Sending people off

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Whoever is in charge of the funeral asks if someone wants to speak so presumably the ten year old agreed to it. Whether they did so out of obligation is another thing entirely.

As for myself i want the standard wake funeral and burial. I used to want cremation until i considered the environmental implications. Funeral service is to be nonchristian but some sort of watered down spiritual thing. Getting hammered is obligatory and some whiskey is to be spilled on my grave. Extra points if the wake is arranged such that people think its a party at a bar and theres a half consumed drink in front of my slumped over body with cool kid written on my forehead. Poor bastard who realizes im dead gets one on the house.

Honestly I am surprised the bolded was never acknowledged.

We can do this...  Is "cool kid" obligatory, or may we, in our sodden delirium, improvise?

Improvisation is allowed. It can be a big dick pointing at my mouth if you like. It has to be in the cool kid spirit though. People need to look at me and think I'm passed out way too early until the horrible truth is realized.

Whoever is in charge of the funeral asks if someone wants to speak so presumably the ten year old agreed to it. Whether they did so out of obligation is another thing entirely.

As for myself i want the standard wake funeral and burial. I used to want cremation until i considered the environmental implications. Funeral service is to be nonchristian but some sort of watered down spiritual thing. Getting hammered is obligatory and some whiskey is to be spilled on my grave. Extra points if the wake is arranged such that people think its a party at a bar and theres a half consumed drink in front of my slumped over body with cool kid written on my forehead. Poor bastard who realizes im dead gets one on the house.

Honestly I am surprised the bolded was never acknowledged.

Totally missed it.

I approve, but for some reason, prudes in government call that "desecrating a corpse", when you and I know it's really "having a laugh".

I'll put a provision in my will once I get one together so that anyone involved is not unduly prosecuted. And seriously that's the difference between a funeral and a wake, at least in my mind. The wake is to celebrate, the funeral is to mourn. What better way to celebrate if I can pull of a post mortem prank?

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

There was a story that some UT medical students stole a body and took it to a party. They arranged him at a picnic table like he was passed out. I don't know if there's any truth to it, but if it happened it was an utter waste of effort because NONE OF THE PARTYGOERS NOTICED

[Nephew Twiddleton]

That makes twid sad.

Twid
alcohol works like fucking caffeine on me.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Caffeine interestingly keeps me barely awake. I consider it the lamest drug ever because it cant even do what it says on the label for me as of 1998

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Caffeine interestingly keeps me barely awake. I consider it the lamest drug ever because it cant even do what it says on the label for me as of 1998

It usually wires me up a little, but sometimes it'll make me nod off for a minute or two. WTF?

[Nephew Twiddleton]

The crappy thing about caffeine addiction is that it barely gets you to normal. Booze is the only thing that keeps me consistantly awake because well genetic propensity towards alcoholism. I always want to get more drunk. I at least recognize this.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Caffiene makes me oh god oh god oh god.

Alcohol makes me OH FUCKING GOD IS THIS A BAD IDEA? WHATEVERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Speaking of bad ideas and god and death, where the FUCK is Squid?

[The Dark Monk]

Alcohol makes me pee too much, even when I'm not drunk. DAMN YOU HIGH METABOLISM 
Caffeine on the other hand....makes me pee a lot.