How most men, even good caring men, have no clue what women go through

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

I debated whether or not to share this story.

And then I debated whether or not to put it on Tumblr...but I decided it was important.  Because in my own way, I can (unfortunately) point out exactly what is wrong with men when they don't realize how hard it is to be a woman.  How we do not have equal opportunities and freedoms in everyday life.  How most men, even good caring men, have no clue what we go through on a daily basis just trying to live our lives.

http://unwinona.tumblr.com/post/30861660109/i-debated-whether-or-not-to-share-this-story

[Luna]

Thanks for sharing, Net.  People need to see this shit.

[Lenin McCarthy]

That post genuinely surprised me. And scared me. Maybe because it's probably less common in Norway, partly because it's a less patriarchal society and partly because talking to people on the train is rare.

[Reginald Ret]

A typical male reply would be:
Take some self-defence classes.
or
Learn to handle a knife.

[Luna]

A typical male reply would be:
Take some self-defence classes.
or
Learn to handle a knife.

The attitude that it's okay for men to be assholes, women just need to learn how deal with it and, if necessary, defend themselves is part of the problem, not a solution.

[Verbal Mike]

 

[Signora Pæsior]

I really, really wish this shocked me 

[Luna]

I really, really wish this shocked me 

That'd be nice, wouldn't it?

Glad somebody took the time to sit down and write it out.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Thanks for sharing, Net.  People need to see this shit.

I found it to be very well written and yeah, necessary for it to be shared.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Definitely, well written and well worth the read. The screamer with the bike is a bit of an extreme case, but by no means uncommon sadly.  The description of the daily harassment is pretty much dead on with similar conversations and observations I've had. Thanks Net.

[hooplala]

A typical male reply would be:
Take some self-defence classes.
or
Learn to handle a knife.

The attitude that it's okay for men to be assholes, women just need to learn how deal with it and, if necessary, defend themselves is part of the problem, not a solution.

It's certainly not ok for men to act like this, but I think it is fair to say that women should learn to defend themselves.  So should men.  Everyone should know basic defense skills.

Having said that... the first couple situations are grotesque and barbaric, but I can't say they surprised me... the bicycle man, however, was a different matter.  Ladies, please enlighten me, is that sort of berserk behavior common?  He sounded more genuinely mentally ill to me, than just a run-of-the-mill male asshole... am I wrong?

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

A typical male reply would be:
Take some self-defence classes.
or
Learn to handle a knife.

How would self-defense or knife-handling skills prevent her from being repeatedly verbally harassed?

Should she wear a sign that says "I KNOW KUNG FU" and twirl a butterfly knife while she reads her book?

[Luna]

A typical male reply would be:
Take some self-defence classes.
or
Learn to handle a knife.

The attitude that it's okay for men to be assholes, women just need to learn how deal with it and, if necessary, defend themselves is part of the problem, not a solution.

It's certainly not ok for men to act like this, but I think it is fair to say that women should learn to defend themselves.  So should men.  Everyone should know basic defense skills.

Having said that... the first couple situations are grotesque and barbaric, but I can't say they surprised me... the bicycle man, however, was a different matter.  Ladies, please enlighten me, is that sort of berserk behavior common?  He sounded more genuinely mentally ill to me, than just a run-of-the-mill male asshole... am I wrong?

Quite likely he was off his rocker.

However, the simple fact remains that, if you're female, you never know if the random guy who walks into a near empty public transport and decides to sit next to you is going to lose his shit if you don't give him the attention he wants.

It's considered OKAY for a man to interrupt a woman who's obviously engaged in a book, because conversation with him is rated more important than a solitary activity.  He "just wanted to talk," and if she turns him down, she's being "rude," at best.

When I'm on the bus, I wear earphones, even if I'm not listening to music.  Tends to cut down on the interruptions when I'm trying to read...  But, even if you're not really aware you're doing it, as a lone female, you're always aware of who's getting close to your personal space, and doing a quick threat assessment. 

[Signora Pæsior]

A typical male reply would be:
Take some self-defence classes.
or
Learn to handle a knife.

The attitude that it's okay for men to be assholes, women just need to learn how deal with it and, if necessary, defend themselves is part of the problem, not a solution.

It's certainly not ok for men to act like this, but I think it is fair to say that women should learn to defend themselves.  So should men.  Everyone should know basic defense skills.

Having said that... the first couple situations are grotesque and barbaric, but I can't say they surprised me... the bicycle man, however, was a different matter.  Ladies, please enlighten me, is that sort of berserk behavior common?  He sounded more genuinely mentally ill to me, than just a run-of-the-mill male asshole... am I wrong?

Speaking from experience, all the defence skills in the world don't necessarily make you feel safer when alone with someone who has a foot and 100 pounds on you. 

And, unfortunately... while not everyday occurrences, situations like this aren't what I would call uncommon, either.

[hooplala]

No, self defense skills won't make you feel safer against anyone larger than you, and they won't stop assholes from beginning unrequested conversations... but they are still handy to have.

And no Luna, it's not considered OK for a man to interrupt a woman who's obviously engaged in a book, but people obviously do it anyway.  People tend to do what they think they can get away with.  The shitty thing is most of these guys likely think they are doing nothing wrong.