silly little ant you are!" he would call after her.  "'Come, come and dance with me! Forget about work! Enjoy the summer! Live a little!"  And the grasshopper would hop away across the meadow, singing and dancing merrily.

Summer faded into autumn, and autumn turned into winter.  The sun was hardly seen, and the days were short and grey, the nights long and dark.  It became freezing cold, and snow began to fall.

The grasshopper didn't feel like singing any more.  He was cold and hungry.  He had nowhere to shelter from the snow, and nothing to eat.  The meadow and the farmer's field were covered in snow, and there was no food to be had.  "Oh what shall I do? Where shall I go?" wailed the grasshopper.  Suddenly he remembered the ant.  "Ah - I shall go to the ant and ask her for food and shelter!" declared the grasshopper, perking up.  So off he went to the ant's house and knocked at her door.  "Hello ant!", he cried cheerfully.  "Here I am, to sing for you, as I warm myself by your fire, while you get me some food from that larder of yours!"

The ant looked at the grasshopper and said,  "All summer long I worked hard while you made fun of me, and sang and danced.  You should have thought of winter then!  Find somewhere else to sing, grasshopper!  There is no warmth or food for you here!"

The grasshopper thought about this for a moment, and reflected that A) The ant's food was stolen from the farmer, and B) Insects don't have police.

So he bit the ant's head off and took her shit.

Moral:  Don't be anyone's insect.  It sucks, and then you get eaten.

Fuckin' A.  :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Luna

#42
July 12, 2012, 03:03:39 AM
Quote from: The Dead Reverend Roger on July 11, 2012, 08:38:28 PM
The Ant and the Grasshopper

Once there lived an ant and a grasshopper in a grassy meadow.

All day long the ant would work hard, stealing grains of wheat from the farmer's field far away.  She would hurry to the field every morning, as soon as it was light enough to see by, and toil back with a heavy grain of wheat balanced on her head.  She would put the grain of wheat carefully away in her larder, and then hurry back to the field for another one.  All day long she would work, without stop or rest, scurrying back and forth from the field, collecting the grains of wheat and storing them carefully in her larder.

The grasshopper would look at her and laugh.  "Why do you work so hard, dear ant?" he would say.  "Come, rest awhile, listen to my song. Summer is here, the days are long and bright. Why waste the sunshine in labour and toil?"

The ant would ignore him, and head bent, would just hurry to the field a little faster. This would make the grasshopper laugh even louder.  "What a silly little ant you are!" he would call after her.  "'Come, come and dance with me! Forget about work! Enjoy the summer! Live a little!"  And the grasshopper would hop away across the meadow, singing and dancing merrily.

Summer faded into autumn, and autumn turned into winter.  The sun was hardly seen, and the days were short and grey, the nights long and dark.  It became freezing cold, and snow began to fall.

The grasshopper didn't feel like singing any more.  He was cold and hungry.  He had nowhere to shelter from the snow, and nothing to eat.  The meadow and the farmer's field were covered in snow, and there was no food to be had.  "Oh what shall I do? Where shall I go?" wailed the grasshopper.  Suddenly he remembered the ant.  "Ah - I shall go to the ant and ask her for food and shelter!" declared the grasshopper, perking up.  So off he went to the ant's house and knocked at her door.  "Hello ant!", he cried cheerfully.  "Here I am, to sing for you, as I warm myself by your fire, while you get me some food from that larder of yours!"

The ant looked at the grasshopper and said,  "All summer long I worked hard while you made fun of me, and sang and danced.  You should have thought of winter then!  Find somewhere else to sing, grasshopper!  There is no warmth or food for you here!"

The grasshopper thought about this for a moment, and reflected that A) The ant's food was stolen from the farmer, and B) Insects don't have police.

So he bit the ant's head off and took her shit.

Moral:  Don't be anyone's insect.  It sucks, and then you get eaten.

Heh.  Nice.
Death-dealing hormone freak of deliciousness
Pagan-Stomping Valkyrie of the Interbutts™
Rampaging Slayer of Shit-Fountain Habitues

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake, and they live in a state of constant, total amazement."

Quote from: The Payne on November 16, 2011, 07:08:55 PM
If Luna was a furry, she'd sex humans and scream "BEASTIALITY!" at the top of her lungs at inopportune times.

Quote from: Nigel on March 24, 2011, 01:54:48 AM
I like the Luna one. She is a good one.

Quote
"Stop talking to yourself.  You don't like you any better than anyone else who knows you."

Anna Mae Bollocks

#43
July 12, 2012, 03:29:18 AM
TDRR - permission to repost, with due credit?
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

#44
July 12, 2012, 01:58:30 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on July 12, 2012, 03:29:18 AM
TDRR - permission to repost, with due credit?

Go ahead.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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